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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Who has 3 or more? Is it possible to live a life not utterly chaotic with that many? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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watching. pg w/#3 right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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All the homes I visit with 3+ kids seem chaotic to me but the parents don't seem to notice! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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ita. i think you have to not be able to notice to manage it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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Or maybe you are just having to much fun to mind :> [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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I really hope this is true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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lol! I have 4 & it is easier than only having one - they all look out for each other & entertain each other, I remember with the first it was always "watch me! watch me! watch me!" so I didn't have any time for myself then anyway! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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that's nice to hear... we're about to go for #3. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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I'm afraid I have very little patience now for the endless obsessing over every little detail of a singleton. & I can say that bec I was one of them - I didn't have my 2nd dc till first was 5 so I was as bad as the rest. But now I feel like I have a much healthier relationship with all of them - give them tons of love but more space to figure out things themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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np: I feel that way just going from 1 to 2. I think back and just groan at how I must have been. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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My mom said that three put her over the edge. In her words, "two hands for two kids". My sister and I are now very much convinced that we only want two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 09:07 PM Flag
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what a terrible thing to say to her own children! I hope you were not the unwanted 3nd child! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 09:32 PM Flag
[ - ] heard the baby's heartbeat with a doppler today--11 weeks. what are my chances of miscarriage now? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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i know it drops significantly. congrats. so exciting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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ita - congrats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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thanks. baby #3. I'm a bit nervous but excited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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I think when/if I get pg with #3 I will be more nervous than with the other 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on mandatory flu jabs for pre-schoolers? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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I'm not a fan and I'm not generally anti vaccine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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I'm not a fan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.16.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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not a fan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.16.08, 06:33 AM Flag
[ - ] does anyone ever get a bad written report on the erbs? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.15.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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The worst I've heard of had comments like kid "benefited from redirection" and that he was easily distracted. ALL kids are a "pleasure" or "joy" or simlar to test (last sentence of every report), by the way. Sometimes it's "working with so and so was a *blank*. Really just a form. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 09:19 PM Flag
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if some subtest is really bad - it says the child's skill in that area is still developing (meaning not developed yet). Friend's DC rec'd a 30 on performance and that section of report was still positive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.16.08, 03:56 AM Flag
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my dd had a negative report with a score in the 90's. It said she preferred to play and touch things in the room and that she needed constant redirection. It said that tired easily and complained and asked to stop after every question. It did not say she was a delight to work with. she was shut out and we're going to zoned public in the Fall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.17.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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sorry to hear this...sounds like the tester was not v. patient. good luck at your zoned school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.17.08, 11:30 AM Flag
[ - ] someone on earlier had 3 boys and was pg w/#4 and someone commented that statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of her having another boy. can anyone share a little more information on this or give me a link to some? I can't find it with what I'm googling. tia 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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anyone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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I was interested in that too. I know that the chance of having a boy is slightly more than 50% but I don't know what makes it more likely that you would have a 4th boy (if anything would). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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I have 3 boys and have a friend with 5 boys. Apparently the more you have of one sex the greater chance that the next and subsequent dbs will be boys. Because the dh's sperm determines the sex of db [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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this makes no sense. sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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so it's not about odds but about an overwhelmingly male sperm count? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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op but why is this? I want an explanation, if there is one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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i'm not sure where this person got her info, but this poster says it's an old wives tale: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080303130904AA0iZv4 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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op thanks, that's at least a semi-scientific explanation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't know how to counsel my friend. She knows (as in has proof) that her dh is having a serious affair. She's told him that she knows (and he's denied everything,) but she's afraid to push too far because she's pretty sure that he "has" sociopathic narcissism and that he'll react really badly - she's also concerned that he'll ruin their daughter's life. I wish that she could just get out and she's starting to plan, but she isn't in a position to do that yet. Is there anything I can do to help her? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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Just be around for her I don't think there is much else you can do. I hope things work out for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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Thanks. I'm really upset for her. I'd like to ruin both her dh and his mistress. My friend hasn't even told me half of what's going on and the little I know is just awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Tell her she can stash a bag at your house with emergency supplies (clothes, neccesities, important papers, money) just in case things do go south quickly. If she feels she has a safe place to go she may feel more confident. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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She knows she can come to us. I think her main fear is the havoc he'd wreak on their child - he already really manipulates and harasses her (the child) and it would just get so bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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wouldn't it be better for the child not to have to live with this guy? my dad is a narcissistic, controlling misanthrope, and even at age 13 when my mom left (with me & my sister), i was secretly so relieved not to have to live with him anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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I asked her that and I think on one level she agrees. On the other hand, the daughter will be a junior in HS this year and I guess that's the really tough year for college, etc. I think my friend thinks if she can just maintain for a while...I don't know. I guess he really controls things that would be pretty hard on their child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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If she is really worried than have her document every example of that behavior that she can recall & get out of that house. If she has enough ammo she can severly limit his visitation. If it is really bad she can ask for only supervised visitation. However, if she has her child's welfare at heart she needs to be prepared to make sacrifices. Since my ex was an acoholic I gave up my right to his pension and alimony & accepted a pittance in child support in agreement that he not get overnight visits till dd was 5 and then only for one night (this was arranged bet us not a court). Then I concentrated on teaching her to memorize my phone number in case "daddy fell asleep". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] We need someone to clean our blinds. Any advice? tia. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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what kind of blinds? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 09:15 PM Flag
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Sign up for Angieslist.com. Very little money, and so worth it. We never knew who to call for this type of house stuff and kept getting screwed on things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 10:35 PM Flag
[ - ] I actually love the name Raisel for a middle name. My dh won't hear of it. Drop it or continue tormenting him with it until he folds? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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Drop it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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Because it is an ugly name or because it is unfair to torment my husband into acquiesing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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Not ugly, but not great. And yes, why torment him? You need to come up with a win/win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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I am having trouble moving past it; I don't know why I am so attracted to it, other than that it was a beloved aunt's name - but she never used it, ever. She anglicized it as a child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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Well, I love, love, love Josephine. DH couldn't stand it. Then our dd'd birth mother had already chosen a name for her. We didn't have to use it. It's a name we'd never considered and more popular, I think, than Josephine. We ended up keeping it--how could we not?--and it suits DD so perfectly. I think it all just works out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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np. does your dh like Rose instead? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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He does, but I don't. I feel like Rose is now the default middle name for all the little girls I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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But is that the name your aunt used? Would it be a good compromise? It may be popular but it would still have a special meaning to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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No. She actually used Rae. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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How about that then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Never heard it before is it for a boy or girl? If dh really hates it he has to come up with something better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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It is a girl's name. It is a diminutive of Rose in Yiddish. It was also my aunt's name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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Thanks for explaining. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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my dh changed his mind at the last minute and decided he liked a name for our dd that i have always loved. but he was never dead set against it, just kinda had qualms about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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how about Raia or Raya instead? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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Hmm. I'll think about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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I like these too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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what if you let him pick the first name> [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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Tried that. Plus he gets the last name and I carry the child. But it would take some real whining on my part, since he thinks it sounds like a toaster strudel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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hee. my middle name is sorta close to that, and i loved having an unusual middle name growing up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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you don't want your child to have a name that your dh doesn't like--think about it that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Be very careful - We named my dd a name neither dh or I was really wild about over the one I really wanted & after a year both dh & I decided we couldn't keep the compromise name & legally changed it to the original one I wanted & we both agree it fits her perfectly. So whoever feels the strongest on this wins since they really won't change/adjust with time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Had the worst fight with DH last week - still a little shook up by it. Why do the fights get so much worse when there are children? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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i think it's b/c you're both so overwhelmed all the time. you're always at your limit. that's my experience anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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it was awful - we're usually really careful when we fight but this was really mean - we both feel so bad, there was a two day fight hangover [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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my dh and i have had the worst fights of our relationship since a few days before our baby was born. i hate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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Fights are sometimes worse after you have children because you have invested so much more. Just knowing that it isn't as easy to leave because you have children together can make the fights even scarier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 09:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Will be visting boston from NYC in late August. Can anyone give me some "inside" tips--where to stay that's family friendly. And where to go that isn't too touristy and a must-see? Thanks! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.15.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Go to the beach in Marblehead and eat lobster rolls by the sea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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yes, come to Devereux or Preston in Swampscott [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.16.08, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] PSA: Saw an absolutely fabulous movie: Tell No One (a french thriller). Really great, adult movie. Enjoy! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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my father raved about this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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where did you see it? in theaters now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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It's playing in 3 movies in Manhattan (lincoln plaza, on East Houston and one other). It's in theaters now. The NY Times has a review up now, but only read the first two paragraphs - the rest gives too much away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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god i miss manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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agree. saw it over the weekend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 08:44 PM Flag
[ - ] i love that despite the fact that dh has to spend one night away a week taking care of his dc that he makes me dinner in advance so that i don't have to cook the night that he is away. that, my friends and foes, is a good man. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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^^plus he took the new puppy to meet the kids and plus dinner included apps. what no takers? shame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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you crack me up - good picking, girl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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what do you mean a night away taking care of his dc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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he sounds awesome! he's a father to his child one whole night a week? WOW! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there a rule of thumb for splitting assets in a divorce in NYC? If both work, earn roughly equal incomes, and brought no assets into the marriage....is a 50/50 split a safe assumption? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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you need a divorce attorney. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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there's no way you can get decent legal advice based on the info you've provided. you need a lawyer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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