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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] dd 17 months seems to be transitioning from 2 naps per day to one. She use to go at 9:30 and 2:30. Is there a magic time slot or ritual I'm not aware of? she seems tired at 10:30 am...(more) (0 replies)but won't go down. I decided to keep her up a little longer for lunch...tried to put her down at noon, no luck. she goes into the crib sleeping or half asleep, and then bounces up screaming within 2 minutes. Should I just leave her and CIO? In the past I have sat w/her shushing and calming her, but nothing seems to work lately. Please help! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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she sounds like she's overtired at noon, so I would definitely put her down earlier. It's hard at that age to find the right time, because if you put them down too early, you have a screaming overtired toddler from 5-7pm. I would try to move the morning nap back by a half hour at a time- so try 10am, and then if she sleeps from 10-12, try to get a catnap out of her at 4pm, or something like that. It's a gradual process, but eventually you'll get to a noon naptime, and she'll stick to that for a couple of years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
[ - ] where the heck are people getting their money from? how can they be paying for million dollar homes, have mid-sized families all in private school, have sahms? how much money can these guys be earning? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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A LOT, is my understanding. Not speaking from experience. We're existing on $80k/yr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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op: us, too. i guess in my mind, someone making a lot is making 150k. but i guess i'm totally out of touch with what is going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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Dh and I make less than 200K but in NYC that is not a lot. We're comfortable, but cannot live wildly. Bought our apartment a while ago but couldn't afford it now (or anywhere else), sending dc to private school only with my mom's help, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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You guys are living above your means [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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no, we're not. We are comfortable, and we save $1000 a month as well as paying $2000/moth to dh's student loans. We take 2 nice (but not extravagant) trips per year (one to visit my family across the country, one somewhere fun), and we live well but don't spend money like water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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why would you say that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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it really depends. Some people can live like that on $300K a year if they're not saving anything and got help buying their home (from parents). Others make much more... remember people in banks/lawfirms make over a million a year by the time they're in their mid-30s if they're good and smart [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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NP: Yup, we have friends in both categories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I worked on Wall St up until last year - pretty much all of the men one level senior to me made $600k to $3 million per year. Head of my group made $5 million - although this past year and next year they are making just a few hundred due to the market. They have plenty saved though and in about 2 years will be back up to where they left off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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it just boggles the mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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men is the operative word and these people are thieves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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People earning a lot in certain industries is not what surprises me, it is all these people who have tons of money and either don't seem to work, or only do so less than fifty hours a week and many much less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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either they have family money or someone is working more than you think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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There are people who work few hours and make little money - but not the majority [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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^^^^ make a lot! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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yes, I agree, but they are not the majority [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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I know, I really wish I could find myself one of those jobs. I know a guy who works 9 to 5, 4 days a week and makes 125K - I know that is not tons in NYC, but it more than I make and fewer hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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me too... I make 38K and work fulltime, 9-6, 5 days a week and occasional weekends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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what does he do for a living? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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Jealous much? Why can't you live your life and stop fretting over what you don't have? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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not much. definitely jealous a little. and i don't think a little envy is a terrible thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone own a Svan high chair? Any thoughts? tia! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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gets very dirty. hard to keep fabric clean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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the boon is the bomb! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 01:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Had a really bad birth experience...emergency-c, found out on table epidural was in incorrectly, body had serious reaction, had to put my under general suddenly. Also developed pre-partum anxiety and postpartum depression/anxiety. Dc is 3.5 yrs now and while sometimes I do want another db...I'm just too scared. Has anyone btdt? Too afraid to have #2 because of pregancy/delivery experiences? Thank you! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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I had postpartum depression with #1 and was scared to death to have #2. Had #2 (was very prepared with extra help etc just in case)and everything was absolutely fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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op: Thanks, good point, about setting up extra help ahead of time. That would have helped a ton. Dh had to go back to work, two days after we came home from hospital. I felt pretty alone. Help would make a big difference. I just can't get past the hospital experience, the surgery... Thanks for the advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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my ds had to be in the nic unit for 2 days- it was nothing but it took me so long to get over it. I was not expecting that at all. With #2 I just remember that anything could happen made my dh take a week off and asked my mom to come stay. the birth was good and I was happy and confident [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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Op: Oh, I'm so glad to hear that everything worked out and you went onto baby #2! Yes, I try not to think about the future "what-ifs" and worry, and I know, like you said, anything could happen. Actually, I felt like I went into my birth very educated and I knew that things don't always, even often, go as planned. I took extensive Bradley courses and went to a natural birthing center located inside our hospital. I was in medication free back labor for nearly 24 hours, ending up with the emergency-c didn't really bum me out because I did my best, it was just being on the operating table, the doctors panicking, my husband not being there, going under general and thinking that myself and db were dying...I just can't get past that part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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NP: Have you seen a therapist about this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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op: Thank you. Yes. Actually, I've seen one for 3.5 years now. Sounds odd, but since I can afford it and it feels good to talk things out about all subjects in life, I do it. Kind of like getting a manicure every few weeks. I don't dwell or think about the birth, only when DH and I talk about more children. I had postpartum Anxiety, depression and PTSD, and I sought good help from doctors, etc. I wanted to be responsible about it and get better. The fear still lingers though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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yes. so we adopted. I did not want to go through that kind of trauma again in any way shape or form. It's been amazing and positive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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op [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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op [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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op: Really!? Congratulations on your adoption. I'm so sorry about your traumatic experience. It's good to know though, that I'm not alone, not the only person scared off so much by labor and delivery. DH and I have deeply considered adoption for the near future. Did you adopt domestic or internationally? Congrats and thanks for your input! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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international. everything happens for a reason and we ended up with the perfect child for our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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op: yeah! good for you. :) A happy ending! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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Had a nightmare delivery. Which made me more determined to prepare better with #2. I sought out the support I needed and surrounded myself with positive friends and family. Good luck!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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op: Thank you so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Are you a mean girl? Do you have mean girl mom friends or nice mom friends? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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Definitely not, I try to have nice mom friends (and nice non-mom friends), but I know plenty of mean mom friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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I consider myself a borderline mean mom. I can be very bitchy and judgmental but in no way am I the jealous mom type that covets. I judge gossipy moms who talk about other people's kids, also judge fat moms who think they eat healthy and force feed veggies to their kids, also judge moms who don't let their kids eat meat. I also judge materialistic moms who think their shit is gold. I'm basically a pretty up front person and I don't beat around the bush--lots of women get turned off by this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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np-You sound like me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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not a mean girl. stick to nice mom/non-mom friends. mean girls suck too much joy out of my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Any recs for a family/child therapist? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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www.ackerman.org [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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Ugh, just checked their website. Does not accept Empire BCBS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone move to the NYC burbs and completely glad they moved? Any regrets? Every summer we spend time in Westchester and I wonder why we haven't moved out there. BUt I hate it in the Winter. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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I haven't moved there yet but am hoping to. Why the winter hate? Snow? NYC has been getting its share of snow lately too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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my sister and a friend did it and they never looked back. happy with schools, house, suburb life. its not for everyone though. my other sister lasted one year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I am very ready to leave nyc. Should we go now, before I lose my mind, or wait until #2 arrives (who knows when that'll be)? I work full time hence the hesitation. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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Well - where can you afford to go? Speaking as someone who spent 45 min. on hot subway platforms when I could have ridden 35 min. on a cold MTA commuter train - I see your point! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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we can not afford much. I have been looking at the river towns and waiting for something to become available...not much happening there in the 500s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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What about a condo out there, to start? I hear Tarrytown is really lovely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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yes I've been looking at condos. I am aiming for the better public school areas and Ttown isnt on the list. Mainling aiming for Irv., Dobbs, Hastings (like everyone else!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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those MTA commuter trains aren't always that cool, and the platforms at GCT are pretty brutal, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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op: the river commute is so much nicer though. a simple quality of life thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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that's debatable. to each her own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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NP: But also need to consider parking at the commuter rail stations. Most likely you will not be within walking distance to a train station, and the parking permits can be really hard to get sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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well that's the hitch we would be near the train...we want/have to be [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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Personally I like Larchmont. Very good schools as well. Shoot for a small house there, I think it could be done in the 600's or 700's if you could swing it. Such a nice little town. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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Also I hear there are nice apartments in New Rochelle, maybe you could do that under the Scarsdale zip code. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you paint a kid's room a very pale yellow if it has a royal blue rug? dc's room is currently a deeper, darker yellow with white shelves/trim, etc. Just got a darker rug b/c light one was trashed, want to change wall color, but would prefer not just all white. Thoughts? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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linen white by benjamin moore is a yellow-toned neutral white that looks good with glossy white trim and would look great with royal blue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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LOL--that's what practically the rest of our apartment is painted. But thanks for the good suggestion! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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yes, but I wouldn't bother to repaint the walls unless dc wants a change [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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dc is two and doesn't care. this is for my own sense of aesthetics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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if it's for your own aesthetics, why are you asking us? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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touche [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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beige might be nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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I like tone on tone blues, what about a very pale blue (not light blue per se - more like ice blue, or almost white? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:31 PM Flag
[ - ] 2 questions: 1) does anyone w/ a stokke kinderseat know if it's possible to remove the straps once dc is too big for them/doesn't need them? 2) does anyone know about a vest-like thing you can use instead of a car seat for emergency car rides/taxis? A friend had this a few years ago when her dc was 2 and I didn't have one yet. Would love to get it, but can't seem to find it anywhere. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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1) don't think its a good idea to remove straps, but don't know for sure 2) ask your friend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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it's not? I thought the point was they can use it as a chair for a long time, since it holds so much weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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I can give feedback on #1. We have a Kinderseat. Our second currently uses it. We took the straps off when DS got to a certain age (I think just a screwdriver will do it). We never put them back on so DD has used it w/o the strap for about a year (she's 2.5). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh and I are in the process of moving, so there isnt much cooking going on. We've been ordering a lot of takeout and Im getting bored. Anyone have any yummy UES delivery suggestions? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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No suggestions, but where are you going? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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around the block : ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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pita grill, canyon road, any sushi place. beyoglu [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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does beyoglu deliver? Love it but thought it was pick up only. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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We love Pio Pio for great chicken and BBQ Budda. Barking Dog has great salads and burgers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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IMHO, the best delivery burgers on the UES are from Ottomanelli Bros. on Lexington and 93rd. Great waffle fries, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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Penang has excellent mango chicken. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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penang has closed - probably close to one year ago. Big daddy's diner is in that space now - - which is really good diner food. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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Penang gave my entire family food poisoning... and the UES one close I think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Emergency! Where can I get inexpensive fall clothes for a 10 year old girl TODAY in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn? TIA! 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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children's place in the atlantic center in brooklyn (on atlantic avenue) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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the website looks promising -- do they have fall clothes in stores as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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not sure - but there is a target and a daffy's at atlantic center too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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H&M. find out online which stores carry kids clothes first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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Target [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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target has nothing. checked there yesterday. it's all still summer stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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ah. now that i think of it they never have anything in that store anyway. try daffy's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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why do you NEED fall clothes now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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we're traveling to colder climate in 2 days and dd went and outgrew all her cold-weather clothes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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try borrowing from someone with a girl a year older. or try century 21. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I see. H&M, Old Navy will likely have things. Also, you can buy things when you get there (Southern Hemisphere?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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won't be able to buy things there -- only spending half a day near civilization, lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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i see. where are you going? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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christchurch, nz then straight off into nowhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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Daffy's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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Ditto, Tritto & Quadritto. On Broadway about mid-way between Canal and Spring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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Old Navy is there too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
[ - ] How would I be able to tell if I need to take an anger management class? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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Usually anger management classes are court ordered. I would say you need one if you are physically hurting someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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anger management is usually for extreme cases, but if you are irritated very easily and lose your cool (especially with friends, family, children), a few therapy sessions might be worth a try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:49 PM Flag
[ - ] dd's room has white trim everywhere and green walls. Crib, lrg. dresser and changing table dresser are deep brown wood. Do we go with white or brown shelves on the wall? TIA 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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white [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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^^ but brown frames if you put up pictures [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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we have done brown frames and bought brown shelves LONG ago when we thought we were going to get her room together but now I'm not so sure on the brown shelves. How long does Pottery Barn exchange things?!?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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no idea, sorry. good job on the frames though ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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if you have the receipt I bet theyd still exchange them. I agree white would be better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:09 PM Flag
[ - ] what is an anterior placenta 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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placenta positioned on the front of the uterus. why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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i just saw someone's answer to a post about when they felt their baby move and they mentioned that they had one and I had never heard of it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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ahh, yes. that makes sense. it can make it more challenging to feel the baby's movements because the placenta acts as a buffer/cushion between the external skin of the stomach and the baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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np: I had an anterior placenta for 2nd db and felt movement much later [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:14 PM Flag
[ - ] 2 wks after giving birth and i feel awful....just this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. i feel so lonely and isolated and freaked out by the enormous responsibility, like this is all a nightmare but i can never wake up from it. i feel much better when i have a visitor or can get out of the house for any reason. but every time i do too much i get a fresh round of vaginal bleeding. i feel like things would be fine if DH were around during the day or a relative or something. But I'm lonely and isolated, with no family for thousands of miles. please tell me others feel this way and that it will pass!! 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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I was insanely happy for the 1st 2 wks when dh was around. but then he went back to work and I was alone and I was a MESS. All of your feelings are very normal, but if they dont get better on their own, or you continue to feel like this for more than a few weeks, please get some help, seek therapy, I did and I'm glad for having done it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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Many moms feel this way. I remember crying to a friend, "you never told me about this part". I was really down for at least 6 weeks. Anyway you can hire a sitter or mother's helper? Also, I know it easier said then done, but sleep when the baby sleeps. You do not need to accomplish anything right now except healing yourself and feeding/changing baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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the first 6 weeks are like a boot camp. nothing can prepare you for them. nothing can prepare you for how your entire self-concept shifts - you will never again not be a mother. it's a huge transition and lots of hormones too. just when you think the sleep deprivation will kill you, db starts to smile. that helps you get through until 3 mos. then it gets better. can you join a new mom's group? also, if you are NOT EXPERIENCING ANY JOY in addition to all the challenges, then I would talk with your OB about possible post-partum depression. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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I think most people feel this way, or a version of this. Your hormones are in free fall-- don't be surprised that you feel terrible!! I think 2 weeks was the absolute low point for me: lying on the bathroom floor crying kind of low point. And then one day, I think at about 4 wks postpartum, I felt better. You're right that sunshine and getting out will help you. And it may be that you will not "come out" of this, and you'll need professional help. At my six week visit my OB talked to me about how I was feeling, so that will be a screening visit for you probably if you don't feel better, but you can also contact him/her sooner. Be sure that you are getting plenty of sleep (can dh help with night waking?). The sleep deprivation seriously affects mood. take care of yourself, mama! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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What do you think about the above poster who said I should at least be experiencing some joy along with the hard stuff? Sometimes I feel kind of neutral, but joy, no. Did you feel the same way? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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this is the above poster again. just, fwiw, i am a psychotherapist. absence of joy is a huge red flag for depression, imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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how do you feel when dh is around is it just isolatin or do you feel sad all the time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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i felt happy this weekend when he was around. i also went out to dinner with a couple of friends while he watched the baby, and i was very upbeat. but i was nervous about being alone with the baby when he went back to work. monday started out alright because a friend came over to visit in the morning. but by afternoon i had that painful feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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so basically....i feel WAY better when i'm distracted by friends, phone conversations etc. I was clinically depressed once, last year, and very little could provide relief. I've got a referral to a psychiatrist but am worried that all she'll do is prescribe some meds, and then I won't be able to breastfeed. Maybe it's too soon to call this post partum depression, when it could just be the baby blues? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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you need to give your mind and body time to recover from childbirth. 2 wks post partum is NOT PPD. Give it another 2 weeks before calling anyone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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psychotherapist mom here: i take celexa and breastfeed and it has been fine. have to go, but will watch post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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I had the exact same thing with baby #1. Went on zoloft (though I do not like taking medications) for 9 months and it helped a ton. My hubby said he felt like he had his old wife back. BTW, I have had #2 and #3 since then with no problems at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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can you get a post-partum doula to come over? can you afford that? also, a new mothers' support group? AND an evaluation for PPD? seriously, being exhausted and having moments of despair is one thing, but the absence of joy and the presence painful dread are something different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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i'm having trouble finding a new mothers group even though i live in brownstone brooklyn....do these normally cost money? i don't think i can afford a doula. maybe now that this heat has broken i can take the baby to the park and meet other parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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join park slope parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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i'm a member, but haven't met anyone through it....just look at the classifieds and read the digests. Haven't found any ways to meet people..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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new mothers' groups are usually free of charge - they have them at hospitals, churches/synagogues, etc. - sometimes pediatricians offices have info about them too. playgrounds are great places to meet other moms too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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Go to the local library for story time. There is a coffee shop near us in South Slope which had a story time, met and made a good friend there. The Brooklyn Museum has kids events as does the Brooklyn Childrens Museum. Think of them like singles events. -np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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or here: if you are truly feeling no joy, I would talk to someone. but, I will say the other posters are right about sleep deprivation - its gets to some people much more than others. I felt like I wanted to run away, or crawl out of my own skin, or give ds away to someone more capable, etc. We think all sorts of wacky things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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to be honest, I can't really remember if I felt joy or not. I do remember feeling overwhelmingly like: wtf just happened to me? My dh went back to work, and I was at home. With a baby. My life just turned on end, and I couldn't figure out a way to become this new person who had 24/7 responsibility for a child. But I think everyone probably feels these things differently, and a lot depends on your body make-up (how the hormones are affecting you, for example), your family support, your network of friends, etc. And it sounds like you are struggling to create a network, so that's hard too. Take it day by day, and I agree with the person above who said all you have to do right now is heal and feed/change baby. And you should absolutely seek professional help if these 'baby blues' don't lift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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i felt like this with #1 so wasn't expecting it. cried at everything fought alot with dh it was horrible for about 6 wks then it was great! with #2 all i felt was joy and pride that I created this beautiful boy! Remember you can't do everything and take pride in all the things you can do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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Call OB right away for referral. Post-partum depression is bad for you and your child!!! Too many women go untreated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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were you induced, by any chance? and is this your first baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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not induced, and yes, first baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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i had that with my first db. that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. i think it was exacerbated by the pitocin that i got. my suggestion to you would be, if it's too hard to get out b/c of the bleeding, hire someone to come on a regular basis and take your baby outside for a walk. if money is an issue, you can hire a teenager or college student. just so that you know you'll have that time on a regular basis. i went through a rough time and it took a long time to regain my equilibrium. be very analytical about what is making you feel bad and then take steps to prevent or avoid it. and don't be afraid to ask for help, either from dh or neighbors or friends or professionals. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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Nursing helps many women to generate endorphins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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So common. I hate to say it but at least it's summer and you can get out. I ha 2 wk during the dead of winter. Regardless, it's isolating. If you feel better when out or with other people then do that. Invite people over, or get out. I still get out every day just for a walk and to see adult lifeforms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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also i have no appetite. the only time that ever happened to me was when i was depressed last year. but maybe that's also common with an ordinary case of the baby blues? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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"An ordinary case of the baby blues" is post partem depression. See a professional right away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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please do not hesitate---call your OBGYN immediately and make an appointment. This is not at all unusual. Anti-depressants and/or therapy almost always works--it's usually a short-term treatment too. But do seek help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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WHen dh went back to work after 2 weeks, I just wept every morning after he left. I had looked so forward to db, and I just felt so overwhelmed. I saw a therapist short-term and it really helped - she told me to start to create structure out of newborn chaos - like, every day, make a plan to go out, even if it's just to the deli or the shoe repair store. And I started going to a new mom/baby group at the Y and met some neighborhood moms with babies the same age. It will get better! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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My baby is now four months old and I have never been happier. The first month was the absolute worst. I did not feel joy at all. I kept telling myself I was never going to have any kids. Because your hormones are so out of whack this will soon pass just be strong and do not feel guilty about how you're feeling. The more you talk about it with people who love you the better your feel. Sleep deprivation definitely plays a role. Just keep your head up and remind yourself that it will soon pass. Congratulations! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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Hi, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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