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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] My 2 yo ds just qualified for 2 sessions a week of PT, OT, and work with a special educator. DH doesn't want ANYONE to know. Is that normal or realistic? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.17.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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I'm sorry - that's hard. Ask him who he would like to keep it from so that you know what he is worried about - family , friends, coworkers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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maybe he just needs time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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He thinks people will judge your ds. Tell him people would judge a lot worse if they thought ds needed services but wasn't getting them. Yours, BTDT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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It may be normal but it isn't realistic. In my experience that is the starting point - we ended up with 10 hours of special instruction and 4 sessions of speech as well as OT at home and at the sensory gym. It would have been impossible to keep it hidden from everyone as I wasn't available for large amounts of the day. Please let him know that it isn't anything to be ashamed of - your child is still wonderful and has a great future in store - he just needs some help now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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I think your dh needs some therapy to learn how to deal with the fact that he has issues with your ds needing therapy. It is so extremely common to get pt and ot in nyc. Honestly, there was a time when my dd was the only one not in therapy in her circle of friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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how old is ds?? sometimes dhs just want to know if it is going to be a long time therapy thing, or short term, like if ds will grow out of issue then he doesn't want to tell, but if ds will need it for years then he will start to be able to share with family first and then friends etc., my dh was same way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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^^duh, sorry just saw that you typed 2 yr old [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:44 PM Flag
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Not normal, sounds like he's embarrased and he shouldn't be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:57 PM Flag
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you can't discount that it is hard, socially speaking, to have a special needs kid, people have weird reactions to you and it is just very challenging, so maybe he needs time to adjust [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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My DS #1 qualified for speech and OT, DS #2 OT, Speech and special ed. I've never met anyone who thought anything of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 05:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it safe to do the Japanese hair straightening treatment while pregnant? What about while breastfeeding? Thanks! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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are you kidding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:37 PM Flag
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I am bf-ing and plan to do it this summer. Not worried. FWIW, I would have done it while pg if I'd needed it. They don't put the real chemicals directly on your scalp, anyway--they start about a half inch down. It's just the conditioning oils that go on your scalp. The person who did my hair worked all through her two pregnancies, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:42 PM Flag
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Thanks for your input. Did your doctor say it was ok? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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Never asked. I doubt any doctor would give you a yes or no--there obviously hasn't been any research on this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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My palce makes you sign away your life if you've recently given birth and have yor hair straightened. It turns out that, since a lot of women lose a lot of hair after child birth, it's a really bad time to get the process done. Nevertheless, I got it done 2 weeks post pregnancy and all was fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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. . . and everyone has different views on what's ok during pregnancy . . I wouldn't do it, but people definitely do it and it doesn't seem to be a big deal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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you're going to be inhaling a lot of toxic fumes, I would wait until at least giving birth or late in your pregnancy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Ugh. My sister just announced she is getting a divorce. We are not ruprised but rather deeply disappointed. She insists on stating that she is committed to going through with it but always with a fake sing-songy tone. Her DH is a good man who has given her everything monetarily and genuinely enjoys spending time with her; wisks her off to trips, spas, mini and grand vacations. Yet, she insists she sacrificed 7 years of her life (the amount of time she was a SAHM to their only son). Said being home w/ their son was a big sacrifice for her. It is hard not to be angry at her and think she is being selfish. WWYD? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:11 PM Flag
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Why is she divorcing him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:14 PM Flag
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your reaction should depend upon your relationship with her. If you two are very close, than it may be good to speak with her about what she is doing and why. If you two do not have a close relationship, it's probably better to just let her do as she will. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:15 PM Flag
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what can you do? It's her life. I guess you can strongly recommend couples therapy, esp since there is a child involved. And you might gently point out how her words affect her kid, if she doesn't see that. You can never see what goes on in someone else's marriage, so I would keep any and all judgments to yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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She sacrificed 7 years of her life? The first thing I would do is suggest she never say idiotic things like that in front of my nephew. Good luck. Narcissists are so hard to deal with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:33 PM Flag
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agree- poor kid - my neice was raised by her dad because her mom left to pursue a new job and never came back [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:39 PM Flag
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will she want custody of ds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:38 PM Flag
[ - ] would you buy Z Cavaricci fashion denim for your kids? & would the label matter or would the style and price matter more? I tend to look for style/price/then label when shopping for & with my girls... 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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when I hear Z Cavaricci..I think of goomba guys driving monte carlo cars..this was my girl friends WET DREAM lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:49 PM Flag
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i look back to photos of me & friends with that white stripe down the fly and the pleats and it's almost painful..LOL. But could it make a real come-back? If the name became associated with a more current fashionable jean for girls? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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i totally hear they're on the verge of a fashion resurge! and i hear that a new girls fashion jean collection is on the way for tweens...i can't wait to see where they're sold. would you buy them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.28.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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smells like market research. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.28.08, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] We staged in Denver and sold in a day 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Ideas for stuffed animal storage where you can still see all of the animals and get them down to play with? MASSIVE collection to contain. TIA 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:55 PM Flag
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i saw on the modern tots website they had some sort of bag that you stuff them all in and it makes them into a kind of beanbag chair. you can still see them (it's clear plastic), but they are contained. we have the same issue... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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I have seen where people put a hammock up and put the stuffed animals in there; it was cute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:17 PM Flag
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this is cute, but it is a huge dust collector - and a problem if you dc has any allergies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:18 PM Flag
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we just put around dc's bed, so when dc moves around, has kind of a pillow at every nook. I cull every now and again, and when dc asks where a certain animal is, I feign curiosity and confusion. ok, that might be kind of mean [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:19 PM Flag
[ - ] with your maclaren do you miss having a cup holder? is there a stroller equivalent to a maclaren that does have a cup holder? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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do you mean a cup holder for the kids or for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:55 PM Flag
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for me to throw my cell phone, keys a drink whatever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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oh ok. I've never bought a Mac but always get a Combi. It has a a small bag and cup holder in the back [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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I bought one that attaches to the side [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Today's Rant: Every time my FIL comes to visit it sends me into a complete tailspin. He is one of those can't-sit-still, controlling, pushing types. He re-arranged everything, buys stuff for our place without asking (eg: changed out our thermostat for one he preferred) and has an opinion about everything I'm doing wrong as a parent and wife. DH just stands by loving it bc he procrastinates on everything. DS loves him so I try to not kill him while he is here. THank God he is gone. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.17.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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he sounds awful! glad he's gone, but why does DH let him do this? can you talk to him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:17 PM Flag
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Your FIL sounds like my mother....I am sorry. The way I deal with my mother is I tell her that she is being a certain way and that I really do not appreciate it. I tell her that I would rather have her be supportive and stop critiquing everything. Perhaps it would be best if your DH did this seeing as it is his father. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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Yuck, no! Kind of like a less handsome Bill Murray. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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Mine is. 48 and built like a Mac truck. Hot as hell. I tell him all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:34 PM Flag
[ - ] LA MOMS: help! DH is interviewing for job in Playa Vista. I am WAHM. 2 dc (1 year old and son entering K). Where should we look to live that is safe/good schools/etc. We would rent first. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Los Angeles 07.17.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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Culver City is thriving [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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I know the schools in Manhattan Beach and Hermosa Beach are excellent (they have their own school districts). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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Rendondo Beach, Colver City is the pits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it normal/common to get a yeast infection when pg? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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yes, very [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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yes, very common. I had one w/ my first, took Monistat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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yes sleep sans underwear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] J'aime paris!!! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Any moms get pregnant with second db when 1st db was still young, like between 5-10 months old? What was it like having the two little ones? Please share, if you thought it was a good idea or not for your family, and how it affected first db. thnks 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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not my 2nd, but I am now pg w/ #4 and my #3 is only 7mo. They will be 14mo apart. I am hoping they will be great pals, but in the meantime I'm feeling a little anxiety over the work ahead of me these next 3 or 4 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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^^and fwiw, my older brother and I are 16mo apart. It was it was, I don't think the spacing between us was any better or worse than it was between me and my younger brother (3.5 yrs). Your kids will never know anything different. What is really weighing on my mind the most these days w/ #4 is that I am not looking forward to be pregnant again so soon, and I fear how people will view me. But whatever, people don't really care anyway, they won't be raising my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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what's wrong with having them so close? who judges that? i just think it sounds so hard, but if you're good with it God Bless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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My sister and I are 13months apart and Mom says it was great (but I suppose she would have to!). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:45 PM Flag
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my sister kids are 17 month apart she says she barly remembers the first year of her 2nds life. Be sure the have help if you can. my sis's kids are 16 and 15 she is glad that she got it over with quickly not she is facing all the teen troubles [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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op: thanks- we are debating it and don't know if we are crazy or not, i want to kind of get it all done, like have both close together and then go back to work when they are a bit older, i just can't tell if i am insane for thinking about it, dd is 8mo old right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:22 PM Flag
[ - ] My 1 yr old DS is not yet walking, but he pulls himself up and kind of cruises - I haven't put him in shoes yet - should I? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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no need to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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op - thanks - a number of people are telling me that putting shoes on him will give him more support so he learns to walk faster/properly, blah blah - I feel that its better for his toes to be able to grip the floor.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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It's the oposite - better to be out of shoes to let the muscles develop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Damn billy joel was amazing last night! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.17.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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Isn't he like 120 years old now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] When oh when will 3.5yo DS be able to play with 9mo DD? It's a constant battle to keep them apart from each other. She wants to climb all over what he's doing, he tries to push/shove/carry/pull her away. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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he's old enough to know not to do that and try to understand that she doesn't know better. What does he do when you explain things to him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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My one year old and 3 year old just started playing near each other, but not with each other yet. But they don't bother each other...much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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so glad I didn't go through this with my dds who are 4yr apart. I hope my youngest will be like this with her baby brother (I'm pg). They will be 4yr apart too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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I wonder if I have this to look forward to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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One thing I found helped was to correct the younger too. Not so much for her benefit but so that he can hear you "getting his back." So it is not always, "Johnny, be nice to the baby." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:28 PM Flag
[ - ] 26 wks pg, ankles swollen - anything i can do? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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Sit down and put your feet up. Drink a ton of water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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it may get better when the weather get cooler soak them in cold water [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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not really, honestly. except put your feet up and stay cool. some people have no problem with that, i had it bad and it sucked but it goes away the day you give birth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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not if you have pitocin! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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Mine gets better when I go for a walk. Way worse when I eat salty food. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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I'm 32 weeks and now have swollen ankles and hands - it is even worse in this heat. I think you just have to deal with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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Ditto, Club foot here...first it was just one foot really bad..really bad, now the other is catching up. My OB says elevate avove the heart and a cold compress (ice) try that circus act at 36 weeks! I've been wwearing flip flops to work for the last two months, no shoe will fit on this foot and I was a Size 6B! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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Ditto for above recommendations. Watch out though, your whole foot may eventually become swollen and you'll end up with plantar fasciitis, so make sure you have good arch support in your shoes/sandals. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 09:01 PM Flag
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