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06.15.08, 05:09 AM General Topics
21 replies
Need help: my almost 6 year old has a worrisome new habit: he wipes his butt excessively after going to the bathroom, to the point where he clogs the toilet and goes through half a roll of tp. Afterwards, he keeps asking me "do i have poop in my butt?" and then he washes his hands a lot. Throughout the day, I will catch him smelling his hands and then going back to the bathroom to wash them again. This happens maybe 10 times a day. I am worried about this--is it the beginning of a disorder? He's also "perfectionist' in other areas of his life, when he makes a mistake on math homework, he has to erase all signs of the error or even start on a fresh sheet. He is almost 6 but is starting 2nd grade in the fall. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.15.08, 05:09 AM Flag
 

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Wipes might help him feel cleaner, but this does sound excessive. Why is he starting 2nd grade so young? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:13 AM Flag
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he's homeschooled-finished 1st grade math, language arts and so on this year-he will be doing 1st grade science and history, however. I was thinking about wipes--thanks. Just worried about his preoccupation with making things "perfect". We goof around with him a lot, let him be himself, don't push him too hard--i don't know. thanks for responding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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my nephew went through a germ-stage, where i was so alarmed by how paranoid of germs he was. things like, he wouldn't chew a piece of gum that my hand touched even slightly before giving it to him out the pack, etc. at school, they were really impressing on them the fact of germs and how important it was to wash their hands, etc. and he didn't now how moderate to be about it all. at any rate, he's 16 now, and a very intelligent, wonderful kid. it was a stage. i don't know how similar that is to your ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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thanks--i am hoping it's a stage too. He's been doing it about a month. thanks alot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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can you remember when this anxiety started - specifically? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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about a month ago i think. i can't recall anything in particular happening around that time that would have caused this to start. I am thinking here.....well, we had this discussion about perfectionism, but that was AFTER this started...I told him that there was no such thing as perfect, blah blah blah...but that was AFTER he started worrying about his hands and his butt. I think maybe he's just under too much pressure with school work. Math is getting challenging (he's finishing up 1st grade) whereas before it was very easy for him. could that be related, do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:18 AM Flag
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of course - and just to help you see another perspectiveyou have mentioned his advanced status [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:20 AM Flag
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^^ finishing 1st grade - several times on your post. Why is this so important to you do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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well, we're homeschooling, so we don't have any basis for comparison with other kids. I am sure it is partially my anxiety but I feel that he's doing fine. Maybe some part of me feels he's "exceptional" (don't we all?) and feel a need to "prove it". Maybe its just that I adored school so much so am reliving this through him. He does enjoy school but also loves soccer, and is a typical boy. I certainly have some perfectionist tendencies, as does DH, and I can see how our expectations for him might be higher than the average parent--not to put down anyone!! But is it wrong to have expectations? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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I think you should stop homeschooling. My SIL homeschools too and it is all about her and not her dcs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:30 AM Flag
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np: ridiculous. i'm not a homeschooler but admire some of them very much. some people are awesome homeschoolers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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some are but I don't think it is fair to the dcs. When it stems from the parents desire to homeschool there is a problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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nnp: I don't admire it or look down on it. It's an individual choice, and like all choices - some are really good and some are really bad, depending on the person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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None of what you are writing is wrong -- but it is too intense for a 6 year old boy. Why cant he be in public for a while to dissipate someof the academic pressure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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numerous times? is that what you were going to say? yea--i worry that he's being pushed too hard. we only school 3 hours a day, so i was thinking 'that couldn't be too much'. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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i think this could very well be a stage, though i agree parents can really help kids get through various stages by saying/emphasizing the right things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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^^sorry, didn't finish there. just want to add that i always forget that kids are worried/preoccupied a lot as well, or can be, depending on what type of thinkers they are. we think of childhood as this carefree time, yet they are really working on things in their minds. though, for YOUR peace of mind, if this keeps up, you can always go see a therapist yourself, just to find out what are the best things to help a child through this phase. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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so in my shoes, what would you say to him when he goes through a roll of tp or washes his hands 10 times? At a certain point, I admit it, I get annoyed and tell him to stop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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couldn't respond above to you, op. but i'm not sure what would be the right thing to say. you might consult with a therapist yourself (not taking your child) but just ask a therapist with a specialty in compulsive behavior (which we all have to some degree) how you can steer your boy away from that. i actually have OCD (though in no way am implying your so does at ALL) but just wanted to say that some compulsive behaviors get treated a little counterintuitively. for instance, we are asked to sit with uncomfortable feelings and not try to solve them. again, i don't think your son is ocd or anything approximating that. it sounds like this is in the range of normal, but it might be helpful to you to seek out expert opinion on sailing him through this stage... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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thanks--we're seeing his ped next week, so i will ask him what he thinks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:49 AM Flag
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It sounds very much related to pressure. When a child acts out this way, it's usually because he's crying out for help. An almost six-year-old has finished FIRST grade? Does that really sound right to you? Ask yourself why 99% of almost six year olds are entering into first grade. And considering cut-offs for privates or some districts, many almost six-year olds are going into Kindergarten this fall. Your child is telling you in these disturbing ways that it's too much for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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