• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] What does a bedbug bite look like? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:05 AM Flag
»
I think you tend to get a row of little red spots but I'm not sure [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:12 AM Flag
[ - ] I would like to do a book exchange birthday party for my 3-year-old. Please help with how to explain it on the birthday invitation succinctly... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:00 AM Flag
»
in lieu of gift, bring a copy of your favorite book for a book exchange [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:32 AM Flag
»
what is a book exchange? Who are you exchanging books with? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 10:33 AM Flag
»
Sounds like a nice idea. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 06:10 AM Flag
»
don't. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 09:54 AM Flag
»
instead of a b-day gift, please bring a wrapped children's book for our book exchange (that's all you need to say--people don't need to understand it from the invitation, just know what to bring) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 10:36 AM Flag
[ - ] So, is dh having an affair? Lately before he leaves for work, he is intense about having sex. I haven't understood, but now I'm thinking that it has to do with something else going on in his life, like an affair. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:30 PM Flag
»
enjoy it! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:32 PM Flag
»
Or he is under pressure at work and likes the sex for stress relief. Or he gets excited (or high) thinking about work and it drives his sexual appetite. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:45 PM Flag
»
No. If he's having an affair he wouldn't need sex with you (right?). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:36 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have any good ghost stories? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:22 PM Flag
[ - ] using this for the first time since they switched the format. this blows. is there any way to always see what time the posts were written? without clicking the "options" button? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:34 PM Flag
»
Don't think so but you can select Sort by recency on the settings so you get the newest posts first. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:01 AM Flag
[ - ] what are the advantages and disadvantages of a destination wedding? my fiance and i were thinking bermuda, but i am so torn bc i would hate to make people travel so far and i would hate for any close friends or family to miss the wedding, but i would just love a laidback wedding on a beach that i love 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Expecting 06.27.08, 09:25 PM Flag
»
if your friends and family aren't loaded, you won't have much of a turnout. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:27 PM Flag
»
that is what i worry - we were thinking we could get there via cruiseship since flying is expensive and then he and i would stay there for our honeymoon, and perhaps we would even try and chip in on cost for guests [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:29 PM Flag
»
It depends on your family/friends situation. I got married in my hometown and my mother and grandmother were the only people who did not have to travel for the wedding. So had I chosen a destination wedding, there would have been little difference. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:44 PM Flag
»
i'm guessing her friends and family don't live in Bermuda [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:46 PM Flag
»
But what would be the difference? 99% of the guests at my wedding traveled to NYC for my wedding. Would it have been so different for them to have traveled to Bermuda? They still would have had travel costs, hotel costs, etc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:11 PM Flag
»
we did it - you have to go in it with the attitude of "we really want you to come, but it's totally understandable if you don't. expect few guests and even fewer gifts. we worked with a travel agent and got a group fair for the flights and hotel. we had a decent turnout - about 50 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:46 PM Flag
[ - ] How many are on now???? Count please. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:17 PM Flag
[ - ] My grandfather executed a will in his 90's and listed the then great-grandhcildren. The stupid attorney apparently never mentioned future great-grandchildren. My grandfather died when my dd was 2 and she doesn't get what all the other grandkids get - $100k. I'm so pissed at my family for not trying to settle it fairly. 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:16 PM Flag
»
what should they do? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:19 PM Flag
»
At least acknowledge it and maybe at least offer to contribute a part of what the parents received toward my dd. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:24 PM Flag
»
np: That is absurd. What entitles your daughter to anyone else's inheritance? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:35 PM Flag
»
Op- trust me, if your siblings got $100k and you did not, you'd want things settled fairly. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:48 PM Flag
»
how many dc do you have? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:53 PM Flag
»
If my parents wanted to give my siblings money and not me, that is fair. What is unfair would be stripping my parents of their right to give away their money as they see fit. I wouldn't want anyone telling me that because I have Suzy a red bicycle for Christmas I HAVE to give a red bicycle to Johnny too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:53 PM Flag
»
Op- thanks, but you'e missing the point [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:55 PM Flag
»
^^think Heath Ledger not including his dd in his will [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:56 PM Flag
»
How is this even remotely similar? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:01 PM Flag
»
Heath Ledger had trusts for his dd and she was the beneficiary of most of his assets. She probably won't suffer because of her father's poorly written will (although she may pay more in estate taxes). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:03 PM Flag
»
I understand your point. You want your dd to have what her siblings/cousins got. But you are trying to make this an issue of fairness, and it isn't. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:59 PM Flag
»
i think you would have a point if you had a mean parent who disinherited you and your non-disinherited sibling didn't kick in something for you. when you're talking about three generations removed, it sounds a bit trivial. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:10 PM Flag
»
Why don't you give your inheritance to your dd? Then she could get the same the other greatgrandchildren. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:15 PM Flag
»
how do you know that the attorney made a mistake? Isn't it possible that your grandfather only intended to share his estate with the ggc that he knew when he executed the will? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:26 PM Flag
»
OP- out of all the great grandkids, he was closest to mine. He spent 2 yrs with my dd before he died...... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:28 PM Flag
»
np: Then he had two years to update his will or to create a trust for your dd. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:34 PM Flag
»
OP- well, I'd argue he was senile when he executed the will, and if not, definitely shortly thereafter. He'd tell me the same story about my dd 10-12 times each visit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:46 PM Flag
»
Are you contesting the will on the grounds that your grandfather was not mentally competent to execute it? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:47 PM Flag
»
that's the problem: if he was senile AFTER he executed the will, but not at the time that he executed the will, then the will is still valid. There were witnesses to the signing of the will, no? Have you asked them whether he was mentally competent when he drafted the will? Did you think that he was "all there" during the time frame that he executed the will? If you really think that he was not mentally competent to author the will, then you could contest it in probate court, I believe. I can assure you that your other family members will never forgive you for this. It doesn't sound like there is anything else glaringly wrong with the will. Also, it sounds like you probably got a big pile of money yourself if great grandchildren got $100K. Why not create a trust from your inheritance for dd? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:52 PM Flag
»
are your relatives aware of the close relationship that existed between your dd and your grandfather? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:37 PM Flag
»
how "close" could a senile 90+ y.o. man feel to a 2 y.o.? I'm sure you're hurt but I suspect you're exaggerating here. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:01 PM Flag
»
you make me glad all MY relatives died with nothing left in the bank. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:26 PM Flag
»
I hope my parents blow every cent they have on a wonderful retirement. Because when my sister finds out she was disinherited, she will pitch a fit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:37 PM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:39 PM Flag
»
It sounds like it was settled fairly: In accordance with your grandfather's wishes. Your anger isn't with the attorney or your siblings/cousins. It's with your grandfather. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:33 PM Flag
»
OP- I disagree. Of course my grandfather wanted to leave $ to every great-grandchild. . [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:47 PM Flag
»
If your grandfather died without a will, we could talk about the fair way to distribute his wealth. Your opinion of his wishes would have some weight in that conversation. But he did have a will. He documented his wishes. You may not be happy with his wishes and his decision to disinherit any children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren born after the will. But the only fair thing is to honor his wishes. Can you imagine if we routinely ignored wills and just let families argue amongst themselves to settle estates? No one would get to control how their wealth was distributed after their death! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:51 PM Flag
»
OP- ACtually, some states have a protection for this type of thing when it happens with children (as opposed to great-grandkids.) It's not rocket science. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:53 PM Flag
»
isn't that only with minor children? there's a sound public policy reason for that. Great grandchildren, not so much. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:56 PM Flag
»
It's not a stretch. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:58 PM Flag
»
np: It is a stretch. Parents have a financial responsibility to minor children. Grandparents do not have a financial responsibility to grandchildren. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:00 PM Flag
»
Correct. It is very hard to disinherit children in many states. But it can be done. If you want to do it, you engage a good estate attorney to make it very hard for your issues to challenge the will. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:58 PM Flag
»
ITA. Your grandfather left $ to people he actually knew. Nuf said. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:24 PM Flag
»
i get why you're upset - you feel like your kid's been cheated. but you come off as so entitled. it's just one of those things in life that suck. move on. tho i am surprised that the other parents (your sibs and cousins) didnt offer to split the total evenly. how many g-g-dc? how many g-dc? was your dc the only one left out? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:06 PM Flag
»
Have you considered the tax impact of this? First, the beneficiaries would (likely) pay the estate tax. Then they would pay gift tax to give money to OP's dd. I can't imagine OP would be willing to pick up the tab for the gift taxes. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:09 PM Flag
»
and she should then pick up part of the estate tax as well if she's going to benefit from the estate, suddenly that $100K is seeming like a lot less. Isn't peace within the tribe worth more than whatever you'd net by making an issue of this? Is there a reason why your family members should perceive you as financially needy in general? That might also make a difference. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:14 PM Flag
»
sheesh. give her a break. she's upset that her dc was kind of cheated (in all honestly, sounds like it was an oversight by the g-father, NOT the atty.) i am sure that anyone in her shoes would feel the same way [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:17 PM Flag
»
i would definitely feel slighted but not angry at dd's second cousin's once removed for not offering her money. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:20 PM Flag
»
I understand feeling upset. I don't understand whining about fairness or expecting a payout from those mentioned in the will. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:22 PM Flag
»
In a worst case, we are looking at the $100K being reduced to less than $25K. I know nothing of the will or the estate, so I will assume that the $100K is subject to estate tax (assume a 55% tax rate). Then $12K of the remaining $45K can pass tax free (assuming that the giftor doesn't want to dip into their lifetime allowance). This balance would be hit by gift taxes (paid by giftor, I assume transfered to giftee) at about 60%. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:20 PM Flag
»
Leading to dd getting a grand total of about $25K. Is this worth ruining relationships with family members? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:21 PM Flag
»
if these numbers are accurate, then OP should feel a bit better right now. It's not such a big deal after all. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:22 PM Flag
»
I can't tell you if the numbers are correct, because I know nothing about the estate or estate plan. But the tax rates for estate taxes and gift taxes are very, very high. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:24 PM Flag
»
Our trust is set up the same way. We are lucky that everyone has been really fare about the whole thing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:23 PM Flag
»
After I went to great pains to write my will, I expect my heirs to respect my wishes. I don't want my assets distributed according to anyone else's opinion of what is fair. My opinion is the only one that matters in this case. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 10:27 PM Flag
»
did you talk to an attorney? that's a huge mistake--it's standard to put "hereafter born". [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:34 AM Flag
[ - ] I hate DH right now. am main breadwinner, had rough week and way behind on some stuff. did some research for my sister's gift and he came down angry i didn't go to bed when he did, announces to me that he jerked off, then slammed the bedroom door which is a HUGE problem for me, I hate that habit of his, DCs sleeping on same floor! what a complete and utter *sshole 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:14 PM Flag
»
^ and this is after his 6 hr guys night out last night - all during the time when a car was sitting in front of our house last night with the lights on, I'm home along with DCs freaked out and it took him ONE friggin hour to call me back. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:16 PM Flag
»
omigod. take a lude why don't you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:17 PM Flag
»
why did you have to mention that you are the breadwinner? i might slam the door on you too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:16 PM Flag
»
yeah, whatever, feeling frustrated that I'm going to pay for a family trip and he's not [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:17 PM Flag
»
You mentioned it because you work hard during the day and busy at night and he's a jerk for giving you a hard time [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:26 PM Flag
»
wow. that's deserving of some therapy right there. it's a family. your family. you think only HE should pay for it? Yeah, I'd slam the door on you too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:20 AM Flag
»
You need to have an affair. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:33 AM Flag
»
someone is feeling majorly emasculated... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 05:17 AM Flag
[ - ] i hate you all. all of you. you are pathetic and warped and entitled and sheep and scary. may god have mercy on all of your souls. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:55 PM Flag
»
I am actually quite original! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:57 PM Flag
»
guess your dc did not get into Anderson [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:15 PM Flag
»
np: but it wouldn't mean anything if she had since we all know the kids are prepped imbeciles, the test is meaningless and a 99 ain't all that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:17 PM Flag
»
Yes, i am. so what?! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 09:17 PM Flag
»
Well, it didn't start here. God has needed to have mercy on my soul for quite a few years now. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 03:54 AM Flag
»
Baaaaa (sheep?)? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 04:34 AM Flag
»
yeah sheep. you all want to follow each other around in a herd without thinking for yourselves. and you all have the same haircut. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 10:18 AM Flag
»
threre's no such thing as god. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 10:28 AM Flag
»
"This" shouldn't get you that angry. And god is a character in a fairy tale. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.28.08, 11:33 AM Flag
[ - ] i would like to start 'tutoring' for extra money. i can teach direct subjects or just do enrichment work with younger kids. how does one go about getting students? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:35 PM Flag
»
Are you licensed? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:35 PM Flag
»
you don't need to be licensed. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:36 PM Flag
»
But are you? That would be a great marketing tool [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:36 PM Flag
»
no. not a teacher. former investment banker, actually. sahm for almost 10 yrs now. expenses very high and dh earnings keep going down. parents are elderly and i expect that i will be caring for them within the next 2-5 yrs. feeling very scared about financial future. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:39 PM Flag
»
I would only hire a tutor who could prove some sort of educational background. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:40 PM Flag
»
hmmm. ok, good point. i am ivy league grad, former investment banker, but no applicable teaching experience except my 4 kids. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:44 PM Flag
»
Get some teaching experience by going to school for it. Ivy league doesn't impress me, nor does investment banking. I am both, too [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:47 PM Flag
»
a friend of mine tutors. she has no teaching background, but she gets lots of clients through word of mouth. Her 2 boys are insanely bright and inquisitive and the whole neighborhood wants a piece of her. perhaps an hour or 2 week of interesting discourse and enrichment activities from a super-mom can do wonders. If you need the $, just go for it. Start mentioning to friends, put a sign up at the local library. etc. GL. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.27.08, 08:51 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions