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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Please tell me any good rec's for toys that teach letter writing/early reading-DS is turning 4 this month and want to buy some "educational" non-Superhero toys for him. Thanks! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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does he have a leapster? that's a great toy and they have a ton of educational games. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Yes but only 1-2 games-which games are the best ones for a 4yo? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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the leap start letter factory ones are really good, counting on zero, the thomas the train one. the spiderman one is too hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] How would you feel if your nanny brought her children with her one day a week over the summer months as she could not afford summer camp? Similar ages to your own kids, would bring one one week, then the other the next so not too many kids all at once. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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i'd be fine with it. kids will have fun playing with each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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depends whether her kids have any chemistry with yours, i know my dc just won't play with some kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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how many kids does she have? i think it would depend on the disposition of her children. do your kids get along with her's? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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I'm the nanny, my boss has two girls and so do I. One of mine is laid back, the other is very funny, but can also be difficult at times (not listening). The kids adore each other. I was thinking more from a parent's/boss's point of view...how would an employer feel about this set-up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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I'm the poster below -- if you can handle 4 and they all get along, I would be fine with it all the time. The only issue is classes/camp -- if your employers kids are in classes, will it be weird for your kids to not be able to go to the classes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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No they are not in camp, I only work 7 hours a day as I work for a SAHM, the older dd will start a nursery program in Sept. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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how old are all the kids? are your kids going to be in camp? honestly, if it worked out, I would let her bring them everyday. My dd was best friend's with our nanny's dd (they were 18 months apart). It was great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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I have had this situation. It worked for a while, but there were a few underlying issues that couldn't be resolved well. (1)If my kids had playdates/special activities, then all the kids had to traipse over for pickup/dropoff. I wasn't going to fund activities for the nanny's kids. (2)There was just a little too much sibling rivalry going on between nanny's 2 kids and my 2 kids for nanny's attention. (3) My youngest one ended up being "the middle child" in all of this, and didn't get to really appreciate having the advantages of being the "baby". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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That's why I was thinking take only one of mine along per week, so I have three total to watch at one time. I would make a point of explaining to my child that this is my job and they to understand that if they come with me they are not #1 whilst they are there. It would be a privilege to come to mummy's workplace, that could be taken away if they act up too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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PP: I go along with the poster below. Having had the situation going for about 2 years, I can say it would have been fine on a "once in a while" basis. Like 1X/wk or less. It really depends on the whole set-up. I really wouldn't go for it on a regular basis. It works more for the nanny than the employer. We can all be pc and say it's fine, but having been through it, I will say that it was not fine. PS the kids were great, and the nanny was great, but the mix didn't work long term. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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My nanny brings her daughter with her every now and again. It works beautifully. I would only consider it on a case, by case basis though. I would never broadly endorse a nanny bringing her dc to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Good private schools worth the $$$$, if you can afford it. Publics start strong, but by 3rd grade they start to really suck All zoned publics suck by 3rd grade thanks to NCLB and the endless test prep on just two subjects 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Don't you get bored proselytizing on two separate boards? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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don't you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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agree, i know that even 116 gen ed gets that way by 2nd grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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Unfortunately I agree, but can't afford private tuition. NCLB is crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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NCLB is Bush's trick to fuck public education [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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Obama for President!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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no president will ever fix schools in this country. problems run too deep socially. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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Go Hillary! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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Hopefully NCLB can be done away with. Parents need to ask questions about test prep, testing, diagnostic testing etc and let their voices be heard. We need a good Boston Tea Party over this crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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and you know this because your children are how old? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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OP:6 and 10 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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and how many zoned publics have they experienced? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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Yeah, but not many of us can afford it. Thanks for rubbing it in, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] am soooooooo upset. Help me down someone. DH just told me he wanted to "have a chat" and proceeded to tell me he feels like our relationship is like a "business relationship".He works 7-7 and i am a sahm with help only one day a week for 1 db 6 months old. He does hardly ANYTHING to help with the baby and when he does i always feel like he isnt careful so i intervine just for db's saftey. He says i am picking on him. Our sex life is all about him completely- beyond selfish. I feel like i am on the verge of divorce. Am i ? I feel like i am so unappreciated for all i do for db and now he says that we are in a business relationship. EFF YOU DH! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.16.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Well what does he want to do about it? Did he say "I'm in love with you and miss you?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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he just wanted to talk about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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but that is good. He is saying that he misses you. Can you spend some time alone with dh? You need to reacquaint yourself with the person with whom you fell in love. Maybe he's awkward and that was not the best way to express himself but you know at least he tried! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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you need to give up control if you want help from dh.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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honestly, he sounds a tad selfish but totally normal for 1st year after 1st baby. would highly recommend counseling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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or - ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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oh boy, this isn't good. It sounds like a couple of things are going on. . . he might be very jealous of the relationship you have w/db and the fact that you aren't letting him do things on his own further undermines his self-esteem and makes him mad at you. Then he starts to resent you and the baby for taking his life and his sense of self away. Having a kid can be really tough on a marriage. If you guys were solid beforehand then don't worry, this is just one of those terrible bumps in the road you will both get through. You need to keep talking to one another about what's happening and get him to express himself. He could also be totally stressed out that he is the sole person financially and that added pressure could be wearing him down. He's not going about this the right way, but he sounds jealous and insecure. You need to talk this through and get him to express himself without judgement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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good advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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man, you sound very angry and resentful, a bit controlling and enjoying the mommy martyr status. I would bet it is hard for him to help you if this is your general attitude toward him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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why do you say that?> [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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you don't let him help you because you think he's being unsafe? talk about undermining him. you have one db and have help one day a week? that's a fair amount of help for a mom of 1 small db. I personally can get caught up in running the household myself, and can see from a DH perspective that the marriage can turn into business - a lack of tenderness. It's easy to resent him when you're dealing with a baby. He becomes the scapegoat for your frustrations, but that will not help your marriage at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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NP and I agree. Stop acting like the baby is yours alone, and like you have a harder job than he does. Taking care of 1 6mo may be boring or isolating, but it is not difficult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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wow, I feel like I just wrote this!!!!!!!! I have 5mo and literally am in the exact same situation. we should talk! not sure if you've ever tried couples therapy. we did over a year ago (before we got pregnant). it helped for a while but we need more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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i think he might be open to it. Whats going on in your marriage? where do i find a couples therapist in nyc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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my husband and i have had the conversation also about not him feeling like he is last on the list of things. i also haven't had a full nite's sleep in 5 months but he doesn't see to think that affects anything. we found a couple's therapist thru our insurance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:49 AM Flag
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when was the last time you went out on a date? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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For starters, stop "intervening for db's safety." No wonder he hardly does anything to help with the baby. Anyway, you are not on the verge of divorce, you are just in the big adjustment of having a baby. Keep talking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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the reason he hardly does anything is because you pick on him when he does. Back off. Get an eveining sitter for dates. Stop being a martyr. Its hard being a SAHM or the first few months but do not alienate dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Good private schools worth the $$$$, if you can afford it. Publics start strong, but by 3rd grade they start to really suck All zoned publics suck by 3rd grade thanks to NCLB and the endless test prep on just two subjects 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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We're entering 5th grade at PS 6 in the fall and it doesn't suck. It's a great place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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What does your poor DC know about European/Asian Geography?? History? Science? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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poor baby. No asian geography. Call Frank Campbell. His life is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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i agree, in public schools it's all about attendance, and math and reading scores. they are not even hiding that. middle school admissions are based only on those 2 scores, so who cares about greeks and romans :-( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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Lots. Are you at PS 6? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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No at PS87. I doubt they are THAT different. So tell me what grade and what curriculum - outside Math and Reading [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:29 PM Flag
[ - ] How bad is it? I know it's bad, but do I need a new Doctor: often when I go to my shrink she needs me to refresh her memory on the medication tweaks we've made (adding a new one, more of another etc). It seems so innocent when she does it, but it's happened about 5 times where she's thought I was on something I wasn't. And she has no idea the mgs I'm on. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.16.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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That's terrible, get someone new pronto. I'm a psychologist and this horrifies me. I mean I know tons of quacks too, but to not even know the meds, to be too stupid to look at a chart before your patient comes in. This substandard care should not be tolerated by you at all. I would find someone know immediately and have a few words with your dr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] How bad is it? I know it's bad, but do I need a new Doctor: often when I go to my shrink she needs me to refresh her memory on the medication tweaks we've made (adding a new one, more of another etc). It seems so innocent when she does it, but it's happened about 5 times where she's thought I was on something I wasn't. And she has no idea the mgs I'm on. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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Maybe she's testing you to see if you are participating in your own care [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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that would be a really sucky thing to do (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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I think that is pretty bad. Next time ask her why she doesn't write it down! That way she will know why you started seeing a new doctor. I'm pretty down on shrinks in general, but they can at least PRETEND that they are working for the money they earn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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she def can't tell you apart from her other patients. i would switch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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you need a live [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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get a new doc. do yourself a favor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Well, it is over, 98 ds did not get into Anderson or LL, which were the only two I listed. SHould I have considered any other schools in D2. Can someone tell me what some of the highly regarded ones are. thx 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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Just go gen ed. What's your zone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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Why did you list only 2? Aren't there several other G&T programs in D2? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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depends on your zoned school....but 116, LL and 11 are all pretty good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:14 PM Flag
[ - ] NJ Moms: I'm looking to move to a Central to North Jersey town with a real community feel (good neighborhood schools, a community pool, near some decent recreation like parks, swimming, etc). Would like the kind of town where neighbors know each other and kids generally participate in town sports, etc (within reason). We can afford a home in the $500-600K range. We drive to work so train service is not too important. Any recommendations? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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where is work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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Kenilworth and Hackensack, for now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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Fair Lawn! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Really? I don't know it at all. What's it like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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np: eh... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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Nice houses, great town pool, on a train line to NYC, close to Rt 4, two minutes from IKEA, 20 minutes from GWB. If we could have afforded it we would have bought there. Instead we are moving to CT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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chatham [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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OP: I love Chatham but I'm afraid that we would be one of the "poor" families and all of the wealthy families would belong to country clubs that we couldn't afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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well, yea, you would have one of the cheaper houses in town. but there is a town pool... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Do people use it or do people tend to go somewhere "better" if they can afford it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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What about Maplewood? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Also a wonderful town, but surrounded by some iffy nabes. 30 minutes to Manhattan by train. Great wooded reservation with dog runs. Good schools. Real community feel. Check out maplewoodonline.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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what iffy nabes? Short Hills and Millburn don't suck! However, some parts of Irvington are terrible, so don't live too close to the Irvington or Newark border. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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all parts of irvington are bad. maplewood is the last buffer. I happen to like it a lot, but there are some iffy nabes in Maplewood. And the schools are reflective of it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Irvington and Newark. I researched NJ thoroughly during our house hunting, and was shocked at how bad things got outside of Maplewood. Obviously it's not bad all around as you said, but some areas are very very ghetto within two or three minutes drive from MW. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Verona? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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np: that's a good suggestion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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allendale (great lake, schools), ho-ho-kus, saddle river. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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River Edge, Oradell, Summit, Mountainside, New Providence [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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doubt she could afford much in Summit or Oradell. The rest are good suggestions, though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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radburn. it is technically part of fairlawn, but very different. It's a planned community from the 1930s where all the houses are either on the town green or a short walk from it that doesn't require crossing any streets. it has it's own elementary school, tons of kids programs, very affordable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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Westfield is lovely, but I don't know how much the houses are there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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i would look at river edge if you work in hackensack. also tenafly. glen rock is also nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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Tenafly is wonderful, great schools, lovely village feel to it. Close to Englewood which has an amazing downtown area now. Englewood schools SUCK btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on the CARES restraint for flying? Worth it or just lug on the car seat? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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If your kid is 2yo+ you don't even need the car seat. Not sure what the restraint is that you are talking about [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] What was your favorite candy as a kid? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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fun dip. loved the sticks. oh, and candy cigarettes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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bulls eyes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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Barnone. Still miss it!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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pay days and the 3 cent jelly royals [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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^^ great question btw! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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wax lips [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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Crunch bars [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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marathon bars, snickers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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the same as now -- licorce -- any kind - string, wheels, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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i like the panda natural licorice. craved it like crazy when pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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i just saw that at chef center but it was $6 a bag and i'm too cheap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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SKOR.. more bc it was special. we lived in hershey and it came out there bf it was released to the general market. thus, the special candy that we didn't get very often. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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Whatchamacallit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] we are moving out of the city and i want to put up a job posting for my awesome nanny - where should I post it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.16.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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CL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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Here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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I know someone looking for a FT nanny. Also, email to all your mommy friends. Word gets around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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NP: my former nanny is avail for f/t in Manhattan. search my post under mygreatnanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] i have my first ob appt at almost 6 weeks. what can i expect? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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weight, bp, bloodwork, a whole bunch of information, maybe a vag ultrasound, a pap if you haven't had one recently [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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