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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Do you think that the way a parent talks to and about their child shapes who the child becomes. I overheard a woman calling her ds (2-3 years old), "lazy" and "dim," but using affectionate tones. Will this hurt the child's identity? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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I think by 2 yo they completely understand what you are saying. I stopped calling my dd shy in front of her since i believe that affects her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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"identity"... not sure what that means. but of course it hurts self esteem. labeling kids is definitely considered a no-no these days. they say you should focus on behavior instead, rather than the child's character. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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did the child hear it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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OP: Child was right there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
[ - ] would you let your 4.5 mo cry it out a bit at night? We know he isn't hungry, but he is still waking up almost every hr. Sleep has been inconsistent since day 1. Has slept through the night and has not. There is no pattern. The only thing that gets him back to sleep is nursing. In own crib, btw. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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He's only 4.5 mo ! FYI, being a mom is actually a bit exhausting so go and tend to him ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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i would. you don't have to refuse to go in all night. you can try if he wakes up and fusses at all but doesn't cry, or pick a time - say, you won't go in before 11 or midnight or whatever modified system works for you. don't let other people guilt you into not sleeping at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
[ - ] DH and I are moving from Helena, Montana to New York and I am kinda worried. I mean, there are so many people in New York and I know that I'll be mugged daily. What is the best way I can avoid daily muggings? Also, how do I make sure cab drivers don't beat me up? Any advice would be really helpful. 78 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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Wear a hockey mask at all times. And carry a bat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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Stay put. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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We have to move, DH got a new job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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is the same the same poster who is afraid her dh will be attacked by a random killer in L.A. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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No, I don't know who that is? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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Never speak to minorities and if you must, speak DOWN to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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I don't know any minoriities now. Will I meet them in New York? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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we'll find you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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how? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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You will be the yokel chewing on hey with they white hood on? Right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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don't know that there are many kkk in montana [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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They closed down the chapter after they ran all the minorities out of town? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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you smell different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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that cowering expression on your face [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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i am a confident woman and I like to go to aerobics. I hope I can find a talented aerobics teacher in New York. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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they have public aerobics in Times Square. anyone can start it, then everyone just joins in. you should try it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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I will do that. Sounds like a great bonding experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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but you are an easy target for a mugger! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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you obviously haven't been there. EVERYONE joins in! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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lol...or if you want to make a good impression. if you see someone who looks like a hoodlum, just say "yo, dude. show me your colors" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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Hoodlums have good fashion sense? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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do you want to write a serious post or are you just looking to get flamed? or are you really that ignorant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I need advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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well then stop with the idiot comments and ask a serious question. PSA: New York is one of the safest, if not the safest, large city in the nation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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The largest city I've ever been to is Salt Lake City [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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Crime rates in Manhattan are very low. I've lived here for 10 years and never been mugged. I'm incredibly offended not just by your ignorance but by the medias perpetuations (CSI-NYC, Law and Order...) that Manhattan is dangerous. The only piece of advice I give out of towners is that there is always safety in numbers, so at night stay in busy places with lots of people. Oh, and careful about cabs as they are known for luring innocent white Montanese into their cabs and selling them into slavery...And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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HA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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I figured that was fake about the cab drivers, but I heard from my neighbor that when her DH went to New York, his cab driver beat him up and left him on the street corner and then a hooker beat him up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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when was this? sorry. a hooker beat him up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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He was in New York on business about 2 years ago. He said he was taking a cab adn the cab driver beat him up and tossed him out of the cab and then a hooker came over and started hitting him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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story sounds highly suspect, unless he was engaging the hooker and the cabbie was her pimp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Wow. I never thought anything of it. I would be surprised if was engaging a hooker, I mean he's a little league coach and active in our church. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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sounds like a john to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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Would he be? I would be so stunned. I mean he's a good guy. Why would he use a hooker? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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ever hear of Elliot Spitzer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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allow me to introduce you to a faker. good lord. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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Here's a great NYer trick most people won't tellyou: Don't lock your apt door. It makes it easier to get in quickly if you are being chased. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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Wow, I will keep that in mind. But what about when I am in the apartment. I don't want gangs to come in the middle of the night and terrorize me and DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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you and DH should join a gang as soon as you arrive for protection. word ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Are gangs really for married people? Also, how does one join? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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most especially for married people... you'll meet great contacts and other like-minded couples that way... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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Do they have websites where DH and I can learn about benefits and group activities? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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you're here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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just make sure you hide the good towels. they always go for the good towels [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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I will make sure I do that. I don't wnat to lose them, I mean I got them at my wedding. What about DH's grandmother's crystal decanter, is that safe? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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nah, but guard the sheets too. anything above 300-thread-count [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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Oh god, I can't lose those.....they are the only thing DH and I sleep on. Should DH start wearing clothes to bed, in case the gangs come in? He currently wears a t-shirt and briefs to bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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as long as it has booze in it. Gang members are allergic to booze. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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FAKE [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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no duh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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omg, no REALLY???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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ignore all these other posters. If you really can't convince your dh not to take this job then you will simply have to stay in your apartment unless he accompanies you and your dcs. Maybe he can pay for a body guard. That [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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ita. everyone has either a bodyguard or is packing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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well I love to hunt and I like guns, so i can carry one in my purse at all times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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Another helpful inside secret: True NYers know that the rich get treated better, so wear flashy jewelry when you are out. If it is night time and the jewelry might not be noticeable, walk around counting a large wad of cash. This way the muggers will know you are not to be trifled with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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and if you go to Chinatown, make sure you wear diamond stud earrings. they're very impressed by those [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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lol, I remember that post! Good old days of UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Are you sure? MIL's best friend was robbed of her favorite diamond necklace when she came to New York 10 years ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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10 years ago there were a lot of out of towners coming to NYC. The criminals followed them here and didn't know how things here worked yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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ah ok, that's good to know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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If you find a cabbie willing to get out of his seat to come abck there and beat you up, tip him double. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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Is that custom to tip them for beating you up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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You aren't tipping him for beating you up. You are tipping him for doing something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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you will prob get mugged, all scared transplants like you do. the NYC dirtbags can smell you coming [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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What do I do if I get mugged? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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if you're going to carry on with this, at least try to be somewhat witty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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throw your purse away from you and run in the other direction [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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What neighborhoods should I avoid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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Upper East Side, Tribeca, West Village, Turtle Bay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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I heard that the West Village has a lot of weird things happening in it. I also heard that Brooklyn was a borough to only go to for drugs or sex. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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Totally not true. You can go to Brooklyn for drugs AND sex also. And Brooklyn also has great McDonalds' and the best Dominoes Pizza in the US! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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Well DH and I don't use drugs and we have sex with each other, so we don't have to go to Brooklyn for those. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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OK then, more for us... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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Don't believe the psoter above. It isn't so much neighborhoods... you want to avoid any odd numbered blocks where traffic heads toward the west or even blocks which head east. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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That seems a bit weird. I know to aviod Brooklyn and anything above 100th Street, Central Park at night, and to not go near someplace called Murray Hill during teh hours of midnight to 9 AM. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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If you want to get the most out of NYC you can't ignore whole areas like that. You have to won them. But be smart in how you do it. Dress nicely, put on your flashiest accessories, a nice perfume -- then own Central Park at midnight! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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are we neighbors? turtle bay, murray hill? I also live in that neighborhood in Montana. :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 12:46 PM Flag
[ - ] gluten free diet for 4yo. Any hints on how to start, etc? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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We started in October and we just went cold turkey (with a few exceptions: chicken nuggets are still in the rotation, as is restaurant pizza 2 x month). He complained for awhile, but has gotten used to it by now. He was a very restrictive eater to begin with, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Just found out my OB/GYN practice is no longer doing OB. I had a regular check up 6 months ago and have been ttc sinc ethen too. Worth finding a new practice now before pg and getting check up to meet a new doc or just wait and see if I get pg and call a new one? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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TTC 06.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Can you call your current gyn and ask for a referral? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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I actually know of another one that friends go to and are very happy with. Just not sure when to call. If I end up with problems getting pg (not going well so far) I think my current practice would be good to stick with. But, what if I get pg and have no OB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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you're not pg yet, go to your current doc. when you are pg, move to the other OB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? I was my 3 year old's pre-school this morning attending the "last week of school party" about six other parents showed up. I was sitting in the corner with my dd and two other kids (all three years). When it was time to clean up, I started to put the blocks away and encouraged my dd to help. Another child started freaking out, threw the blocks out of the box saying "I'm not cleaning up." I asked him if he wanted to help us clean up and he said, "No, I hate you," and then hit me in the face with a block. I was completely shocked and began to look around for his mother. She was no where to be found. I removed my dd and left him to continue throwing blocks. Should I have done something else? What are your thoughts? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Nope, I would have walked away from the brat too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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you did fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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where was the teacher? i would have told her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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yeah, a teacher should have swooped in at some point during this exchange. Start looking for a new pre-K if no one did any thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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why bother? OP was there for a party, school is over, and she's going to tell on a 3 yo that threw a block? a little ridiculous imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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because its part of the teacher's job. the teacher will be teaching other kids next year and hopefully will intervene in situations like this and not let kids behave like this. its not about "tattling" on the kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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eh. it seems a little ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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amen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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OP: The teacher eventually walked over and gently picked the child up saying, "we don't hit." During other classroom activities (early in the year), this child was always very aggressive. My dd reports that "x is mean." and "I don't like x." So I guess I should have been warned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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all classes have a kid like this, sometimes more than one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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no big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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ita -- OP is talking about 3 yos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:26 AM Flag
[ - ] 2.5 yo ds is ready for a bed, but we're about to move across country. Do we get the bed (a) now, a month before the move; (b) when we move, to avoid one change after the next, or (c) after the move, to spread out the changes? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.16.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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definitely after the move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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op: meaning a few weeks/months after the move? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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oh... I meant when you move. I think a "big boy bed" would help him get excited about being in a new place. sorry for the confusion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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I would do it when you move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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op: at the same time? interesting... that's what ds's teacher and my mil said. i thought it would be too much but i guess it makes sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] every time i come back on ub, i am reminded that the women on here are a bunch of control freak co-dependents with very little self-regard 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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I take offense to that. I regard myself quite highly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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So don't come back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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later for you then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
[ - ] how do i get 15mo to let me brush her teeth? best i've been able to do so far is to stick the toothbrush in there, and sometimes she'll chew on it or suck on it, but i can't actually brush any of her teeth. she's got half- 3/4 of her teeth so far. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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we started with tooth wipes, kid may be happier having your finger in her mouth than a toothbrush. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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I tell myself that letting db chew on the brush still does some good. Also, I posted for the other poster below -- try the electric toothbrushes for kids and do it once db is in the bath. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
[ - ] still waiting for DOE g&t results at 10021. Anyone else??? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Question: When you are waiting for G&T, do you already have a private school placement ? What do people do if they have paid deposit on a private and then get into a G&T? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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they are SOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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eat the money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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save thousands of dollars [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:22 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone get 110? what was dc score? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Yes, 94. But we're not going. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Did anyone email or call Anderson to get any kind of registration or orientation info? Who should I call? Donna Smiley or Marcie Shaw? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I emailed Donna this morning. They will be finalizing a date for orientation & registration today or tomorrow. They had planned to do it this week, but can't because some people don't have their letters yet and families have until Friday to make their decision. Tentative dates are June 23 or June 25, and it sounded like they will do the registration, orientation and picnic/cocktail party all in 1 event. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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op: Thank you for the info. I emailed them and will wait patiently. See you next week! Do you have a dd or ds? I have a dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Every day for the last 3 weeks all I've eaten is artificial crab meat mixed with sour cream. Is this wrong? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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just lost my appetite! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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you must be pg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Actually I'm not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Reading all these posts makes me happy that dcs started school in bad old days when begging, pleading, and promises of being very active in PTA were enough to get dcs into good publics. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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As much as I loathe the DOE, I would loathe even more feeling like the kids of the squeaky wheels got the coveted spots. I know a parent like that, and boy, does she work the system. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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Hello, letter by courier? The DOE knows who the squeaky wheel is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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i actually commend to DOE for doing away with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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