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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Ugh. District 6 sucks. Even G&Ts suck. Only one decent gen ed/ 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.21.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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Is that Harlem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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Washington Heights mostly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Most of Harlem is D3, thank goodness. At least the southern portion, about 123 and below.(from a Harlemite) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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No, most of Harlem is D5/D6 - I've lived here a long time. Only the area around CU East of Morningside park is D3 - lucky you live in that area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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123rd and below, as far east as 5th avenue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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D5 sucks much much worse than D6. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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yes,, but you get a lot of space for way less money. I am sure you realized that when you signed on the dotted line. can't have it all you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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Huh? more space? what space? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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an apt. in WH is so much cheaper per sq foot than one on uws for eg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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PS 153 has a good district G&T program. Unfortunately, it's the only good G&T program up here. We're in D6. Which school is your dc going to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 03:40 AM Flag
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don't complain. you're the dumb ass that lives there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:32 AM Flag
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np: you know sometimes life is not so black and white. we bought our apt in Dist 5- Harlem 12 years ago, one of two areas we could afford, the other being Washington Heights. Although it has gone up in price, it has not gone up enough for us to be able to sell and get a school in a good zone. Decided later in life to have a child. We have lots of roots in our community and it would not be so easy to go somewhere new. Our dc has lots of friends here. Lucky, we got a decent placement out of zone, but I don't expect my neighbors to have to move just to get a school or to have made the decision not to live here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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or: well, you either move or do something about the schools. there are schools in brooklyn that moms of toddlers started working on to improve in time for their kids to go. complaining is useless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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Yeah, you can congratulate yourself on the back. When your school is outright hostile to parents, you will see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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Per an earlier poster, 187 ranked 38th for NYS and 10th for Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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I am zoned for 187, and I think it's overrated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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Yup. There were some good schools of choice but they have mostly gone downhill, or gotten overcrowded. We were living mortgage-free in a big beautiful apartment in D6, paying nothing but our maintenance. But like another poster said, we realized you can't have it all and there is a reason that D6 is cheap. We had to suck it up, sell the apartment, and move to an apartment in lower Harlem--relatively cheap rent, but still way more expensive than our maintenance was. Moved to a very good zone (180), backed up with a deposit at a very good Catholic (Ascension), did the lotteries for the truly excellent schools (MSC, 87, 199), got lucky. In D6 you're choosing a lower cost of living in exchange for crappy schools, so you have to pick a priority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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The reality is that most of us don't "choose" to live up here, but it's all we can afford to have the space we need and still live in the city. I also don't think it's so black & white. There are some good charter schools (Amistad, Muscota, to a lesser extent Wash Height Academy) and the G&T at PS 153 has amazing potential. Of the zoned schools, PS 187 appears to be the only decent one around. It is certainly true that you need to think very carefully re: schools up here. That said, it's not as dire as people claim. We're very happy here and plan to stay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Muscota? Didn't it fail last year and hasn't there been big teacher/administration fallout? The biggest problem with both Amistad and Muscota is that they are squeezed tight into an already overcrowded building with other programs too. No specialty rooms, etc. Hard to compare them with schools in other districts that have their own art room, music room, science lab, gym, computer room, auditorium, playground. Some with gardens, dance studios, etc. too. And more specialized full-time teachers for those extras. Seems like in Inwood/WH you can choose a big school with lots of facilities but an iffy program, or a good program squeezed into a few rooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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Overcrowding is a HUGE problem here, and that is certainly true for Amistad & Muscota. Muscota has a new principal, and anyway I personally don't put too much stock in those report cards. I am not claiming that these schools are on par with the best that D2 and D3 have to offer. But they are good options for people up here who are zoned for a bad school. This District really does need more funding, more space & more schools, but I doubt any of that is going to happen soon. Unless you can afford private, we're stuck making do with what we have. And by dint of parents' efforts, what we have is not all that bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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^^^ BTW, PS 153 offers much of what you just described: 3 f/t music teachers (and 3 dedicated music rooms), 2 art studios and 2 f/t art teachers, a dance studio & f/t dance teacher and a f/t drama teacher with her own room, 2 science labs and 2 computer labs. Do you live up here or are you the one who moved to Morningside Heights? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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Still live up here but have 2 years to think about it. Concerned. Not in 153 zone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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Adding...thinking about moving to Queens. Couldn't afford Morningside Heights I don't think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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PS 153 has a G&T program that they and the DOE are trying to cultivate. It is an excellent program with good teachers and an ambitious principal. Which zone are you in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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PS98. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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You're way up in Inwood then? That school has a G&T program also, although I don't think it is as good as PS 153. So really Amistad & Muscota are the best alternatives to your zoned school, although Wa. Heights Academy is moving up there in 2010. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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Heard good things about WHA, but isn't it hard to get in? Don't like Muscota (too unstructured) or Amistad (don't want dual language). Afraid to stay here and take the chance on WHA or gifted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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I hear you. I don't know how hard WHA is to get into, but I think Muscota and Amistad are better than WHA anyway. Good luck with whatever you end up doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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Was considering Muscota for 2009, what happened to the principal? Thought she was the driving force of the school, when did this happen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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She left suddenly this spring. It's a good thing, in my opinion. Although she was the driving force, she had been there too long and was very flaky. Huge turn off to us, and one of the reasons we didn't consider Muscota. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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There are three good gen eds and I know several people happy with the G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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Three good gen eds? Which three? Good as compared to what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Any advice? We are doing a fsbo and have decided to allow brokers to show the place and would pay 3% to a buyer's broker. So essentially we are acting as our own listing agent...figure we will maybe spend 3% instead of 6%. Gotten tons of calls from brokers, they seem fine with showing/happy with 3%....but say someone sees my ad in the NY Times, comes to my Open House and then some broker who showed them places 2 mos ago claims they are their 'broker'- would they (they buyer) have to have signed something to this effect 2 mos ago?? 52 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.21.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter - if the offer is presented with a Buyer Agreement you pay according to the terms you put in place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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usually the contract is for 3-6 months (although I'm not in NYC, so don't know what they do there), so it really depends on what they signed and how long ago. In my state though, it is only on houses that they show, so going to an open house wouldn't count. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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how strange, what state ar eyou in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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Missouri [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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^^^It may vary by company... I just know what's on the contract... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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this is not the case in NY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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The least of a Brokers job is to "procure" the listing - anyone can do that. The commission is paid for the work they do on behalf of the Buyer far beyond bringing them to the listing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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But buyers brokers don't do any work that can't be done by another party. They aren't necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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What other party is doing the work? A lawyer at $250 an hour? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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You need the lawyer anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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what work does the buyer's broker do? We sort of figure the more exposure for our place, the better, but When DH and I bought the place we are selling now, we didn't have a buyer's broker. We went to an open house hosted by the seller's broker [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Then the Sellers Agent received both sides of the commission and you were represnted by a Dual Agent. That is insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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ah you are right...she kept the whole 6% for herself. Lucky her! (not that we care because we paid the same price anyway) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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You did pay the same price...but you didn't have someone working on your behalf and may well have paid 5 or 10 or 15k. less...but I am so glad you are happy, you sound great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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maybe but 15K is very little in the grand scheme of things with this particular place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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Buyers generally don't agreements with brokers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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Hmmm, I make a good 6 figure salary basedon Buyers signing contracts with me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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A seller can (and will) sign an agreement to allow one broker to exclusively show their home. But a buyer as no incentive to commit to one broker. If you find an apartment w/o a broker and your attorney can handle the sale, why bother with a broker? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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Because when a Seller lists their house with an agency they sign a contract splitting the fee with the Buyers Agent. So - in effect - the money is already committed by the Seller and you don't get a refund if it is not used. Besides, the best help a Broker will be is in negotiating which a lawyer won't do. Finally, most Buyers are now represented by an exclusive Agent and it has been this way since about 2000. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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Lawyers will absolutely negotiate. That's one of the central skills to being a lawyer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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Sure they can but without the knowledge of the market there skills are limited [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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A real estate lawyer will have extensive knowledge of the market in which they are practicing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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That is absurd. Zillow is not extensive market knowledge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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Not zillow. Who said anything about zillow? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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Funny, I never see lawyers at broker opens, never have them negotiate a deal, present comps basedon first hand evaluation, etc. how do they know what is going on on the ground in my neighborhood? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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By representing buyers and sellers in every facet of the transaction? Who writes the contracts? Who reviews the buildings financials? Who negotiates the contracts? Who represents the parties at the closings? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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Contracts are boilerplate, Brokers conduct negotiations, lawyers typically represent the bank/mortgage holdings at closing. Very few people bother hiring a lawyer for closing anymore since the contract is so standard - any h.s. student can print out the P & S. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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Where do you work? What market? Brokers do not conduct negotiations in my market. Lawyers do. And buyers and sellers both bring their lawyers to the closing, as does the bank. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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I work in MA and CT and rarely do lawyers attend closings anymore - that will be over in 5 years. My clients won't pay 1,500k. plus a huge title insurance commission to boot - the bank will send someone to do any dirty work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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Then why are yo commenting on a thread on the NYC board? What do you know about real estate transactions in NYC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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I worked in NY for years and am well aware of the situation there. You must be a real estate attorney. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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Nope. Not a real estate attorney. But if you worked in NY, you know that buyers and sellers in NYC ALWAYS hire their own attorneys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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I don't think she works in New York or Manhattan. I've never heard of a lawyer not being at a closing...especially with coops [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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Seriously! I can't imagine anyone not hiring a lawyer to represent them in a closing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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^and our coop lawyer certainly is involved in sales in our building [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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np - we didn't hire a lawyer for our coop [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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You can't use a boilerplate contract. You need to customize the contract to the proprietary lease of the coop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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false [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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Where the heck are you that lawyers don't negotiate deals? Who is writing the contracts? The brokers? That's CRAZY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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Crazy? Google "Contract to Purchase" or "Purchase and Sale Agreement" and print out your state's standard contract for free. Anyone who pays a lawyer to hit "print" is a fool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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I don't need a state's standard contract. I need a contract specific to the co-op in which I am buying. A standard contract won't help in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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That is very misleading and false. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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Not at all. Are you telling me that a resale vs a sponsor unit will have the same contract with the same contingencies? Of course not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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there are boilerplate contracts for either scenario - you seem quite heated about the possibility of missing a turn at the trough though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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I just find it shocking that brokers are so self-important that they think they are someone critical to real estate transactions. It is hysterical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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Buyers have a huge incentive to work with a Broker as opposed to a lawyer - namely a lot less in fees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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No one with an ounce of intelligence is going to trust a broker, whose compensation is tied to the price of the apartment. They are going to have everything dd'ed by their lawyer anyway. The legal fees can't be avoided. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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I think you are very cynical or just silly. The different of 10 or 20k. means nothing to my commission check - read Freakonomics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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You are talking about the very low end of the market if the swing is only 10-20K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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OP here: we decided (for now) not to hire a broker to 'sell' our place because then we would have to pay 6%. But we've put word out to several brokers that we will pay 3% if they bring us a buyer (which is the same 3% they'd get anyway) so at this point, I'm wondering what else a selling broker would do for us (provided I have the time right now to show the place) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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I need to go to sleep so I am not going to spin the laundry list of what a Broker will do for you - it sounds like you have decided to go FSBO anyway - but I will let you know that Brokers are not very interested in FSBOs and will not actively show your property. If called or asked about it they will but otherwise they will never offer to show it to their clients. Since everyone on UB hates Brokers you can flame away about how disgusting and unethical this is. I just wanted to let you know. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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thanks! I already had one broker show it and she's bringing back someone else next week....so I guess you all aren't as disgusting as you think we think you are! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:21 PM Flag
[ - ] When people brag about their kids reading "at 3rd grade level", doing math "at second grade level," what the heck does this mean? How does anyone know the levels? And, frankly, I'm assuming that these levels are based on the average students in the country, which is doubtfully very high. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.21.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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I don't know, but I was looking after my friend's 5yo ds today, and he was reading signs, etc., with ease, which impressed the heck out of me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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these are the moms pumping their kids. I have a 99.9 kid who is obviously gifted, and when he learns something he does it overnight and becomes obsessed with it. but he is not formulating quadratic equations without being introduced to them. I think they are simply teaching their smart kids. if you teach a smart kid, they can do this stuff. My question is why? would so much rather engage dc's creativity and talk about ideas and concepts, than teach addition and subtraction in our spare time. school will do that. I can supplement when he's bored, but otherwise, i just want him to be the curious, creative kid he is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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I'm ok with trying to teach things at home - there's time for a bit of everything. But how does anyone know that their kid is reading on a 3rd grade level? I read that here all the time. My 3rd grade cousin reads the Henry and Mudge books. Is that 3rd grade? I mean, big deal! It's not Tolstoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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Henry and Mudge is NOT 3rd grade at all. That is more like Kindergarten book. 3rd grade.. hm.. is more like Roald Dahl books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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posted right below you...Henry and Mudge is 1st grade - that is where most kids in dc's class were mid year. Funny you mentioned Dahl, dc and I are reading James and the Giant Peach (the one who reads at 2nd grade level)..and it is a bit hard for him to read...I usually have him read 1 or 2 paragraphs, then I take over and read to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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I think dc has to read the whole book by himself and comprehend everything when quizzed on it with details, etc. to be able to declare reading at x level... at least that is what I thought. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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my K dc reads classics...no kidding. not sure of the level, but the kid can reaad and comprehend moby dick all by himself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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he can't comprehend the greater meaning though. maybe he can tell you that x, y and z happened, but he's not going to, say, talk to you about good v evil and so on.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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no, he actually does talk about things like good and evil when he reads a book like this. I am not kidding, either. its oddly amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:38 PM Flag
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A lot of people exaggerate. My dc is just finishing 1st grade. According to his teacher he is reading at a mid-2nd grade level. I could hand him the NY Times (so that is probably written at some high school level I'd assume) and he could read most of it but would struggle with some words and have NO idea what he read. Some people would tell you though, if this was their dc, that he was reading at a 10th grade level. I just smile and nod when I come across moms like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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NYT is written at a 6th grade level. Wall Street Journal is now written at a 9th grade level (used to be 11th grade level), [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Actually, NYT is not written at HS level. Much lower than that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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np: you get the point though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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well then, that means my dc isn't reading at a 6th grade level either! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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I don't know either how they know. My dc started reading at 2yo (from starfall dc played with and Leapfrog toys) but I have no idea what level dc is at. I know there is some website some people use to determine reading level (a list of about 20 words) but that seems absurdly too easy. I hope people are not referring to using that test. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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oh, I am sure you will figure this out soon if you already have your 2 yo on starfall! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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Look, ms snark. Dc was able to play starfall all on her own at 2yo. Some kids are like that. So sue me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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>Old UB was full of people whose dc's were all enjoying starfall and people said it was too babyish for 4yos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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Whenever people ask for websites for their 2yo's, people refer starfall. I think the person who replied to OR is new here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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agree. my 4 yo would not have the interest or patience for it. nonetheless, this poster is trying to teach her kid to read at 2 yo. she is intense as are all the moms who say their kids do 3rd grade math at age 3. they are pushing and teaching all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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So sad that you have to believe this. You really don't think some kids pick things up on their own? There are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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if I gave a math problem to my 4 yo, he might be able to reason through it, but he would not sit down and start adding 4 digit numbers out of the blue. I highly doubt yours does this either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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That has nothing to do with what we're talking about. My dc, as a toddler, could sit thru 2 hr dinner no problem and draw the whole time. If you are talking about being able to sit for a long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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look, my dc could have written starfall at 2 yo, but I am saying that you are obviously bent of teaching reading to your very young dc, which is the point of my OR. people like you work hard on teaching their dcs. they don't just talk to them and allow them to be kids. got it now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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You could say Starfall taught dc. Whatever. Everyone else had their kids on starfall and leapfrog toys. If you have to convince yourself that I taught dc to read, go ahead and make yourself happy. You are a cynic and there's nothing I can do for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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Hardly a cynic. the story speaks for itself. what is your problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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np: I thin OR is saying that some parents do a lot to teach their dcs. those kids who are smart will learn what is taught, but they are not teaching themselves all by themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:39 PM Flag
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OK, I know this doesn't quite fit with this thread, but my almost 5 yr old was doing silly spelling words tonight, like poo and gas and such, and she asked me how to spell vagina. I told her to try it herself and she spelled it fagina. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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She chose a "g" for the "j" sound? That seems unusual. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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v and f are close sounds in germanic languages. obviously she mixed up those two. where are you getting this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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I'm talking about the middle consonant--according to the poster, the child spelled it with the correct "g," which I found surprising, given its sound. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 09:41 AM Flag
[ - ] I wish there was a way to search for schools that got only 5 stars on insideschools.org 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.21.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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So I don't have to rely on UB reputation. It's hard to look at every single school in the district. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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I guess my question is why you're looking at every single school is your district. But you can cut it down by choosing the Noteworthy box, I gues [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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tell me where you are interested in looking, and I will tell you the best schools there. if you have been on UB long enough, you get to know this stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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The stars are just the standardized test scores. Select 'notable' and you'll see only insidschools.org staff picks (which are not always schools with the highest test scores). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I am so afraid I have Lupus -- how long will a blood test take? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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How old are you? Isn't lupus something you know about when you're in your 20s? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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I'm 35 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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Why would you all of a sudden get it? Everyone I know who has it (3 women) were diagnosed as teens. Could it be Lyme disease instead? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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OR below: Yes, or rheumatoid arthritis or rheumatic fever or even parvovirus (which is what my symptoms turned out to be). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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I got results (negative) in 3 days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Anything fun going on tomorrow? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.21.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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oh boy yes. but you are not invited. sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:39 PM Flag
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Taking ds shopping to buy my sister a birthday gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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my DD's birthday party at the park (in the rain??!!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Will a shy dc definitely get shout-out from TT? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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You mean shut out? No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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I like the shout out idea though. (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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op. sorry. I mean shut-out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Poll: by the end of 3rd grade, what math skills has your dc mastered? Signed, D2 Mom Fearing that TERC is ruining DS's life.... 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.21.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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At PS 6, they use TERC plus "normal" math. My kids are only in 1st grade, and have mastered the addition and subtraction tables up to 20, but the math curriculum is almost algebraic in nature. Took some time for ME to get used to it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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What does that mean, the curriculum is algebraic? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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The homework is often something like this: ____ + 8= 10. What's the answer? That's algebraic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Take deep breaths. I'm not a fan of TERC, but it's not going to ruin your kid's life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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OP: I know it's not, and I do like many aspects of it, but there's a chance DH will get transferred this summer and I'm worried he'll be behind in a new curriculum. He was only required to learn his times tables up to 5!! (We learned them all of course) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Up to 5? That's crazy. You're not supplementing at home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Simple Division, Basic Fractions, and (for some reason) binary code and base 2-5 mathematics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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helicopter mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Have your dc do Kumon. Prob solved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a pinkish red rash across my cheeks and nose. Any clue? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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sun poisoning? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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haven't been in the sun for a week. I've been sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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Rosacea? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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botox reaction? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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I wish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Getting this sharp, periodic pain in my ear. Ouch. If this is what an ear infection feels like, then I feel really bad for all those babies who get them! Is this something that can go away itself? Don't even have a regular doc right now.... 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Does it feel like fluid is in there? Don't mess around with this. Two summers ago I had to get an ear tube in one of my ears because of an infection that threatened to permanently damage my hearing. You don't need a regular doc, you need an ENT. Just go see one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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It doesn't feel as if there's fluid in there. Did it feel that way to you? Just a pulsing pain that comes and goes. Hurts like a b*&( though. Thanks for the advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I had a sinus infection that spread to my ears and stayed there for months. I could feel a rattling. That said, I really would recommend going to an ENT. Don't mess around with your hearing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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OK. You're probably right. It's been 2 days. I'll give it a few more, and if it's still here, I'll make an appointment. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:45 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you locate an elementary schools ranking on LI? Such as the Syosset that was discussed? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.21.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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You can go to the NY State Education Dept and dig around for stats [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I have lived in Brooklyn for over 10 years, and the traffic I have dealt with in the past week has been out of control, is it the new IKEA? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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what part of Brooklyn? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Cobble Hill [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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probably is IKEA then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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construction because of the con-ed mess at smith and wyckoff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 08:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone chime in on DH and working habits? My DH is a lawyer and is always behind (he is very slow). He feels the need to work on Saturday nights and Sundays and he does usually have hours to make up. I need to just suck it up right? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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uggg that sucks... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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does he want to be part of a family? because it doesn't sound like it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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good point - says the family needs his paycheck most importantly (he is kind of a diva, likes to milk that I am at home while kids are v. young) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:40 PM Flag
[ - ] did you email your G&T acceptance? did you get a reply? I emailed on Thursday but didn't hear back. now I'm nervous. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.21.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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did not hear back, but communicated with the school. they did not refute that we were on the list, so I am assuming they heard about us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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no confirmation. school let us register. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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did you call the school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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yes, we're on the school list and going to register monday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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so why so nervous? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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what took you so long to accept? just curious? do you have a private spot you let go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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did not hear back, but set up an appointment with the school for registration [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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ditto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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tritto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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did not hear back, emailed Saturday night- nothing by Tuesday, so i forwarded my acceptance and asked them to confirm reciept. They did the next day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:42 AM Flag
[ - ] What is your opinion on therapy? I have gone to therapists on and off for a number of years. Some I found helpful, some I found really lame. But I recently stopped going because when I looked at myself and everyone close to me who has been in long term therapy, none of our major personality dysfunctions had really gone away. I started wondering if it's kind of a crock, at least for highly functional people. I think it's terrific and essential if you have a real mental illness, major depression, are suicidal or in a true abusive relationship, but for people who are just trying to better themselves, it seems like maybe it's paying for a friend to listen to you talk. What do you think? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Its is frightening to read your post, I could have written every word. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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Whats worse...I am considering starting therapy again because I am so desperate and I just can't figure out anything else to do to get myself out of my rut. So maybe its not COMPLETELY useless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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It's not useless to start if you're really stuck. It helped me a lot, but the usefulness is short lived once you've got a handle on the issue, even if the issue is still there a bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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I don't see the point, either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I agree with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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i agree with you. and I don't necessarily think it works for people with major mental illness either -- meds do. every therapist I've ever talked to made the sessions more about him or her than me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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that's the definition of a really bad therapist. You're supposed to know nothing about them... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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And there's always that uncomfortable sales aspect to the relationship -- the only therapist I ever had who truly helped me make some changes in my life was my first therapist. She was very young, but good. Anyway, at one point, when things were going smoothly in my life, she said, I think you're in a good place and don't need to see me, but if things change, call me and we can set up some time to talk again. It's the first and last time I've experienced that. Everyone else, it's always a big hassle to get out of the relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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yeah, they call it transition when its really time for them to fill your slot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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I totally agree. It helped me get over a really traumatic event, but now I'm still going and trying to figure out how to tell the therapist goodbye as she's really not doing anything for me any more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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I have to say that therapy has helped me immensely. I was incapable of dealing with the stress in my life that I let it manifest itself physically (migraines, pre-ulcer condition) and without therapy I would have made myself even sicker. In therapy I learned a lot of "why" I reacted they way I did to stressful situations and it allowed me to teach myself to change my reactions. But it's not for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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I found therapy helpful in many ways, the most important of which was realizing that when I was depressed, it wouldn't last forever. That said, I'm glad I stopped when I did. The people I know who have spent the longest in therapy seem to be the people who were least helped by it. It's almost as if they learned to identify their problems and then, well, wallow in them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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did you get on meds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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OP here -- you just described my MIL to a tee. Wonderful woman, but has been seeing the same therapist for over 30 years. She's mentally a mess -- nervous, depressed, angry, paranoid. What a crook that therapist is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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I think long term therapy is kind of a crock, yes. But cognitive behavioral therapy is totally different, shown in many studies to be very effective (as effective as meds in fighting depression, for example). It's in-and-out therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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OP here -- I replied to someone's post above that I had that experience with my first therapist and it was terrific. Haven't found it again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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I'm in now, and it's really not terribly helpful. I've been thinking of droppiing, but I think what keeps me there is that my therapist is the only person other than dh that I talk to about my life on a regular basis. If I had friends, I wouldn't need a therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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yup, its not even a paid friendship though - more like a prostitue because you don't have to hear them bitch when its their turn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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exactly. Think it would be cheaper to just hire a prostitute to listen to me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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hey thats an idea! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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It would be cheaper to hire me to listen to you too. I'm very good at saying, Hmm. Uh-huh. Yes. Why do you think that is? I can through in the occasional, How does that make you feel for an extra $10 an hour if you'd like. (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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a prostitute isn't going to take insurance. I only pay my therapist $16 a session.... If you find a prostitute that cheap could you please tell dh? It will soooo help my monthly budget;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm on antibiotics and didn't register a fever at the dr office, my body will suddenly become very hot for awhile then cool down. What could this be? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.21.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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hot flashes? (perimenopause?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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you could be having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:54 PM Flag
[ - ] 17 Weeks pg w/#3 and still have not felt movement. Should I be concerned? Don't remember exactly w/the first two, when I first felt the baby move, but it seems kind of late by now. Anyone btdt? Tia. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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i've only had one, but i remember i didn't really feel movement until after 21 wks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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don't worry -- you're not supposed to feel movement until 20-22 wks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Depends on the position of the placenta too. I hardly felt any movement at any point when I had an anterior placenta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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I didn't have movement until 22 weeks with #1 and 21 weeks with #2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I don't remember feeling anything until after my 20 week scan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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