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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I can't put my finger on it, but I really hate the new UB site. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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hate? really? why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Sometimes I think I'd like to live in a separate apt than dh. DD would go back and forth. We'd still be monogamous and married. JUST HAVE OUR OWN FREAKIN' SPACE!!!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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My dream too - a duplex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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yeah, some days i feel like that. but i like sleeping in same bed with him. even though we're just asleep most of the time i feel like we reconnect in our sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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My dream home has always been two separate apartments across the hall from each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay, I need some ivf success stories. Anyone in their early 40's? Need encouragement. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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IVF #1 worked for us (I was 39 at the time). Can't recommend Spandorfer at Cornell highly enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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worked for me -- had db#1 just before my 44th birthday. good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok, if dh said "you're fat;I'm not attracted to you anymore, unless you drop some weight...I see plenty of women who take much better care of themselves.." What would be your reactions? Would you be thankful that at least he's honest...? Alternatively, what runs through your head when you see a worn out and bloated mum? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.16.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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I would laugh and laugh. Signed, Bloated and Worn Out Mum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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there are ways to say things and there are ways to say things. i'd have a serious issue being married to someone who could be that thoughtless and self centered. it sounds like a threat. not cool. what if you lost weight and a lot of others found you more attractive too. can you then go out with them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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Excellent point, that sounds fair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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did your dh say this to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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No, My bf's husband told me this about my bf. I feel enlightened by his statement. I admire his honesty, but I still think it's really offensive...any thoughts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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The fact that he told you (whether instead of or in addition to his wife) is more offensive to me than the comment itself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I asked him what the hell he thought I was supposed to do? It's not like I care diet pills in my purse. I get that it's wrong, but would it be better if he did cheat on her or belittle her in front her kid...I think he thought I would be able to steer her in a better direction... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter. The betrayal of intimacy is the issue. Maybe she's eating because she's in a lousy marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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ITA. Was he testing the waters, since evidently he thinks you are one of the women who "take much better care of themselves"? From all evidence he is a total a-hole. I suspect you are, too, with your "trying to steer her in a better direction" comment. Is getting fat and out of shape really a dereliction of human duty? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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Hey, I bust my butt to make time to workout. I think the guy is total d*c*. I also think that it's also not a good example for your children. I don't think it reflects on me at all... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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i think you're looking way too much into OPs response. you have no idea why this man talked to her. maybe he does want her to help his wife instead of saying it directly to her. there is a reality to what he's saying. and he's prob right not to tell his wife directly. altho i'm not sure telling her friend is much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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My reaction would be that it's not respectful of you, the mother of his kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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That's an a-hole comment, but unless I had no other obligations than to drop my children off at their all-day school, I might ask DH what he's gonna do about it? Is he going to take care of the children while I work out? Is he going to bitch about the new food regimen in the household? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Her dh is a consultant, he works crazy hours, works out in airports and never eats...btw how do men live like that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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so it sound slike he's hardly ever home. i'd say it's a good bet he's thinking of cheating or already has and is using her weight as an excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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I think he's too nerdy to cheat, but I do think that he lusts after other women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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you never know about people. i'm always surprised. that said, perhaps steer him to therapy. and her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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Amen to that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I would feel horrible for a couple of days, but it sound like part of you agrees with him. Tell him you need his supportto lose eight and get in shape. For example, I need to get up at 5 and exercise and I need you to watch db, or I need you to get home a bit earlier and i will go to the gym. Make it happen and you will feel great about yourself....what he thinks is really secondary. hne I see overweight Moms I feel sorry for them> [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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If I see a worn out and bloated mum, I think she doesn't get much help and support from her DH. Most people get like that because they have no time to take care of themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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i probably look worn out, not sure about the bloated. I am constantly a mess, but it has nothing to do with DH. I just don't feel hte need to get all dolled up (or even shower for that matter) when doing errands or running around the city with DS. If you saw me on a saturday afternoon I am sure yu would think I was a mess. But if you saw my Saturday night, i would look hot. I can do it when I want, I just don't want to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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I would tell hiim that I see plenty of men who takes better care of themselves, too, and that if he wants to diet and exercise with me, I'll be happy to start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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What if he had told me that he was completely unsatisfied in bed? That he was bored out of his mind? or that She did something weird with her tongue? Would that be more or less offensive than tell me that he's less attracted to her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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np i think that would be a lot worse. the stuff he told you i can kind of understand. maybe he's turning to you bc he's feeling this way abt his wife and needs to talk abt it. her best friend will be on her side. he knows that. if dh said this to my best friend, even if she thought it was obnoxious, i think she'd have my best interest at heart when talking to him about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Can I cook a semi-frozen steak? I moved from freezer this morning, still frozen on inside. I'm starving! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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do you have a microwave? defrost is the only thing i like abt them. that or running it under hot water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Microwave on defrost for 3 minutes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I find out the rules about plastic water bottles? Camp gave out water bottles w/ a "2" in a triangle under it. Is that safe? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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It's fine. Google. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Thanks I did google and could not find the info I needed. Could you reccomend a search term or a web site? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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safe plastic numbers turned up this: http://domesticgoddesses.tribe.net/thread/243d1968-ce4d-4345-9a60-286eb3705e62 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Incoming K Anderson mom here and just logged on after a grueling day of work and kids. Is it true that Anderson is delaying registration because some sibs did not get in? I am freaked out by this. Can they take away offers once made. We gave up a private spot today and would be totally screwed if that happened. It seems other schools are having registration starting tomorrow (NEST, ps166, ps9...as posted about here tonight). Who do I call? Also, people are saying anderson is planning to have registration during a welcome picnic. Is that true or just UB rumor? I am feeling very uneasy here. Someone quell the anxiety. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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I don't see how they can rescind offers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I think you are supposed to call the school. Didn't you do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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Away attending a funeral over the weekend. Got letter late last night. Emailed acceptance from work, but haven't had a minute til now to think straight. I was planning on calling tomorrow when I would have time to go over there. Very hard to get away from work right now. was out for a couple of days for death in the family, and am currently swamped and trying to catch up. I don't even know if I can get to a picnic next week. was thinking on taking dc with me and showing him the school when we register. surely they will not make all 50 of us come in at once? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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OMG the Anderson moms really ARE crazy. And ps, there are more posts here by Anderson moms than any other new parent group. With only 50 spots, what does that say about the parent population? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Doesn't the Master List show that there are more new Anderson families than any other G&T this year? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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No, the master list shows that there are more neurotic Anderson moms on UB than any other school. You are a joke you think a poll on UB is indicative of the outside world or the greater city? UB is a small cloister and the type of mom who preps and pushes to get her kid into Anderson is the kind of mom who comes here, and more to the point, the kind of mom who takes the time to publish her "triumph". My kid got into a decent school and I didn't bother to post it because it wasn't my #1 priority when I logged on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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honey, if you are here, we know your priorities and your personality. gimme a break! you are no better than any of us...not even the A moms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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OK, OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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I'm sorry - I meant more new A families on UB, not in general of course. But beyond that, why are you frothing about Anderson moms so much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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oh, go away O'Bitter One. Some of us are really happy to get Anderson, and are a bit worried that they are not proceeding with registration like everyone else. It would be just my luck this week to have my grandmother die, get a spot at anderson and have it taken away right after I drop a spot at private for which I have paid an entire year's tuition. Just my luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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maybe there will be some justice for all the high 99 scorers who got stuck at ps 166 and the like. You think you are special. you are not. You are obnoxious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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np: whoa...you sound like bitter ps166 3rd choice mom. I know...I am here entirely too much, and we are not even applying for this year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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Well wouldn't you be bitter if a bunch of average 99'ers won the lottery or got sib preference w/ 97's and your kid was sent to 166 crap school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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yes, if my kid were exceptionally smart, i would. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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Well, there ya go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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No, not really. Years ago, D3 G&Ts went by catchment and siblings so that no one had a chance at PS 9 unless you lived in the zone or had a sib there. And the cutoff was 90%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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that was years ago, and this is now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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Relax. They would never do that. I suppose you could sue them, especially since you lost your spot elsewhere under the belief that you had a spot at anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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I also read UB rumor that this was happening because of Regents exams at middle school. Don't go by UB rumor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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but someone reported here that NEST told her to come tomorrow to register. Don't they have Regents exams too? Also, someone said anderson was delaying because they did not have the list, but ps166 reported here to have orientation tomorrow. someone also said that anderson could not contact people because they don't have the list. can't they just receive people as they come in with an acceptance? I don't like the way this sounds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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ps 9 called us today to tell us to come register for G&T tomorrow and to attend thursday morning's new parent/child event. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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See. That is what I mean. How could Anderson not have planned for this? Every school is doing something. I just don't buy that they want to wait because they have no idea who has accepted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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np: it a heck of a way to welcome new families. I think they need to allow registration and make the picnic next week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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I will tell you this: The principal, parent coordinator and vice principal all wanted admission to be based on raw scores, not a lottery. They know that there are kids all over this city who are supposed to be at Anderson this year and didn't get a spot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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well, you know what? You really shouldn't be posting this, nor should they be saying it. for those of us who got a spot, it is really not a great feeling to think the school doesn't think your kid should be there. if they don't welcome all these new K families, thecontributions to the school will suffer, and anderson will go down by its own hand. so please let all of the above know that the new lesser kids have parents who would like to have closure on this whole friggin' year, OK? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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wow! You go girl! and i 'll be right behind you!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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np: and many of those kids did get a spot. I think it is an ego thing. Like they should get to decide everything. well, they are part of the doe. they need to understand that. way too entitled is all I can say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Sorry artist/moms, here's the link. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Still no link [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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does this include writer/dramatic arts moms, or strictly visual artists? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Any art moms, really. One of the questions asks what sort of art but there's an "other option" as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Anderson you all are crying about is Anderson Cooper? Wake up ladies, he is gay 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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lol. it's a school lady [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Didn't you hear - 99 is a new position. If you aren't flexible enought to do it he won't date you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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no way, he is vanderbuilt, not olsat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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awe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Oh! I needed a good laugh!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Poll: Are you a strong advocate for sleepaway camp; will you send your kids, reluctantly, if they want to go; or under no circumstances would you send your kids away? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I'll send my kids for a couple of weeks or three or four, when they are 10+ yo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I loved it (I begged my kids to send me when I was 11). I'd send my kids if they want to go (and if I can afford it), but I won't pressure them--or even really suggest it unless they seem interested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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You begged your kids to send you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Ooops. Begged my PARENTS to send me. Funny slip. Nowadays, I'd beg me kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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BIG, BIG fan -- but I think that you need to spend time finding the "right" camp for DC. (I'm not impartial -- I work as an assistant director of a day camp.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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I agree! I spent all year looking forward to camp, but my brother, sister and I ultimately ended up in three different types of camps. Some kids are ready to go away at earlier ages and for longer periods of times than others as well. My sister never got homesick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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Dc goes to sleepaway camp. I don't really care whether dc goes or not. Totally dc's choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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i woudl send dd if she wants to go. i'd prefer she do some sort of away program, but hopefully not the same boring sleepaway canmp i went to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Its either a Jewish thing or a fundamentalist christian thing. the rest of us keep our dcs close at hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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I'm neither Jewish nor fundamentalist Christian, and I loved my secular sleepaway camp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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lol... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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baloney [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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Oldest dc is going this summer for the first time at 10. It is his choice to go, prior to this year he did not want to go and that was ok too. I had s great sleepaway experience, went from the time I was 8 until 15. I really want my dc to have the experience, but I would have never pushed it on him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Sending my 8 YO DS to one week at my old sleepaway. He's very excited! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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If they go at a young age, say 11 and under, be prepared for them to HATE it for a couple days, and then all the sudden get into the groove. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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Selfishly could not send my kids away. It's the only time they're free and I want to keep them near. But know plenty of people who send their kids and say the kids love it, so no criticism against them implied (though I did think sending 7-y-o for 7 weeks was a lot). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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7-y-o for 7 weeks is just crazy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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I just see it as unnecessary. Our kids don't need a "fresh air fund experience" and I think 8, 9, 10, 11 year olds shoudl spend some tiem with their families instead of being sent out on their own (or exposed to the idea that that is an option). FWIW, DH went at age 6, yes 6 for 8 weeks and stayed a camper through high school. I think his mother was sick of him fighting with his brother and wanted to play golf more often. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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just another NYC bragging thing: Oh, my daughter is going to Maine...yes to Viga (or Veegah) or however you spell it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:36 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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Bragging? How could that be bragging? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:54 PM Flag
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No, camp is REALLY fun for 90% of the kids there. You have to know your child (my sister cried for three weeks after camp and could have stayed for four months, my brother hated it and went to my grandparents instead, I was somewhere in between). All of the camps aren't upscale, and at the fancy ones they often make you wear an ugly uniform so they end up being less flashy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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i loved it and dd is going for 2 weeks this summer - she's 8. she goes to the same camp as her cousins. I don't see anyting wrong with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:58 PM Flag
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never [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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I loved it as a kid, but if dc doesn't want to, that's okay, too. I think going away for more than 2 weeks before the age of 13 or 14, might be too much for some kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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i'm not really a strong advocate but i can see myself doing it when they get older, providing we can afford it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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I think it's a great opportunity. I wish dd wanted to go, but she has no interest whatsoever. I loved sleepaway camp when I went as a teen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Just told DH I wasn't super happy in our marriage these days. He was shocked and devastated. Now I feel like an ass but I've been holding it in for a while now and I felt like we should work on things. I thought he'd agree and he was just shocked. Did I just screw up? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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no. you hae to talk abt these things. my only question is how did you bring it up? there are many ways to say a thing. and it's always best to say it in the most constructive way possible. (i know it sounds obvious, but it's very hard to actually do) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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he can't be that surprised, unless you are a really good faker [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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I would explain how much you want to work on things and you want them to be better so you'll both be happy again--that's why your brought it up. good luck, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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I don't think that you screwed up, but try really hard to give him concrete fixable things. Don't be overly broad. Make sure that he feels loved because he will probably be more sensitive for awhile (assuming you still do love him). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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