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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] just read the New York Mag article on men cheating. Sorry ladies, I thought it was pretty spot on and thoughtful 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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okay DH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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i don't know...i do know that it was poorly written. i had a hard time getting past that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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poorly writtten how? IDA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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"Spot on"? It was poorly written, badly organized and has a very old and frequently disproven premise at its core. The whining was only relieved by the ease with which the author changed his tune when his wife asked for the same consideration. The whole article was a cut and paste them-sucker designed to capitalize on current event - and was 6 weeks too late. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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what did you take its core premise to be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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it's hard to keep your fly zipped....waaaaaaah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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i disagree that that was the premise. you must be one of those fearful wives [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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Go ahead and enlighten me, I await you wisdom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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your sarcastic and combatative stance makes it pretty clear that you arent interested in a discussion but rather in mocking and attacking. that is why you didnt get the article. whay are you so afraid of? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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You said the article was spot on and thoughtful and I would enjoy hearing you defend your belief. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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You called OR fearful and afraid in the separate posts which is kind of weird. Why not make your case? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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I just found it to be trying too hard to be provocative for a minute and then shying away from those assumptions. worthless, really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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This is so clearly written by the author of that silly article. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] What's up with the new ub page? I don't like it as much! I have not been on in a long tiime 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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ita- HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE It [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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I loved the old ub [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:18 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone with feedback on wellbutrin-- side effects, how you felt etc 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.22.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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i gained weight on it, lots of people lose [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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good antidepressant. not as effective with the anxiety aspect as some others. eventually switched off of it because it gave me horrible brain freeze and impaired my ability to recall words. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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did you have weight loss as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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no, but didn't gain either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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i LOVED it, lost weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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but how did you feel on it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do 4 year olds still wet the bed?! 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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poster below is enabling her 6 y.o. with pull ups. Utter madness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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That's horrible! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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Agree - she's an ass [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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Can you say ass without getting flagged? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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Urologists recommend them for children with bladders that aren't mature. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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ds just turned 4 and nowhere near being dry at night. He wakes up with a full diaper every night. He's been potty trained since 2.5yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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You still put diapers on him at night?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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np: My 4 yo wears a pull up at night. Not a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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i can tell you why I was wetting the bed at that age: because my parents fought constantly and then divorced. don't think your kid doesn't know what's going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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Your problem has seem to spread to the present [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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ok, shrink. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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doesn't take one to see you are a quack. Like a duck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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you keep beating your kid for wetting the bed. see you in hell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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When and where did I ever say I beat my child? Now I know you are really crazy. I'm sorry for you and your dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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It varies. Some kids are very deep sleepers, sometimes it is stress related and sometimes continuing with a pullup after a certain point just does not encourage them to get up and go. My dd was night trained at 2.6 yo but wet her bed 4 times in her first week back at preschool when she was 4. It happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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My son never wore pull ups. We just let him pee his pants and that worked really well during the day. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't do it often. Just sometimes. How do you get pee out of a mattress? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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Get a waterproof mattress pad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Did DOE have PS.41/3 lottery yet? Have anyone received an application for the registration for K? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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Anyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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I think you were supposed to do the application already for submission to the lottery. check out ps41.org for the latest updates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:40 PM Flag
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I sent an application already in March. We are supposed to hear from them which school DC is going(DOE is having a lottery). My question is if families received result and ready for the registration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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they may be waiting for the g&t to be finalized so they are matching people committed to attending one of these schools instead of getting one spot and seeing what else is there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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G&T placement won't be out until July. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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a lot is going to be in flux until even after first week of school starts. but why do the lottery now only to have people drop out, then have mis matches or trying to scramble later to fill spots after g&t placements. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Saw the most deplorably behaved children on the train today. Boy about 5 was running up and down the aisle, swinging around on the poles. The big sister kept trying to trip him, which made the youngest (2 or 3, in a stroller) scream bloody murder. And the mom just stood there and did NOTHING!!! 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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sounds like the dc were running wild. I would feel sorry for the mom though. Who knows what her life is like or what was happening that day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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ita, any woman with 3 kids on public transportation has a lot of grit. Maybe you don't have to be so judgemental of another mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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np: itta. she sounds like she was overwhelmed. who knows what was going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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ita! it's really easy to judge but you never really know someone situation and personally i feel bad for any mom with kids who act out in public. Sometimes its harder to deal when you have an audience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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OP: I was surprised the kid didn't crack his head open the way he was swinging about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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my 5 yo ds loves to swing on the poles. you need to either relax or have an active ds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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kids rarely do. Are you 70 or childless? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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oh please, you were judging not at all concerned about injuries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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OP: Actually, they were my kids. I was mortified. But they had afterschool insanity energy and we couldn't go to the playground because of the rain. Thank you those who posted kindly. I felt like the worst mom in the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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wait you flamed yourself? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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she's nutx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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what?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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I like you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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seriously? LOL. Relax mama, i would have winked at you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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np - I don't know if I would have. I'm usually not in the best of moods on the subway and the 5 yo running up & down the aisles swinging on the poles would have set me off, not to mention a toddler screaming on top of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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I find everything funny. not sure why but i probably would have laughed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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I won't post kindly. You allowed your children to seriously endanger themselves. That is a spanking offense, and I'm not a spanker. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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I think that is harsh, but the fact of the matter is that this mother has no control over her children at ANY time. She cannot say it was just bc of the rain or just bc they had energy. If she were in control, as a mother should be, her kids would have been seated for the train ride because trains are not playgrounds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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UWS playground has crazy moms who pay no attention to their kids when they refuse to share, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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You are the type of mom I cannot stand on UWS. Bring in your little tyke and insist that all the kids give him their toys and share. or get off the swing after only 1 minute or wait 10 minutes while he cobbles up to the slide and waits for mommy to snap photos. then you are angry that all the other kids don't feel like playing along. sorry, but if you want your kid to learn sharing, teach it at home. do not expect other parents to interrupt their playtime with their dcs to accomodate you and yours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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agree agree agree! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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you are spot on! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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so sad when you add so many replies to your own post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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i'm agree x3 mom above, and i'm definitely a NP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:35 PM Flag
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So you don't mind other kids waiting to play with the swing or an equipment your dc has occupied for 20+ minutes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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??? -- no, i agree with poster above who's fed up with annoying ''my kid's the only one i the park'' moms expecting everyone else to roll over and ''share'' their stuff merely because the annoying mom's kid whines for it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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only added one, fwiw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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Hah! I am talking about crazy moms who pay no mind to a line forming by the swings (totally cut in line) and take over for 20-30 minutes when there is a very long line of kids waiting to take turns. Everyone hates you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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I have never seen anyone take 20-30 minutes on the swings. you are the freak. probably only 5 minutes passes before you are ready to blow a gasket. I linger on purpose when I see your type hovering and pacing. hate it. you are also probably the type who keeps repeating to her kid. its almost your turn now. these people are getting off soon and on and on. the minute I hear that kind of pressure (and its usually seconds after my dc has sat on the swing) I am in slow motion. love to see the vessels popping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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While I don't go into slow motion and I think that is p/a of you, ITA with the rest. It is the parents who get impatient... not the kids. Bring bubbles and chalk and your kid will wait happily with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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My kid loves the swings. We wait patiently for our turn and then he can swing as long as he wants. Wait your turn or go find something else to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 11:06 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm preggo with twins, but one of them is not doing so well. I'm nervous 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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scarry . talk to us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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One of them is turned the wrong way and weighs much less. Not sure if the fetus will make it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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How far along? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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6 months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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Are they in the same sac? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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I had twins 3 years ago... all during my pregnancy, the twins were measuring the same and w/in 1 oz. Around 7 months, this suddenly changed - twin a was measuring 1 lb heavier. They sent me for all kinds of studies to make sure twin a wasn't taking twin b's food, blood supply and monitored me closely to make sure it didn't get to be bad enough they would deliver both babies early. Have they done this with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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^^^ fwiw - my boys were born 37 weeks 5 days at 6lbs, 13 oz and 5 lbs, 15 oz. Good luck - I know it's scary, but hopefully your doctors will watch you like a hawk and intervene if it will help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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I think on Monday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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I have b/g twins and dd was iugr (not growing) in utero. She ended up weighing 4lbs and ds 5lbs12oz but is doing great, just a tiny girl. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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^^^not sure if you are still watching post, but here is what docs did for me: monitoring twice a week with u/s to check dd's vital signs, measurements, and delivery at 36wks. All was well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Special Music School (SMS): Does anyone have an accept there, or know someone who does, and will give it up for Anderson or other G&T? On WL here. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.22.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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what was the admission process like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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Fun for dc and pretty painless for me. Round 1 was like a mini-music class, Round 2 took all of 15 minutes. They just check if children have a good ear, love music, sense of rhythm, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know where I can buy some cute hairbows? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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etsy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:13 PM Flag
[ - ] I am so overwhelmed! My ex is 3k behind in child support, he is a contractor and got stiffed by someone, apparently. I am behind on bills and in debt waiting on this $$$ from him. I am looking for a new job and the prospects kind of suck. I don't know what to do, I can't sleep at night and now camp tuition is due. I need dc to go to camp to look for new jobs etc. Anyone have any financial or any other advice? I feel like there is no hope at all. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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You may have to skip camp and hire a sitter as needed for interviews [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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camp tuition doesn't sound doable if you're behind on your bills. can ex-dh watch your dc when you go on interviews? any friends? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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OP I have to send her to camp, I need to be able to work. He should be working, can't watch her. The camps get full quick, if I wait and get a job, then I am really stuck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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well somethings gotta give then, its not all going to work out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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can you apply for financial aid? many camps provide this... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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you have to give up camp. if your dh isn't working, it's time for him to be a real dad and take care of his child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any schools in Manhattan for special needs children (ADD, ADHD)? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Special Needs 05.22.08, 04:01 PM Flag
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many [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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Can you please give me some names? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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LD schools- chirchill, parkside, gateway (there are no schools specifically for ADD/AdHD) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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^^churchill [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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Also West End Day School, Aaron, Stephen Gaynor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Hey OP, best to get this book, which has good details on all the SN schools in the city: http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Special-Education-York/dp/0807746851 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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Thanks a lot.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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No problem, do you want to tell us more about your dc? Age, current school situation, what therapies you have done up to now, etc.? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Our soon to be 6yo dd recently started wearing underwear at night instead of a pullup. We have been waking her once at 11 pm to pee and for three weeks she did great. Now she has started wetting the bed before we wake her at 11. Aside from restricying fluids at night, any other tips? Should we just go back to pull-ups for the time being. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.22.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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pull ups still at 6???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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pull ups at 6 yo??? quit with the drinks at night. take her to pee before you go to sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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do not go backward. are you sure there's no physical problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:01 PM Flag
[ - ] why does my friend not get it that i am entirrreely annoyed (and offended) when she tries to swap stories about her pet ownership when people are discussing parenting... 71 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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i guess she expects you to be able to empathize? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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but you know how parents are. the whole "nothing compares to having a child" thing... it only irks them more when you compare a dog to a kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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i know. i have kids and pets and there's not a huge difference between cleaning a cage and a diaper...they both give me a hard time about going to the dr, i have to prepare meals for both, they both make messes. shrug. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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well my kids ARE animals, but that goes without saying. still in a circle of parents who get on a high horse about raising future contributors to society... the pet comparisons wear a little thin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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oh, please, i'd tell them to get back to me when their child actually has contributed to society [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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true, but they always win with "my kid could grow up to cure something. your dog on the other hand..." i mean i get the sancti thing that parents do. i also get how people like to feel like parents to their pets.. i just feel like they should play their position a little bit when parents are discussing human parenting. don't be so eager to be like "totally, BTDT with mr. barky von schnauzer" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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i don't think pet owners have ambitions for their pets to grow up to cure cancer. but that has nothing to do with it being as/or more difficult to schedule a qualified pet sitter as a baby sitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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but, again... a dog can stay at home alone.... a qualified pet sitter is someone who knows how to pull the throw pillows out of their mouths [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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depends on the pet, obviously, and how well you plan to care for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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eehh if i have a boa constrictor, i might want to make sure i leave her with someone who knows reptiles, but if she's healthy, there's pretty not much else that needs to be done in the sitting process. i mean, no, you don't want to leave your dog with someone who thinks chocolate makes for great treats [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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dogs, for example, need to be walked two or three times a day, might need special medication (not as easy to give as for a child), need grooming...and you might leave your pet with them for days which includes a whole other bag of responsibilities. you can't really get the 15 year old down the street [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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but... you CAN hire the 15 yo down the street. you just.. write it down. now if this were some prized poodle that you were entering in show, i'd understand the very special requirements as you don't want to take any risk of injury, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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parenting and pet ownership have a lot in common. obviously comparing applying to top private schools isn't the same thing as applying for obedience school, but you both have to fill out paperwork. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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LOL, i'll share this with her. although i remember a fond age when animals were pets, not children [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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is she saying that her pet is a child and trying to save for his college? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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HA, no, but more like all the headache 'she too' feels running around, arranging sitters, etc. to which i always want to reply "those are headaches you chose. your dog can be home alone." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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so, your problem is that she's extra conscientious as an owner? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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no, not at all. the problem is i feel like she does these things to make herself feel important and needed. and this is why i also think she offers them in circles of parents. i have no problem with childless pet people, but i DO have a problem with people pretending that the pet thing is as draining as parenting. conscientious is not the term i would use for people who go overboard with the pet classes, pet hotels, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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seriously, i have no problem with people who adopt animals and make a big deal about making that animal's life as nice as possible. there are some crap parents out there that had children for more selfish reasons. if you think she's really "overboard" with this, don't talk to her. you don't respect her life choices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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making an animals life as nice as possible doesn't require putting an animal in a sweater. i think about 75% of the stuff we do for pets is from our own narcissism, not for the biological or environmental good of an animal. we just want to make them little people so damned badly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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if they has arthritis or a thin coat and it is cold out, it might. besides, making a kid's life better doesn't require brand name clothes and lots of people dress their children for fun or vanity...not just necessity [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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oh, ita that parents go WAY overboard! just that, you know, gets actually have minds and emotions that need developing, can grow up to be axe murderers, etc, so i get how parents would be snarky about the comparison to a pet. the whole raising a human deal seems ot be prettty damn important, where, honestly, dogs don't need us. at all. we have convinced themselves they do, but even domesticated animals only need food, water, and a place to not freeze to death [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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You know what, she probably adores her pet like a child because she does not have a child. If she is like many childless women, she probably wishes she were the mother to a child. Try to be sympathetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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i get all of that, i get all of that. but i know too many owners who adore their pets and know good and damn well it's not the same thing as raising a child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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do you think this is your friends passive aggressive way of telling you that the way you speak abotu your children smacks of self importance adn she finds it tedious? or that perhaps you give the impression that you are the only person with responsibilities? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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she could just be making fun of op and op is too self important to even get it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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OR. That too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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she's not doing it just to me, she does these in circles of parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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she could be mocking all of them. parents are a pretty self importatn lot in this society [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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ita we are self important, and that she doesn't get that she's fanning the fire by trying to include herself in the club is kinda cooky to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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so even though she is your friend, she should shut up, not participate and tacitly agree that your life is importnat and hers is not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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who said that? i said that it gets annoying to compare your dog to someone's kid. there are mannny other ways of participating. all childless people with social skills get this, as we were all children ourselves at one point and remember having parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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np: But what do you expect her to do? Just nod and be mute? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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no, but maybe be a little humble abotu not having the same experience? yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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Humble? Are you for real? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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yes humble as in "we don't have the same experience. i won't pretend that we do" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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No, you think you are better than your "friend." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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no, i think i would refrain from being like "oh BTDT" when an adoptive mother was telling me about what she was going thru emotionally to connect with her child. it's not my experience and i wouldn't pretend to understand what she had been through [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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Your friend may be insensitive and a little dense. But she doesn't need to be deferential and humble about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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i meant humble as all people should be humble when they haven't had an experience. she isn't beneath us because she's childless. but it's a little audacious to compare her experience with a dog to someone's experience with a child, especially when they didn't welcome the comparison [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:35 PM Flag
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Look, I'm the one with the SIL below. She pissed me off. But if we were talking about general kid-related crap, big deal if she compares it to her cat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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np: I don't think OP is saying her friend should be deferential, I just think she thinks (as do I) that her friend is kind of comparing her animal to a human child which it is not. (One thing to do it every once in a while, but all the time shows a diff't view of reality.) I know alot of people refer to their animals as their kids, and I am someone who just never got that -- even before I became a mother (to human children). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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I think it might suck to be the only childless woman in a group of friends. We tend to talk a lot about our kids, more than we realize. Again, in general, I try to be understanding. But did get angry when my SIL made the comparison about my miscarriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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Yes, that does suck and in that case I could definitely see how she could be reaching for some connection. But I guess my comment is more to the general people who refer to their animals as their kids. I just think it's nuts, but I also know I am totally in the minority in this society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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^^^I am very, very sorry about your miscarriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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if you're the minority i am right there with you. i think it's nuts. pets are property, not children [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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I have a friend who now admits she thought she loved her dog as much as she would a baby - until she had the baby. I think the obsessively animal owner is also weird, I'm just not sure that OP's friend is, she might just be struggling to stay connected to friends she has little in common with now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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i can't understand how anyone could ever think they could love an animal as much as a child! i mean, i get pet owner love, but.. it's just so creepy to think that people think this is what parents feel [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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^^people also convince themselves that the animal loves them back. it's narcissism. we are imposing human emotions onto animal behavior [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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Girl I am SOOOOO with you. I have one of these, too. WTF? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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i kinda just stare at her like "hmm. you can't be serious." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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Mine friend would not get it. In some ways, she thinks she's better than everyone, so she'd never see how effed up her regular doggy comments are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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UGH the worst. a SANCTI pet owner. she thinks she's better because her dogs sweater is cuter than your kid's smock? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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My SIL compared my waiting to find out if I miscarried again to her waiting on xrays for her dog. It was not a good time for her to make the comparison. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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If she said that to me in the mood I'm in today, I'd have bitch slapped her for real [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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DH quickly intervened, bless him. It would have been m/c #5. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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OH NO she didn't! wowwwww [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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Yep, right to my face. Not even passive-aggressively over the phone or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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yeah, this would make my blood curdle actually. i really resent anyone who feigns compassion by making inappropriate comparison [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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ugh -- how annoying. unless i can take my 5-year-old to the pediatrician to be put to sleep when he gets too aggressive/pees in his bed, there really is no comparison [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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HAHAHA i love you cruella [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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I can understand why it's annoying but, honestly, your friend is just trying to connect. Some childless friends are less patient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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she definitely wants to connect. i totally understand that, and i try to make sure that the entire convo is not about parenting (which bores the shit out of me anyway). but when it DOES go to parenting... ehhh... just try to ask questions or say "wow, sounds tough" rather than "oh yeah, mr. bojangles and i had a playdate with this total bitch mom, too" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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LOL. I find it completely insulting when people compare my child or children in general to their pets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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I do this all the time and I also have a child. It is very, very similar, except the dog can be left home alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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I am really stunned by all of the people who actually think caring for a pet and caring for a child is similar. I mean, at the end of the day, you're not really responsible for socializing your pet to be a good, contributing, empathetic member of society. To me, THAT is the hardest part of childrearing, on top of all the craziness of potty training, getting them to sleep through the night and trying to shop without them pulling down all the racks in the store. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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TY! ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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A lot of it IS similar. And it's also annoying when childless people act like there's no difference at all. Both can be true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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that's fair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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Dunno, my 19 month old likes to play "fetch" I can keep her amused for hours by throwing a ball and having her retreive it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 06:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Older dc was exposed to Fifth Disease at school. Do I have to worry about my 3mo if she gets it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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I researched it recently online, and it doesn't appear to be that serious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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only serious for pg women b/c it can harm the fetus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
[ - ] 6yo ds keeps trying to cop a feel on me & it really freaks me out. He knows he is not to touch me there & he's constantly trying to push or squeeze them. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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He prob isn't doing it sexually (very doubtful). Prob doing it because he knows it bothers you. Explain to him about private parts on ppl's bodies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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Not uncommon, from what I hear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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