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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] OMG-Ouch! I have what feels like gas trapped in my colon and it is so painful! Is this an ER situation? Any idea on how to remedy this? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.25.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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I'd try some Gas-X before i went ot the ER [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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Is it a gall bladder attack? Are you getting shooting pains that go across your back, neck and shoulder blades? If it's a gb attack, get thee to an ER. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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No, the pains don't spread up my back. They just are shooting pains that go up my butt (sorry to sound crass). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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Have you had one of these attacks? I've never heard of this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone adopt after failed IVF attempts? I had always thought I would be fine with adoption, but now feel ambivalent. Not sure if it is dealing with grief or more... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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my sister has adopted 3 beautiful children after trying to have her own for 4+ years. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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a friend did. they are so happy now. I think you have to grieve for what didn't work out, and come to term with it. i know my friend is still a little sad that she couldn't get pregnant, but she is like a new person (after 6 years fo fertility issues) with her little girl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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After 4 failed IVFs, we adopted a son through international adoption. I have no regrets for doing IVFs – I am at peace knowing that we tried our best (physically, emotionally and financially) for fertility treatment. You do have to deal with your grief first.... Have you checked out www.resolve.org? That group helped us decide what future steps we want to take. Regarding adoption, we think this is the best thing we ever did. Our son brings joy in our hearts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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My name is sophia and im 38 and i have had 2 failed ivf cycles and i caint afford to do anymore since i payed for ivf out of my pocket with no insurance.Im so saddend that my cycles failed.Not only did my both cycles failed but i aslo lost two family members at the same time.At the time of my first cycle i got a call that my sister died from gun shot wounds at her place of buisness she was shot over 15 times. After speaking to my fertility doctor she imformed me that my cycle failed due to stress from the death of my sister .Not giving up even though at this point my funds had dwindled down me and my husband decided to remortgage our home to try again.My second cycle started in oct/07 this time things looked great and then yet again to my dismay i got another call that my grandmother that i loved so dearly had lost her battle to rectum cancer she died nov/8/2007 again my cycle failed. I was devaststed and shocked that at a time like this when im trying to create life i was losing my beloved family members.Why am i so bad lucked i caint afford to do ivf again im struggling i still think this is all a dream.So i decided to focus on adoption i dont know right now how to come up with the funds for adoption yet but i still say it's when god says yes.My adoption would be from ethiopia when i look at that site it pulls at my heart strings.Any advice would be gladly accepted. Please add me to the prayer list......Thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.04.09, 10:13 AM Flag
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We did one failed IVF and switched right to adoption. I've got two beautiful, smart, fantastic kids. I am a very, very lucky woman. There is a good book that can be helpful: Pat Johnston's Adopting After Infertility. It can help you (and SO) figure out where your ambivalence is coming from, what your priorities are, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:19 PM Flag
[ - ] When someone calls you to tell you that her/his dc got ERB in the low 90's, do you think that person expects you to congratulate or sympathize? Had no idea what to say. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.25.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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First of all, you shouldn't be sharing scores with friends... secondly, just say "Good for her/him" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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I know. It's just awkward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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I'd say "that's great". That said, the one person I know who shared a score that low TOTALLY freaked out on me as she assumed (rightly) that my dc had a very high score (which I didn't confirm). Very weird experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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And funny that that score is not "that low" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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It is if you want a tt or competitive 2nd tier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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I think all 2nd tiers are competitive. I'd put St Anns, NBS, ST B, ECFS, Riverdale as 2nd tier. 4th tier: Dwight, BWL, Hewitt, Claremont, BIS, schools that only go up to 5th or 6th grade and the new school that just opened up. All the rest are 3rd tier (Bankstreet, CGPS, Trevor, UNIS, Calhoun, Cathedral, SHSH, MM, CSH, ST D, Browning, Jewish schools, Buckley, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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CSH is 2nd tier--and they want kids with 95+ erbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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I would not put CSH in the same league as ST Ann, NBS, ST B, ECFS and Riverdale despite their recent attempt to cream the top. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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I have a child at a TT and a friend with a child at St. B who I know quite well. Academically, St. B is as good and in some areas better than the TT. I know it's not "allowed" into TT because it only goes up to 8th grade, but that doesn't make a lot of sense. The kids there certainly learn more than they do at ECFS or St. Ann's, although the atmosphere is not as nurturing or relaxed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Buckley and St. B as Tier 3? That's crazy talk. They look for boys with 96+ ERBs. I know people who turned down Collegiate and Dalton to send their sons to Buckley and St. B, respectively. It all depends on the right fit it for the family, but Buckley and St. B are not taking the leftovers from the TT k-12s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.03.09, 04:09 PM Flag
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I'd say "now the real work begins" and offer to trade thoughts on schools. A score is what it is, I'm sure they will still go through the whole process and it's so brutal, regardless of scores, that people should support one another and share info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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my dc got under a 95 and is going to a TT school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 07:09 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone deliver at Southampton Hospital? My OBs are at Cornell, and they do not object to my being in the Hamptons on week 36, but I am a little nervous. Worried I may wind up delivering at Southampton hospital, and I had wanted to go for a VBAC. Any thoughts or advice? TIA 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.25.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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why do you think you'll deliver at 36wks? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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I don't, but you never know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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so stay in nyc if it is that imp to you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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not very helpful. Clearly, I'm going. If the result is I wind up delivering there, then so be it. If anyone had any useful advice or could share their experience, that would be helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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It will be fine. Just don't stress about it. Most births are completely routine, healthy baby and mom. From what I know (accident in SH 2 years ago), SH hospital is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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how is this not helpful? if it is that imp to you, stay close to where your ob's will give you what you want. though of course, there are no guarantees either way. just pointing out the obvious really. if you posted to hear what you want to hear, go elsewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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why I start staying away from UB. . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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Because she is looking for advice regarding the hospital and you didn't give it to her. Grow up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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i agree this is best advice if its that important to you to try for vbac with your ob. i also think that if you feel you are in labor and its not peak driving hours i would drive home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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I would not have a vbac at Southampton hospital. If there are complications, that is NOT where you want to be--for you or for db. Chances of you delivering at 36 weeks are probably very, very slim though. I would plan on going and hightailing it back to Cornell if labor starts or your water breaks. With vbac you don't want to get to the hospital too early anyway--I would leave before the rush hour in both directions, just in case, though, and then it's only 90 minutes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] A friend is starting a new business which I cannot respect. Feeds into hysteria of neurotic parents all over. Yuck. Too bad I can't tell him what I really think. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.25.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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what's the business? I'm sure we can tell you if you're being overly snarky or justified. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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Can't go into detail but having to do with comparing your dc's milestones with others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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wow, that IS bad! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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I was shocked. I guess he figures there is money in the biz. Probably in this crazy city. The thing is he thinks he's providing a noble service which is the worst part of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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yuck... that is very misguided... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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my friend is doing the same. and in an ironic twist of fate, it is a consulting business in an area where my friend has failed miserably. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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is it one of those "Life Coaches?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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sort of in that vein. how did you ever guess? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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I know three "life coaches" -- one very well. I would be hard pressed to let any one of them be an assistant coach in Little League. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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A friend has started a tutoring biz, preying on fears of parents and drilling kids as young as 3 and though she doesn't see it that way (she feels she's providing a necessary service), I'm appalled. Glad she's making $s and happy, she's a nice sincere person, but blech! And even if DC needed tutoring, she's the last person I'd go to, I don't like the way she attended to her own DC's issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Is the Episcopal school on East 69th competitive to get into? If so, how competitive on the preschool level? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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yes, one of the most competitive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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so the parents have to interview and the child has to be evaluated? How do people get in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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money, connections [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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we got in. no money. no connections. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.20.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Who else besides myself has a My Space page? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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Does your Mommy know you're here?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 01:11 PM Flag
[ - ] does anyone know if they sell postcard jackets at bloomingdales in the winter? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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what is a postcard jacket? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Dear sister: WHY would you name your dd Elizabeth Bennet???? WHY??? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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WHy do you have a problem with it? Many people name dc after characters they like from books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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I can think of a million names that are so much worse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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me too, of course, but come on... think a little... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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or: sadly, the vast majority of people won't get the reference [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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really? I guess I'm just well-read... and P&P is one of my favorites! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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mine too. but still... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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ok, I guess I just feel bad for my neice who will probably get a lot of teasing (I remember reading that book in hs, etc) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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Will she be called the full name? By high school she will be Liz [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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Because it's not too popular, because it's a great book, because she likes the name and the book? Dear reader, why do you care? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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Elizabeth is a pretty popular name... but my sister isn't making the connection, and I find it strange [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Is Bennet her last name? Either way it will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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Are you sure she doesn't know the connection? Is the DB's middle name Jane? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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In today's society, naming your twins Max and Emme will get more of a response than naming your child after a literary character. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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Would've been funny if it had been Max and Erma [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:19 PM Flag
[ - ] is there a website that help me plan a family winter beach vacation? want to go away with another family with kids and the house rental sites (VRBO) are just not helpful enough. I don't really care WHERE we go, just so long as it's warm and within 3 hours (plane or car) from NYC. need a pool and a beach. HELP! I wish expedia or travelocity included house/condo rentals in addition to hotels. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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in winter, 3 hr car trip isn't going to get you somewhere warm. if you go a little further afield, st john is nice (4 hr flight, then ferry ride). can do vrbo.com on there. maybe go to san diego. florida can be iffy depending on where you go. puerto rico too might be good. bahamas also good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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also, hotels.com sometimes has condo listing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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three hours by car will take you skiing. three hours by plane will take you to Florida. Try miami or Naples (nice beaches, all the condo rentals have pools), Captiva or Sanibel etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:15 PM Flag
[ - ] For anyone who filed for divorce in nY, how hard is it to prove I have grounds for divorce? DH is bipolar (diagnosed) and verbally abusive. He will contest divorce..does a judge reallyt have the ability to not grant us a divorce? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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in ny you need grounds and there are for ways to get it. 1)infidelity 2) physical abandonment for atleast 1 year 3)separation for 1 year and 4)constructive abandonment (which means you and dh have not had sex for 1+ year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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There is also a grounds based on "cruel and inhumane treatment" (which includes verbal/emotional abuse) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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Yes, there is friend filed on this ground & it was really hard to prove - judge denied it the first time - finally, after over a year she was granted a divorce - it helps if you have a lot of money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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Of the fault-based grounds, it's generally the easiest to plead. (The separation grounds is easier, but that generally requires the cooperation of your spouse.) But OP's situation shows why a lot of people have a problem with the fault-based system and think it is harmful to women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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It was not so easy for my friend. She was told many times that physical abuse is much easier to prove. Often, with emotional abuse it is one persons word against another & emotional abusers often seem like the most polite & upright citizens in public. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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np: If she refuses him for a year but he wants it, does that meet #4? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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yes, but he'd have to be the one seeking the divorce [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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so you can't say no and use #4 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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^^^ooops, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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no you cant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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