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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Need help: my almost 6 year old has a worrisome new habit: he wipes his butt excessively after going to the bathroom, to the point where he clogs the toilet and goes through half a roll of tp. Afterwards, he keeps asking me "do i have poop in my butt?" and then he washes his hands a lot. Throughout the day, I will catch him smelling his hands and then going back to the bathroom to wash them again. This happens maybe 10 times a day. I am worried about this--is it the beginning of a disorder? He's also "perfectionist' in other areas of his life, when he makes a mistake on math homework, he has to erase all signs of the error or even start on a fresh sheet. He is almost 6 but is starting 2nd grade in the fall. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:09 AM Flag
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Wipes might help him feel cleaner, but this does sound excessive. Why is he starting 2nd grade so young? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:13 AM Flag
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he's homeschooled-finished 1st grade math, language arts and so on this year-he will be doing 1st grade science and history, however. I was thinking about wipes--thanks. Just worried about his preoccupation with making things "perfect". We goof around with him a lot, let him be himself, don't push him too hard--i don't know. thanks for responding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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my nephew went through a germ-stage, where i was so alarmed by how paranoid of germs he was. things like, he wouldn't chew a piece of gum that my hand touched even slightly before giving it to him out the pack, etc. at school, they were really impressing on them the fact of germs and how important it was to wash their hands, etc. and he didn't now how moderate to be about it all. at any rate, he's 16 now, and a very intelligent, wonderful kid. it was a stage. i don't know how similar that is to your ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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thanks--i am hoping it's a stage too. He's been doing it about a month. thanks alot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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can you remember when this anxiety started - specifically? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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about a month ago i think. i can't recall anything in particular happening around that time that would have caused this to start. I am thinking here.....well, we had this discussion about perfectionism, but that was AFTER this started...I told him that there was no such thing as perfect, blah blah blah...but that was AFTER he started worrying about his hands and his butt. I think maybe he's just under too much pressure with school work. Math is getting challenging (he's finishing up 1st grade) whereas before it was very easy for him. could that be related, do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:18 AM Flag
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of course - and just to help you see another perspectiveyou have mentioned his advanced status [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:20 AM Flag
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^^ finishing 1st grade - several times on your post. Why is this so important to you do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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well, we're homeschooling, so we don't have any basis for comparison with other kids. I am sure it is partially my anxiety but I feel that he's doing fine. Maybe some part of me feels he's "exceptional" (don't we all?) and feel a need to "prove it". Maybe its just that I adored school so much so am reliving this through him. He does enjoy school but also loves soccer, and is a typical boy. I certainly have some perfectionist tendencies, as does DH, and I can see how our expectations for him might be higher than the average parent--not to put down anyone!! But is it wrong to have expectations? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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I think you should stop homeschooling. My SIL homeschools too and it is all about her and not her dcs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:30 AM Flag
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np: ridiculous. i'm not a homeschooler but admire some of them very much. some people are awesome homeschoolers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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some are but I don't think it is fair to the dcs. When it stems from the parents desire to homeschool there is a problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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nnp: I don't admire it or look down on it. It's an individual choice, and like all choices - some are really good and some are really bad, depending on the person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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None of what you are writing is wrong -- but it is too intense for a 6 year old boy. Why cant he be in public for a while to dissipate someof the academic pressure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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numerous times? is that what you were going to say? yea--i worry that he's being pushed too hard. we only school 3 hours a day, so i was thinking 'that couldn't be too much'. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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i think this could very well be a stage, though i agree parents can really help kids get through various stages by saying/emphasizing the right things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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^^sorry, didn't finish there. just want to add that i always forget that kids are worried/preoccupied a lot as well, or can be, depending on what type of thinkers they are. we think of childhood as this carefree time, yet they are really working on things in their minds. though, for YOUR peace of mind, if this keeps up, you can always go see a therapist yourself, just to find out what are the best things to help a child through this phase. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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so in my shoes, what would you say to him when he goes through a roll of tp or washes his hands 10 times? At a certain point, I admit it, I get annoyed and tell him to stop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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couldn't respond above to you, op. but i'm not sure what would be the right thing to say. you might consult with a therapist yourself (not taking your child) but just ask a therapist with a specialty in compulsive behavior (which we all have to some degree) how you can steer your boy away from that. i actually have OCD (though in no way am implying your so does at ALL) but just wanted to say that some compulsive behaviors get treated a little counterintuitively. for instance, we are asked to sit with uncomfortable feelings and not try to solve them. again, i don't think your son is ocd or anything approximating that. it sounds like this is in the range of normal, but it might be helpful to you to seek out expert opinion on sailing him through this stage... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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thanks--we're seeing his ped next week, so i will ask him what he thinks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:49 AM Flag
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It sounds very much related to pressure. When a child acts out this way, it's usually because he's crying out for help. An almost six-year-old has finished FIRST grade? Does that really sound right to you? Ask yourself why 99% of almost six year olds are entering into first grade. And considering cut-offs for privates or some districts, many almost six-year olds are going into Kindergarten this fall. Your child is telling you in these disturbing ways that it's too much for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:13 AM Flag
[ - ] did anyone use my home 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:01 AM Flag
[ - ] I guess it's still too early but anyone gotten a letter this morning? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.15.08, 04:59 AM Flag
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LOL! you and I are on the same wave length. I was going to post the same thing, but figured I would just wait until later. I will be checking throughout the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:09 AM Flag
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np: That's why I'm here, too. DH told me to "give it a rest". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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np: my dh has HAD it with me - i can't let him see me on computer or he will flip out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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quick, HIDE! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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Anyone? We're away, and I'm afraid the letter will get taped to the front door! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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Someone reported on Insideschools that they received a letter today. Anyone else here! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:52 AM Flag
[ - ] i feel lucky that my 96 got a spot at 166. it was my 2nd choice. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 04:54 AM Flag
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OP: but i should say that i am not very happy that all these 99 kids will be there and their moms thinks its a lesser school. ds made 2nd round hunter, btw- there is little difference between most of the 96/97/98/99 scores. could be one or two questions. these moms are crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:00 AM Flag
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My kid got 99, and ita. It's all about perspective, and I predict that they will come around by the first day of school in September, if not way before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:08 AM Flag
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I agree. DD got a 97 and we feel very fortunate to have gotten 166. I'm hoping these moms settle down by the time school starts. I can't believe the sense of entitlement on here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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I can't believe the sense of mediocrity I hear. Women who want to settle. Don't want to make waves or sound as if they think they're children's needs should be served. It's just weird to me. It's the 1950's all over again. Don't fight the system just be polite and take it! And laugh at and insult the women believe the DOE should provide more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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I couldn't agree more. Another 99 here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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Sorry, but I really hate that my 99 DD will be at 166 with a bunch of 90 sibs. They will drag the class down and my kid could have thrived at Anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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Get a grip, lady. Step outside your whiny self and think about it for a moment. If your kid has a 99 and landed at 166, chances are other high scorers also ended up there. Oh, forget it. This just gives the appearance of legitimizing your way of thinking, which is ridiculous to begin with. Poor you. Poor, poor you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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ITA w/ you!! My DD with Nov. b-day went to Round 2 at Hunter(99SB) and 99% on Olsat and 99 on BSRA. We got our 3rd choice, PS166. We think that there will be many other 99/98 kids in her class at it will be a great group of smart kids. Also PS 9 (our 2nd choice) has only 1 G&T K class this year. This means the same 25 kids together K-5 and maybe our sweet smart and very social DD will be happier at PS166 with more kids her age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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do you really think your kid is "gifted" for getting a 99? you are setting yourself and your child up for a lifetime of failure and disappointment. he will never feel like he can live up to the 99 he got on a test when he was 4. he will sense your disappointment in him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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My kid could have thrived at Anderson too, even more so at Hunter. But she's going to love K even though the school wasn't our first choice. She's smart and will do well anywhere, and she'll be doing activities outside of school. School is important, yes, but it's not the only thing. As for the 90 sibs dragging the class down, that is such BS. You know a lot of exceptional kids didn't even make the G&T cutoff, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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My ds recvd a 99/dist 5/have not heard yet///when i refer to the g&t program and scores I just tell people my 4y.o. had a really good day..I am not minimizing his abilities, but there isn't that much of a diff with this scoring...I am happy he did well that day to create better options for us since we are not fortunate to have decent public schools here and cant afford private...now we will see how calm I am when I recv his school results [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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np: Ditto. Did you rank both Anderson and TAG? Are D5 programs any good? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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i have a friend who is in D5 with a 99. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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pressed enter too soon- what are you going to do if you don't get citywides? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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LOL! You do know that even if this test was not flawed many of those 90s are smarter than 99s. It is a very flawed test for four year olds that does not test IQ. Any child who earned a 90+ is obviously very bright. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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D5/99...I ranked Anderson 1st, then Tag...If he gets district I will have to revisit the districts...I dont know much about them..I visited one, not impressed at all. If he doesnt get TAG I will be questioning the DOE since it doesnt sound like many others ranked TAG at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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D5 is different it is the programs, not the dc in them that you have to worry about. However, did you have the new French/English G&T in PS 125 listed on your form? They messed up and didn't put in on everyone's that they should have. GL. I am sure that you will at least get TAG. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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D5//I did not recv PS 125 as an option...if nec I will inquire [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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np: Your chances at TAG are probably very good with a 99. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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You should. They messed up and did not put it on many applications that it should have been on. Several friends called because of this. They all toured and were very impressed. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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I will also ask 'insideschools' for an update. Their info on PS125 is not reflecting the [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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D5/99/boy/recvd 1st choice Anderson...Just recvd by hand delvry w/i last 2 hours ,12p-2p [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Congratulations! I'm so glad another D5 parent made it into Anderson! My daughter is in the second grade at Anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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Here is the option for PS 125 dual language/French & English: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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To d5 poster: I'm assuming you got into TAG. But, if anyone should want the info on PS 125 dual language/French & English program, here it is: Mirlande Jourdan-Pierrot Community Coordinator The Ralph Bunch Public School 125 Mjourdan-pierrot@schools.nyc.gov 425 West 123rd Street New York, NY 10027 (212) 666 - 6400 EXT 190 (212) 749 - 1291 FAX [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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By now, I'm assuming that D5 got into TAG. But, if anyone wants the contact info for PS 125, here it is: Mirlande Jourdan-Pierrot Community Coordinator The Ralph Bunch Public School 125 Mjourdan-pierrot@schools.nyc.gov 425 West 123rd Street New York, NY 10027 (212) 666 - 6400 EXT 190 (212) 749 - 1291 FAX [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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Sorry I posted twice, I didn't see my reply come up the first time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 02:03 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel sick every night the A/C (window unit) is on. Kind of like I have allergies, but I never have: congested, sneezy, headache. Anyone BTDT? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.15.08, 04:52 AM Flag
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Dirty filter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:53 AM Flag
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Are those standard at the hardware store? Can I just wash in sink? Maybe it is MOLD! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:55 AM Flag
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Ours can be popped out and washed. I don't think they are standard (DH went crazy trying to replace on that got really nasty). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:55 AM Flag
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Oh yes...that is how my sinus infection started two years ago. It came from the dirty filters in the air conditioning on my job. They sit there during the winter and spring seasons building up dirt and mold and then suddenly they're turned on in the summer and all of that crap comes out into the air and we breathe it in. Several of us got sick. If your AC is at home, change the filters. If it is at work, insist that maintenance change the filters immediately -- which is what we did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Anybody's kid have Asperger's & apears gfted, but not do well on the G & T test? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 04:50 AM Flag
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Yes! Reading at a 2nd-3rd level, advanced vocabulary, uncanny skills yet bombed the OSLAT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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I think this could be true with a lot of Aspy kids. My friend's son isn't in tune with most adults and would not perform well under the conditions of the test. He's a math genius though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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So is there any sort of exception for these kids for G & T if they don't test well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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I'm not sure. These programs tend to be very rigid toward a certain type of learning - one that may not match the needs of some SN kids, even if they are incredibly smart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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GT will never embrace SN like it should [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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I think that's because it's really just a middle-class retention program in most cases. They accepted siblings as low as 90 this year at many schools - which completely flies in the face of then taking only 99 non-sibs. You know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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^^^I'm not saying none of the kids there are gifted. But certainly they would have no idea of "talented" if they are basing everything on one test score. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] thanks! We are dying here! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 04:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Everyone please update the Master of all master lists. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 04:47 AM Flag
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A lot of us don't even have letters yet! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:48 AM Flag
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I am the OP of that list- thank you! I know I missed a lot of G&T schools, but I think the ones there are the "main" ones? If I missed your school, please, feel free to add it. Thanks and let's keep it updated. Good luck to those of you still waiting to hear! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:11 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone making a special breakfast for Father's Day? I think I'm making black bean omelets with salsa, and home fries. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:41 AM Flag
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sounds good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:42 AM Flag
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DH is having a liquid breakfast - his favorite bloody marys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:43 AM Flag
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Damn, woman. He's a lucky man! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:44 AM Flag
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ITA - I'm having enough trouble keeping the kids from waking DH up to give him his gifts! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:46 AM Flag
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thanks, LOL--I actually have no idea how to make home fries so god knows how they'll turn out. But he was pretty great on Mother's day so this is necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:27 AM Flag
[ - ] when did you start reading your kid muliple chapter books at bed time, what is a good one to start with for a typical boy (cars, trucks, etc.) 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:33 AM Flag
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We started when DS was 3, with Winnie the Pooh. It's kind of a nightly ritual even now with DS and his 2yo brother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:46 AM Flag
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we started with Jungle Book around the time ds turned 4. Also have done Magic Tree House, Wind in the Willows, and we're now reading The Great Brain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:44 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm really upset that my kid didn't get into Anderson. There I said it. I know that we're not "entitled" to Anderson, I jusst really wish we got it. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 04:31 AM Flag
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Did your dc get placed at another school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:33 AM Flag
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Yes. ps 9. I know we are very lucky but still, I wanted her in Anderson. I wanted K-8 and I wanted her to get the accellerated work that we are doing at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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np: You're "really upset" that your kid got into one of the best G&T programs in Manhattan?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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Despite what people say here I know people with dc at other district G&T and they are doing the same work as Anderson dc. Anderson does have the advantage of K-8 though. GL, I am sure that dc will thrive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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We don't have our letter yet, but I know I will be a little disappointed if we don't get into Anderson (and I'm not really expecting that we will). It's normal to feel disappointed. But it doesn't mean your dc won't get a good education or have terrific opportunities down the road. A is a great school, but there are lots of other good schools in this city. Where did you end up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:39 AM Flag
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I know. I made peace with our third choice before we got the letter, but still. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:40 AM Flag
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Are you 99/PS 166 3rd choice mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:43 AM Flag
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Where I live, parents would give an arm and a leg to be able to send their kid to a school like PS9 G&T. You are pathetic! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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ITA. My dc didn't make it fo A neither... I'm happy that we got our 2nd choice (NEST), but it would have been ecstatic if dc got into A. I know how you feel..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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I [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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I know how you feel. I will get over it, but I really liked the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I hope everyone who did not get a letter yesterday gets one today! GL! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 04:07 AM Flag
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thanks! We are dying here! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Those who got your G&T letter, if you choose to hand deliver your acceptance, where do you hand deliver it to? To the DOE, or to the actual school you got? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 03:41 AM Flag
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To the Office of Student Enrollment (52 Chambers Street). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:45 AM Flag
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OP: I can't reply to above poster, but thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:20 AM Flag
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Another question: Does the letter request a response regardless of whether you are accepting or declining? And does it say what happens after we turn our response in? Are we supposed to go directly to the school itself to register our kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:24 AM Flag
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You have to send it in regardless and it says to call the school for further instructions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:34 AM Flag
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OP again: Thanks for the additional info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:37 AM Flag
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I'm not sure if this has been posted already, but there is an option of emailing your response. That's what we're going to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:19 AM Flag
[ - ] when did you go for your first ob appt when preg? how many weeks? when can they hear the heartbeat usually? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:31 AM Flag
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7 or 8 weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 03:36 AM Flag
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for #1 I went at 4wks and OB saw the sac..he had me come back at 6wks and saw HB. For #2 and #3 at 6wks. Both times seeing the HB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:02 AM Flag
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