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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] what is the website i can search to see if sex offenders live in our neighborhood? we are looking to a buy a house and wanted to check. thanks 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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Don't know about that but I'd worry about the ones not on the lists too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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was just thinking the same thing...and what difference does it make if they live in your neighborhood or the neighborhood right next to yours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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op: just wanted to make sure it wasn't the house next door. found the site and it is fascinating. here on uws, there are about 8 right around my block... where we want to move there is one listed, but not on our street.. again, i know that doesn't mean anything but for people buying houses who do a search it matters if it's on either side of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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lol, I just posted below about our move. I think there are probably tons in NYC...the anonymity of the city probably attracts them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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that said, I just checked the zip for where we are moving (scarsdale) and none came up...I feel a lot safer now :)....here...http://www.criminaljustice.state.ny.us/nsor/search_index.htm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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It just means they haven't caught them yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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absolutely! People in scarsdale probably can afford the better lawyers and plea bargain their way out of having to register. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:37 AM Flag
[ - ] is the pacifier habit hard to break? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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My ds was reliant on it to sleep but kept waking up and crying for it, so we went cold turkey at 10 months. Took 3-4 nights and then it was over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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same here, but 18 mos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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op - thanks. thinking of it for my 2 mos old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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then it really should be no problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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^^it just seems that she really needs to suck to fall asleep and sometimes her fingers (or my breast) just don't seem to cut it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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why do you need to take it already? dont want to form the habit? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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op - sorry. i've been unclear. i meant i have never given it to her. I am thinking of giving it to her now but was just wondering if when the time comes a few months/year from now, it will be very difficult for me to take it away from her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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Ohhh---I would give it to her. I'm the OR, and I started the paci when ds was 3 months. That's when he really seemed to need it. Took it away at 10 months with a modified Ferber-ish CIO and that was that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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if a 2 mo old needs it for soothing dont take it yet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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op -oh, i have not started giving it to her yet but thinking it might be a good idea. I just heard horror stories about breaking the pacifier habit so wanted to get feedback before going down that path [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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got it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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ditto, except at6mo--and it only took one night. i'd get rid of the paci early. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:05 AM Flag
[ - ] The only people that EVER give up their seat for me on the subway (I am 7 months pregnant) are African American men. They are also the only ones who ever help me with my stroller or groceries. All ages. What's up with that? Are their mothers doing something that I need to know about? 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.29.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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When I was pregnant, I found the same thing....and also older woman. I felt so guilty taking a seat from an older woman, but they would always insist saying the were pregnant once, too. This convo would go on in front of plenty of people who never would look up from their papers, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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i know what you mean. hey, they were reaised right and with a sense of consciousness about others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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and white businessman are the absolute worst. won't budge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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my white dh gives up his seat. He was raised poor but proper. I think it's an entitlement thing that certain people are raised with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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Your DH is the only one. White guys in suits NEVER offer a seat. They also make sure to avoid eye contact with you. Otherwise they might have to feel guilty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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my white dh does the same thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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That's two! But I never encountered them, and most pregnant women I know never did, either. When I was on crutches, no one offered me a seat either. Just astonishing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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np. So does mine. And when I was pregnant I had white guys in suits offering me seats. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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ITA!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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^^raised [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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The subway complaints make me crazy: if you need to sit down, ask for a seat. If you're too embarrassed to ask for a seat, then you don't really need it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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I think you are totally wrong. A seat should be offered to a pregnant women or an elderly person. It is RUDE not to offer your seat up to them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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Eh...people are busy, tired, and caught up in their own lives. Not everyone realizes (or cares) that a woman is pregnant. If you need the seat, be a grown up and ask for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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np: she's not saying she needs it, just that she's noticed a trend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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Just seems like a tired observation. It's not consistent with my own experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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well, if it's not consistent with your own experience then it definitely can't be true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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That wasn't my main point, but whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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NP: Seems to me your main points were: you're "crazy" that people don't ask for seats [i.e. you're emotional]; you believe that if you don't ask, you don't need it [e.g., you're illogical]; and implied in all of your comments is the point that you lack a sense of empathy and good manners. Whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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well said!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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np: ITTTA, i almost never look at other people on the subway. if a see an obviously pregnant woman, very old person, or small kid, i offer up my seat. but usually i'm just reading the paper, ignoring everyone else. and, btw, when did pregnancy become a disability? so you stand for a while, bfd. i was 9mos pregnancy in sept (twice) and often turned down seat offers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Well bully for you. Maybe not everyone has your experience. Most women I know would have really, really welcomed a seat when pregnant. Also, falling while pregnant is fairly dangerous. Sitting is safer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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NP: Are these imperiled women also mute? What's the problem with asking for a seat from someone who may not have noticed you need one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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Men of all races usually help me with stroller, etc. It makes sense to me: as a rule, they're stronger and less likely to be pushing a stroller themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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why do you need so much help? especially from men? I have twins, and never sat around kvetching about how men owe me help. You sound like a whiny dependent child! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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In London when I was about 7m pg I gave up my seat to a more pg lady who was obviously struggling to stand on a bus. No one else moved for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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Obvious to YOU. I've been on the subway with a cast and crutches and still had to ask someone to move to let me sit down. I think it's crazy to expect other people to intuit your needs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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You don't have to be a mind reader to know someone on crutches might need a seat. They can always turn it down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Right, but my point is that on a subway, bus, whatever, people are wrapped up in their own thing: thinking about work or home or whatever. It would be nice if everyone was looking out for everyone else, but that's just not the way it works. You may think it's obvious you need a seat, but it's really only obvious to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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you sound like a complete ass. i hate you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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And you sound so lovely! I'm sure people are tripping all over themselves to let you sit down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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when I'm with my three kids, yes -- but never white women. Go figure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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it changes above 96th street. when i taught in the bronx, this was the point where everyone offered me a seat if i was standing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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I live on 96th, and no matter which direction I was going while preg and then stroller-toting, it was hispanic or black women or men who offered a seat or help. It sensitized me, and now I always try to help, also with the elderly or disabled (now that my mom needs help). But I almost never, ever see white men or women help anyone (except DH but only when he's in a good mood). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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i haven't been pregnant in NYC, but I have noticed that when I go on the subway with 3 kids, one in a stroller, I will ALWAYS be offered help on the stairs by AA men, followed oftentimes by AA women, occasionally (actually rarely) by white men, and NEVER by white women. There is a huge cultural divide and it's interesting to see someone else mention it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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I'm a white woman and offer my seat if I notice a pregnant woman. My problem is that my nose is usally in a book, so you could be standing right in front of me, and I wouldn't notice most of the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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Why do you need help with your groceries? I can understand the stroller if you're pg, but if you were not pg, you shouldn't take the subway if you're not prepared to carry your own stroller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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And who takes the subway to buy groceries? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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or: I've done that sometimes. A trip to Whole Foods or Trader Joes, but would never carry more thatn a few bags back on the subway. More than that, and I take a cab. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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I sort of assume that Whole Foods or Trader Joes is a luxury. I'm not sure I'd go out of my way to help someone weighted down with WF bags (not that it's an issue--if I'm on the subway, I'm with 2 DCs and have my own issues). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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FTR, I never accept the help -- I have a routine of how I carry my stroller, but I posted above about who is OFFERING help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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so true, but i find it true for latino men as well as for black men. always hold the door and help me with the stroller, etc... white men are the ones to bow their heads and rush past, never ever stop, so smug. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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My pet peeve is men who sit and spread their legs wide. I've become bold and sit next to them and spread my legs wide against theirs so they pull in. Also hate loud cell phone talkers... but I find if you gesture to them they usually tone down. Sometimes people need a little reminder, same with preg, elderly etc. If you lock eyes with someone they'll often snap out of their commuting cacoon and remember how they're supposed to behave (except for most white men of course). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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I kept hearing the same thing on UB so I started to keep track when I began to show - I take a subway and a bus every morning (am 7 mos preg now), and I have not found the stereotype above to be true - most people of all colors ages and ethnicities get up for me - there is no trend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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That is what I have found as well. NYers are generally nice people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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SO true, and yet, AA men as a demographic group don't have a good statistical record of standing by their women and children. I wonder about this because I also often see AA men with kids on public trans being great dads... maybe I notice this more because it goes against my assumptions? Of course it's mostly moms toting kids, but when I see dads doing it, the AA dads seem way more engaged than the white dads. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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so annoying - this is posted atleast once a month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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that was the same with me! and also latino men!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 09:19 AM Flag
[ - ] it's been a long time since I have made cupcakes or cake (even from mix) - DDs party is Tuesday. Can I bake tonight and store or do I need to do tomorrow night? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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should do tomorrow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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Tomorrow. You can make the frosting tonight (refrigerate in an air tight container and bring to room temp when ready to frost). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:40 AM Flag
[ - ] I used to think that Warren Buffet and Jimmy Buffet were the same person. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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Wow, in the olden days of UB, like 2 months ago, a post like this would have gotten 20 posts on what a dope OP is. Now, crickets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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i agree...people have really grown up a bit here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:57 AM Flag
[ - ] what ready to use formula is safe to use given the concerns with BPA? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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You can use the cans and put in a BPA free safe bottle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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The ones in the glass or plastic nursettes. Nothing in cans (except the powdered formula). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Does a black tie wedding require my wearing a floor-length dress or would a shorter dress be OK. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:49 AM Flag
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Shorter is fine as long as it's fancy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:25 AM Flag
[ - ] how much milk does an 8 month old need? my dd eats a lot of solids, and definitely not drinking as much milk as usual (ebf but starting to give formula as well). do i need to be concerned about it? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.29.08, 04:13 AM Flag
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when my dd was on solids, she had 3 bottles a day of milk (morning, afternoon and before bed) BUT they were never more than 6oz since she wasn't big on drinking that much (mind you this was after her 1yr bday_ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:20 AM Flag
[ - ] How much does your 5 week old sleep? I feel like mine is hardly awake. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:12 AM Flag
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they sleep a lot..they are supposed to. It will get shorter and shorter by the month but I think they sleep in total like 18 hrs a day or more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:21 AM Flag
[ - ] bought my niece a coach wristlet for 8th grade graduation. Want to put some $ in it for her. How much is appropriate? $20? $50? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 03:40 AM Flag
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what you could afford [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:21 AM Flag
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No more than 25 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:26 AM Flag
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than do $20..the wristlet is the major gift anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:34 AM Flag
[ - ] NYC Moms- Our wonderful Nanny (our daughter's "3rd Parent") (UWS) needs a f/t position, as we only need her p/t. She is great w/newborns and toddlers. Any sense of how to help her. I've posted on Craigslist. Other ideas? Thanks. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.29.08, 03:22 AM Flag
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Advertise on local baby/kids class notice boards [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:24 AM Flag
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There's a website called "prenatalyoga.com" where you can post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:30 AM Flag
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I need a baby nurse for 2 weeks in August. Please let me know her salary and if she's available in late August. Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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I am looking for a fulltime nanny in December when my baby is 3 months and I have to go back to work. If this works, how can I get in touch with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:54 PM Flag
[ - ] My sister who I see only a few times a year disciplines my ds too much & oohs & ahhs over my dd. Even my mom commented that she is hard on my ds and treats dd much better. I don't want my sister (we're not close BTW) to ever discipline my ds - especially if I'm there... What clever comment can I make to shut her up? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 10:08 PM Flag
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^^I was thinking of saying..."X...you discipline your child and I'll discipline mine" but that seems harsh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 10:09 PM Flag
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Doesn't seem too harsh to me at all. Very matter of fact. Doesn't get into any deeper feelings. I think that's the way to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:13 AM Flag
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what is she disciplining your ds for? is it possible he's a pita and you don't have perspective? if he's an angel who never has negative behavioral situations other than with your sister, then i would step in the next time she says something to him and just be totally straight with her. say what you said here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:16 PM Flag
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it's your sister. why do you need a clever comment? just tell her keep her piehole shut around your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:11 AM Flag
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tell her that you are his mother and if he needs disciplining you will do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:22 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:28 AM Flag
[ - ] has anyone ever had to do CIO again on a 2 yo? our great sleeper has been up increasingly over the last two weeks and tonight has been up on and off all night so far asking for all kinds of things. She's not sick, but we gave her tylenol just in case. Any ideas? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 10:07 PM Flag
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This is what 2yo's do to test boundaries. They ask for stuff and you say no, they go to sleep. If you give in to the demands they will push their luck more and more...one more story, drink, song etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:28 AM Flag
[ - ] testing 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 10:06 PM Flag
[ - ] what was the hardest serious relationship you left and why? what were the signs you were unhappy and there was just no going forward with him? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 09:06 PM Flag
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Get this book: Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 03:41 AM Flag
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I was engaged to this guy and we were together for 4yrs. He was gay, verbally abusive. I couldn't do it anymore. I realized that I deserved more than I was getting and I learned to love myself. I thought it would be really hard at first but once I got out, I was so happy and met my dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:23 AM Flag
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Ex husband 10 years things just were there anymore. Regret it sometimes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:49 AM Flag
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