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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Jewish moms: What is customary to do when a neighbor's mom passes away? It just happened this afternoon, she had lung cancer, it was sort of sudden. I'm going to be out of town starting tomorrow but dh is here to represent us at a funeral if it's public. What else should I be doing? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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A note is nice. No flowers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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is she orthodox? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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no, reform. Their synagogue is in a hotel (they are still building). Their kids go to Sunday Hebrew school - that is as much as I know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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a food basket is always a good bet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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Jews give food. We also sit shiva...so DH or you can stop by where they are sitting shiva, especially if its at her home, one afternoon to pay respects. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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My mom died of lung cancer suddenly and I'm Jewish as well. Whatever you do, no flowers. Food is always nice because the last thing your friend is doing is cooking. If she has kids, helping with babysitting is good or helping cook dinner for them. GL to her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay, I'm getting conflicting advice -- do we give the nanny we are about to fire a notice period, or just tell her she's fired one day and give her a severance? She's only been with us 7 months and I can't afford to give her more than 1 week's severance (so giving her some notice period to work would get her more $$). 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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why are you firing her? generally, if for cause, you don't give notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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Not a good fit for our family, some trust issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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np: then tell her she's fired and hand her the severance check... you don't want her hanging around your home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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Hmmm...that's what I think too. Now I just need to convince DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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So no reference either right? Nanny probably deserves firing, but one week's pay seems wrong to me. Anyway you can swing more? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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I can't afford to give her 2 week's pay and pay the new nanny for 2 weeks. She's only been with us for 7 months, so I don't feel I owe her more than a week's pay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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Tell her that day and hand her a week's pay - that's what I did. She wasn't happy but it was what I had to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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OP: That would be my preference, but DH is thinking we should give her notice to be fair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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I wouldn't want her alone w/ my kid after giving notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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"notice" generally works the other way... if the employee quits, so that you have time to find a replacement. by giving her severance money, you are effectively giving her "notice" but will want her to leave your home, i would think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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That's DH's point though -- we'd expect her to give us notice, so we should give her the same courtesy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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but you will by PAYING her for the time (1 or 2 weeks) that would cover the "notice" period. these are your KIDS we're talking about! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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Okay, chill. We're not firing her for abusing the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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collapse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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Buh-bye. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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agree. posters who only want to hear what they want to hear are very annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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OP: I don't just want to hear one thing, but OR was freaking out, like I was about to leave my kids with a serial killer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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actually, i think she was trying to 'splain to you how silly it is to bend over backward for a nanny that you don't trust. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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Do you really want a ticked off nanny who you already have trust issues with watching your kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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depends on why she's being fired. if it's b/c you aren't happy with her, i would not be comfortable having her around after you notified her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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OP: We're telling her that it's because we're putting db is daycare, so we're not telling her it's because we don't like her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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if you think she'll believe it, you can give her notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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hi i am interested in working as a nanny i am a 33yrold mom can work 5day wk or weekends also great with kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:42 AM Flag
[ - ] bye bye. to the other site. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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I so prefer this site. I wish everyone would come back, though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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np: my only problem with the site is that i don't like how old posts are coming up. the whole beauty of UB was that whatever you posted, it was gone forever. i feel like i'm being showcased. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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what? everything was saved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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ita -- the old posts were there before. That hasn't changed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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right. but here the old posts keep coming up. it bothers me for some odd reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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what happened? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:07 PM Flag
[ - ] WHERE IS EVERYBODY??? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it raining in Manhattan? I need to come in from Brooklyn but if raining it is canceled. It is raining lightly in Brooklyn now. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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Not raining on the UES - though that could change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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thanks, let me know if it rains. I am watching the post. I need to decide in the next 10 minutes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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still not raining [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] does borg mom even come on here now? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:52 PM Flag
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I hate her. So annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] not much action here. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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seriously. since the new format, I haven't been on much. can't get used to it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I think my dc has PDD-NOS. How come poeple (therapists, evaluators) say that he will grow out of the diagnosis? Is this your experience? Is it more that he will learn to cope with the challenges? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Special Needs 06.04.08, 03:48 PM Flag
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some children do lose the diagnosis, unfortunately, not all do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 09:00 PM Flag
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It's hard to say. My dc was dx'd with mild pdd-nos when he was 2. Now he is 4 & no longer has the dx although he still has some pragmatic language issues (although he is improving so much in that area as well). I mean I imagine my dc will always have some quirks, but he's doing great. Does that mean he never had the dx to begin with?, did he "outgrow" with therapy?, or did he learn to cope with his challenge (with therapy)? That I can't say. But, yes, it is possible. And the only thing I can say (which is far easier said than done I know) is don't let the dx or label keep your dc boxed into a category where you limit your views of his potential. I think that it's great that your therapists & evaluators think he can outgrow the dx. It means they see him as a child with tons of potential first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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^^^FYI: I meant this as separate reponse to the OP, not a response to the OR. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:43 AM Flag
[ - ] ds just got out of bed to tell me that i forgot to remind them what will happen if they get out of bed. you could just pull your hair out. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:46 PM Flag
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attorney-in-training [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:47 PM Flag
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no. it's like part of his bedtime routine. he can't go to sleep without it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:50 PM Flag
[ - ] style moms: i am petite (ok -really short), so i get that i should avoid capris - what should i wear to chase 2 young kids during a hot, humid summer? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:43 PM Flag
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can you do knee length shorts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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op: will that make me look shorter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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You are what you are. It's actually all about proportion not absolute length. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:47 PM Flag
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are you heavy(ish) then do avoid capris. But if you're average weight, wear capris if you want or anything else. NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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why? I am short & wear capris. Don't get style advice from UB crones [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a baby bird that is dying and no one in animal control is helping me! I have left 3 messages. What do I do? Can I take it to an spca or something? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:38 PM Flag
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is it a rare bird? because otherwise.... survival of the fittest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:41 PM Flag
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no, i think its a finch. Seriously? How sad! I can hear the mom crying for it but I have no idea where the nest is. It was in a cat's mouth and I chased the cat away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:42 PM Flag
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I tried to save about fifty birds as a little girl-- even found the nests, put them back in-- they ALL DIED. Believe it for not I'm trying to make you feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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what town/city are you in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:42 PM Flag
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san diego [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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call a wildlife refuge center in your area. animal control won't do anything. singed mom who drove baby squirrel to one. i'm in midwest though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:49 PM Flag
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Get over it? It's just nature. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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lol, ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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try some animal hospitals, I have brought pigeons in around here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] argh, i left my dd with my mom today, and as usual, she failed to give her a nap. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:35 PM Flag
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relax [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:36 PM Flag
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lol - the price of babysitting - happens to us every time. also with bed time. No matter what time we come home, ds will have "just" gone to sleep before we come back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:42 PM Flag
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but you got free babysitting, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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OR - right - that's why I can't complain when that happens - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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so she goes to bed early or whatever. if you want your dd raised to your specifications only, you'll have to be with her 24/7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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Unclench [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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i would find this annoying as well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel like not too many people like me. I'm really a kind nice person and don't get it. any advise? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:27 PM Flag
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hmm. don't konw where to start. do you have any friends. can you ask someone you trust if theres' something you do that's offputting? or are you maybe imagining that this is the case? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:28 PM Flag
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i have friends. just moved to a new town and feel so left out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:29 PM Flag
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ohhh, just takes time. give it time, really and it'll happen. where from, where to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:29 PM Flag
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from nyc to nj [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:30 PM Flag
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oh no, sorry to say, that's the problem. it'll happen in time, but it's different, and you probl had old friends in nyc. and nyc is denser and warmer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:31 PM Flag
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NYC is warmer than NJ? say it ain't so, bro! I am about to move to NJ from NYC... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:32 PM Flag
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warmer hearted [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:35 PM Flag
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temp is warmer too, coastal effect [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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people like you. but you also have to reach out sometimes because people are often lazy about showing it. sometimes you have to draw them out, gently of, course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:29 PM Flag
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Do you like the people who don't like you? There are plenty of people who don't like me, but I don't like them either, so no biggie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:09 PM Flag
[ - ] i never fit in anywhere. i'm a foreigner with no home. i'm so sad and want to cry 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:25 PM Flag
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where are you from and where are you now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:27 PM Flag
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i'm from iran and live in long island [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:27 PM Flag
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you might be happier in nyc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:28 PM Flag
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more people, more density, and most people not from there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:29 PM Flag
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i'm stuck here unless we hit lotto! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:29 PM Flag
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come to manhattan. we're everybody. come have dinner with us. we're having halibut wrapped in swiss chard and roasted garlic potatoes. don't be sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:30 PM Flag
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i love you. you're nice and your dinner sounds good. address please? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:31 PM Flag
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you sound so nice. i need a friend like you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:31 PM Flag
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love your response - Manhattan here too and ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:43 PM Flag
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actually there are lots of people from iran who live in long island. did you come recently or have you been here a long time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:30 PM Flag
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been here a long time but i'm too americanized for them and not rich and famous enough to be in their group [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:32 PM Flag
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is your husband american or also from iran? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:34 PM Flag
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Great Neck? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:32 PM Flag
[ - ] i'm so tired i feel like crying 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:24 PM Flag
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sorry, i really don't want to say this kind of thing, but welcome to parenthood? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:26 PM Flag
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let me rephrase. yo'ure not alone, never been more tired and overwrought in my life. but not always, and it won't last. get someone to help and go to bec [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:27 PM Flag
[ - ] What would you do if your 5 yo wanted to paint his nails when he saw you and dd painting them? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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ask him what color he wants? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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children learn by imitation. If that's what you're doing in front of him, he may get interested in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:27 PM Flag
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My 2 yo ds has bright pink toenails. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:01 PM Flag
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I'd paint them? Is this a trick question? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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let him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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