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07.10.08, 17:25 PM Toddler
16 replies
Please no flames. Broke up with affair recently. Miss him so much. Tell me to be strong. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
 

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You broke up with him for a reason. Don't forget that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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just remind yourself of why you guys broke it off. it will pass. stay strong. btdt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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why did you break it off (besides the obvious) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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DH found out and how supportive and loving he has been since made me see him in a completely new light. I really love(d) the affair but I want to give my marriage another chance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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wow, your DH was supportive when he found out you had an affair?! Hold on tight to this one!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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seriously. good luck to you both, try to get over the affair and be happy with your clearly great dh who obviously loves you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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was he married as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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be strong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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Grow up. Have some dignity and class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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You don't get it till you have been there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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I think it's natural that you miss him. Hang in there, and don't expect that you won't feel pain and loss. I wish you and your H the very best. A PP says that you broke up with your AP for a reason, but there must also have been reasons why you had an affair with him. I would look at that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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I'm sure you feel in love with this man, but look at the situation from a non-romantic way....like a therapist would see it. Truth be told, affairs are often an "escape", particularly to women who feel their entire identity is wrapped up in being mommy and wifey. (ie-maid, cook, nurturer with no paycheck or appreciation) It's no wonder that you feel so connected to this man....he probably made you feel like [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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I agree but I don't think only women whose identity is wrapped up in being a mom and a wife have affairs. I am a MW having an affair with a MM, and I also work fulltime. My AP and I have tried breaking up many times, and always ended up in the same place as the OP -- missing each other and then someone breaks down and calls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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(sorry, i accidently hit post when i wan't done with this) Anyway, he probably made you feel like yourself for the first time in a long time. Like a woman, like a sexual being. That's very powerful. Try to see that it's probably not HIM you miss as much as the way being with him made you feel. That helps take away some of the power from the person you miss, if you identify exactly what feelings his presence in your life evoked, and know that it's how you felt with him is really what you miss. You may truly love this man, but if you want to move on, you're going to have to take this approach. One other thing I would say is if you truly, truly want to move on, and not love him anymore, pray about it. I'm not religous at all, so it's funny that I would even give that advice, but I know that if you ask God or the universe or whatever you believe in to help you with this, it can be comforting. I'm sorry for your heartbreak, I know it's not easy, but you can do this. Don't be hard on yourself...you're mourning a loss, so allow yourself to be sad and miss him, but again, begin day by day to balance that with seing the situation as a therapist would. You are stronger than you think you are. I hope you find peace of mind soon - trust me that it will get easier every day, but you do have to reassure yourself that you ARE strong, and I know that you will stay that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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Very good reply. Much hard to say than do, but it is best to leave while it is still beautiful. You know that some day the end is inevitable. Do no wait until the luster is gone. It might sound unbelievable right now, but if you wait long enough, the affair itself will find a way to erode your love. There is so much anguish that goes along with the love, and in the end it erodes the ground you stand on. Do not wait till what is beautiful gets mared by ugliness. Get out now. It is better to sob into your pillow and miss for a while and have fond memories with 'what if' feelings to remember than to have nothing but emptiness left. Trust me, leave while you still feel deeply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.12.09, 09:54 PM Flag
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