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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] just need to vent. i feel horribly guilty. My DD is healthy and all that good stuff. But she is SO hard to deal with right now. 13 months old. Throws a tantrum five times a day. Over the tiniest thing. Won't eat anything but cheese and bread. throws everything else. fights when its time to get in car seat. fights at bathtime. fights when its time to get OUT of the bath. every. thing. is. a. fight. It is draining me. Today, I found myself thinking, I really don't like this girl today. then I felt horrible. and still do. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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Hmmm....13 mo is early for that kind of difficult stuff. My 12 mo is challenging--doesn't nap well, still doesn't reliably sleep through the night--but she doesn't fight about everything. Do you have anything to make mealtimes, bath times, more fun? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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OP: I'm trying. If I only allow her to eat a grilled cheese for bkfst, lunch, dinner, she'd be fine at mealtimes. If I let her stay in the bath for three hours, she'd be fine....et al. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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Is she possibly allergic to foods and cranky from that? Maybe her stomach always hurts. Maybe she's hungry,etc. Can you have her tested for allergies? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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Don't feel bad. We all go through this at one time or another. My 15 mo was like this for a bit and I kept having fantasies about running away. Dc #1 was sooooo easy when little, but now at 4 yo is very difficult. All of sudden your dd will get through this phase and be fine, and then there will be another difficult one in a few weeks. That's what parenting is all about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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^^^BTW, I am CONVINCED this happens when they are acquiring a new skill (like walking or talking). Their frustration threshold is very low. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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OP: you may totally be on to something here. She JUST started walking last week. And she's been this way ever since. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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when my 20mo became really difficult out of nowhere, i realized after the fact it was due to her molars coming in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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also--it is TOTALLY fine for you to indulge her eating habits when she's going through a hard time imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:35 PM Flag
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OP: thanks. I do, mostly. But I always feel like I should try to slip in something like a fruit or veggie. But then she wigs out and we're both upset with each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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omg, this is my son, it gets better I PROMISE. He's 2 now and so much better now that he can talk and tell me what he wants [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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OP: bless you for posting this. Hope you're right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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It really will get better. Yes, his tantrums are still intense, it is his personality, but he is so much sweeter and easier. He still has very limited diet but we work on it a lot. Good luck, I know how hard it is, we couldn't take him anywhere, ever! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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my dc was pretty darned difficult (so I felt just like you), and still can be-it is her personality and she gets alot of it from me so I can say that-but she has mellowed and become a joy as she has gotten older. We laugh at her all the time b/she is so "definate" and can seem cranky or ornery, but she is so focused and well-behaved in her own way and also has become v. social which surprised us. Starting school at 3 was a huge turning point for her-she just loved having somewhere to focus her willfullness and to succeed at something and she seemed so much happier. We thought at 1 that she was just going to be such a miserable child based on her behavior then, but she is far from it. Personalities develop over time, so don't give up hope! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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On my 3rd child now.... and i have to say that i actually enjoy the tantrums and the fits. since the other two are older and i am not planning on having a 3rd, it puts everythign into perspective. if you can spin the tantrum, your dd will develop great character. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:18 PM Flag
[ - ] any suggestions for a great book? loved both the kite runner and 1,000 spendid sons- that style of writing...TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.25.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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the painter from Shanghai by jennifer epstein and an unaccustomed earth by Jhumpa somebody- both fantastic reads [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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The Red Tent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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i love richard russo, esp risk pool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:18 PM Flag
[ - ] having trouble finding toys that 3 year old ds will like. he likes reading and dancing, but doesn't like trains, legos (or other building materials), etc. Feeling frustrated because i can't find anything that will hold his attention for long. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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What about play-doh, etc.? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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Ideas: Melissa and Doug art easel with paper and paints (my 3 y/o nephew LOVED); Big bucket of dinosaur set (nice with the movie Land Before Time) (3-5 y/os love dinos); a tent or tent/tunnel to play in or make a fort out of; dress up stuff like pirate/peter pan outfits, maybe with some pirate books or peter pan movie; etc. Just use your imagination. He may like things like art/make believe more than playing with certain figures. I did as a kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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Have someone teach him to read? Check out the tutoring service, Reading in Preschool. They're a lot of fun, show great results, and children develop all sorts of confidence from learning something amazing at an early age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 12.21.14, 01:26 AM Flag
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Would he like an "obstacle course"? You get a tunnel and oversize blocks and hula hoops and other stuff and have him move through it. He's have to concentrate to get through it (and might start to use the blocks and then you could transition him to regular Legos and Duplos). What about a MagnaDoodle or ColorForms? Or a memory/matching game with characters from a book that he likes. Look at lakeshorelearning.com and discountschoolsupply.com for materials. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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These are the blocks: http://www.legoeducationcenters.us/Default.aspx?TabId=241&art=1018&ap=7 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Would someone please help me deal with dh who had an affair? I'm seething here, people. need some advice. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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Time to take time for yourself and do what you want: vacation, spas, visit with friends. Make dh court you if he's interested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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here is the problem- if you cant forgive him (which I am not siure I can either) you are going to slowly poison the marriage anyway so either you try to get forgiveness and stay or you ask him to leave- say you cant live with the betrayal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:45 PM Flag
[ - ] whats the difference between a mouse and a rat? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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different species? rats are bigger? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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a mouse is one kind of animal. a rat is another kind of animal. they are both rodents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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They are both disgusting! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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I know *that*. whats the difference? they look the same to me. beady eyes, pointy nose, whiskers, long tail and gross [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have a really serious, tempermental 3 yo? Mine just can not take a joke...gets so angry and defensive when we joke around with him and it drives me nuts. I feel like has has a really unplesant personality sometimes and I wish i could change it 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.25.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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yikes...I pity you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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have him evaluated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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geez [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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np: I tend to agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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My ds gets really mad if he thinks I'm laughing AT him, and yells at me that I'm rude. He's 5. He often thinks I'm laughing at him if I just think he said something funny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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My 5 yo is same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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So why tease him? Give an example of the type of joking around he can't tolerate. Maybe you're just going too far and won't own up to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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op: no, its nothing at all. Like I will say I am going to eat your toes and he will yell no and get really upset [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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My ds is like that too, but he has a very good sense of humor generally. Some things make him so angry, like the toes example. He would take that totally seriously [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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^^^and he is getting like this with friends too which is a problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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When my ds was 3, this was his typical conversations with friends and classmates: Ds: "That's not a turkey sandwich." Friend: "Yes, it is." Ds: NO IT ISN"T!" Bursts into tears. "It's not!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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NP and nursery school teacher here: LOL! Sounds like several DC in my class! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:42 PM Flag
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op: OMG...this is my DS to a tee and DH and I are like WTF is wrong with him? I dont see this much as much with his friends and he ceratinly gets the most upset [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:45 PM Flag
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It's not all 3-y-o's -- but there are always a few! He won't be like this forever -- I think that a lot of it is about "control" -- at 3, DC are still young, but are starting to experiment with their independence and autonomy and it's scary! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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op: yes...my DS is very controlling. i dont know how to handle it when he gets so upset about these things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:58 PM Flag
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There's not very much that you can do -- he can't be reasoned with when he's like that (and you'll go insane trying to reason with him!). In some circumstances, you can remove him from the situation or change the subject and distract him -- but there are times when he "needs" to have a fit (and that's his way of making sense of it). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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op: you are right...I have tried reasoning and its absurd... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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NP I know these suggestions aren't popular on Toddler, but I agree with the above poster that you should consider having him evaluated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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it's the age, he'll change [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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why tease him if he doesn't like it? but if you do, help him with critical thinking skills. help him determine how to know if you are being literal. help him determine how hurtful a comment is and whether it warrants crying or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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op: I just never know whether he will laugh or cry about it...as for teaching reasoning skills, thats pretty hard with a 3 yo since the whole thing does not make much sense [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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you can do it. like if he cries about eating toes, you can ask him if you can really eat his toes. if we really eat people. you can teach reasoning skills to kids that age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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3 yr olds are VERY emotional. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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Dana? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone thought of killing your dh? I am so angry at him; he had an affair, I have been calm for almost a month, but now I just can't stand it anymore. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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use a colorless, odorless poison. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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thank you for at least being helpful. Never been so angry in my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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You have the choice to stay or go. And no, it's not complicated. You have the choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:40 PM Flag
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I hate that. It is SO VERY complicated otherwise she wouldn't be agonizing over it. Have some compassion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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Easy for you to say. You dont know a person's situation unless you have lived in their shoes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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BTDT? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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ita, this response is beyond absurd. please don't let this get to you, op. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:51 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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do you go to couples therapy? and here is the thing- was it an affair with emotions and feelings or some gross random woman that he slept with a couple of times? there is a difference because one you can forgive (perhaps) and the other..Well I dont know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:48 PM Flag
[ - ] usually choose form over function but i acknowledge that an activity mat/gym thingy is not going to be attractive. that said i am completely overwhelmed by the options. there seem to be way to many options. thinking i want to get one with music. any ones you suggest or features i should look out for? tia 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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just go to a store and pick the one that is least offensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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baby 1.5 wks, not really having the chance to hit up bbb or bru. was hoping to buy online [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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NP: Then just pick one online. Doesn't matter which. I promise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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they honestly don't even use them for that long. I used an old one of my sisters and ds wasn't so interested. just get a simple one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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ITA - Mine never liked the activity mat at all (got the black/white/red one from Tiny Love). In the end used a quilt and Lamaze mirror for lots of tummy time. Save the visually offensive stuff for the Exersaucer! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:40 PM Flag
[ - ] How long does it take to get the results back online for the ERBs? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 05.25.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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4 weeks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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Ugh. cmon. I want to see them now. I log on all day- [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:01 PM Flag
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np; we got ours in 3 wks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:15 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the best high end hotel to take a 7 month old in the carribean on vacation? TIA 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 05.25.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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Caneel Bay on St. John or the Ritz on St. Thomas [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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im not a huge fan of st. thomas- how is caneel bay? I heard great things about it but is it okay to bring baby? do they have cribs in the rooms and pack and plays by the beach? I heard this is what they have at the Ritz in San Juan so I thought I would look into other options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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NP: I never stayed at Caneel Bay, but St John is so much better than St Thomas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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Amanyara- turks and caicos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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wow- never heard of it but just checked it out....looks georgous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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it was amazing. direct flight. leave the 7 month old with your parents and go for a long weekend. we did it was great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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thats what im thinking but we decided to go away with our friends who also have an infant...maybe well save it for a trip w/out db -thanks= any other suggestions on baby friendly places ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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love the four seasons in bahamas, emerald bay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:18 PM Flag
[ - ] I'd like to get some kind of foam rubber mat (like an exercise mat or those interlocking letter mats) to put under db's wading pool. Suggestions on where I could find that in southern Westchester? tia 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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Order online. We got the alphabet one at One Step Ahead. If you must see it in person, try Buy Buy Baby (in Scarsdale?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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oh, great idea -- BBB is practically across the street from me (as is Babies R Us) -- I'd tried other places but not there, doh! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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target [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone see picture of ajolie with shiloh in a cute black sundress (shiloh not aj)--i just figured out that dress is from american apparel--so cute. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:51 PM Flag
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no, but I really don't like black on young kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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Completely agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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a black dress on a 2 yo? gross [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:57 PM Flag
[ - ] My 18mo was just diagnosed with speech delay problems. He mumbles a lot, but doesn't have any real words yet. The dr said to wait until he's 2 to come back. Has anyone else had this happen? Any tips? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:38 PM Flag
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he was diagnosed, but you're supposed to come back at 2? that's weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:39 PM Flag
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I know. She said to wait until then to see if he catches up. It really bothers me to think I'm doing something wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:41 PM Flag
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http://www.speechdelay.com/testrosemilestones1.htm#18%20MONTHS: Please check this site out. Your Ped is WRONG!!!!!! You should really have an evaluation or at least see a developmental ped. You would never want to miss the opportunity to help build his skills now. If there is an issue you will catch it early. Early intervention is what works! GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:43 PM Flag
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I just reread your post. Who gave the dx? The doctor? If so, why in the world would he offer a dx and say to do nothing for another 6 mo? If your child is delayed they need intervention. They don't just learn this on their own. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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The speech therapist is the one who said to come back at 2. She gave me a lot of papers to read about teaching him, but I feel he needs something more. If you ask him where mama is, he doesn't even point to me. He's very social in every other aspect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:46 PM Flag
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Was this through early intervention? Do you have a copy of the report? Perhaps your child didn't qualify for services. He would need a delay of at least 33% in one area or 25% in more than one area to qualify. Perhaps this is why she is giving you exercises and telling you to revisit this in 6 mo. However you can pay privately (if you can afford to) before 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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Your doctor should have recommended the Early Intervention program. Are you in NYC? If so, I will get the number for you. It's a totally free program - they send a couple of evaluators to your house to evaluate ds, send you a full report with recommendations. If he qualifies for services, he will receive speech therapy for free. It's hard to qualify, but it's definitely worth getting the evaluation one way or the other. My ds was diagnosed with a speech delay at 19 mo (no words). He made incredible progress in private speech therapy. Do NOT just wait 6 mo to see if he "catches up". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:48 PM Flag
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This was my son--exactly. They also said to wait until 2 yo. He started speaking at 22 months and when he was evaluated again at 24 months, the speech therapist said this happens all the time--especially with boys (they learn to talk later, on their own). Good luck to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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My 3 yo cousin had the same diagnosis and the speech therapist told him the same thing. At 2 years he was given early intervention and he is still behind but he has come a long way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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He's only 18 mos. My DD had now ords at 18 mos, and now at 24 mos. she speaks in SENTENCES. Don't go driving yourself nuts just yet. Most DC's do catch up by 24 mos. Those that don't are the exception. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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sorry, I meant DD had NO WORDS at age 18 mos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Be honest how much tv does your toddler watch? Mine-- waay too much 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.25.08, 03:37 PM Flag
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Easily 2-4 hours a day. He is usually playing or eating when it's on. I'm preg and exhausted and sometimes it's the only thing I can do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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me too. honestly i don't have a problem with noggin. it's not like they are watching rugratz or bratz or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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Noggin is sometimes on all day but as backgroud. They have a playroom with shelves and shelves of toys and do free play while Noggin is playing in the background. Sometimes they recreate what's on Noggin with their own toys. I have 4 DC's age 4 and under,so that's how I cope. I'm curious how destructive is it, really, if at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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4 under 4? omg. you poor thing. do you have help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Thinking of ordering a cabinet to hold a TV. Will it be awful if the back of the TV hangs off an inch or so in the back? Will be catty-cornered and unlikely to get banged or jostled. Will eventually upgrade to a flat-screen (I hope!). 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.25.08, 03:36 PM Flag
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they arte open in the back for that reason. if it's in a corner, no one will see the back. and bolt it anyway--you'd be amazed at what a toddler can pull over [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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It's a tiny cabinet (not specifically designed to hold a TV, but happens to fit in the space) -- the TV will go on top. I like the bolting idea -- that should work. (My DC are older, but still!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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