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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Nanny vs. daycare. Pls advise. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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I did a Nanny for 1st year of life and then switched to daycare. I felt that was a good age to becoming more interactive with other dbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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where do u live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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UES [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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where on earth is there daycare -- i live there too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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yeah, NYC has so so few daycares, it's almost not an option [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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np-bright horizons on 70th bw 1st and York. Mostly Cornell Med people, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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right, they told me not to even bother if i wasnt w/cornell [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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ditto! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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is that a new nabe acronym I don't know of? is it near dumbo? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.07.11, 01:49 PM Flag
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i agree - nanny for first year or year and a half, and then daycare [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.07.11, 01:52 PM Flag
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depends on many things. we have a nanny, and to me the pros are: one on one care; its in your home, which is familiar nad you don't have to get it together to do drop off; more flexibile in terms of hours; almost alwyas cheaper to add a 2d kid. cons: you are dependent on one person; you may not like having someone work in your home; less oversight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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^^oh, adn the obvious upside to daycare of socialization. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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I think you can't beat the convenience of the nanny situation. No lunch to pack, no child to dress and get out the door, my commute isn't any longer b/c i have to do drop off and pick up, etc. It's great. Plus, assuming you find the right person, it's very nice for a baby to have a caregiver who is devoted to them alone, imho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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If taking care of a kid is so much of a hassle to you, why did you have one in the first place?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.09.09, 02:29 PM Flag
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Are you serious? That was SO rude of you to say. You shouldn't judge others in such a way. How can you actually ask someone why they brought a precious child into this world? Just because someone expresses the many responsibilities involved with preparing a child for daycare does not mean that they should have second guessed bringing their child into this world. That was a very ignorant a mean statement to make. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.07.11, 01:41 PM Flag
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We have always used daycare. Mostly liked the idea of dd being around multiple adults & children- seemed like it'd give her more options of people to relate to, and somehow felt safer to me (though now that i know a lot of nannies, i dont think i would feel unsafe about one at all). Also, i didn't want to have to manage an employee. It's worked out well, though it's not as convenient as a nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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I could have written this myself. Also, while I feel better about nannies now than pre-ds, I also see all of my friends encounter nanny issues at some point (make go through a couple before they find one they like, they get pregnant themselves, etc.). But I feel like dd might go out more with a nanny vs. at daycare and my Mom has to help when ds gets sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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Daycare. My own. Priceless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.09.09, 02:30 PM Flag
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so all moms should stay home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.09.09, 02:37 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 12.09.09, 07:02 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 12.09.09, 06:58 PM Flag
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1. The Obama family is moving in their mother-in-law to the White House. More and more families are looking into hiring a Granny Nanny. 2. Affordability of a nanny in today's society. a. Nannies are not just for the wealthy. b. If you have 2 or more kids in daycare; you would be paying the same for a nanny in most cases. c. If your kids are sick, you can still go to work - a nanny could stay with the kids and kids seem to stay more healthy out of daycare settings. 3. Families hiring nannies online and saving thousands of dollars rather than using a Nanny Placement Agency. 4. A nanny can simplify your life. 5. Nanny Share - Where 2 families are sharing a nanny due to cost. Carolin Soldo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 12.09.09, 07:01 PM Flag
[ - ] You know when you have that feeling? That bad feeling? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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yes. i do. sorry. it will pass. what's it about for you right now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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sure- I'm pretty on top of all my feelings. I know the range of good feeling signs too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
[ - ] Any place on the UWS that sells sugar-free cakes or cupcakes? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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Maybe Zabars or Citarella? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] what's are the most progressive privates in new york? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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these are progressives I know of. City and Country (been around over 90 yrs), LREI, Manhattan Country School, Friends (Somewhat) and so is Dalton..but with that said Many schools are a mix of progressive these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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The most progressive is probably Steiner. MCS is also very progress. Also progressives, ECFS and Trevor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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^^^^ and Calhoun is also really progressive. Don't forget Bank Street [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
[ - ] I WANT THIS BABY TO COME OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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I'M NOT READYYYYYYYY!!!!! AND IT'S NICE IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Are you pretending to be the baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] What would you think about a 4 YO old who didn't take an interest in kids her age but enjoyed the company of older kids and adults a lot. She is not overly precocious (sp). She speaks really well but isn't great at sharing and can be a bit bossy with her peers. TIA 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.16.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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this is my dd too!! her teachers say it's normal for some kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Nothing. But I'm sure will change once she's in school and forced to be around kids her own age on a daily basis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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not abnormal, to me.is she an only or a younger sib? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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op: An only. I WOH and honestly wish I was better about playdates, etc, but whenever I do them she really isn't responsive and I always feel bad for the other kid. She had a good 2nd half year at preschool, was more engaged with the kids etc. But everytime I asked about her friends she said the teachers were her friends...sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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i was anonly and i know i was more comfortable with adults thatn other kids for a lot of my childhood. and i am not a serialkiller now. she will be fine; school will make a difference, and ideally you shold be trying for more playdates but its OK if you odn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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i am wondering if she is a little more precocious than you recognize. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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she sounds either immature or spoiled..maybe a little of both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Thanks, you sound like a winner! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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listen you asked I answered. She could be shy and is insecure with other kids..or she can be spoiled. You are the only one that knows your kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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^^the bossy part makes me think she's either spoiled or insecure. Either way it sounds like she needs more practice with kids her own age. Make playdates [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Working Mom who is 8 mo pg. I have one more week left of work and I'm totally exhausted. Anyone want to chat? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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Are you high risk? Why are you leaving work so early? I'm lucky, I own my own business, and have decided to put it on hold for a year, but everyone else I know who is pg and working is working straight up to their due date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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I live 45 minutes from my office and I have SUA (Single Umbical Artery) and they don't want me to working up to the date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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I'm not familiar with SUA, is everything going to be alright? (I really hope so) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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Yes, they just had to monitor me a lot more because of this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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Exactly my situation. Next week is last week and I am due mid-August. Worked right up until due date last time and was so exhausted when I had the baby. Regretted it. So, this time I am taking time for myself and spending time alone with DD before I have to split my time. I'm not going back so it's not as though I am shortening my leave. If you are going back, you can always ask for more unpaid time off. Most employers would probably be willing to give an extra month or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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Yea.. mine is a little different. I am using PTO for the first 10 days and then I will be starting my short term disability.. It really sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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I'm 6 mos pg and trying to figure out how to take time before delivery. have changed jobs since my first baby and not too sure how it's going to work. what kind of leave are you taking? Short term dis? I would rather not shorten my leave on the back-end, so not sure how to juggle it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Holy Shit..when did pampers get so expensive? My dd has been out of them for 2 yrs now but $40 for a big box? wow 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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Can we talk about the cost of milk too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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op: oh I haven't even looked at the price of formula yet. Yikes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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they're made out of all sorts of oil related chemicals... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
[ - ] looking for cute new york yankees bedding (comforter, sheets, etc)to decorate our 2yr old son's room but the official mlb comforter is so ugly - any other ideas where to look??? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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Even though the yankees suck, I would check Target, Sports Authority, or Sears. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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I'd just go for a baseball them or blue and white pinstripes and decorate the rest of the room with yankees accessories [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] What's a kid-related thing to do in the Albany area, off of the NY State Thruway near Albany? Making a stop before crossing over into MA. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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Ugh, wait until you get to western Mass. Go to Tanglewood and run around on the grass!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 12:10 PM Flag
[ - ] For the first time I am genuinely, seriously worried about the state of the economy and think it is going to be really, really rough with lots of people losing jobs. What next? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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some new terrorist attack/threat in October (just in time to influence the election)? that's my guess. and may God forbid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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I think it is all a downward spiral for this country since 9/11. The very countries we blamed for 9/11 we now come panhandling to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:37 AM Flag
[ - ] What does your nanny do while dc is in camp all day? 64 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.16.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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i have no idea. we do drop off and she is off until she needs to do pick up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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Sit on her ass in a chair in the livingroom while I slam myself for fearing her too much to work up the nerve to ask her to do some damn housework already. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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why is she at your house when dc is in camp? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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np: where would you have her go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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I would have her not come till dc got home from camp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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But clearly there's an expectation that she does housework. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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not if OR did not ask her to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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Why should she do housework? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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You must be a nanny. Are you paid to sit on your ass all day too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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You sound disturbed. Get some help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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Again - you sound like a nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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np: I'm a mom and I refused to let my sitter to chores- that wasn't part of our deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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I pay my nanny to shop at The Gap with her friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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HA! Thank you for this. Really. Thank you. I pay mine to shop at Strawberry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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np: not a nanny but not everyone makes housework part of the job. we didn't, beyond the kids' laundry adn straightening their room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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Exactly. If I asked my nanny to do more than that I would expect to pay her more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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NANNY ALERT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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oh for the love of god, just b/c someone can understand that a nanny is not a maid does not actually make them a nanny themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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ita- this person seems to think being a nanny is something 'below' her or that these jobs are belittling and shameful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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why do you need an alert [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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np: because nannies post things on here that are inaccurate and then people get incorrect perceptions of reality based on these posts. For example, nanny salaries are routinely inflated on UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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Wouldn't the same be true for moms who employ nannies- ie posting momcentric innaccuracies that distort perceptions of reality? I would argue that some mothers and nannies share the same opinions and values [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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Not sure what your point is. Do you doubt that salary inflation happens on nanny salary polls on UB? Then clearly you have not reviewed these polls and compared them to real life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I don't believe there is a conspiracy of nannies posting inflated salaries to affect the field. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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It does not have to be a "conspiracy" to be a real phenomenon. It happens. It is fairly common UB knowledge not to trust salary polls (or any other skewed "statistic" garnered from UB polls) as the reference for setting a nanny salary. But, hey, if you think an anonymous message board is reality and want to use that to set a pay scale for your nanny, then go for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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I don't actually have a nanny and I view UB as a demographic, not a reflection of vast reality. I can't imagine why nannies would be on UB trying to up their salaries. This just seems absurd to me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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If a place existed where I could potentially increase my salary just by posting a poll and a few numbers, I would absolutely do it - UB, YBM, CL, etc. I applaud nannies for being resourceful and trying to do this. But I take the polls with a grain of salt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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Those wacky nannies- always trying to screw you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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as a FORMER nanny (now mom), you are absurd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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just hoping you don't have a nanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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DO IT. She shuold not "do nothing" all day. My nanny cleans--it is awesome. If yours won't do it, fire hire and hire one who WILL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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we have ours start at 3. why pay somebody to do nothing? there are tons of nannies who will work part time. we founds our on craigslist. she's 27, so sweet, kids love her and she works 20-25 hours week and gets to have a life of her own too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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^^and we pay somebody else $100/week to come once a week and clean our house. so much better to not mix the two. our nanny jsut cleans up kid stuff, toys, books, dishes, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I used to be your nanny (not really, but was like her before I graduated grad school, got a fulltime job, met dh, etc). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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when we hired our nanny our youngest was already in preschool and our older child in elementary, so we made it clear that the job involved all kinds of household duties, not just child care. But if that wasn't discussed when you hired her, you need to sit down and see if you can come to an understanding that works for everyone. But be prepared to hire someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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If I was a nanny, I would refuse to do non-child related cleaning. So demeaning and there's plenty of jobs available in the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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which is fine, but some nannies agree to do it, especially as kids get older, to keep a F/T job. Not everyone sees it as demeaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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How is cleaning demeaning? I clean everyday and don't feel demeaned at all- actually I like it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I think that it is safe to safe that most people don't enjoy it. Considering it takes a lot less skill to be a house cleaner than a really good nanny, I would say it is demeaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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safe to say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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I'm not saying that a nanny should be a housecleaner also- that is up to the employer/employee to work out. But cleaning in and of itself is not demeaning and there is some skill involved- some people are more efficient, thorough, and know lots of tips and tricks. Like with anything- cooking, writing, etc. Most people just do it because it is an aspect of life that is just there- you can chose to feel entitled and find it insulting or you can enjoy it and do a good job. That's how I see it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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So if someone asked to change your job description to include menial tasks that anyone can do, you wouldn't be insulted? I know that there can be great housekeepers, but that's not the nanny's job, and it's not like she's being asked to do it b/c she's so great at it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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if it meant i got to keep my job, and i preferred that to getting a new one, sure. my firm cut back on support staff so now i do a lot of admin/"menial" work in addition to my trained work. i didn't quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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yes, but job market for NYC nannies is pretty good. My only point is op risks loosing nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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and nanny risks losing job, eventually if not now. and really, is housework so much more "menial" thatn changing diapers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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if the market is so good, then job sites like Sittercity and criagslist would include many more jobs than sitters looking for work. this is not the case because the market is not as strong as you think. it may be easy for a super experienced and educated nanny to get a decent job, but for the average nanny it is not easy to get a high paying job with good hours and no housework. try posting yourself as an employer (or nanny) and see the results you get. having just been through this I am confident of what i'm saying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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I don't consider menial jobs to be insulting. If someone asked me, I would decide whether or not I wanted to do it and let the employer know. If the employer just 'told' me that now I am expected to do xyz, then I probably would be less happy than if we worked it out together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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np and MD. Our hospital cut back on janitorial services so the common areas (nursing stations, hallways, bathrooms, offices) are much less clean than they used to be. I chose to pitch in and try to clean up after myself and others more often. I did not quit. I understood that life changes and jobs sometimes include things that aren't "skilled" labor and aren't what I was trained for. That's life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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No it is not. If you want to continue to have the job with family once kids are in school you have to accept the housekeeper/babysitter combo. Otherwise you just find another nanny job. But a lot of nannies do prefer staying with the family even if it means job change. Some do not and they will change jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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I already have a job! I'm just saying that the employer and the employee have to agree on job duties- if the OP wants her nanny to start doing housecleaning, she has to ask her first, not think that the nanny will magically know that this is expected of her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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no one said the nanny should magically know. I was actually the one who posted above saying that we discussed the housekeeping responsibilities when our nanny was hired. I said the op needs to talk to her nanny, but be prepared to hire someone else, where this is discussed up front. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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How come my cleaning lady makes more an hour than my nanny does then? I live in Jersey and pay my nanny $15/hr for one child, and my house cleaner $60 for 2 1/2 hours to clean a 2 bed apt. Am I overpaying my house cleaner? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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why is housework demeaning? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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domestic workers will be hit hard in terms of job options and pay soon. as the economy worsens, that will be one of the first things people compromise on. this attitude will result in an unemployed nanny very soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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I don't really buy that argument [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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np-i do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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it's not really an argument to "buy" or not. It's fact. The economy is getting worse. Jobs in all areas are becoming harder to get and paying less. "Luxury" or nonessential jobs will suffer first. People who are not flexible with their job description are more expendable than those who are. Not sure what part is debatable for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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nanny is not a luxury job for most people, you need one to be able to work. If you are SAHM with nanny then yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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And many nannies work for SAHM. And many families have more childcare than they absolutely need. Thus, my original point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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I would never hire a nanny to be home while my dcs are out all day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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What if the kids are in camp for just few weeks? You will have hard time finding someone who will work part-time for 2 weeks and then full time the next two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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you suck it up and pay for f/t even though she isn't working f/t for two weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I think a mom needs to communicate open and honestly with her nanny. My nanny does housework and this was discussed when we hired her 4 years ago. She assumed more of those housework responsibilities over time without me asking and without a pay raise. The trade-off is that she gets to leave early if I come home from work early. Also ahe gets significantly more vacation time than was originally discussed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:19 AM Flag
[ - ] am i wrong? inlaws babysit on sat. nites approx 2x per month. they usually spend the day, sleep over, and generally invade my home. they are very considerate and generous but I don't need them at my house constantly - mil asked last week if she could come for the day and I said that we were busy, and that I work and have been traveling and really want to spend the day with the kids, she seemed put off, but just asked again for this weekend. I CAN"T TAKE IT!!!! wwyd? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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I'd be f'ing happy that I had a free babysitter and my kids had grandparents who want to be involved in their lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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If you don't want them spend time there, you need to pay for a different babysitter. Asking for babysitting and then not letting them spend time with the kids during the day is rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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GPs who offer to help are great, but they should understand that they're supplemental and you're the primary. it's your home and your kids. if you want to spend a particular weekend without GPs around, that's completely your prerogative. just make sure to emphasize that you appreciate everything they do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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I think they love their grandchildren. Have you talked about this with your dh? I am really missing the problem here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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I'd be thrilled to have free babysitting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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Wow. Free babysitting and you whine. Get over it or don't go out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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i'm confused. do you still want them to babysit at night, or are you saying you want the spend the weekend alone with the kids? If it's the latter, then I think your request is fine and legitimate. If the former, then I'd be put off too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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last weekend they babysat sat. nite and stayed until 2 on sunday, they initially wanted to bring other family members over sat. and have brunch with kis, i told them I had plans to take the kids to the pool on sat. and invited them to join if they wanted but was not keeping kids home for brunch. this coming weekend they are not babysitting, and are spending the following weekend at my house, but that was not enough they asked to come for the day this weekend. I think they are generous to help us, but also push the line. i think everyone on here is making me feel like an ogre, I guess I dont' need your advice, writing this out makes me feel stronly that I am in the right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I think if you get dug into a place of self-righteousness about this it could be very damaging to your family as a whole. People have different boundaries and different sense of what family means. You and your dh should talk together about this and come up with some boundaries that are comfortable for both of you and then he should communicate those to your ILs. They are not trying to get in your space - they are trying to get close. It is just being experienced by you as invasive. Both points of view are valid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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I think you just need to stop having them babysit and invite them to visit when it is convenient to for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone here that is 15 wks pg? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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I'm 14 wks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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how are you feeling? how much weight have you gained? have you heard the heartbeat??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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I haven't gained any weight in total, I lost a couple pounds and have now gained them back. Thankfully, morning sickness is over with, although supper tired still. I've had 2 u/s and heard heartbeat with both;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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really you have had 2 already? lucky! i have only had one. dang i am 15 wks as of yesterday and i have already gained 5-6 lbs :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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It's nice to have the early u/s but the only reason that they did it is b/c I was high risk (I had an ectopic last year). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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oh i see. so everything is good so far then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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yup;) Once they saw the baby in right place, I am no longer high risk. It was a huge relief. Then I got to have nuchal 2 weeks ago, which was a lot of fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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I'm 11 wks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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me too! have you been sick? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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yes! feeling nauseated since 6 weeks. this is #3 for me, and I'm hoping that by 13 wks I'll feel better (like w/#1). had my nuchal ultrasound today, and db looks cute, so I'm happy about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I had an ultrasound at 9 wks and db was so cute!! looked like a little gummy bear! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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what's your due date? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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Feb 3 how about yours? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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same! congratulations! what # is this for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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#1 congrats to you too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:51 AM Flag
[ - ] recommendations for a place/person to do a brazilian towards the end of pregnancy? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.16.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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J sisters on 57th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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Shobha on Madison and 57th - they are awesome. After they wax they use rosewater - I have never hurt after. When I used to go to J sisters it stung so bad afterward - never at Shobha - see Prima or Jasmine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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if you are uws, max wax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Red Door does a great job too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Hannah at Haven in Soho [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Edamame Maternity Spa in Destination Maternity on 57th. very mild wax with oils, and they will be cautious of vein issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:03 AM Flag
[ - ] im 26 wks pg w/#2 and ended up in hospital last night (everything is fine). i left the house with chicken in the oven and dh home with ds. tonight im going to see girlfriend in hospital who just gave birth. when dh asked if i was going tonight his reply was "so i guess im not getting dinner again tonight". im so furious. wwyd? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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tell him he is an adult and is therefore capable fo getting his own dinner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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that would piss me off. I would tell him he has 2 hands and can cook or order out. I'm 25 wk pg and was in the hospital on Sunday (everything is ok) and dh has been great since then. Don't let his annoying comment stress you out and don't give in either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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That would make me angry. Tell him he's capable of making his own dinner or dialing for it. He probably didn't mean it as badly as it sounded [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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tell him to order in and get used to it. you have another baby coming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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I'd give him my most beseeching Donna Reed look and say "Oh dear... I meant to keep cooking while I was in the EMERGENCY ROOM but they wouldn't let me. Some crazy rule about open flames around oxygen tanks." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 12:05 PM Flag
[ - ] How are the swimming lessons for preschoolers at the Chinatown YMCA? My DS is anxious that we will not be in the pool with him. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.16.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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not at that one but McBurney. My dd loved it there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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that is a great Y, I swim there, but the pool is very chlorinated and gives me a bad taste in my mouth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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Nice pool but extremely crowded sessions. a bit chaotic. one teacher is great but others are not so. One teacher kept throwing my kid in the pool (she had a floatie on but still just wanted to hang on to the wall). DD refused to go after that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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my DD has been anxious about swim lessons for this reason. we are going to asphalt green, since they have a class where parents start out in the pool and phase out. i have my fingers crossed, but it's certainly lessened her anxiety about the whole enterprise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Thanks! We'll look into Asphalt Green instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:26 AM Flag
[ - ] i have 2 dc - older dc is in program all day so day is a lot easier, but i feel like nanny does less now than ever. i am not home. WWYD? looking for tactful approach also - when i do call her cell she seems to be on it all the time and does not answer - usually returns my call later. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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I would give her a more structured outline of how i want the day to go or things I'd like then to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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this doesn't make sense. there are tons of nannies with just one. and the day isn't easier. she might keep her phone off for periods so that she could spend quality time with DC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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np: how is the work not easier if you have 1 dc instead of 2? Sure the hours are teh same, but there is only one dc's needs to manage. As a mom, my day is much harder with 2 than 1, 3 than 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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fine. but it's still hard--that's the point. I think OP is thinking she shouldn't have to pay so much now that 1 dc is in school part of the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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op here --never said anything about less pay at all. just want baby stimulated as much as possible - and day is A LOT easier with one. older dc is high maint. other is infant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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nnp: Not necessarily. If your kids play together, it's easier with both of them. If one of my kids is somewhere I need to entertain the other one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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ita! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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not to be rude, but if you aren't willing to stay home with your child even though it is so "easy" you can't really complain about having to pay someone else to do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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staying home is not an option financially - wish it was! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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