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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] help, DS was fully potty trained for day around 3y4mo, but still not for night, we use an overnight diaper and still always pretty full, now i'm wondering if it is bc he has the diaper on he knows he doesn't need to go to potty and I'm afraid the habit will set in, he just turned 4 and the other night i tried no diaper and he had an accident, advice pls 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.18.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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my dd was in apull=up at night until she was 5. she just gave it up on her own. She was day trianed at 2 - not kidding. Doctor said it just takes some kids longer. I tried limiting water, taking her to the bathroom before I went to bed. She did it when she was ready. My 4 yo dd now also is still in pull-up at night and has been day trained since 2.5 - doc said it is not an issue until they are 6. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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thanks, that gives me hope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Nothing to worry about--my ped said even if day trained much earlier, not unusual for boys to take much longer night training--even to age 6 is not that unusual. Just limit after dinner drinks to needed water and make sure he pees before bed. It worked for us when my son was ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:41 AM Flag
[ - ] my baby isself weaning - do I have to call the dr before giving him formula 100% of the time? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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No as long as you are happy with the amount to give. Is your dc around 7mo? If so they often loose interest around that age as they are too interested in what is going on around them to concentrate on feeding. If you don't want to wean then stick at it and try to do it in a quiet place. If you are happy to wean then go for it but do it slowly you don't get pain! GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Did you pick your dc's school because the program, the curriculum, the style, the community, the reputation, etc. fit your ideal of the person you want your dc to be, or because it was a fit for who your dc is? Be honest. discuss. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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We picked it because it's our local public school and it's good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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same. though we could have commuted for g&t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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We didn't pick - they picked us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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Most of the above. The atmosphere of the school (warm and open, lots of parental involvement), the quality of the teachers, the quality of the academic experience, flexibility for learning differences. It is a great fit for our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:24 AM Flag
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because it was the best fit for dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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We got lucky, DC tested in to a great districtwide G&T which is close to our apt that has so far proven to be a perfect fit (going into 3rd grade). DC probably would've done fine most anywhere, but this school seems to be particularly right for who he is and who we are and what we wanted for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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Community was the first filter I used to see if it's racially diverse which is IMP to us. Then, Philosophy: coed and progressive. Then the reputation of academic rigor and the kind of kids who are there (sounded like my dc would fit in, or that at other schools, dc might not fit in). Of course, there were some negative buzz I heard also, but the positives outweighed (the stuff I saw and felt for myself) whatever rumor I heard here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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It was the one she got into. But I think she got in there because it is a good fit for her. These things have a way of working out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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It was not my first - it was dh's first choice and it fits my son perfectly. Had nothing to do with us (but we love it) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:31 AM Flag
[ - ] FT WOHM here. I am having a work dilemma and would like advice. Have 1 DS and want to TTC soon. Recently switched to a department in my co. (been here 4+ years)that I really like, but am not feeling challenged/involved enough. I have repeatedly told them I want to do more - but I feel like there is a colleague (not supervisor) who is running the show and not giving me the training or opportunities I need to be happy here. No one stands up to her. Am starting to interview elsewhere and getting good responses, but not sure if this is a bad idea or not - really liked one person who interviewed me, really disliked the supervisor...what should I do? Is there a way to "fix" the situation here? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.18.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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How about staying put until pg if you can stick it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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agree with that...then take leave and come back then look. you are usually not entitled to mat leave if you are not with the co for less than a year - wven with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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This is not necessarily true - you are not eligible for FMLA but most large companies have mat leave benefits that go above and beyond FMLA (signed mom who switched jobs at 8 weeks pg, w/ sister who switched at 10 weeks pg - both of us qualified for full leave benefits) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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are you glad you switched jobs while PG? Can I ask what kind of job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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I'm very glad - I switch from a mgmt consulting firm with 80+ hours/week and 30-50% travel to a much more stable lifestyle job. I was nervous about telling my new boss but when I interviewed, I wasn't pg - I just ended up started almost 2 months after I interviewed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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Yeah my fear is new job would be even more hours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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then again, lots of companies have no maternity benefits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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I can't go by that one opportunity, but I would continue to look a little bit maybe. I got stuck when preg with # 1 and really regret ever doing that. I got a new job during my leave and it was actually good to start with new groundrules/hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:21 AM Flag
[ - ] I shaved my pussy and my husband can't get enough. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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Alrighty then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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ONE OF MY COWORKERS JUST SAW THIS POST ON MY SCREEN - YOU PERV! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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so what. Why are you on this site instead of working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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LOL! Serves you right for UBing at work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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oh please - you people are on UB while at work - don't be so self rightous. Better to be on it while at work instead of while you baby plays on the ground next to you - which if your not at work is probably what is going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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LMAO! You are just a lovely person. I wasn't flaming you. Just making a point. I'm sure with that attitude, your co workers all love you anyway. Have a great day! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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If you shaved maybe you would get some and not be so uptight [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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snort! Mean, but funny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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PSA: a dad here- I've never refused "some" because the bushes needed trimming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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you are whipped [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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who's uptight? - we had a good laugh about it - but still perverted to put on the site. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:54 AM Flag
[ - ] If your child is in private, can you please tell me whether they teach proper spelling starting in 1st grade or do they use inventive spelling? if so, which private? I am very worried that our local public school teaches inventive spelling. The principal said that was the case across the DOE schools and when I raised my concern (a large number of kids pretty much never learn to spell properly using this method), her answer was "well, all computers have spell-check". 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.18.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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Most schools don't start proper spelling until second grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:31 AM Flag
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I don't think any school 'teaches' inventive spelling. It is encouraged in K as otherwise kids would never write anything. However, even then they had a number of words they were taught and expected to spell correctly. In first grade, they have spelling tests every week and the number of words they are expected to spell correctly is growing rapidly. They are encouraged to look up a word before spelling it rather than misspelling if they don't know. And they have spelling bees, too. This was our public in first grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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OMG - i would be outright infuriated. This is total BS. Yes, my dd who is in kindergarten (private) learned spelling all year (spelling tests etc.) - is a great speller. sounds really wierd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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Yikes. Your dc's school sounds so rigid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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OP: do you mind saying which private? I am wondering whether the more traditional pricate schools do a better job with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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it's Long Island School for the Gifted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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Oh, how do you like it? Where do kids go after 8th grade? BTW, thought about buying a home in Huntington and sending dc there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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we moved here (huntington) 3.5 yrs ago. LISG is very good and very annoying on some levels. kids love it - but they are very odd to parents. the program is great if your kid is really an accelerated learner - my dd is about 2 yrs ahead - so for her its been a dream. she works at her pace, sometimes is even challenged. and being aorund kids like her actually makes her feel very very normal - not like she sticks out (which was case in old school). i like that. i was afraid she would get a big "better than" complex, because she was so clearly advanced for her age (academically). BTW - I LOVE where we live, you have to know where to look in Huntington- its an incredible lifestyle...beaches, restaurants, even cultural events..just adore it here (and this is from someone who live in NY almost 16yrs BTW) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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My parents live very close to Huntington and LISG's tuition is so attractive. Dc got 99th percentile on Stanford Binet 5 and ERB (which I understand is not a full IQ test) when she took it last year. Does that qualify? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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they wanted WISC when we started...but that was in pre-k..we have been there 2 yrs...its a great place for gifted kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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--also, yes ERB would not qualify..they also preferred wisc over stanford from what i reca;ll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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but ironically you aren't a great speller :) (it's weird) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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LOL. no i'm not - what did i not spell right now :)? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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we are in westchester public and they just encourage kids to write. Formal spelling doesn't happen until 2nd grade I think. My dd is going into 2nd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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From what I understand, kids use inventive spelling in K or even a part of 1st grade, and when kids can read, they learn to spell correctly. I think inventive spelling helps the early readers/non readers with phonomic awareness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Unless the school pushes proper spelling (whether in 1st or may be 2nd grade) with practice, tests, it will not fall into place for many kids. If inventive spelling is still accepted in 3rd or 4th grade, you run in real trouble. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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NO school accepted inventive spelling by 3rd or 4th. By 1st or 2nd grade, all schools teach proper spelling but it's linked to reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Looks like our local public on the UWS does. They said that they let it "fall into place". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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3rd or 4th? Wow. That's weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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westschester mom from above - this is my experience. reading and writing are so closely related at this age - as they learn to read properly and become more experienced with reading, they learn to spell and use punctuation properly. in the meantime, encouraging them to write (not constantly correcting their spelling) is so important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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ITA. In schools that use "balanced literacy," inventive spelling is where they learn awareness of the sounds letters make, through trial and error. It was hard for me not to correct spelling errors in K and 1st, but teachers pointed out that it's good to encourage kids to sound out words in their heads and write them down without fear of doing it wrong. I was suspicious, but it works for mine and most. In 2nd grade, they got serious about spelling. In 3rd, they get REALLY serious. But by then kids have built confidence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Inventive spelling at brearley until dcs are older. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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how old? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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3rd 4th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Well, given the TEACHER at my dc's tt wrote and posted something like "The dog carried *it's* bone" on the bulletin board, I really don't know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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dalton? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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Probably Friends. They have spelling tests also but not till third grade and still don't make a big deal about spelling except on the tests. They feel kids should be creative with their writing and then worry about spelling later. Think it would have been better to get use to spelling correctly when possible. imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:22 AM Flag
[ - ] my DS is only a 1 yo, so I know nothing about Miley Cyrus but I am watching her on GMA. Not sure what to make of her as a teen idol. But she can't sing very well. At least Hillary Duff could sing. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:49 AM Flag
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i have a 9 yo DD. I can't stand Miley Cyrus. How old does she look on GMA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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a lot older than 15. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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that's what I hate about her. it provides lots of opportunities to talk about image with DD. And what the wrong image can do. Of course, DD also sees that she's a tv star and pop star and kajillionaire so unfortunately the only downside in her eyes appears to be that mom doesn't like her. Ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:59 AM Flag
[ - ] Where do we go from here? 3.4 y/o ds refuses anythng to do with potty training. We've tried potty treats (toys) and he's still not interested. He won't pick out underwear ("I wear diapers"). Is it cruel to force him go around the house either wihout a diaper or in underwear for part of a day. We're at a loss. At what point/age do you force it or is there something else we should be doing. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.18.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I have totoally BTDT. My oldest was so resitant to potty training. We tried when he was younger--when all my friends' kids were training easily--and he totally refused. Finally, at exactly 4, we had the diaper fairy come & went cold turkey. The pee part got resolved very quickly--one accident then totally dry, night & day. Poop was another story. He held it for days. We finally got it worked out. A few things that helped--we had a surprise box w/ a different small toy in it. Every time he sat on the potty he could play w/ that (but only on the potty). We talked about letting the poops swim free in the pipes & not get all mushed up (sorry, gross). We looked at pictures of plumbing & talked about that. If he had an accident he had to clean it up himself. He was never, ever interested in treats or stickers or rewards, so those didn't work. Then DD came along & potty trained in the easiest possible way at 2--so I felt like less of a failure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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Just went through this with my dd at the same age. She would go around all day w/out a pullup then have to go and would only go in a pullup. I told her no more pullups and I physically had to place her on the potty. We had two really rough days. We just fought it out. She demanded pullups and I just kept placing her on the potty. SHe was afraid she was going to fall in, but once she got the hang of it, she has been great. Going on 3 weeks now. Just be tough. NO MORE pullups [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Do Louis Vuitton handbags ever go on sale? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:46 AM Flag
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yes -- every day on Canal Street you can get some great deals! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I mean the authentic ones -- sold by the LV store. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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I don't understand what you mean. Authentic? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Somebody give me some strength. Have a resistant 3.5yo in underwear for almost a week now. He just pees on himself, calls me to clean it up and goes on with life. I've been advised not to put pressure on him, but just let him be responsible for his own clean up, etc. He just goes, and if I don't clean him up he takes his dirty underwear and puts them in the laundry and runs around naked. He has a 6 mo sibling, so we assume this may be the problem, but I can't take it much longer. He has to be trained by September for UPK. I originally started training him around 2 years old and back then, he would sit on teh toilet and try. As soon as i became pregnant he regressed badly. Ugh. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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I can't help as not btdt but can sympathize with the regression. My 2.7yo has started crawling, saying Mama mama and wanting to lie down in the crib. He has never liked is baby brother but this has only just started and #2 is 9mo. GL to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:40 AM Flag
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Hang in there. My DS was fully potty trained at 2.5 yrs and then when his little brother was born, he was fine until the little one was about 3 months old, then FULL regression. I too was very frustrated, but hang in there and hold your ground! Mine still has accidents at 5 and is in a night time pull up (more for laziness I think than actual inability to get up and pee). Some people have had luck with the "commando" method, letting him stay pants-less all day at home so he will hopefully pee in the potty and not the floor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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they sell training pants that are the cloth diaper version of pullups. They have plastic on the outside, so pee doesn't escape, but cloth inside so he feels wet. The best thing is, they look ridiculous. So, get these and tell him he has to wear them until he gets the hang of it and can wear "big boy" underwear. Better if the big boy underwear has his favorite character on them. I just went through this with my 3.5 year old and you won't believe the inspiration of superman!! LOL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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Np - where do you get them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.31.08, 03:32 AM Flag
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We had similar timing on new baby and potty regression. Ultimately, ds did not get the potty training until 4 1/2! We really didn't force it (we were lucky, daycare was very understanding - older ds we adopted and younger ds bio, so we think there were some even greater issues there) It sucked but now that he is 5 he's on track and everything else is falling into place, he swims, rides 2 wheeler and is about to read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:17 AM Flag
[ - ] please help me list reasons in favor of putting my 2yo dd in daycare (full time) while i work. i have been a sahm since she was born and she has been in daycare off and on 2-3 hours at a time. i feel really guilty. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:20 AM Flag
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Does she seem to enjoy it? It will obviously give you more free time. Are you going back to work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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I don't do guilt. When I need to make a decision - I list pros and cons and decide and then get on with it. Guilt is silly. And nothing in life is 100% good (or bad) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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ita- what is the benefit of guilt in this situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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Is she an adaptable kid? Will she enjoy daycare and eat well and and nap well? If she's safe there, healthy and thriving then there's no debate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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np, lol - there is and always will be debate on this one! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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are you going back to work full time? you should plan in extra sick days at first, because she'll pick up everything -- but ultimately that's good for her immune system. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:46 AM Flag
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My 2 yo is very happy at day care. She is there part time and loves playing with her friends and all of the activities. I like that she gets the social interaction. I also love it now since she is talking and tells me everything that goes on during the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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Providing for your dd sometimes involves money for college, your own retirement, etc. And if you WOHM now and save $ you will have more flexibility when she is older and more aware. If you SAHM it is not necessariy better for her in the long run. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:25 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm sure this is a crap shot, but any chance we could still take the G&T spot we turned down? We realy thoguht this market would turn around and now we seem to be royally f*#d. 64 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.18.08, 05:00 AM Flag
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You have to think long term...we wil have a tough year, but we ar enot pulling dcs from their private school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:08 AM Flag
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NP - and thinking long term is why we did pull dc from private to go G&T this year. Its going to be a long bad few years for the economy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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I think as you turned it down it will have been reallocated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:19 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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i hate to be a debbie downer, but the answer is no. we checked with nicky rosen and she basically said if there was even a slight chance you might take the spot, you should take it and then change your mind later because the deadline was very firm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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any chance you could get fa (or more fa) at this point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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No we don't qualify for FA. We'll just have to make some serious lifestyle adjustmets to afford private now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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it must be stressful, but things will turn around. is your zoned school not an option? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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it would be an option if we honestly had no other choice, but it's not a great option so I have to take the "no vacation" lifestyle over gen ed. In other words, we'll be fine just "education poor". Bhut I can't send DD to a mediocre gen ed just to salvage the perks in my own life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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the other option is to do public for a year (kindergarten is pretty much the same anywhere imo) and then try again for g&t. or do private for a year and do the same. if dd qualified once, she may qualify again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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yikes. i'm sorry. we had toyed with the idea of applying to privates but thought it would be a stretch. i since lost my job and now we're so glad we didn't do it. agree you should ask the school about the possibility of fa. a couple of years ago a friend of mine was downsized and the school was very sympathetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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OP: We won't get FA. DH still makes more than most people. We justs have to adjust our lifestyle. It would have been nice to have had the extra 30G (one day to be 60 G when the baby goes) each year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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Well go back to DOE and beg then. Who knows, maybe they'll let you back in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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I am very sure if you focus on the less desirable district G&Ts you might have a chance. Give them a call. If you are thinking Anderson, NEST, LL, 116, 11, or what's the one in D#?, that would be a very firm "no, way" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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OP: I was just going to try for the one DD was offered that we turned down for private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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which one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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I won't say but it's a good one and we would be lucky to have her there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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then i'm afraid you are sol. never hurts to try, though. i would call nicky rosen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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If you can't afford the tuition anymore you can always fall back to your zoned public. It's not like your kid will end up with no school at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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And what fun for the child! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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np. we picked our zoned public over district g&t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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OP: No, I wouldn't do that. We won't starve w/ DD in private, we'll just have to make lifestyle adjustments. I'm not sending her to a crappy school (and our zoned gen ed IS crappy) just so we can go on vacation and have a housekeeper and buy groceries at Whole Foods. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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it sounds like you might live in chelsea? if so, i might give ps11 a call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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or PS111. i am betting that is the program in D2 most likely to have space [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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Ask your husband to get a second job at night bartending or something. Or maybe you can let the other parents know that you are available for picking their kids up after school and you could earn extra money. Just let everyone know its going towards your vacation fund. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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The entitlement is amazing. I am glad you turned down the G&T spot. Hopefully it went to someone that in no way could afford private in their wildest dreams (like me) and who doesn't have the cleaning lady / Whole Foods lifestyle. Can anyone one tell me what a vacation is? If my dc didn't get into G&T, we would have no option than to do our crappy local. So I don't feel bad for you. Just realize how privledged you are to have the option to send your kid to private. You should be grateful for that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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not op, but quit being such a bpp. and learn to spell privileged, for chrissakes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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It's Christ sakes. Not chrissakes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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colloquially it's chrissakes. if you're gonna (also colloquially fine) be a grammar nazi, don't embarrass yourself. christ's sake. not christ sakes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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Capitals please!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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you know that even your child might have the option to get a private education? If you child is a veru good fit for a private school you will get financial aid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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Only people that have a lot of time on their hands can deal with the private school dog and pony show. One of my friends went through that for her kid and what she had to go through sounded so degrading. What parents go through for G&T admissions is enough. I couldn't imagine being put under the microscope of a school to see if my child is a good fit. Between that and paying $600 for the ERB, the whole thing sounds time consuming and crazy to me. I am not an a$$ kisser and I would find it very degrading having to "court" a school to show them how much I want my kid in there. And then what happens when my kid gets in that school and she makes friends with other kids who have completely different lifestyles than us and no matter how I tried, we would never measure up in her eyes. No thanks, I will take a good public school over private any day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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you really need to take a long, hard look at yourself and own up to how bitter you are and how you are cutting off your nose to spite your face. we're all supposed to feel sorry for you, yet you hate everyone and everything. hopefully you aren't passing all that bad energy on to your dcs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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look, private school is either worth the time and effort or it's not. you make the time if it's a priority. don't whine about how you simply can't deign to suck up and try to make the effort and then expect people to feel sorry for you. you just look lazy and insecure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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actually you did have a choice. send dc to the crappy school and work to make it better. it's those people who don't even have the choice of a g&t we should feel sorry for. not hypocritical you whining about not taking a vacation and then accusing op of not realizing she has options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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Tried that already. I did send my dc to local crappy school for a year and worked hard with a few other parents to try to make the school better. Most of the other parents weren't interested in doing the same. And I agree with you on feeling bad for those people who don't have a choice for G&T or Private. How does me not being able to take a vacation have anything to do with options? Every month we live pay check to pay check and if one of us loses our job we would not be able to make rent. Its just hard for me to hear people whining about cleaning ladies and vacations because they have to pay for summer school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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I meant pay for private school (not summer school). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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OP here responding to the "entitlement is amazing" poster: am NOT entitled nor do I think I am. I just like my life, I'm luck to have it, and would (if possible) like to keep it. i won't keep the "perks" at the cost of my child's education though, so I'm looking into the public option as a way to keep our "perks" and still get my kids a great education. Not entitlement, just striving to be happy like everyone else. Sorry you are so bitter and especially sorry that you do not care enough about your own kids' educations to explore options. Oh, and it's not a dog and pony show. If you are willing to do the work it's doable. People do it all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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I toured a couple of privates so I did explore the option of private. If my dc didn't get into citywide G&T, I may have explored it further. So don't assume I didn't care about options regarding my child's education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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I feel so sorry for you. Imagine having to clean your own house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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i'm sure you're the sort of person who feels sorry for women who don't spend enough time with dcs. because they work f/t and have to clean their own floors to boot.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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I work full time and spend so much time with my kid and we all pitch in and clean the house. My husband does the heavy cleaning while we are all out of the house and I do the rest. We do all that and work full time too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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not an option for us. we both work high-stress jobs and dh travels all the time. if it's a choice between my dcs and mopping the floor, i choose the former. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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DH travels alot to and both of us also work high stress jobs. Sometimes we actually have to let the house work go for a couple of weeks. We are barely home anyways becasue of work, school and in the summer camp it doesn't get that messy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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high-stress job? DH travels all the time? 24/7, 365 days a year? You are making excuses here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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for two full weeks a month with smaller trips in between, so not a lot of time for mopping the floor and hanging out with dc. i'm not making excuses, i'm explaining why a cleaning lady is a necessity if i'm not going to be judged by a$$holes like you as an unfit mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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There is always time you can squeeze a quick bathroom cleaning. In those two weeks your DH could do the hardcore cleaning and for the time he is out you can do maintenance cleaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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yup, and i just mopped the bathroom floor on monday. but i like a cleaner house than that. so i hire someone to do it. but, hey, i have no problem with people who live in filth. to each her own. oink. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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wow. how unhealthy for the family. Your kid will grow up without really knowing his dad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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No one said you are an unfit mother. You just sound a little entitled complaining about the burden of having to make lifestyle changes becasue of the 30 grand you are going to have to spend on private school. You are the a$$hole. You are the one who stupidly turned down the G&T spot and are now going to have to mop your own floors. Ha, ha. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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op: excuse me but you have not been talking to OP. I just got back and have been out since posting and a few responses at the begining. I have not complained about a single thing. I have merely asked if it might be possible to get our G&T placement back and it turns out it is. We now have a spot at a terrific G&T. Next stop Monday morning is a meeting with the director of the private school to see if they will make an arrangment for us regarding the tuition. No complaints, just inquiries and doing what I need to do to get what I want and what my family wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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wait, you got back your spot you turned down? because you changed your mind? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:07 PM Flag
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oh, i get it. you never really wanted the spot at the g&t at all. you just want to use it as a bargaining chip to shake down the private school for some $$$. i felt sorry for you early on, but now i see you're just the typical nyc user. the doe went out of its way to get you a spot and you may wind up telling them to eff themselves if something better comes along. nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:09 PM Flag
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hunh? What are you talking about? I am the one who loses money here...the private gets to keep our tuition plus sell the spot to someone else! We didn't want the G&T at first but now we do because we can't afford private. We are meeting with the private to see if they will give us back any of our tuition since we won't be attending and they can replace the spot with another kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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you sound awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:21 PM Flag
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Awful why? We thought we could afford private so we turned down G&T. Now we can't afford private so we asked if we could have G&T back and on Monday I'm going to ask about getting at least some of our private tuition back. What's awful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Good luck...i completely understand what you did re: decline g&t for private and then, upon further consideration, realized it was a better option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:30 PM Flag
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she hasn't realized it's a better option at all. she's hedging her bets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:37 PM Flag
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OP: Not hedging my bets. We're going public. How am I hedging my bets? I have a meeting on monday to pull my kid out of the private and negotiate for the lost tuition! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Even though I would have liked to see the spot go to a family that in now way could afford private, I think you did the right thing. Take the money you are saving and start saving for college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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congratulations! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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How'd it go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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i think she does...she has financial reasons for reconsidering her decision to decline the g&t spot....this is a tough economy....and, as a single mom, i can understand how she rather sink money into expenses that benefit the quality of life of the family as a whole than be "education poor" when a good, quality FREE education is available. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.20.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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Sounds like the perfect relationship. ARe you sure he doesn't have a second family? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:08 PM Flag
[ - ] just moved into a house and the bottom drawer on the refrigerator is broken. anyone know if I can buy a new drawer and if so, from where? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:28 AM Flag
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google the brand of the fridge and see if you can find a replacement that way. Might depend on how old it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 04:34 AM Flag
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call a small town appliance store, like Tiso Appliances in pelham [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 04:59 AM Flag
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