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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] wow is my 1.5 the only one who watches 1-2 hours of tv a day? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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of course not. Most people here have their pants on fire [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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i do think that sounds like a lot for such a young child. my 5 y.o. watches that much but her 2.5 y.o. sister doesn't even sit through half of that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:09 PM Flag
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does the dc sit and watch or is the tv on while she plays [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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mine certainly doesn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:11 PM Flag
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Do you have a nanny? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:30 PM Flag
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no, I'm a sahm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:31 PM Flag
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Good for you. Why not any TV though. I love the Leap Frog learning letters DVD's, dd loves the wiggles and sesame streetis always a hit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:35 PM Flag
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b/c all the studies show that there is no benefit or it is harmful before age 2... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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tv watching at this age has a very high correlation to ADD later on... There's no evidence that there is any difference between "educational programing" and other shows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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it is not high and this is so not true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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it is true and it is one of the reasons that pediatricians don't recommend it until at least age 2.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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At that age #1 watched no tv -- at least not of his own. He'd watch the Yankees with me or -- for a while -- South Park. #2 watched some of brother's shows at that age but didn't get into them until he was a bit older. We try and keep to the 1 hour per day rule, but for movie night or crappy days that goes out the window. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:25 PM Flag
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Mine does. My 16mo dd loves the movie Hairspray how funny is that. She hears the music and is mesmerized. (the new hairspray with John Travolta) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:28 PM Flag
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mine did and now she's 2 and still does [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:32 PM Flag
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mine does too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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I'm not anti-TV, but that's a lot of TV for one so little. I would cut her down to one show a day unless there's something else going on, like yucky weather or a tired / sick / burned-out mommy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:16 PM Flag
[ - ] my 2 y.o. is completely obsessed with bdays - i think b/c her older siblings both had bdays within the past month. it's really cute but it's a long time until she has her own bday in feb. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:03 PM Flag
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dd told us "my birthday is coming up" every day from the time she was 3 yrs 2 mo until she finally had her 4th bday. i was amazed when it all stopped completely as soon as she had the party she wanted. which, btw, was something very fun and simple. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] had Ambien sex with DH last night. I vagauely remember him saying "Oh shit. Ambien sex" but then he started chuckling... I think I must have been fantastic ! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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curious - do you guys sleep with your door closed and locked? i miss middle of the night sex but on the rare nights i wake up and consider it, i don't b/c our door is wide open and i'm usually back asleep before i've finished the thought that i need to shut the door. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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Not locked and open just a smidge when we sleep, but it wasn't like I feel asleep and woke up. I never fell aslepp before I attacked, so I suppose this was at about midnight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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I've had that too. Can't really remember it the next day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:46 PM Flag
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love it ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:53 PM Flag
[ - ] If your 1.5 is toddler #2, how much tv a day does he/she watch? My dd 1-2 hours a day 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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for mine it was zip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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Even when sick with a high temp? Wow. You are a super mom! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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if she was that sick, she wanted to sleep or to snuggle, maybe read a book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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My 2.7yo watches no tv. We don't have one. He does watch cartoons on the internet though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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I never let my ds as a toddler he didn't seem interested. now he is three and I let him watch it sometimes 1/2 sometimes 3 depends on what we are doing. I've decided there are worst things in the world then watching t.v. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] how long will this bleeding/cramping last?? got IUD almost a month ago! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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Girlfriend had hers removed because it didn't go away after a few months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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i don't know but 3 people have told me that they spent their first month thinkin "what have i done?!" but a few months later were sooo happy with their IUDs. so, hopefully the bad part will be over very soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm in such a bad mood. Bad day. Fight with dh this morning that my dad overheard and begged dh not to leave me. Rest of the day off kilter. Lots of frustration with detail type things i have to get done. Hardly got any work done today at all. And I'm feeling all gross and bloated. ALl in all, not my finest day. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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Don't be so hard on yourself. All couples fight. It's too bad that your dad overheard, but he's been in a relationship before and should understand. (It's interesting that he begged your dh though.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:55 PM Flag
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yep. i know. i think he's just projecting his feelings abt my mom. he told dh that our dd needs two parents etc etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Recycling question - Do you put glass, plastic, aluminum out in the same bag - or do they need to be in separate bags? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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All one bag in NYC (milk cartons go in that bag too, not with paper) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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in NYC, same receptacle. (I put them right in the pail. No bag.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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my building has marked containers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:29 PM Flag
[ - ] I was on here a week or so ago, watched some posts and just read the responses today. Wow!! Some people can be so bitter and angry. To the point of sounding completely off kilter. They totally misunderstood the point of the post and just vented all their issues. (fwiw, i'm not upset about this at all. more amused than anything else) 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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which posts were you watching? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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i posted abt how people think we have no money and feel bad for us, but we're actually fine. and someone replied something along the lines of how I am bragging about all my money and that i'm horirbly insensitive. but the post really sounded like the person was ranting and totally off her meds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:56 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone else think that "5 week termination" post is BS ? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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not at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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I think it might be a fake to get everyone responding. At five weeks, most people have only learned they were pregnant a week or two ago. That's a quick decision for something so huge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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i don't think so. there have definitely been times in my life when i knew i would terminate, no questions asked. i'd have been on the phone to the clinic before the stick dried. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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np ITA - totally doable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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It seemed so cut and dried for a married mother of two. I don't recall her saying she had any issues other than money. I am totally pro-choice and have no issue morally with abortion, I thought it was just a bit too... something... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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bs or not - i wish people would realize it was from yesterday and move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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why? It's a valid topic of discussion - fake or not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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i like the immediacy of UB. hate it when people are continuing to rehash a topic long after OP has moved on. just my opinion. obviously, if other want to debate something from days ago, that's their perogative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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I hope so [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you have another child if you only had a two bedroom condo? They are both master suits and the condo is 1300 sq ft. Trying to decide if we need to move mow or later. I wouldn't want to try and sell now we could probably rent it out and buy a bigger place but it would financially be tight. Anyone btdt? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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^^my dd is 16months. (only 1 child currently) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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If I wanted more children, I would have them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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Yeah, not worry about the space until later then? I guess I have a different opinion on space and rooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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my dds share an 11x11 room and it works out find. their sis has an identically sized room to herself. they all share the same bathroom. though, dh and i have our own. none of it has been a problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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Just curious where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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outside of atlanta - why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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Sorry had to run to a meeting. I am from OC and I have never had to share a room (only in college freshman year). Just thought this was not typical (sharing rooms). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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It's just that looking back years from now, I would never want to say that I truly wished that I had one more, but didn't because of the size of my condo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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Yeah you are right. I want them to be close in age. My sis and i are 10 years apart close now but not so much growing up. I dont want that for my dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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If you have a child of the same sex you never need to move. That is a big two bedroom. Our three bedroom is smaller than that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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we have 2 dc (1 dd and 1 ds). They're 3 and 5 and share a 11x12 room (1000 square foot apartment) and it has never been an issue (after younger one started sleeping through the night). At some point we'll have to move, but I wouldn't let living in a 1300 square foot 2 bedroom stop me from having 2 dc. You may need to move in 5 or so years and many people never move and their kids share bedrooms forever (obviously easier if they're both the same gender). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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Thanks I appreciate your advice and perspective [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:21 PM Flag
[ - ] DH does a big charity even each year to raise money for camp Twin Lakes in Atlanta where terminally and chronically ill children can go to camp. Our DC are pretty spoiled and entitled (another post altogether) and I think it is a good idea for them to go tomorrow, help out, and see that life is much different for many children. MIL thinks it's an insane idea. DC are 9 and &. what do you say ? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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^^ oops. Children are 9 and 7 and it is a charity "event" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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I think it's a great idea. I would have them help out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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they can help write tallies on the board to mark how much is donated, help in the cafeteria with lunch time, pass out towels at the pool. Yes, they will certainly be able to help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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that is a wonderful idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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thank you. I usually agree with MIL on these sort of issues, but she thinks it will be terribly upsetting and scar the children mentally to see other very ill children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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what does mil disagree with? exposing your kids to the idea that there are sick kids or making them help with something they didn't ask to help with? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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she thinks seeing the kids with IV's or without hair from chemo or generally weak will be traumatizing and I can teach the lesson in a different way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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np. It might be shocking to them but I'm pretty sure not traumatizing. If they get to see these kids enjoying themselves despite their problems will be a valuable lesson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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OP good perspective. Thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 03:03 PM Flag
[ - ] what pharmacy do you get your fertility meds from? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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TTC 07.16.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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I don't get fertility meds myself, but my pharmacy Apthorp Pharmacy seems really big on this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] posted before about neighbor cutting down my tree. i saw them cutting it down on my property and when the cop came he said i couldn't file trespassing charges because HE didn't see them on my property. is this true??? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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Doesn't sound right to me but who knows! Surely the fact that the tree is down is evidence enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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if trespass is only a violation, not a misdemeanor, he may be correct. but i'm not goign to take the time to look it up now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Do you have the name of the company that cut down the tree? I would call them directly and tell them what happened. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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do yourself a favor and call a lawyer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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hate answers like this. then shouldn't everyone here call a lawyer or a doctor or a therapist etc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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np: I would think OR meant call a lawyer and sue neighbor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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You can go after them for damages. Did you take pictures? (If not take them now!) Oh and what kind of douchebag comes on their neighbors property and cuts down the neighbor's tree? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] do you ever feel guilty for working full time? Pg with #1 and wondering if I should go back to work or not. Also if you do work full time do you get jealous if your dc are close with the nanny? 42 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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I work full time and I do not feel guilty at all. We did not have a nanny. Our kids went to a school where we could monitor them from our office (or any) computer with a secret code. Both of our children are well adjusted, friendly, and smart. No regrets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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what kind of school lets u do that? where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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It's in Queens. It's available in the rooms with the babies in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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can you post the name? I live in queens and I would be interested in checking it out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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but didn't you feel guilty that the school had a large part in raising them. it is just a friend of mine that works full time is really only home with the kids for dinners and bed time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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and the dad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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We do A LOT of things together with our children on the weekends. We also supervise their homework each night...talk about what they are learning, their friends, teachers, etc. We eat dinner as a family -- that is non-negotiable. We also do a lot of things together like cooking in the evening, gardening, etc. I believe that all of this is real quality time. We both have to work so we made the best of it and my family has developed a routine so that it all works out for all of us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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that sounds awesome! I definitely think if you put that effort there it can be done. Some people just don't put up any effort, you know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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We decided to set certain limits and I am glad that we did. I have turned down several job promotions because they would have taken up just about all of my weekend and evening time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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I am you. I have said this before and got flamed. I think it is important to enjoy your kids while they are still little. I have no problem coming in at 7 and leaving at 3:30-4pm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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np: I'm a SAHM (for now), and I always cringe when people imply that WOHM's are not "raising" their kids. The other thing is that you can be a SAHM and not put in the effort either. It goes both ways. You can be a fantastic SAHM, or a crappy one. You can be a WOHM who makes the most of her time with kids (more time than crappy SAHM) or you can be a crappy WOHM who spends no time with kids (less time than a SAHM). It's all a matter of person, not whether they SAH or WOH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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ITA. This is the rub. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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np- you'll make your choice, but it's simply not true that the school "raises" them-- the daycare you chose is important, no doubt. it's a place where they spend time, make friends, have relationships, and hopefully be loved and well cared for, etc. but you and your husband will raise your child- whether you're home full time, work full time, or something in between. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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the misconception that children are best raised exclusively by their mother is rather unfortunate and also a fairly "new" idea. I'm a big believer in the whole "village" concept. As long as the village is on the same page with the parents philosophically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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np: sadly though at daycare the "village" includes other children being raised by different parents with different parenting lifestyles... most children I have seen that go to daycare are more likely to hit/push/kick/bite other kids and act out for attention. I think it is from having to fend for themselves among all the other children at daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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putting aside your ideas about why kids push -- your childrne wil always be dealing with kids form different backgrounds. daycare, school, the playground. the issue is more the values and conduct of the caregivers than the otehr kids. and their expectations for the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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ita... but usually not until they are older and understand more what rules are. for me my kids aren't around people with different backgrounds from the time they are 3 months old 40 plus hours a week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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It really depends on the daycare. I posted above about my children going to one. I knew all of the parents in my children's classes. We had meetings together, playdates, etc. We chose the place very carefully. There were others we could have selected for far less money, but we liked this one the best because of the quality of care, attitudes of the employees, and the other families that were there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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^^^I meant to also add...It's not that children did not ever push each other or have squabbles...it's just that when they did the caretakers and the involved parents handled it in a way that I really liked. Once my own son scratched a girl on her arm. I gave my phone # to the caretaker to give to the other parent who called me the next day. We spoke for a few minutes about it. I really liked that. There will be incidents, but how they are handled is important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:45 PM Flag
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that is even better! there are so many day care centers out there that the caretakers won't even notice... scary!!! you sound like you have found the ideal place! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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new poster, but I have the same situation. My dd's daycare is amazing, they are also family friends so it makes it even better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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It was very good. My children are no longer there because of their ages, but I have recommended it to many people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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that is really neat that your daycare does that. i think it is important for all the parents to be super involved and not just drop your kids off hoping that everything will just work out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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i feel more guilty now that dc is older and asks me to do something that i can't do bc of work - like pick him up at preschool. when he was a baby, i missed him, but never felt guilty (although i worked 4 days then). not at all jealous of his relationship with nanny, in fact, i'm happy they are close. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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no and no. now, luckily i have a very flexible schedule and i love my job. but i am gald to work, adn i am glad my kids have a good relationship with their nanny. let me note that almost nobody asks fathers if they feel guilty for working f/t, or more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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ita! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Yes and no. guilty when work intrudes on my weekends, but I know I am a better person by being true to myself and not pretending to be a SAHM when I am not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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that is so important, you must be true to yourself to be a good mom in the first place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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As a former nanny, I will say that there was jealousy with 2 of my former employees, when I would leave to go home their dc would cry and wouldn't go to their mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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not at all guilty. i had a hard time juggling things, but didn't feel guilty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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Your kids are young once---why not nurture them and your relationship with them and start work when they are a bit older? No one ever died wishing they had spent for time at the office. Sorry--sad but true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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NP. I think for some people financial considerations come into play. When they are young IMO is the time other people can meet their needs. When they are tweens and have homework and complicated issues and no job will let you see them after school until dinner, maybe that's the time not to work. If you can pick... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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i think mozart probably died wishing he'd had more time to work. personally, now that my kids are older, i think being home when they are infants is a lot less importatn to "raising" them than the later years. You can nurture your relationship and work jsut fine -- its what most parents do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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I have to disagree with that one. Many SAHMs felt like they were worthless and had no identity when they had no choice but to stay home. While they may not have died wishing they had spent more time at the office, they may have regretted devoting the best part of their lives to other people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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Why not get a nanny that can nurture your child while they are babies and then quit work later when your kids will really remember that you stayed home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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I would strongly advise you to force yourself to go back to work for at least a few months. You can ALWAYS quit. I definitely sometimes do feel guilty and have mixed feelings, but I would also have mixed feelings about SAHM FT and not bringing in any income. My DD goes to daycare and in the morning she runs into daycare and doesn't say good-bye to me unless they make her and this makes me happy. I dropped to 4 days, and I feel like the balance is better. I also feel less guilty knowing b/c I am saving $ now and making more contacts I will only have more flexibility to be with my kids when they are older and might need me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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did at first, but then saw how much fun she was having at school and got over it fast. Having a really good caregiver is key. Honestly, she's better off there. They have a lot of fun and do such cool stuff I could never do (she's 2 now) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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np: I did not read all the posts but I can tell you that I have a 4 month old and am lucky enough to have a 6 month maternity leave. You won't be able to decide what you want til you are home w/the baby, it is such a different life. For me, I'd ideally like a part time job to get the best of noth but my current position won't allow that. I know I will feel guilty going to work but I know that I will still get a decent amount of time with her. I am interviewing nannies now and it makes me sad to think I will leave her with someone all day. Again, you really have to get into the situation to feel what is right. AND having a newborn vs now my 4 month old is SOOOO different. With my newborn I wanted to run back to work it was so tough but now at 4 months with her laughing and smiling all the time it is so different, GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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So many women feel good going back to work, newborns can be very very tough! I have an advanced degree, had an amazing job, and suprised myself by wanting to be a SAHM. Completely shocked myself, seriously. Db is now 9 mo old and I just can't imagine going back, although finances will force me to very very soon. I am devestated but it is just life for me right now. Full time working mommies who are happy are good mommies, you have to do what feels right, if your finances allow you to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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Don't make any decisions now; just get as long of a maternity leave as you can. At 4 months I was not ready to go back; at 6 months I was. Then after working for 4 months, I decided that FT was too much for me and I wasn't getting enough time with dc. I left my company and am now talking to them about a part-time arrangement which I think will be great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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My dd is 4 months old and I work full time because I HAVE to. Every day I feel guilty about leaving her and every day I hate my job more and more. I wish I was could stay at home with her. No one will take care of your baby the way you would and I wish I could afford it financially. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:31 AM Flag
[ - ] confession and vent. i miscarried a little while ago and i'm getting to the end of my doctor-mandated waiting period before ttc'ing again. i think it's creating a lot of emotional upheaval in me. my good friend is expecting and i'm sorry to say that i'm jealous. and i'm so mad at the poster from yesterday who was planning on aborting. i realize i'm overly sensitive now, but it's really hard for me. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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just like you want sensitivity to your situation, youhave to have sensitivity to tohers. Sometimes things arent fair - but you dont know what her life is like. concentrate on you and do unto others... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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All your feelings sound normal. I hope you have lots of luck with you next pg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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It is understandable for you to feel the way that you do. Don't be so hard on yourself. Be sure to give yourself enough time before TTC again. I truly wish you all the best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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thank you. i think i'm a little blindsided by all the emotions i'm having now. even though i should've realized i'd be going through this again when preparing to ttc again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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Try to do something special for yourself...really special. You deserve it. And please do not feel guilty when some of those emotions creep up on you. I had a miscarriage almost 10 years ago. It was my first pregnancy. I found that talking about it to someone was helpful...especially someone who did NOT say, "Well you can have more." I spoke to a counselor from the Pregnancy Loss Support Group that was run by the National Association of Jewish Women. (I am not Jewish and you do not have to be to receive support.) I just found it good to be able to "get it all out" with someone who understood what I was feeling and didn't respond with trite statements. Like I said, I truly wish the best for you and PLEASE do not be hard on yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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I miscarried a couple of years ago and I felt the same way. I was so sad and kind of mad that here I am desperately wanting a baby, and don't have one and then there are people that don't want one and can get pregnant and not miscarry so easily. Just focus on yourself and it will happen for you soon! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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thanks very much. i thought i was over it but i see that i'm still a mess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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