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06.16.08, 19:31 PM Toddler
24 replies
Ok, if dh said "you're fat;I'm not attracted to you anymore, unless you drop some weight...I see plenty of women who take much better care of themselves.." What would be your reactions? Would you be thankful that at least he's honest...? Alternatively, what runs through your head when you see a worn out and bloated mum? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 06.16.08, 07:31 PM Flag
 

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I would laugh and laugh. Signed, Bloated and Worn Out Mum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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there are ways to say things and there are ways to say things. i'd have a serious issue being married to someone who could be that thoughtless and self centered. it sounds like a threat. not cool. what if you lost weight and a lot of others found you more attractive too. can you then go out with them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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Excellent point, that sounds fair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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did your dh say this to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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No, My bf's husband told me this about my bf. I feel enlightened by his statement. I admire his honesty, but I still think it's really offensive...any thoughts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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The fact that he told you (whether instead of or in addition to his wife) is more offensive to me than the comment itself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I asked him what the hell he thought I was supposed to do? It's not like I care diet pills in my purse. I get that it's wrong, but would it be better if he did cheat on her or belittle her in front her kid...I think he thought I would be able to steer her in a better direction... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter. The betrayal of intimacy is the issue. Maybe she's eating because she's in a lousy marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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ITA. Was he testing the waters, since evidently he thinks you are one of the women who "take much better care of themselves"? From all evidence he is a total a-hole. I suspect you are, too, with your "trying to steer her in a better direction" comment. Is getting fat and out of shape really a dereliction of human duty? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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Hey, I bust my butt to make time to workout. I think the guy is total d*c*. I also think that it's also not a good example for your children. I don't think it reflects on me at all... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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i think you're looking way too much into OPs response. you have no idea why this man talked to her. maybe he does want her to help his wife instead of saying it directly to her. there is a reality to what he's saying. and he's prob right not to tell his wife directly. altho i'm not sure telling her friend is much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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My reaction would be that it's not respectful of you, the mother of his kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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That's an a-hole comment, but unless I had no other obligations than to drop my children off at their all-day school, I might ask DH what he's gonna do about it? Is he going to take care of the children while I work out? Is he going to bitch about the new food regimen in the household? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Her dh is a consultant, he works crazy hours, works out in airports and never eats...btw how do men live like that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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so it sound slike he's hardly ever home. i'd say it's a good bet he's thinking of cheating or already has and is using her weight as an excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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I think he's too nerdy to cheat, but I do think that he lusts after other women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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you never know about people. i'm always surprised. that said, perhaps steer him to therapy. and her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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Amen to that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I would feel horrible for a couple of days, but it sound like part of you agrees with him. Tell him you need his supportto lose eight and get in shape. For example, I need to get up at 5 and exercise and I need you to watch db, or I need you to get home a bit earlier and i will go to the gym. Make it happen and you will feel great about yourself....what he thinks is really secondary. hne I see overweight Moms I feel sorry for them> [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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If I see a worn out and bloated mum, I think she doesn't get much help and support from her DH. Most people get like that because they have no time to take care of themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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i probably look worn out, not sure about the bloated. I am constantly a mess, but it has nothing to do with DH. I just don't feel hte need to get all dolled up (or even shower for that matter) when doing errands or running around the city with DS. If you saw me on a saturday afternoon I am sure yu would think I was a mess. But if you saw my Saturday night, i would look hot. I can do it when I want, I just don't want to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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I would tell hiim that I see plenty of men who takes better care of themselves, too, and that if he wants to diet and exercise with me, I'll be happy to start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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What if he had told me that he was completely unsatisfied in bed? That he was bored out of his mind? or that She did something weird with her tongue? Would that be more or less offensive than tell me that he's less attracted to her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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np i think that would be a lot worse. the stuff he told you i can kind of understand. maybe he's turning to you bc he's feeling this way abt his wife and needs to talk abt it. her best friend will be on her side. he knows that. if dh said this to my best friend, even if she thought it was obnoxious, i think she'd have my best interest at heart when talking to him about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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