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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] If you could only have 2 pieces of work-out equiptment in your apartment/house, and space was not an issue...what would you prefer? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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A swimming pool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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OP- I should have specified "inside".... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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There are indoor pools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Op- then I should have specified not costing an arm and leg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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You said space not an issue! lol. My friend has a pool in her apartment building and she invites us over. It's great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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I've got a pool and 5 lb dumbbells and I love em. Pool more than the dumbbells of course! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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an eliptical and a trainer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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a really hot trainer and a really hot trainer who liked chubby gals [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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Op- lol..but not helping me...I'm trying to figure out what I should budget for and work toward buying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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i like stair machines and ellipticals. the stairs work your ass and then elliptical seems to loosen up the muscles the stair machine tightens up too much (I don't mean the good tight as in toned, but tight as in need to be stretched). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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definitely a treadmill. don't know what else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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a treadmill and one of those all-in-one weight training gyms, which are less expensive than a good treadmill. spend the money on a good treadmill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:35 PM Flag
[ - ] how effective are ellipticals for weight loss? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.27.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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depends how you use it. You can burn calories if you challenge yourself, just like anything else. They are not as effective as running. And NOTHING is effective if you don't also change your eating habits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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I have definitely been watching my eating - trying to stick to 1200 calorie diet, i occasionally will allow myself a cookie or a sweet, but no more than once a day, portion control is big these days. I burn 300-500 calories a day on the elliptical (I've just started myself with it - everyday this week so far). I do weights as well, but the elliptical is my main focus - sometimes treadmill, but i usually stick to an uphill powerwalk or i go back and forth between running and walking - i don't have the endurance for long distance running, need to work on that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Why doesn't anyone realize what McCain as President will really be like. Please really think about it before you vote. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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Trust me...I have thought about it. There is no way I would ever even THINK about voting for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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ditto. He scares the hell out of me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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There will be riots the day after he becomes President with riots & looting, guns going off wily nilly. crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I'm having this weird sense of deja vu... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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wait, didn't you make the same post about Obama? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] I asked last night, but did not get a response: Is anyone familiar with FHA home mortgage loans? Are they good? How are they different from regular mortgage loans? TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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I responded. They are government guaranteed loans, available up to about $360K if you live in a high cost area and lower than that in other areas. There's no difference really, but if you have a limited income or bad credit, FHA loans can be easier to qualify for these days than a bank loan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Thank you. I guess that after waiting I logged off too early. Thank you for this information. We have a good income and excellent credit, but because of a family incident, we were not able to save as much as we would like to but we want to buy now. THe bank has offered us this type of loan and said we can get it with only 3% down on the mortgage. This sounded too good to be true so I am doing my research. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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3% down sounds right. They are guaranteed for default, so the minimum is low [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Where in westchester can I find top schools, easy commute and a cute house for $700k? (or am I dreaming?) 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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there are some (smaller) houses for that much in both Scarsdale and Edgemont; also Ardsley but commute may not be quite as easy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Thanks. I'll check it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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try running searches on the houlihan lawrence website -- that's how we found our house. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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Thank you. I'll go there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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My friend bought something in the 800s in Rye Neck. The school district is AMAZING. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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ita, Rye Neck is really excellent,it is like a private school in a public school system there are some decent houses zoned for the district for around $700k. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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A few, but then there are the property taxes.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 06:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Anderson or a private school that would be a real financial struggle. Fall dd starting A in the fall. Trying to figure out if we should even start that private school process. Dd is really smart and motivated, but we have no connections, didn't go to ivies, etc. and we make just enough not to get fa, but it would be a huge financial sacrifice for us (and we also have a baby, so it might ultimately be 2 kids in private). Any btdt? Any advice? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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I think once you get into anderson, or any really good public for that matter, you will see no reason to leave...particuarly given your financial picture. You will be happy, and wonder why you ever felt torn about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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I bet you're right. It's hard for me to picture right now what it will even be like with dd there. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Don't put your family through unnecessary stress. Anderson is excellent. Save your money and with it your dc's can do extra things in areas that they love. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Go private, that way you will open up a 1st grade spot at Anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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op: I'm getting the feeling you don't have my best intersts at heart ;- [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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oops, oh yeah and private is sooo much better than Anderson [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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:-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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lol! unless you are a sib, you do not want a first grade spot. you will be subject to public flogging if it works out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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Which private are you considering? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I have absolutely no idea. Dd hasn't taken the ERB yet. She did well on the OLSAT, but that's really a stupid test and doesn't seem highly correlated with the ERB. IF we were to try for privates, I think that maybe the sacrifice would only make sense for tt (or other school that we fell in love with). With that said, we're just average (upper?) middle class folks with no connections, so I don't really know if any of this is realistic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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The younger child of some friends of mine is starting K at A next year. Really nice people. I know several great families at A and the education seems really top notch. I bet you'll love it there, and won't even consider private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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My niece went to public school her whole life. She was in a G & T in her neighborhood in Queens. She then attended a great middle school and went on to Townsend Harris H.S. My sister was present at all PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, etc. When she graduated from high school she was accepted into every single university that she applied for...six of them!!! She selected one and even won an academic scholarship that paid her tuition. She just graduated last month and she will be going on to Fordham Law School. She has never sat in a private school in her whole life and she is just FANTASTIC!!! That's my niece!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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Go your niece! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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I would give Anderson a try and not worry about applying out in K. Your child is lucky to have the spot--you can take a break and just relax this year and see how it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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My kids are at A. and I don't understand why you are considering applying to private school. I mean, I don't understand why you want to make a huge financial sacrifice if your dd is starting at a great k-8 school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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Op: Thank you all! I really appreciate the feedback. The plan had always been to send dd to public k and then apply to private. I think I'm just thrown off now that she's going to A (which, of course, was a huge shock). I'll wait for her to start next year and see how it goes. I have a feeling you're all right that I won't even want to consider private once she starts. Thanks again! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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That seems like a no-brainer - if the private would be any sort of financial hardship and the public choice is Anderson, go with Anderson. Your DD will get a great education and your family will be happier in the absence of financial stress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 10:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else have a kid that doesn't go with the group? My ds has lots of friends and loves preschool, but has always resisted doing what's asked of him in group situations (music and dance classes, school events, etc.) I attribute some of it to performance anxiety, but scared it will be an issue when he hits K. He seems to do okay at circle time, fwiw. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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he will likely not do well in private. they go nuts over this stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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OP; then I'm glad we just dropped our private spot for public. I was seriously worried that he'd get counseled out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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My dd is 5.5 and we have the same issue. Not necessarily that she doesn't "go with the group," but she is very unlikely to do what adults tell her to do just to please them. we have problems at music class and sometimes at school. also worried about K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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op: yeah, I can understand dnot wanting to perform in front of people, but really wish he would take instruction better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 10:07 AM Flag
[ - ] when did u start putting cereal in db's bottle? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Never did that. Nursed and started cereal at 4 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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ITA - cereal belongs in bowls, milk in bottle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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ditto except milk belongs in breasts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Don't do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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just started, 5mos. actually 4 mos but dr said wait til 5 mos. baby can choke if you put cereal in bottle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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^^^just started cereal in bowl i mean [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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uh, you should be posting on KentuckyWhiteTrashMoms.com if you want an affirmative answer to this question [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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np: this is a little harsh... but we were all thinking it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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come on. who the F doesn't know this is not done anymore!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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probably someone who has their first baby and is told by their mom that this is what you do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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it was very common in our parents' generation. maybe her mom suggested it to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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my parents did it, but wasn't ever discussed with my kids... although I hear it helps with kids who have reflux [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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since cereal doesn't come out of my breasts, I don't put it in the bottle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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didn't cuz it seems too dense to pass thru the nipple hole. cereal on a spoon started at 4 mos. for both kids here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Ds is leaving for sleepaway for a month tomorrow morning. He was totally set on going but tonight was tearful, saying he didn't want to go. he's worried about "missing things" at home. Tried to reassure him, but he's stressed. He'll be fine once he gets there, right? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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How old is he? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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He'll be 11 soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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My dd is going away for 2 weeks and she has started to show some anxiety about being away from home too. I plan to pack "comfort letters" in her bag and I will tell her to open one and read it any night that she is feeling a little homesick. I also got her a nice stationary (that she picked out) to write letters to us. I am hoping that once she gets into the swing of things at camp, she will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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he will be fine. it is very normal to freak out the night before the big day. Don't worry... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] there is a lot of dh anger around here lately - i want to hear some good things about dhs because i absolutely adore mine. what is something your dh has done today that made you happy? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.27.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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He calls me once a day at work just to hear my voice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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I adore mine too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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today my dh made lunch for the entire family and then he went outside to play hockey with our two sons and daughter so i could sit in the pool for a bit before i started getting two boys jumping in like cannonballs to splash poor mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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today? absolutely nothing. he just pissed me off royally [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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got me two massages (one on father's day) because my neck was killing me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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*crickets* [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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he sends me text messages telling me i'm beautiful. sends them every couple of days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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he did the laundry today - even the ironing bc he knew i was tired from being up with our dd last night [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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when i have had a particularly trying day at the office, he gives me foot rubs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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He's helping a young cousin of mine, who I barely know, get a job at his company. Takes the kids out bike riding. Cooks for me. And, in general, just a terrific guy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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he adores me and he is the right man for me, but i've slept with someone else behind his back anyway. i'm shit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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after our dds were down for their naps, he came and gave me a kiss and told me to come upstairs and we just sat on the bad and he held me while we watched casablanca [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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has helped me hold down the fort all this month while my mom was in & out of hospital. Cooked dinner for DD's bday party while I entertained guests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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after knowing each other our entire lives and being married for 6 years, i still always catch him looking at me and he still randomly gives me a kiss or a hug or tells me how lucky he is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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he gave the kids their bath today [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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my dh understands me, putsup with me, and thinks I'm sexy even when I have zit cream on my face [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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the way he touches me, the way he smiles at me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] how do you know when to leave? we look great on paper but behind closed doors we seem to exist separately. he is the breadwinner and I'm afraid to leave. he is not physically abusive we just seem to be too different. we have a beautiful 18 month old son whom we both love. do we stick it out? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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ugh...does dh know you are feeling this way? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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we have seen a marriage counselor who has spoke to me separately and she has told me that we are very different. There are times when it seems hopeful but then it just goes back to this same indifference. It seems like he is never happy about anything, like he's waiting for something, retirement or something before he enjoys what he has. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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I'm so sorry...indifference is the worst! If I were you, I'd ask myself if was enjoying myself in the present, (is there anything you like about the relationship?) or at least if I could imagine myself doing so eventually with dh? If not, maybe you should leave...life's too short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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we can watch a movie together. I like the way he is with everyone else, his friends, our neighbors. he's funny and caring but it doesn't seem to happen behind closed doors. he once told me that the honeymoon stage of our relationship is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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just don't have another child until you figure it out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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no, no children while it's like this. I don't know if I'm being realistic or not, everyone has issues but I just don't know if mine are the ones to leave him by. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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I"m 37 and I want to have a happy family life. He is all about work, and we are very well off, I have no complaints about anything we "have" it's the personal part that is throwing me off. I can be overly sensitive at times and a bit of a romantic so I end up wondering if it's me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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he doesn't talk to me, has to be doing something while he talks to me or if I"M talking to him. he walks about 20 paces ahead of me, at the airport walking through town etc... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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can you go away for a long weekend with just him? leave the child with someone you trust? perhaps it's the stress of having your first child and having no private time as a couple? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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We haven't shared the same bed in awhile. when he has free time it's about his buddies and their families. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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hmm is that because your 18 mo sleeps with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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no, he sleeps in his own room [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I put our ds to sleep, dh does his thing at night, computer or tv, and I have no problem with that, but then he has a problem when our ds doesn't respond well to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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I don't know if it's his ego or he's afraid to talk to me, he doesn't seem to want to be vulnerable and doesn't feel comfortable if he's being questioned. Can't seem to let his wall down. That is why I am having a problem leaving, it just doesn't seem like a valid reason to me, someone else's ego or inability to be be vulnerable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Sounds complicated. My advice would be to try all different angles to break down that wall and decipher what's really happening. Shared love and devotion to a child can carry a marriage (it certainly does for mine). I think very few couples have a storybook marriage.. there's always something missing. It comes down to how critical that something is.... good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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maybe he's going thru a midlife crisis and in denial of it. perhaps you are just too close for him to let down his walls cuz he doesn't want to know what's behind those walls? i'm so sorry this is happening, maybe he's going thru a rough time too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Thank you so much for your thoughts I really appreciate it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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"he doesn't talk to me, has to be doing something while he talks to me or if I'm talking to him. he walks about 20 paces ahead of me, at the airport walking through town etc..." This sounds troubling. I would HATE it. One possibility is that his Dad did this so it's all he knows, so it's more habit than something about you. Do you know his parents? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I need advice. I recently learned that my dh has been having a serious affair. I am considering leaving him. I've been sitting with this information for about a week now and I am having a hard time getting over the shock. I don't know whether I should start seeing a therapist now, talking to a lawyer, marriage counseling, I don't know what to do. Anyone btdt or atleast have some input? I'm at a loss and I have children to take care of at that. 114 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.27.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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I'm not sure what I would do other than not make a rash decision. I think your ideas about therapist (for yourself or for both of you) and a lawyer are solid and should be pursued. Good luck and hang in there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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when i left my dh, i made the decision without rationaliing and it became a problem in the divorce bc i "abandoned" him. bc of this - he gets far more time with the kids than i would like and my support isnt as much as i should have gotten [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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np: ugh that sucks..did he have an affair?? So wouldn't that be abandoning you? So we aren't supposed to leave our dh and kiss their ass? That's nuts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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you'd think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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technically, depending on the state, the one who moves out is the one that is abandoning. It is crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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see a lawyer - you will never be able to trust him again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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Does your husband know that you are aware of the affair? I would recommend talking to a therapist just to help you clear your mind and make the best decisions for yourself. I am really sorry that you are going through this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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he knows because i have almost caught them a few times in compromising positions and eventually talked to him and he said he was crazy, but i finally caught them so he could not deny it any longer and he willingly left to give me space to brew [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. Please see a therapist. You need to get an "out" for your feelings with someone who you can trust...you also need to make a plan for what you want to do/how to handle this and speaking to someone thoughtfully about this should help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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yeah, i am definitely having a hard time rationalizing on my own, but i am just nervous to start conversation about it - i haven't told anyone yet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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Well first of all...you have to remember that YOU have not done anything wrong. Secondly...it is important to talk to someone who is nonjudgmental and who understands that you are having a rough time talking about this. You have every right to be upset talking about. Please, please, please see a therapist about this. S/He will be fully aware that you are emotional about this situation...you have every right to be. Look...you've taken the first step already by talking to us about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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i dont even know how to bring this up to my friends and family, and i hate not telling dc exactly what is going on - i just told them daddy was going on a trip for a bit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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don't tell dc until you've talked to a lawyer, anything you tell them can come back to bit you if dh tries to show that you're hurting his relationship with them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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So sorry...that totally sucks. You should definitely start seeing a therapist for yourself. That can only help. As for lawyer, marriage counselor, etc...it totally depends on what you want to do and only you can decide that. You probably know deep down what that is, but maybe you are still in shock, so you can't figure that out just yet. Does dh know that you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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it is a shame that you had to see it - it is much harder when you have a visual [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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seek help asap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Take my advice and do nothing about ending the marriage, you have a status quo now and officially leaving him is not going to change it. You have children to care for and yourself to nurse through this terrible time. Yes get a therapist, yes talk to a lawyer and he will advise you on what your rights are. But be in no rush to end this legal situation, let it be on your terms. Cold comfort I know, but you will be stronger and a nicer person when you come through this. Don't allow your dh's behaviour cause you to become a nasty horrible shrew which will justify in their eyes they betrayal of your trust. Be a lady and get yourself help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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i wish i could just wake up from this nightmare, i wish someone would pinch me so i could come back to reality - i've never once thought about ending my marriage, and now all i can think about is divorce [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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my heart goes out to you, and I have been in your situation, not exactly but divorced. All I can tell you is get support from parents, friends, clergy, therapist. Not just one source. You need many sources of help. Refuse to allow yourself to fall into distructive behaviour, you are better than that, you deserve better regardless of how poorly you were treated, you are a lady. Hold that thought because this blow to your self-esteem could derail you into behaviour unworthy of you.You are not junk, although your dh is our rutting. He does not define you. Concentrate on caring for your kids to the utterly best of your ability, this you can take pride in, and know you did not abandon them, no matter what their other parent did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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thank you, i needed to hear that - the woman he was with is much younger, gorgeous and well, someone i trusted. i am just disgusted with him and the thought of putting my kids through a divorce kills me inside. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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how did you know this woman? How old is she? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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she is 21 years old - she would watch our kids while dh and i were at work during the school year and every so often in the summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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this is a huge betrayal on so many levels. how long was this going on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:48 PM Flag
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the past year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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will he do couples counseling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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to be honest, right now i feel like he wants to be with her more than he wants to save our marriage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:06 PM Flag
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hence the voluntary decision to leave home. I'm fighting back the urge to call him every name in the book. I don't know you, but my heart really goes out to you. Talk to a therapist to help you organize your thoughts. It's obviously more complicated than you could ever express in an UB post. Then, when you're feeling a bit more at ease, talk to a lawyer, even if you decide to work on the marriage, because your marriage is at risk and you should have some sense of what your rights are in your state. Do not hesitate to reach out to your friends and that includes your friends right here :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:13 PM Flag
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thank you so much for the support, this has been the most painful week of my life. it is so hard - in front of dd i have to act so strong and i wonder if they notice how forced it is. at night i just find myself unable to sleep in my room bc it just reminds me of him. i've fallen asleep in dd's bed twice this week, and on the couch the rest. it is difficult being in this house. fortunately my dc are going on a weekend trip with my sister and her kids this weekend - the timing couldnt be more perfect. i love my kids, but it will be nice to sit and think myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:19 PM Flag
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Also see if you can go out with a friend. Too much isolation can make you feel crazy right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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omg what an a$$hole!! it wont last between them. leave him, you will never trust him again anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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i know, she is 21 years old! he could practically be her father - the worst aprt is that our dc adore her so not only will their father be gone, so will their babysitter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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oh honey i am so so sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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ita ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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be a lady? are you kidding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:46 PM Flag
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yeah right? leave him, there is nothing more to it! i know it's easier said than done but you will be happier in the long run. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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start reading and posting @ www.survivinginfidelity.com. This helped me right at the beginning. We have since reconciled and this site was a lifesaver to me besides the therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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thanks, i'll have to check it in - may i ask about your dh's affair - was it longterm, or with someone you knew? i am having a hard time seeing myself married to dh any longer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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one nighter (2005) in the back of a van-found charge for planned parenthood on the credit card (morning after pill). he was out of the country at the time of my finding out. worst 3 weeks ever. we are reconciled, have a son 4 mos old and I have forgiven him. It took 2 years though. He really had remorse and was willing to work through shit. that "hard time seeing myself married to dh" is a reaction of the trauma, this feeling may or may not stay. I was in therapy at the time. I never told the therapist until 3 months after. I needed to mentally process it. It was painful, dark and very ugly and it passed. Hang in. Breathe, do your work to process it in your own time! Best of Luck to you and hug yourself, you deserve it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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do you know who the girl was [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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ew, he didnt even use protection? what an idiot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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i'd say get those divorce papers ready right now and move on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:11 PM Flag
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its [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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The one thing you need to do is cry, cry like you never cried before. My husband cheated on me also after 11 years of marriage and 2 kids he cheated on me, and he did it with a 23 year old kid, fancy that, buttttttttt i woke my self up and after 2 long days of crying and feeling sorry for my self i made a decision not only for my self but for my kids and i stayed, we got help from a religious person and it help, and belive it or not, but his cheating has made our marriage better, it may sound crazy but it brought us closer, so before you give up get help and when you are not to busy read PSALMS 35 it help me, so hang in there a failure is some one who has never tried. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:43 PM Flag
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yeah, i've been doing lots of crying, little sleeping [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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who are you kidding with religion? he is probably still cheating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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dont knock relgion - i am not a follower, but i was raised catholic - in times of desparation i have definitely started to pray, read the bible, it made me feel better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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wow how did you find out? are you certain of the affair? and he knows that you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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i hope you kicked his sorry ass to the curb! a man who cheats is scum in my book [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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a strong woman here finally!! i agree with you. why do we always cut them slack? btw is your husband paying the bills? is this why it is hard for you to move on? if so then i guess i see your point. otherwise move on;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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I suggest you see a lawyer and a therapist - and perhaps even a therapist for dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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I am so sorry. My dad did this to my mom with a much younger woman, divorced my mom and married the affair, and now he is doing it AGAIN to the second wife, again with a much younger woman. I am telling you this to let you know that as a child who grew up in all this mess, I am OK as an adult, happily married with a child--it was tough but it did not mess me up. I am sure you are so worried about how this will affect your kids and I just wanted to give you some comfort if I can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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thanks for the support [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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My only real piece of advice is not to stay b/c of the dc unless you think that in the future you can let this go. I would not be able to, and I have seen wives who have stayed become so bitter that they alienate their own dc. It will not help them if it is going to materially harm you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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well, i don't want him around my chldren right now knowing what he has done to them as well. it just sickens me how much this is going to hurt them doubly because they lose their longtime babysitter who they have grown to become very close to. they absolutely loved her and i thought i could feel safe leaving the house knowing she was going to be there with them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Sorry for what you are going throug,it is so painful. Not for nothing, but isn't the babysitter still going to be in the picture? He's still with her right? Are you not going to let your husband see the kids for awhile? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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she will have no choice about whether the kids see dh... If she tries to keep him away (for any reason other than abuse), things will get really ugly in divorce court. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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that's why I was asking, the poster sounds like the kids will never see her again,meanwhile, it sounds like the husband is still with her and they have a relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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oh no i do realize they will see her again - but as their father's new girlfriend, which is going to be difficult for them to understand [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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how old again are the kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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6, 3 and 2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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OMG, wow that's a lot on your plate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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You're children are going to be just fine, no matter what. They will get over loosing the babysitter, just as they would if she left for another job. You do not need to tell them what happened. Your husband's a jerk, but try to recognize that this really was done to you, not them. He is going to love them no matter what (if he is in anyway not an absolute a**hole). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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i'm just worried though, if the two of them continue their relationship my children are going to get the idea of what happened and of course i will be the one answering those questions [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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it sucks. truly I feel for you so much, but there is nothing you can do about it either way. You have no legal right that I know of to keep a cheating spouse away from the kids. They sound young, so while they will be confused and probably very angry later when they fully realize what's gone on, they should be just fine. I understand your anger, I just really don't want to see you do anything that hurts your chances of getting custody of the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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Your children will eventually figure it out, then they can decide to do what ever they want with the information. When I went through this as a kid I remember thinking that my parents were so mean and nasty to each other that I wish they would get a divorce, then my dad had an affair and left, and you know what, no one could blame him, if my mother did the same thing we wouldn't have cared either. Granted we were a bit older, 12 and 14, but we were glad they were done with each other...just another perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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He really has only done something to you, you got to keep that in mind, please don't isolate the kids from him, my parents did this and it really bit my mother on the ass. You're husband been shitty to you, but I'm sure if you look back on the past year your marriage has proably been neglected and suffering and affairs are major symptoms of that, of course he should have just left in the beginning and not carried on, but it doesn't sound like he has that type of sensitivity. Be strong, this is going to be the most empowering thing that has ever happened to you, and in time you'll be so glad you're not with this guy. I'm sorry you have to go throught this though, it gets better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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np: If her DH chose some stranger to have an affair with, then maybe you might be right (and I say maybe). But he chose someone who the children trusted and had a relationship with - that changes everything. He did this to the kids too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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legally no he didn't. Of course he did logically, but in the legal system, pretty much all that matters is how they go forward. Honestly, if anything, I think that it might make it more easy for dh to argue for more custody if he moves in with her and she doesn't get a job, because the kids already know and trust her. It's sick, but if she doesn't play her cards right, I can see this being a huge mess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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what a nightmare! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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Well, I know two cases of men running off with the nannies. Judge didn't look kindly on it in either case. Didn't necessarily change custody, but in one of the cases (SIL) the judge laughed at her ex's request for full custody and requiring him to taking a parenting class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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Your SIL's ex probably requested full custody in hopes of getting joint custody. Rarely is that denied, felons and drug addicts get it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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Nope. He had the nerve to say the nanny was raising the kids anyway, was a better mother than SIL. Poor SIL was working so hard because ex was a loser who could never keep a job or watch the kids properly. The only good news for OP is guys like this loose interest in actually watching the kids anyway, especially when the new woman doesn't want the kids around (because they never do). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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or when the new woman wants her own kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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Recently, SIL's ex has wanted their teenage DD to start visiting for summers again (it's been years). Get this: He wants her to BABYSIT their new baby. Barf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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yes, provided that op doesn't start trying to keep kids away. If she tries to punish dh through kids, it makes it look her look unstable as well. She needs to be as professional about this as possible, even if it sucks. She's hurt right now, deservedly so, but as soon as you start bring the kids into it, that changes the rules of the game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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I agree. And people don't have year long affairs and ruin their marriages and lose half their assets if they don't see it working out in the end with the affair,even if it is a slim chance that he and the babysitter will worrk out, he probably doesn't realize that. The poster doesn't need to worry too much though, so it lasts a couple of years, that 21 year old is going to get over having a father figure and having to watch the kids for free soon enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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This is total bs: "if you look back on the past year your marriage has proably been neglected and suffering and affairs are major symptoms of that" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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People don't cheat when they are happy and feel loved. I'm not saying it's her fault, it's not, I'm just saying when you look at the entire picture I'm sure there were symptoms. Before my husband and I were divorced we probably had sex 2 times in the year before he left and I devoted everything to my kids, I don't regret that, but we totally neglected our relationship for so long, neither one of us cared by the end...until I found out he was cheating, then I was devestated. I didn't want him, but I was mad that he cheated. That was years ago, my perspective is different. I thought I'd never get over it, my marriage failing that is, but I'm much better for going through that experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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Actually, people DO cheat when they are happy and feel loved. I can find the cite on the internet to one guy saying, I had the best wife in the world but I wanted something more. It really happens, believe it or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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^^I should have said MEN do cheat when . . . I don't think women do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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np below: ITA. It might not have been anything more than seeing the tighter ass of the younger sitter sashaying around the house. Or it could have been the ultimate eff-you to his wife because he felt impotent about something in their relationship. I don't think in either case it's OP's fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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ITA. If you get a chance, listen to the This American Life segment called "Testosterone." It will blow your mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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People get laid when they want a piece of ass, they don't carry on a full on relationship when they are only lacking sex, from what I've seen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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I think a lot of men who mainly want sex "carry on" a "relationship" in order to get it b/c that's what it takes, given what women are like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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np: I get what you are saying. But all bets are off on some lazy asshole that chooses the babysitter. It's a destructive choice amongst bad choices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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Too true. I actually have a friend who made her marriage work after that, and she's a strong strong woman, but what a disgusting choice. I really don't think I could have stuck around with a guy who'd do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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BTDT. From my perspective I agree with start with a therapist immeidately, discuss with lawyer just to make sure you know legal issues and rights, DON'T make a decision now about divorce or even separation. Read "After the Affair" by Janis Spring to get more perspective on your very normal disoriented feelings. Tell kids nothing about it. Maybe pick one friend or relative whom you can absolutely trust to keep your confidence and to listen, and go out with her occasionally. Give yourself a couple of months to see how you feel, how he feels. I am sure without a doubt that he's goiing to see what an idiot he is (unless he is a true idiot) and beg to come back. Men have been known to stray once and not again. Even though it's hard for you to redevelop trust, people usually (I think I'm right) stay in marriages after affairs, so don't feel bad if that's your choice, and you feel he's truly repentent and shocked himself at what he's done. (This may take time.) Good luck. As folks have said, this is NO reflection on you. It is his problem, and right now he has a big one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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He didn't have a one night stand, he's had an ongoing relationship. It sounds like the husband wants to be with the 21 year old babysitter, regardless of how silly that really is. If he had a oe night stand I think it might be different, he has full blown relationship, and I'm sure the kids already sense something betwen the husband and the babysitter. When people are in the lust state they have a hard time controlling themselves in front of people. I'm sure a lot of people know. You think a 21 year old can keep her mouth shut! Please! Time to get a divorce! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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I don't think it's as simple as anything-over-one-night automatically means a divorce. But maybe it's a good rule to follow. Have you been cheated on (that you know about?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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This is total b.s.: >> if you look back on the past year your marriage has proably been neglected and suffering and affairs are major symptoms of that<< [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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^^This is usually the line that the affairees use -- blame it on the nonparticipating spouse. You didn't neglect anything; he got horny. Don't let anyone lay that trip on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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I posted that, MY husband cheated on me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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and you think it was caused by your neglecting the marriage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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I think I may have neglected and isolated my husband. He was wrong for cheating, but having this behind me for so long and having relationships after, I realize there was more to our marriage crumbling then just his affair, I take some responsiblility. Did it suck when it was happening,YES, did I pray he'd get hit by a truck, YES, but eventually when I could get past the anger and stop being a victim it let me move on and take some valuable lessons to the next relationship. That's all I am saying, of course it's not her fault, nor does she deserve this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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I wonder how many times DWs would divorce if they could be fairly sure that like you they'd have a "next" relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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At the time you don't think you'll ever be able to love and trust again, so I think that aspect is very scary, but most people I know do find a "next" relationship, even people I thought would never meet anyone did. There is a lid for every pot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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ita - when my dh cheated, our marriage was solid i thought, we just had twin boys and we were very happy - obviously we had a little less time on our relationship bc we had premie twins to care for, but we still had time for each other and did have sex - though not as mch as we did before the kids were born- it was all normal in my opinion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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Right. Was it a work-related affair? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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yes, dh was a part-time personal trainer in addition to working in real estate - he had an affair with a young girl he was training [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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Don't call me a FAIRY. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:45 PM Flag
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har har?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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very funny...this is heavy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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i was "the other woman" once when i was younger - i was 20 years old and had an affair with a 42 year old man with 5 kids and a wife of 21 years. he told me he was leaving his wife and we would travel the world together, he told me he was in love with me, i was pregnant with his child but miscarried and he told me we would try again bc he wanted to have a baseball team of kids with me, at 20 years old i was so naive, i didn't even think about his wife and kids bc he told me they were getting divorced. after our affair ended and i grew older, i realized i was just there for him to ave sex with. men are disgusting and i am still disgusted by myself doing that to another woman, one with kids, now that i have a family of my own and a husband i couldnt imagine losing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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Thanks for giving the affair partner's point of view. I guess here she and not-so-D H were sort of playing 'house with his kids. OP, has any of this helped you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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no one knew i was seeing a married man - i kept it secret - when he and i were over, i completely broke down, i stayed in bed, i cried, he sucked the life out of me and no one knew what was going on for the longest time, i finally told a good friend of mine and she made me go see a therapist and it saved me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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Well, it happens. You learned your lesson the hard way. No one is immune to a cheating spouse, I don't care what anyone says or how grrat their spouse is, you and me included! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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For your emotional pain, I highly recommend getting "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. I bet you can purchase it through itunes as an audiobook. Her husband left her for another woman and she became a buddhist monk. (Not suggesting you do the same...) I am sorry, I am certain you are in a great deal of pain! You WILL make it through this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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What do not kill you will make you strong! and this my friend shall make you stronger, from what you wrote you seems like a strong person not only strong for your self but for your kids. Please be true to your self, the only choice you have is to either STAY/LEAVE, but remember you and only you, have to live with your decision, the question is, can you live with your decision? and if you can then the only therapist you need is god and your self. I think you should start your own therapy sessions by speaking to him, words sometimes hit harder than a fist and sometimes all we need is a little conversation so talk to him you never know, you might feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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OP -- come back tomorrow and tell us how you're doing, ok? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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i will thank you all so much, i am going to talk to him tonight, he is coming over at 9 and i am nervous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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i am so sorry. i have a friend that is in the middle of an affair that has lasted 4 years. they are both married. he has 2 kids, she has a baby. they've cooled it off since she had the baby (which is definitely her husbands). sad thing is, she feels they are both very unhappy with their marriages and truly love each other but will never be able to be together. they figure they should take what they can get and it is better to have the affair then destroy the home lives of their kids. sometimes i think that is smart of her, sometimes i think it's delusional. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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Best of luck to you. I don't know if you are religious or believe in Karma, but he will lose more in the end than you do, although it's hard to see that now with 3 young dc's. There are too many men doing this b/c society deems it o.k. - they really don't get punished by the legal system, and aren't ostracized by their friends. Sometimes I yearn for the days when flogging and hanging were in fashion . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 04:41 PM Flag
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np: you may want to see a divorce lawyer even if you don't want to get divorced, so you understand the "rules" of this ugly process, and what influences custody and financial decisions by the court. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 04:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone watching Brokeback? Ledger was so good. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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channel?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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Bravo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:05 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is gone for 4 days and comes home early. Asks me what's for dinner and after he decides he want something else. Leaves in a huff for the grocery store doesn't ask if we need anything. Come home and has a fit becasue there's no cheese for his burger. Is this normal? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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My dh sometimes acts up after being away for a couple of days- its just an adjustment thing- sometimes i think he wants a heros welcome and all i can give him is mac and cheese with hot dogs cut up inside [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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I'd tell him to shove it up is ass, myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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^^^his [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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my dh barely spoke to me for a day bc i bought him the 8 pack of razors rather than the 4 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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my dh was so pissed at me the other night because i bought 1% milk instead of 2% [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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He sounds really immature. When things cool down (maybe a day or two) I would talk to him about this. He has to realize that while he is away, you are not on vacation. Behaving this way towards you is not fair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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no, he is being a baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
[ - ] i want to give our nanny a raise but i really can't afford to. wwyd? she hasn't yet asked for one but she's been with us 9 months and i think wants one. we have one dc, 12 mo, and our nanny adores her and wants to take her for the weekend all the time, etc. should i be stressing out about this? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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A raise shouldn't come up until her 12 month anniversary. But then, if you don't raise her she will take that as a sign you are displeased. start saving for that raise if you want to keep her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Why can I never get my ds to go to sleep? I put him to bed 1.5 hours ago, and he's still in bed whispering to himself. I'm just thankful he's staying in his room (hope I didn't jinx myself by saying that). 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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Remember - you can make them go to bed, but you can't make them go to sleep. Let him whisper. He'll fall asleep eventually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Thanks. I'm trying not to stress about it, just worried about when he has to start getting up earlier for K in the fall. It's going to be a tough transition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:52 PM Flag
[ - ] my gym membership is about to expire - do you think it is better to renew or just buy myself an elliptical for the house 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.27.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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dh and i bought a treadmill a few months ago after db was born and i think it's the best thing we ever bought. it makes working out so much easier. you save even more time than you think you will by having your "gym" at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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we bought a treadmill -- I still don't get to work out as much as I'd like, but I definitely do it more than I would if I had to go to a gym. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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