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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] What are some reasons someone would turn down a spot at NEST or Anderson? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.15.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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The reality of a long commute finally sinks in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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Got to know/be invested in their new private option (if they're holding a place there). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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don't buy into the idea that there is any rhyme of reason for acceleration. gifted children need enrichment not acceleration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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commute, moving, dc has a spot in a private that they'd prefer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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We turned down Anderson for Lower Lab (LL is closer, and parent body seems less crazy about the "gifted" thing). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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This year, or in the past? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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Private [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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Nest is very regimented and while great for some kids not for every kid/family I don't know about Anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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because they are evil and intentionally decided to apply just so they could take a spot away from some poor UB's kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:36 AM Flag
[ - ] Did any non-sib with a score less than 99 get into NEST for K? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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someone posted that yesterday I hope it is not true. my 98 didn't get it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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huh? It is entirely possible that after all sibs and 99s were placed that were still a few seats left at NEST. Since it is lottery within percentiles it could have gone to sone lucky few 98 kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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For those of you keeping score at home... I know of five siblings who applied to NEST. Only one got in and that kid had a 99. -a NEST parent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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huh? this makes no sense. if the sib had a 97, they were automatically in, and if not they couldn't rank nest anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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NP: I think she means that all 5 were hoping to qualify for NEST, but only 1 did, with a 99. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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right, but they didn't apply to nest if they didn't qualify. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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I get your point--- I was just trying to clarify what I think that poster meant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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OP: Fair enough, I should not have used the word "applied." Hoped, intended, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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if only 99s got in it's bad news for nest parents with sibs who didn't make the cutoff and are hoping doe will bend the rules. no way they'll do this now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Weird question: But are pillows with shams (rather than pillowcases) for show only? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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I think so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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Its a washability issue - most shams have decorative trims that cannot withstand the regular washing that standard use would require. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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These are plain - they have a large border, but it is of same basic sheeting material as a pillowcase. Just thinking the big borders will get all crushed looking if we use them (I need two pillows to sleep). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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nothing an iron and light starch wont solve [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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TY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Need Recs for a good car seat for 18mo. She weighs 21 lbs and is 31" if that matters? Can she get a forward facing one yet? TIA! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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yes forward facing at 20 lbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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you can do forward facing at 1 year and 20 lbs. our dd was barely 20 lbs at 1 yr, so we waited until she was 2 to move her forward (well, 22 mos-i forget wt but she was much bigger). we have a britax marathan that we used for both our kids-very happy with it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Why do you care if your kid is doing "accelerated" work? Who cares if your 1st grader can do 3rd grade math? How will that make a difference in the long run? What if your child's brain was allowed to roam freely instead of always being "challenged"? Why do so many parents feel the need to overstimulate their kids? Left to their own devices, on their own terms, it can be amazing what gifted kids' brains can do -- because it's not all about academics. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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I agree. My wish is for DS to be talented, not gifted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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They're just bitter that this whole thing is left to pure chance, and looking for some reason why their dc is more entitled to a spot at Anderson than the next kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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OP: I just don't get the need to be "accelerated." Is it just braggin rights? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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^^^I did math a grade level or two above until high school, when I took my last math class with glee. It has not made a difference in my life. Everyone catches up to the "accelerated" kids at some point, so why the rush? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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Everyone catches up to the "accelerated"kids? No - if accelerated kids are put in the right environment, they accelerate right into more accelerated colleges, and career environments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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everyone does not "catch up". Look around your office. Is everyone equal? Hardly. Having said that, it doesn't matter in the long run if your K child is doing 3rd grade math [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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Yeah, and my boss can barely add. But she's my boss and makes more money than I do. Again, what difference does it make? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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Were you smarter than your peers in grade school? I was. A lot of time spent out of the classroom one-on-one with special teachers. Also a sense that I was missing out on something - that I didn't "get" a lot of what made other kids tick. Its a big big deal socially for gifted kids to be around other gifted kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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OP: This has nothing to do with my question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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I was a kid like this. I felt out of place in a regular class, but absolutely hated the G&T program I was placed in in 4th grade (when it started in my school district). All the moms obsessing here? Just like the moms in my class. Kids had OCD tendencies just like that homeschooling mom posted and were competitive constantly. It was not some "beautiful and creative learning environment." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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Ditto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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I was the gifted child in elementary and had no social problems at all. Always finished my work first, got to run errands to the office, do my homework in class etc. No worries [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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Re: poster below whose kid is manifesting huge anxiety/OCD issues. That "acceleration" is ALL about her and her child is paying the price. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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OP: I can't respond above, but it's a load of bullshit that a 1st grader doing 3rd grade math is going to keep on accelerating right into an "accelerated college" (what is that, anyway?) and career. Do you really believe that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:24 AM Flag
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parents don't have enough self esteem so they live through their dc's, not recognizing what might be best for dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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"accelerated college" - read Ivy or other good college. Of course I believe it. I did this. Went to a crappy grade school/middle school/high school, because there were no better options (rural area). Was pretty bored and miserable throughout. Managed to get into a great college, and finally felt what it was like to be around a peer group that has some intellectual curiosity. Its a big big big deal. I am pursuing G&T for dc for social/emotional reasons, not intellectual reasons. I'm in a building with a lot of kids at a great gen-ed (234). But you know what? most of the k/first graders cant yet do the math that my preschool ds can. And I'm sorry but thats just a big bummer to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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wow. and not a good wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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so on preschool playdates wiht your ds the kids are whipping out math workbooks and comparing abilities. you are a freak. how on EARTH did you MANAGE to get into a great college when your education prior to that was so crappy? That's really amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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You are me. I see nothing wrong with being the best in the class at something and having it come very easy. Why push to the outer limits? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Kids who are accelerated, if they fail to be stimulated, unless they are very self-motivated, run a high risk of being bored and acting out. The kid often develops behavioral issues and get misdiagnosed with ADD or ADHD, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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Really? DD in her non-accelerated class has learned to cope and her imagination has soared -- she writes amazing stories and creates whole universes while the other kids catch up to her. Her teacher tells me she's off-task a lot, but is not "behind" nor a behavior problem (she doesn't try to bring anyone else into her world). I told her teacher I think that's great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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Our school system didn't believe in acceleration. I was in detention or the principal's office nearly every day because I was bored, talking to the other kids and disrupting them. My teachers' eventual solution was to send me to the library after I finished my work. I spent all my time reading. I was able to take college level courses in jr high after taking the SATs when I was 12. Most of my acceleration occurred outside of school. I left hs early. College was a breeze. I did fine left to my own devices, but that was because I didn't mind just reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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then it worked for you. you were allowed to follow your passions and develop a talent and desire to self-teach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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i was perpetually bored in school and don't want the same thing for my dd, that's why i care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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you do know that just because you were bored doesn't mean your dd will be, right? And that being bored is sometimes a good thing, right? and you do know that no school, nowhere, can guarantee your dd won't be *GASP HEAVEN FORBID* bored, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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my dd is even brighter than i was (her iq is in the 160s, mine is 154). for the reasons stated by the poster above, i don't think boredom in school is a good thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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I'm honestly not interested in debating IQ scores, but you can't compare numbers equally from the test you took to the test your dd took. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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The long run is not that important right now. I do want my child to have everything she can right now. She's a fluent reader in K. Why would I want her to have to read K level books? It's not that people want their children to be accelorated, it's that they don't want them to be on grade level when they are past it. It's more about looking for the natural fit for your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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Well said. My brother was light years ahead of everyone else right through school (I was average). He needed stimulation to suit his intellect is the best way I can put it, he didn't always get it. His brilliance still amazes me to this day. Socially he had a very hard time, now as an adult in his forties he is finally settled and happy, but it was a tough road for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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OP:I worry about people who think the only way their very smart kids can be "stimulated" is through accelerated academics at school. Because no school, no matter how "accelerated" is going to satisfy a super smart kid. I also worry about the kids whose very smart brain are not allowed to grow or flourish on their own -- instead being constantly directed and "stimulated" in a particular way (academics, in this case). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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^^^^Probably the very same parents who demand their babies "cry it out" can't seem to let go and let their older kids "get bored" and let their brains "cry it out" and learn how to self-stimulate. It's so sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:52 AM Flag
[ - ] 163 g&t or 87? Also, anyone else feel guilty for giving up a G&T spot that someone else would be grateful to have? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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we feel a little guilty -- but not if our spot would have gone to a kid with freakishly entitled parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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ps87 if closer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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i would do 87. i asked earlier about 166 or msc. can't decide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 10:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here had counseling with DH for parenting issues? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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No experience of this. Parenting style is based on your personality and how you deal with problems. I think that someone needing counseling for parenting issues may also have other more general issues. What are the problems you are having? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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DH has a terrible temper/rage issue and a short fuse. I am accommodating this myself for various reasons but he has blown up an my sons a few times and it is devastating to them. He has agreed to get counseling for this problem (and of course there are many other problems). I wonder if a middle aged man can correct this kind of issue via counseling (not a big fan of it myself) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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I can't reply to your post. I only think your dh can change if he wants to. I don't see that it would be possible for him to improve his behavior with your kids without improving his behavior in general. I don't know if counseling would help but it can't hurt. Consider anger management too. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:36 AM Flag
[ - ] What is the difference between Larchmont and Mamaroneck, in terms of municipalities? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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Larchmont Village, zip code 10538, is in the Town of Mamaroneck and has its own elementary school Chatsworth Elementary School and Summer Camp. Mamaroneck Village zipcode 10543 is partly in the Town of Mamaroneck and partly in the town of Rye and has its own summer camp. The part of the village of Mamaroneck in the Town of Mamaroneck, shares a school district with Larchmont (Mamaroneck School District. The part of Mamaroneck in the Town of Rye is called Rye Neck and shares a school district with a part of Rye (Rye Neck School District). There is also an unincoporated part of the Town of Mamaroneck that is in NEITHER Mamaroneck or Larchmont Village with its own summer camp, one part of it has a Larchmont postal address/zipcode 10538 and the children there are zoned mostly for Murray Avenue School. Another part of the unincoporated Town of Mamaroneck has a Mamaroneck postal address/zipcode and mostly zoned for Central Elementary School and Mamaroneck Avenue Elementary School. A small part of it on the border of Scarsdale and Mamaroneck is zoned for Scarsdale Schools (in this area some homes have a Mamaroneck postal address/zip code 10543 and a few in the area called Murdoch Woods have a Scarsdale Address/zip code 10583. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:09 AM Flag
[ - ] 166 g&t or msc? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.15.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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For my dc I would choose 166 G&T, mainly because I think a G&T will be better for her, but also because 166 has a library (where MSC does not) and a lot more music education, which is important to me. But it really depends on your priorities. MSC is a great school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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my main concern if finding a place he can be happy and thrive through elementary school. i don't know if i'll be happy at 166 all the way through. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:46 AM Flag
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hijack: 166gt or school at columbia? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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OP- i would definitely do columbia. we are on waiting list and would jump at chance. we are faculty, though so we get the tuition break. don't think i would pay full over 166. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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ps166 G&T. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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166 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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166 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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MSC - great all around school, many smart dcs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 04:56 PM Flag
[ - ] my son picks his nose WAAAAY too much--like all the time. Any suggestions how to get him to stop? He's 6. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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must be a 6 yo thing cause that is all mine does (then puts his fingers in hi smouth) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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i read that this is actually healthy. immune system is very dependent on what is happening in the gut and this strengthens it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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constantly tell him to stop, pull his hand away and give a tissue [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:42 AM Flag
[ - ] came home at 11pm last night after sitting in traffic for 2 hours, 2dcs (3yo, 3wo) and there was no power in apartment. had to walk up to 9th floor. dh had plans to go out that night and still did. didn't hear from him until 4am--text that it would be a "late night." never asked about power, came home around 6:30 am. would any of this upset you? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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It's not okay in our house under any circumstances for DH to text me at 4am saying he'll be home later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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what wasyour DH doing out until 6:30? How old is he? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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out for a friend's bday. 39. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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well my DH is hugely inconsiderate so I can't be shocked by his callousness...I am however puzzled by what a grown man is doing out all night, that would bother me a lot more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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hell yes. did you walk up with the 2 kids by yourself? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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no, he brought us home, but if something happened, would have had to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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Well, this would surely be a shitty father's day if my DH did this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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All of that would upset me. A lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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i'd be po'd. there went his father's day gift [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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op: he just woke up and when i told him i was upset that he didn't even ask how we were doing, he got pissed, saying he was "checking in" and that i'm crazy. whatever, not worth arguing about, will just ignore him today. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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ignoring him isn't going to make situation better-maybe when you both calm down, time to start talking [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 06:26 AM Flag
[ - ] all children are gifted. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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Not really [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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no they aren't - mine got a 98 and he's not gifted [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:40 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone move their kids to a vegetarian diet? we're working that way, kids never ate TONS of meat. My kids are 6 and 3--will this be hard? any ideas? anyone btdt? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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how did you sustain the willpower to eat raw for 2 months!!! And still cook your family regular meals. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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^^sorry, meant for post below [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:29 AM Flag
[ - ] i'm 25 weeks preggers and puked last night (normal for this pregnancy). after i puked i looked in the mirror and noticed this horrible rash around my mouth. it almost looks like a broke blood vessels in my skin. what do you think this is? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.15.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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Bulimics get this - it is broken blood vessels from the straining. Old roommate would also sometimes get little broken blood vessels in her eyes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:33 AM Flag
[ - ] I went to public elementary school in Flushing, Queens, and I remember the teachers there being so dedicated and wonderful. I can't recall a single teacher in my junior high and high school in New Jersey (a good school district) who seemed enthusiastic or encouraging. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:11 AM Flag
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We are noticing the same thing after moving to NJ - it's just another job for people here. BUT we didn't go through middle and high school in NY, where I hear from friends the detached teachers are much harder to avoid. I think elementary school teachers in NYC are a different breed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:40 AM Flag