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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] ten kegels! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay, we discussed district 2, how about 3: does a 97 get into Nest, 166 or 9? or is it only 163? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.04.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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NO chance at Nest. NO chance at 9 as a non sib. Some chance at 166 but I'd think there are so many 98s and some 99s that it's not guaranteed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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163, it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Ugh - after 18 y of marriage I have made many concessions. I never ask dh to attend a parent/teacher conf, school picnic, etc. Dc performing in a program or a graduation is about the extent of things I tell dh he needs to attend. He acts like he's the only father who even puts forth this effort. Tonight was oldest dc's 8th grade graduation - big event in the high school auditorium and dance to follow. Dh arrived at 5:10 for the 5:00 graduation, brought reading material in, got up and left the min it was over - leaving me with other dc to find oldest, congrat, and be a part of the gathering outside. When I get home, dh says, "how was I tonight." and I told him I was confused that he just left at the end. He said "it was over. I can't believe that you are complaining when I was there. you've forgotten what it's like to have to work." he went home after the grad - not back to work. Now he is furious that I complained 42 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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that's tough. my dad was like that, I needed therapy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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was your mom great? I really hope that my parenting will make it ok for dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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You married him. Congrats [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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that's helpful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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WOW. I could NOT deal with that. What is wrong with him? Doesnt he WANT to be there for his kids? Just showing up is not enough - its about the hugs and pride afterwards [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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I know - and he actually expected me to be thrilled that he "fought traffic and left early" to be there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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I hate to say this, but have you considered leaving? What are you getting out of this relationship? Sounds very sad to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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of course I have, but we've moved 5 times in the last 12 years and that alone has been so hard on dc. to think of adding a divorce to that seems cruel [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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going through the divorce is hard. Afterwards is great. YOu will meet someone new and be happy. Maybe your jerk husband will meet someone new and he will be out of your hair - then there wont be a fight after every event [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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I do think I would be happy, but another huge transition for dc seems wrong [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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That's lousy. Why does he have no interest in his kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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Just thinking. Perhaps if you had made him attend p/t conferences and school picnics, etc, he would have more skin in the game [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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STOP. This is NOT her fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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It sort of is. If she didn't emphasize how important all that stuff was early on, why should DH find it important? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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You are totally wrong - I did all that in the beginning - we've been parents for 14 y [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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Why is it the wifes job to emphasize this stuff? A Dad should be naturally excited about coming to his kids events. It should not even be a question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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absolutely totally agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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Most dads would be excited, but for the few who are not, they need to be told [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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Why should she have to emphasize it? He cant figure it out that this stuff is important? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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and he should WANT to be there - not have to be told or explained to why he needs to be there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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If he wanted to do that stuff - he would --- if he is not interested to this degree, then she cannot change that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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I tried in the beginning -that's why I said I have made concessions. It wasn't worth his attitude there. I found it easier to make things special for dc without him than with him - I have excluded him for their sake oddly enought [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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I understand. Have no guilt about that. This problem stems from him, not you or anything you did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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thanks for your words. I think over and over about choices I could have made differently. But I cherish dc and would never undo it all in hindsight [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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He sounds like a total jerk. I'm a WOHM mom and I would never behave like that. So selfish. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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what does he do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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he's in top management of a food company. he works 7:30-6:00 everyday - no weekends, no long hours. And he runs 8 miles during his lunch hour (he takes more) everyday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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thats not terrible. its not like he is an er doc on call [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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I know - he has a great schedule considering that he is paid very well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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Do your kids feel bad about his behavior? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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it's really all they know. they are all boys and I try very hard to show them how to be a good dh and father w/o putting dh down. very hard to do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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I make a lot of concessions to my DH, too. We've been married 10 years and it's ridiculous. The more you give, the more they expect. But at least my DH's probs are directed at me. He's a (mostly) great dad. Sorry and good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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thanks - I'm doing the best I can and often question what is best- who knows if the decisions I've made are best for dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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Have you asked him why he thinks that he shouldnt come to these things? There are SO many Dads involved in schools now - they ALL work - at my dc's school, the 2 class parents are dads, there are more dads at events than moms sometimes - every dad works [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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I have, but those conversations don't really go anywhere. I'm beyond thinking he'll change. But to be mad at me - when my expectations are so minimal is absurd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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what a sh!thead. How does your son feel about him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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apathetic, maybe. it is what he knows [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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Sorry but maybe you have enabled him. Have you talked to him? Has your daughter? She is in 8th grade, maybe if it came from her- dad i was looking for you,where did you go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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I have enabled it only because when he is present he tends to spoil the events. And when this happens over and over, then taking him out of the equation has been my solution - not sure that it is the right solution. Ds doesn't get upset about the lack of dh involvment - I do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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If you're aware that you married a complete prick then you might be best off giving up on expecting him to change. I'm sure his other good qualities make up for this shortcoming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:30 AM Flag
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I think a lot of us can't imagine our spouses (male or female) behaving this way. Many of us have to work outside of the home, in the home, or do a ton of work as full time caretakers for our families. Using having to work as an excuse for poor parenting and lousy social skills isn't acceptable, not for anyone. I could just as well say to my husband, "Sorry, I'm too busy doing laundry to come to your company picnic." Or his mother's birthday, or a movie he's interested in, or any number of events. But I don't, and he doesn't beg off or leave early from events that are important to me. I can relate to him being uncomfortable at school functions; they can be rather boring, irritating, and numbing. That being said: The bastard needs to tough it out. Life is full of mandatory activities that absolutely bore the hell out of us, but we do them anyway because they're meaningful to others. If he can't get it together to feign in interest in kiddy events (and those aren't that hard to make it through, really... dude could be making you giggle and flirting with you during them if he had some sense) then he's on the road to being that crotchety old prick in the nursing home who receives no visits from his children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 12:52 AM Flag
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Sounds like your kids are the one who are suffering. Don't think that they will forget your dh's behavior. He is really damaging them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:41 AM Flag
[ - ] do you ever wish you could be the baby 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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HAHAHAHAHAHA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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When I see a baby or toddler screaming his/her head off on the street - I sometimes think, "baby, I feel the same way - I wish I could scream and cry along with you!!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
[ - ] pls define sanctimommy 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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someone who is sanctimonious about a "mommy" issue [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] please define 'santimommy' for me 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Expressed shock at all of the following: you let your kid drink juice; you let your kid watch TV; you let your kid walk freely on the sidewalk; you let your kid have a personality [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Someone who preaches that their values and ideas about raising children are 100% right and anyone who disagrees should not be allowed to have children [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:42 PM Flag
[ - ] lower abdominal pressure. gas or constipation? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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We don't know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Please tell me why a private consultant will help my DS get into private school. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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i'm a consultant actually, so I can tell you that it is helpful. but i don't work with nyc which seems more chance than anything else [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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Your kid is a loser who needs to be "packaged" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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ewwww [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Tsk tsk.. No need to be so mean... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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It's true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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They will write/edit your essays, advise you on interview questions, what to say, what not to say... help you learn about each school and what each school will offer, tell you what to wear... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Getting into school depends on what I wear to an interview? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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consultant here: Yes, a prep school admissions officer just told me a story today about a parent and child who interviewed in jeans and sweatshirts and they thought it was inappropriate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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that's pretty obvious in my opinion. We're not idiots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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put to a lot of people, it isnt obvious. especially those from other cultures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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they go through it with so many families, that they can predict whether your child will get in or not, and help you focus on the ones that are possibilities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] At the end of my 4th day on South Beach and I've already lost 4 lbs as of this morning! Can't believe this works so well! And I'm not hungry and have actually found some yummy recipes (foodie, here, so that says a lot). 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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water weight loss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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How can that be if I'm eating and drinking enough? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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b/c you are limiting simple carbs (which make you retain water -- carboHYDRATE) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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So out of 135 lbs, I have more than 4 lbs of extra water? That seems odd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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have you noticed that you're urinating more frequently? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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No.... I actually didn't believe in SB but DH lost 30 lbs a year ago and has kept it off. He looks great and I'm schlumpy so I am trying it. Was surprised to lose weight so quickly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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in four days, I'll give you 1 pound of true weight loss, 3 pounds of water-weight loss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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Interesting - thanks. Should I just give up, then ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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nope ;-) but just watch it when you add back in the carbs... easy does it! (BTDT) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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Thanks - I will try to behave. I have an "addiction" to carbs and sugar so I know I should limit them. Soooo hard when friends are eating yummy things at lunch. Although the spinach,chicken & cheese thing I made for dinner IS amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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there are some really excellent, good-tasting recipes, I agree. I lost 9 pounds in two weeks of phase 1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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Wow-did you move on to Phase 2 or were you done? Did you keep the weight off? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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yes, moved to phase 2, and kept the weight off for about a year, then.... ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Am I nuts to be holding out hope that dd will get into Lower Lab with a 94? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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You know that Lower Lab shares with PS 198? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Livin the vida loca [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I predict HM will lose TT status in a decade. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.04.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Nah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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1. Location (I think families in Manhattan liked the Hill schools when the city was more crime ridden but now that it's safe from street crime, they like to send dc's to Manhattan school... esp'ly after 911 also.) 2. Too many scandals (teachers writing books, financial trouble, Swiffergate, NY Mag article....) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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sooner. SO many debacles [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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You might take a look at the essays written by Horace Mann students in The Concord Review: http://www.tcr.org/tcr/essays.htm#emersonessays [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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good? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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It's a review that focuses on history papers from high school students. I think they're very high quality. I see papers from Hunter High School also, but most are from private schools and suburban public schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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sorry i went to public these look complicated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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they look good to me too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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I'm sure current HS kids are good, but in a decade, that might change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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Among the NYC kids who wrote those essays, I count 3 Hunter HS kids, 2 Horace Mann kids (one girl wrote two which is pretty cool!), 1 Dalton, 1 Riverdale, 1 Dwight and 1 Bronx Science. So where are all the other TT schools? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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So Hunter is TT? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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Hunter High School has a very good history department, from what I have heard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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Great social studies, English, theater, math and science is what I've heard. And very good art and music. Not sure about language and PE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 09:15 PM Flag
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Dwight is in there also. Many private schools in NYC are very small (maybe 40 kids per grade?). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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That's my point. Dwight is called a 4th tier school on UB - and is only a little larger than the other "small" private schools - and is still represented. In fact, if you look at any national competition like this - like the Scholastic Arts & Writing - more 2nd-to-no tier schools are represented than TT schools. I'm not sure why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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Whoo hooo.....Dwight is now TT!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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haha. but Dwight encourages writing and public speaking competitions in school and out. In school they have the Camerer Essay and the Doris Post comps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.15.09, 03:13 PM Flag
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Since when did this essay competition become the bar for TT? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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I think Horace Mann will remain popular for MS & HS for top students, but they probably do suffer in the K app process. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.15.09, 03:36 PM Flag
[ - ] With my second db, I find that I don't always use a fresh nipple with the playtex drop ins, sometimes I just rinse one off. is this terrible? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.04.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Second kids get shafted. JK! lol You know it's fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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I used to take db #1 around the house to different play stations and do all this stuff with her. Db #2 just sits in a pod chair all day and watches the chaos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] I walked by Billy Crystal today. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] poll: the best thing about becoming is mother is ___________ 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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other than ds, which is sort of obvious, I guess it's having a topic of conversation and something in common with a whole new, large group of people [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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having an excuse to be fat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:18 PM Flag
[ - ] how do you reply to a comment? each time i do it ends up a new post. I really do prefer the old ub 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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for some reason it sometimes jumps to the new post box instead of the reply box. You need to scroll back up to the box under the post you are replying to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] huh? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:31 PM Flag
[ - ] any other than craigslist? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Barnard Babysitting Service, the Parents League [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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