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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Having a hard time with my mom- i think something is wrong with her mentally but i'm not sure what. she quit/lost her job (dep who you ask) and now she plays video poker (not for money) everyday. about to lose everything, unemployment running out, and my sister who lives with her can't get anywhere with her trying to help. she's started hinting around to me about money but i don't want to throw money at a sinking ship. any advice? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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she sounds depressed. I would say that you will give her money but only if she agrees to see a therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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she's broke and off all her meds (bp, thyroid, hormones). no insurance. and $10k in the hole now for her mortgage. its more than just a therapist though i think she is depressed. and overwhelmed. but this is a consistent pattern for her for my whole life...could it be depression on its on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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no, I guess not if she has always been this way it may be something deeper. I know a couple of people who are manic and go through destructive phases like this. They are ok as long as they stay on Lithium. Maybe you should make her go to a shrink and not just a therapist. Does your sister help with the mortgage? Is she in danger of forclosure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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^^^there are free mental health services in NY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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she's in GA. i [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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get her to a dr and go from there. so sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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how do i get her to a dr's if she doesn't have insurance? i guess i'd need to look for mental health services from the state? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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yes. does she qualify for medicare yet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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no, she's only 57. if she were deemed to have a disability she could get something like SSDI but i'm not sure depression if that' what it is, qualifies her. She gets obsessive about things too, like right now she has 70 fish tanks filled with guppies that she's "breeding". they don't cost much because she trades the babies for food, but it's still obsessive. when i was a kid it was birds (parrakeets). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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NP: It sounds as though there is some sort of mental health issue -- but it can be hard to get the right treatment (even with insurance!). Someone (you, your sister, whoever) should probably start looking into free or low-cost services. Think of it this way: what will you do if she loses her house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:14 PM Flag
[ - ] When do I need to have sex to ttc a boy if I O on day 14? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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has nothing to do wiht it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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timing means nothing?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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if it were true, the chinese would have figured out to have all boys. they have not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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OP: HA! Still, timing is important. Don't they use some stupid gender calendar anyways? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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a "stupid" gender calender? hmm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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Hmmm, what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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OP: Well, basing gender on a calendar that predicts gender based on mom's age at the time of conception...dumb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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to you and even to me. but maybe not "stupid" to the people who believe in it. just sounded overly harsh.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Ok Miss PC. Whatever. It's dopey. is that better for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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whatever. i know it's pc but sometimes that's not a bad thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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the boy sperm are faster so I think it's day 14-16. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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Baby's gender is determined by the sperm cell that fertilizes the egg. Half carry X chromosomes, half carry Y. Millions are released in a single ejaculation. How could timing work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it me or are the same posts sitting one the top of the list for half hour or more? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.25.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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its not you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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No one is here but us losers. And I'm leaving now. Adios! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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very slow. everyone's out enjoying the weekend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:10 PM Flag
[ - ] If I make hamburgers for dinner on whole wheat rolls, do Tater Tots count as a vegetable? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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not sure what one has to do with the other? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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no, but who is counting anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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no, only if you put them on potato rolls [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:00 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I have an appt with a pediatric neurologist at a developmtal center in two weeks (ds is 6 mos old). He had some issues when he was born but the Drs. said at our last appt he thinks ds will be fine. I don't like the doctor's way with me. He seems to only want to talk to my husband, I guess, because I ask questions. Maybe also because I am a lawyer? I am really very nice about everything but he treats me as though I am "that horrible woman." I am just frustrated because I believe we have been kept in the dark about so many things. Why is there "no answer"? Don't they have "theories" at least? Why have we not see the MRI? Why did they wait two months to tell us "it was something different that what we thought it was." Why are they so elusive with us? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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I think I can tell why the doctor talks to your DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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i hate to say it but i agree. maybe you need to just have a direct (non-confrontational) conversation with the dr to get on the same page or switch drs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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The post sounds confrontational because I am condensing a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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ita. I think OP seems like she is interrogating him instead of listening to what he has to say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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No. He talks plenty believe me. I am just confused by how much he contradicts himself and by what others have told us. Plus, when this was going on, I would only see him once a week and he would forget what he told us and tell us something else. Or he would forget to tell us something that I would only find out from another doctor after asking. I realize these doctors have a lot going on but I am asking questions because they are confusing the hell out of us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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that's very odd. You should feel comfortable with your child's doc. if you're gonna stick with him though, maybe just talk less so doc is fairer to you (sad but true) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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I really don't talk that much! I listen to what he has to say which is, often weird evasive stuff that contradicts what has been told to us before or told to us by other doctors on the team. I wrote a long post but it does not even cover everything that happened. So complicated to explain here. They just tell us nothing! Absolutely nothing. I do not understand why. It just feels like he is being evasive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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np. Personally I would say to the Dr that I was confused by everything that had gone on and ask to see the notes or to have a written summary of diagnosis and treatment to date. Also I would put my questions in writing. This would scare the Dr's I'm sure but it would be one way to find out exactly what was going on. I would also consider asking to speak to a more senior Dr to clarify things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know of a good pediatric neurologist in New York City? Anyone know how I can find out who are the best? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Special Needs 05.25.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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Tell us why you are interested in seeing a ped neuro. They are great for purely medical issues (headaches, seizures, you need an MRI) but completely lousy for any kind of developmental issue. John Wells is well regarded, but if you are concerned about your child's development, do NOT see a neuro. See a developmental pediatrician. We can give you names for those too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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1,000 true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:03 PM Flag
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My gf waited a year before seeing a neuro who finally dx her ds. Dev Ped didn't help at all, he's not autistic. He's severely delayed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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I'm a bit upset by people writing in a way that there is something *wrong* if your child is on the spectrum but not *fine* if just delayed. It seems to happen here once too often. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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also whether a child is on the spectrum or *just* delayed the interventions are often the same. The earlier and more intensive the better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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often the important thing about getting a dx is the ability to get the intensive services. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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np: no reason to get so upset. Op is new to this world. OP, it's more pc to say that dc does not have an autism spectrum disorder i/o dc is not autistic. Head on over to Youbemom.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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so true. my ds does not have a spectrum dx (as per dev ped and neuro) but receives the same tx's (ABA, OT, speech) and frankly in some ways it might be easier to have a spectrum dx b/c then he wouldn't be this unusual case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 03:20 AM Flag
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To me that meant she didn't see a good dev ped. Sadly there are poor dev peds, but the entire discipline of ped neurology is not geared towards pinpointing disorders in kids who have subtle, "soft" signs instead of classic hard signs. Many neurologists will tell you that they don't think sensory issues truly exist, for example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 08:47 PM Flag
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ITD. Signed SN mom of dc 14 and 16yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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One place to start is your pediatrician, the next are review sources like Castle Connolley directory. Did your dev ped recommend you see one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 04:05 AM Flag
[ - ] 6 month old dd is not babbling, is it something to worry about? She has good eye contact and smiles when we play with her. Also she seems to pay some attention when we read a book to her. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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Here is an excellent list to refer to for developmental milestones and what to look out for: http://firstsigns.org/healthydev/milestones.htm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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Does she make any sounds except crying? I wouldn't worry btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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don't worry. my dd was very quiet for a long time and now never stops babbling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you ever use a babysitting service hired for a wedding that kids aren't invited to? Why? This is the one: 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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http://www.weesit.net/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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Sure. Thousands of kids have survived. If your kid will put up with it, no problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:36 PM Flag
[ - ] My single friend is in town for the weekend. Last night we planned to go out to dinner, just us. 6:30pm we decided over the phone where to go. 8:30pm, I left to pick her up and upon arriving at her place, she wasn't ready (typical). So I told her: "In that 2 hours, I fed my child dinner, gave her a bath, took a shower myself, dressed and drove to pick you up- how can you NOT be ready?" And she got all pissed off. Whatever. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.25.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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Think about how you made her feel [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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how soon we forget... this is how I was for 31 years... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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Your friend deserves a better friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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This is why the childless hate parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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You're not HER mother so stfu and try to be a little less [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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>>>judgemental [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Any Bedford moms on? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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There's only 2 people here, so my guess is no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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Ha. guess not. have not been on since they switched format - is it just dead today, or is this pretty much it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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Are you super wealthy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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No, but I know 2 NYC families who recently bought weekend homes in Bedford and I think it's such a good idea -- easy drive, plenty of amenities, but still "country." Wondering if there are any well-priced places in the area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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No but moving there this summer. House is still under construction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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Me Too! Where exactly are you moving to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:28 PM Flag
[ - ] now that the garage sale thing doesn't exist anymore, how would you suggest i sell my barely used jane double stroller, only want to sell to someone in nyc, so that I don't have to deal with shipping it 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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craigslist. you can also do on ebay and select local pickup only. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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thanks, had no idea that was an option, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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have you tried craigslist.org? I bought many things from there! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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