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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] How are the outdoor drop-in classes for Super Soccer Stars over the summer? Are they less structured? More crowded? Wondering if my 2.5 yo would really focus if he's outdoors. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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would also love to know this. dd took indoor class. you're right. there would be many distractions in central park. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:16 PM Flag
[ - ] poll: how much money do you spend on your nieces and nephews on birthdays. thanks. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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nothing. except big birthdays like a bat/bar mitzvah, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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$40-$50 for most but $100 for my niece who is very ill... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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$25, give or take, depending on age. As they get older I find I spend closer to $40, because I usually get them clothes rather than toys [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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For now, just have a NB neice (who is the tiniest, cutest thing!). Spent a fortune on a cashmere baby blanket (b/c I knew SIL would love it), but don't plan to spend a ton on gifts. I will pass along DD's hand-me-downs, which include some great stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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my family imposed a $20 limit a long time ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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100 each, but we only have 2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
[ - ] I need some help. A little while ago I was doing laundry and when I was washing DH's underwear (white briefs), I found what looked like lipstick stains on it. What do I do? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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stop wiping your mouth on his panties [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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OMG! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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yikes -- i would put them on his nightstand and see what he says. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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OP: I am so upset. What do I do when he sees them and he responds. Why is he doing this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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First, you need the facts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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Thank you. Do you have any guesses on what else it could be, besides teh obvious? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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not to sound gross, but could it be some blood from a straining bowel movement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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OP: I would have thought that but the location would be weird for that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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friend at work was applying lipstick, and she put on too much, and he had those in his briefcase cause he was working out later and wanted to change into clean ones, and he thought it was a handkerchief and he gave them to her and she wiped her lipstick on them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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np: lolololol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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OP: That actually sounds plausible. He does work out a lot after work or during lunch and most times takes extra underwear with him to change into. Thank you. I am now hoping it is that or something like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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a dh here: A million things. Crayon/marker. Whatever. Just ask. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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OP: Ok.....has anything like that ever happened to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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Could you have put a red crayon through the wash? (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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I have no idea. I do most of the laundry (now I'm sure this will be labeled fake..) and have never noticed this kind of stain but I honestly don't pay that much attention. (Hell, I would go so far as to say I actively avoid paying attention to stains in my underwear.) If it has a stain I shoot it with the Spray and Wash and move on. My point was just ask him. (ps. Makes me glad most of my underwear is black.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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Do you crayon your shorts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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come on!!! crayon and marker look a lot different from lipstick. and blood turns brown. this is a fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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dh again: Do you mean to say that if you had three pairs of white men's underwear- one with a smudge from a crayon, one with a smudge from a marker and one with a smudge from lipstick -- you have no doubt you could tell which was which? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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get yourself a boyfriend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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fake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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good idea. get a fake boyfriend and torture your cheating snake of a husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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fold his dirty laundry and put it back in his drawer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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Never assume anything!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:52 PM Flag
[ - ] My SIL and I both have DDs who are the same exact age. The difference? Her DD is gorgeous, sweet, and quiet and my DD is cute, very aggressive, and determined. I love my DD to death but part of me wishes she was more like her cousin. I know it's shallow and horrible, but I needed to put it out there... 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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her determination will serve her well as she gets older (better than quiet). the aggression can be shifted into sweetnes through your determined parenting and cute sounds wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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yes, i guess her determination will serve her well -- or scare people off. she's one tough cookie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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resiliance is really really important in life (and determination plays a part in that) - embrace it - maybe if you start to look at it as one of her best qualities instead of her worst it will help you to appreciate her nature a bit more than her cousin's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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age of dc? rest assured that her dc has tantrums just like yours does. and fwiw, i have one child that sounds a little similar to yours...not really aggressive but very strong willed and determined. I find that she takes a lot of "handling" but i feel like in the long run she'll accomplish so much. She's a "do-er" and i can't wait to see her in action once she's an adult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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OP here: my DD is only 2yo -- and you're right -- i think she'll do well in life since she's so strong.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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2yo is a hard stage anyway. although interestingly enough my strong willed dd had an easier 2yo stage than my more easygoing dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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np: I was jsut having this conversation with a relative yesterday who commented (accurately) that my 18 mo is incredibly determined (like, unbelieveably so) which will hopefully benefit her down the road... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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This has to do with insecurities you have about yourself. You're projecting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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OP here -- definitely. i am very insecure and i think that has something to do with it. i also see how much easier very good-looking people have in life. and i am sick and tired of everyone telling me how handsome my DS is but never saying anything about DD other than, "boy, she's something else..." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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Don't put your insecurities on her. Never compare her to her cousin in front of her. she'll hate you for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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I know, I know. Thanks for the reality check. And I never do compare her to her cousin out loud -- just in my head. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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and people that are "very good-looking" when they are 2 sometimes do not turn out to be beautiful adults. They are only 2! Stop judging! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Cheating DH from yesterday, any more questions? 175 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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if your DW had a man on the side what would your reaction be ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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I would probably be really upset and want to know why and think that I failed her as a husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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you're kidding right... How you failed her as a husband ? Maybe she even knows about your extra activities... maybe she's out "comforting" herself right now ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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np: But you are a failure as a husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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she'd never cheat, not her thing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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she wouldn't cheat for sex, maybe. She sounds more the type who cheats for love. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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I don't see her cheating for love. And how do you cheat for love anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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you fall in love with someone else. And leave your husband with the mistress he's not all that crazy about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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^this happened in my life. When my dh got caught cheating, we tried to make it work anyway, but I let go of him emotionally and met a wonderful guy. I've been married to my wonderful guy for 8 years now. And you know what? I knew my ex was cheating on me for a long while before I had the proof. I could just tell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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How could you tell? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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You are thinking right. You have failed her as a husband. And you won't realize this until you are divorced...which you likely will be in the next few years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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tell her you are cheating, then ask her if you've failed her as a husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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If I told her, it would really hurt her and I would never hurt her. I care too much about her to hurt her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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you ARE hurting her, you dipshit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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why would we want to ask you anything? we can ask our own dh's if we are that curious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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Why do you hang out on UB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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boredom at work, interesting conversations [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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Then why do you catagorize yourself as "cheating dh"- why can't you just start a conversation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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Well wanted to pick up from yesterday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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my question is- why do you want to talk about your weaknesses/failures? Why not talk about something else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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I have talked about my other things too. I figured people would want my point of view on this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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Or- you get pleasure from it for some wierd reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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we can see that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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How old are you and what do you do for a living? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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do you buy your mistress lots of pretty, expensive things? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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like what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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Lots of clothes, some nice earrings, and got her new sheets the other week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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more details.. what kind of earrings, clothes, sheets? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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high thread count.....she likes J Crew and Banana Republic clothes and some nice diamond earrings and a pair of ruby earrings that she fell in love with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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are you sure you're not gay or a woman posting as a dh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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I am a straight man [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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well, at least she likes average-priced stuff that you can get with a coupon... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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I know - seriously - WHOO WHOO big spender! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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You are an ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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My husband doesn't believe you're a. real or b. a man. "No self-respecting adulterer would waste a minute on this website." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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What makes you so insecure that you A. cheat and B. come here wanting attention about it? Tiny pecker? Stupid? Mom didn't love you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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I am pretty secure. I am only cheating since DW will only have sex once a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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That doesn't strike me as an honest response. That's too bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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It is an honest response [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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Blaming your wife for your cheating isn't honest! But no use talking sense to someone who doesn't have integrity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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If we had sex more then I wouldn't cheat. See I really do love my wife, but I have sexual needs that she is refusing to address. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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Are you straight about it or do you hide the cheating? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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DW doesn't know....three of my friends know and so does a guy I work with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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we women know a lot... maybe she's fine with you cheating because she's over dealing with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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In that case, wouldn't she get a divorce? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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we can be duplicitous too... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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and great for the kids... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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So why don't you tell her? That might fix the problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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She knows I want more sex. We've talked about it a lot. And sometimes she gives me a little bit more but not enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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I just don't understand the need to hide it or lie about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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If DW knew about this it would really hurt her, and I am not trying to hurt her. I lvoe my DW and would never hurt her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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Well that's where you're just being lazy- rather than work it out between you & your wife, you settle for lying. Without honesty, your relationship doesn't have much to stand on. You are hurting her- by cheating, by having your friends know, by imprinting your kids with a pattern of a selfish marriage. You don't hurt those you love and cheating is hurting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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I am not lazy, this involves work. And I really am trying not to hurt her. I mean what is wrong with engaging in an activity with a co-worker? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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Only that you took a vow not to do it and if she found out your marriage and family would be over. It's wrong because it hurts people. If it isn't wrong- then why not be open about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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I am making sure she doesn't find out. Because it would hurt her and then a divorce would be bad on me and I would never put my kids through that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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So at least you acknowledge that you are creating the potential for a painful situation. The only part you aren't getting is that without honesty, you really don't have a great relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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I don't want to hurt anyone and my kids would be really hurt by this and I don't wnat them to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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You're right. So you at least can see that what you are doing causes hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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only if they find out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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No, actually lying does have an effect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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you are human garbage. if you really loved your wife and it was only for sex then you would not let a single person know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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If you weren't such an ass you would just jack off in the shower a few times a week to make up for it like most men do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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I have done that, but prefer sex to jacking off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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I think I am prety exciting in bed. I am into differnt things and roleplays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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you think so, but what you think isn't what she thinks... she may not want to dress up like a French maid. maybe she'd rather get funky with a French man ? Who knows... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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maybe you could work on her pleasure- if you spent the time you used cheating getting to know her needs, perhaps your needs would get met more often. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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I know her needs and relaly focus on her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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You really focus on her by lying to her? That doesn't add up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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I know her needs and wants and I focus on her in bed and I am there for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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she doesn't want you all that much, though. And you are new to your 'mistress.' A few years down the line and you'll be lucky to get it once a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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My mistress knows that it won't last between us and she's fine with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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On that point you have to be delusional... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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lame-O [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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actually your mom told me she really couldn't love you. Sort of an ugly and charmless little shitbird you were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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holy cow! you are a grade a prick - divorce her if you must (although I don't think "sex only one time a week" are grounds - but a cheater is the lowest of the low - you are pathetic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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I am not pathetic. I am a good husband and father. I take a lot of time for my kids and I spend time with my wife. And my mistress knows that she comes after my wife. I've even told her that if my wife were to call in the middle of sex, I am stopping to answer, and I have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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again with the word "mistress'... do you also use the word "panties" ?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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Having to be dishonest with your wife and kids isn't "good." You're not an honest man & you are too lazy to work out the problems. Face it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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I am not honest about one thing. But I am there for them. I coach little league and go to PTA meetings nad really focus on my kids. I know my wife's interests, donate to her charities and always attend dinner parties with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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You're not honest about your sexuality- and that is a cornerstone of a healthy marriage. Being a man who stands by your word and being a good, honest man is way more important than going to a PTA meeting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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I really do care about my DW. I mean I love cuddling with her in bed on a weekend morning and she is a great mother and great wife. I would do anything for her. I do not love my mistress, I am only using her for sex. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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I'm not doubting that you love your wife, but you don't have an honest marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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if your wife knew what you were doing, she wouldn't want to be with you anymore. So fess up to her and see how good of a husband you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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but you live a lie - she would not choose to cuddle with you or want you in her bed or coaching her kids (or anyone else's) if she knew what a pathetic pig you really are - and your infidelity is grounds for divorce - you're quite the upstanding man! not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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He's essentially saying that if he doesn't get caught, its ok. He doesn't understand that his behavior extends beyond the actual cheating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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I am a loving caring husband and father and I don't want to hurt anyone. This is an arrangement that helps everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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Again, if it helps everyone, that you can be upfront about it. You're just lazy and selfish, which to me isn't loving or caring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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the ONLY person it HELPS (and that's definitely only a word that someone as morally bankrupt as you would use - is YOU - stop trying to convince us that you are doing the other people involved in this scenario some kind of favor! you're are the lowest of the low [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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I am not the lowest of the low. I care deeply about my family and am a loving man. I mean, I love my wife just as much as the day I met her. She is the love of my life. I really don't love or really even care for my mistress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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You don't get it! I'm not saying you are a murderer, but you aren't honest. I don't think you can really love someone and screw them over at the same time- you can rationalize it all you want, but you don't love your wife enough to work out your sexual relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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I have tried to work out our sexual relationship but she isn't doing the work to. If my wife were to want more sex than I'd dump my mistress in a heartbeat and my mistress knows that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Well, you haven't tried enough- if she isn't into it, then you can tell her that you are having an open marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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your wife - should she ever discover your infidelity - would not believe a single word of this - you really don't know what it means to love your wife or you wouldn't be having an affair and blaming it on her (the woman that you call the love of your life) - so, yes, you are the lowest of the low [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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I really do love her. I mean why else would I stop sex with my mistress to answer her phone call? I love her a lto and will always love her. She's the love of my life. She just is causing me to do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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omg - you really think answering your wife's call in the middle of sex with your mistress is a sign of your love for her? you are a truly sick human being and i feel sorry for your wife and even sorrier for your children [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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I am not a sick human being. I do love my wife and children. Why else would I take that call? When the phone rang, we were doing it missionary and I grabbed the phone and saw the caller id and stopped, rolled off of her and talked to my wife for a few minutes and then we started sex again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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Totally!! He/she just gave it away! Gross. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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ew. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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oy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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well, the bottom line is that he doesn't know how to love. He doesn't get it. That's just sad. It's sad for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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obviously - it boggles my mind though, how someone could be so self-involved that he doesn't recognize that just by being unfaithful negates all the other "good" stuff he THINKS he's doing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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It would be better if he just said, "yes, I want to screw around and I do." He may or may not get caught, but he's lousy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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so you found a sex object even more pathetic than you are - i'm sorry, but being a good husband and father (which includes being a good role model, by the way) and being a cheater don't mix - you are a pathetic man who should be in therapy to figure out your major emotional deficits, not taking calls from your wife while your in bed with someone else [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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She doesn't mind, because she's honest, all she really wants at this point in her life is a sex partner, not a relationship. And she's free to have sex with other men as well. We have a good relationship going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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1-800-VALTREX [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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you didn't respond to the fact that you are not a good husband and father and that you have major emotional issues - big surprise [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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I have no emotional issues and i ama good husband and father. I would never hurt my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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If my dh cheated on me, I would not consider him a good husband or father. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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you are a selfish prick - you have already hurt your children more than a shallow, selfish man like yourself could ever know - but, they'll know someday...and you'll pay the price for your lack of moral fiber [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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I really am there for my kids. If I didn;t care I wouldn't coach and focus on them. I love my kids and I love my wife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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np: When my friend discovered years later that her father had been unfaithful to her mother, she broke off contact with him. He's never seen his grandchildren. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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Loving doesn't involve lying on this level. You're unwilling to work for a truly deep relationship. You aren't an honest person, so I can't see how you are a good dad or husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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whatever love you THINK you have for your family is overshadowed by your self love - really - you can keep telling yourself and anyone who listens that you are a good man who loves his family, but your horrible actions negate your words - i can't believe that you don't understand that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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he clearly doesn't understand- if he did, he would be honest with himself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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Hey good luck to you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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Y r a jerk buddy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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ego [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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you said it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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fakety fake fake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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Yes! Can I have your DW's phone number? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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Hmmmm...I can't help feeling that the words 'Mistress' and 'Banana Republic' just don't go together... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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it's her choice where i am buying the clothes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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She sounds like a brand new in the workforce Sorority sister (I was on last night and kow how old she is) having fun with someone else's husband, and will hopefully look back one day and realize what a skank she is being. And may it happen to her too one day! You are delusional by the way... I told my husband about you and you better pray you don't meet him in a dark alley! He thinks your behavior is despicable... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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OP: Yes she was in a sorority at the University at Buffalo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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OP: What did your DH say about me? What did he say he'd do to me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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Well, not to brag, but he is a black belt in judo - so he would JUDO CHOP YOU!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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What did he say about my behavior? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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it's all about you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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What did he say about my wife not having sex with me more than once a week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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blame it on your wife- way to go loving cheater guy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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Unlike yourself, he is in fact a wonderful husband and great dad to our 18mo daughter and respects me to the utmost for having given birth to her. He is not from this country, and comes from very strong morals and values the concept of marriage. We communicate everyday about everything... not surface crap, like "how is your charity going dear"!?! He has no respect for men like you - he sees you as very, VERY weak. His words exactly. And by the way, he really is the coolest guy and everyone loves and adores him so it is a good thing you are nowhere near our circle to be compared to him! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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^^ OMG - and we have sex about that often b/c we are tired and work very hard and have an 18mo - but we have a very strong sexual connection and are very suggestive with each other with a lot of touching, kissing but not necessarily sex...! How old are you by the way? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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I am 37 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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I also respect me wife a lot and think she's a great mother. And I have a deep conversation wtih her alot. And I respect her charity as well. Why does he think i am weak? What country is he from? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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oy. you are really really delusional... but you won't see that until your wife finds out and you lose her respect and your kids respect and everything else you believe to be true... How is cheating on her respect exactly? So, you didn't answer, how old are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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np: you ARE weak - that you can't see this is horrifying - and my husband would like to join in the lynching of this pathetic excuse for a human being [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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You told your husband too? What did he say about me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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the same thing that your three friends are saying behind your back [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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My friends have shown nothing but support for me. And they've seen my mistress and think she's good looking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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to your face - but in truth they are horrified and think you're a total dirty dog who will come to a very very very bad end [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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My husband is from Morocco, and he believes in discipline, mainly b/c of his training, but also because of his culture. I think you seem like a spoiled selfish person with no discipline, and he does too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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Also, I love that you only really seem to care what my husband thinks, but all of these women are telling you what a pathetic creature you are and you are denying it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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I care what everyone thinks, but also realize that all of you are wrong about me. You don't get me and my marriage. I am doing nothing abnormal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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Do you pay in cash or with the credit card? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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Cash and sometimes with a credit card that I only have access to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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So she doesn't have an understanding of how the money works in your house? Your marriage isn't in good shape, but you know that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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actually I only use teh card so I can figure out work expenses, etc. and I get the bill on that. I only use it for dinners, so if my wife saw it wouldn't odd to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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You buy sheets for work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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I paid cash for them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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They do on Staten Island [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Family therapist here and you are not a loving partner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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^^You are quite the cliche, actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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Seriously, and the fact that he is trying to justify this behavior is just beyond!?!? And of course we are feeding into his indulgence... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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np: Yes, the way he keeps coming here and arguing his insane position makes me think he's a sociopath. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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This is how child molesters work too- they always talk around the fact that they are harming someone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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Exactly. Plus no matter what they do, it does not satiate their need for more attention. Hence, he keeps coming here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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Once a week sex from his wife isn't enough. All the attention and sex from the mistress isn't enough. We aren't enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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np: It's so pathetic he doesn't see it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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It is really sad. His wife may know, but it really, really isn't fair for the kids. Maybe they will learn by negative example [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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I am a loving partner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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lolol!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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no you are not - how you can continue to say that is mind-numbingly shocking [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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I'm sure you feel love for your family. The problem is that you have really grasped the consequences and implications of what you're doing to them, EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT. These things have a way of coming out -- often because the girlfriend decides to call the wife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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or because the girlfriend gets knocked up and decides to keep it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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Have you thought about how that moment will play out? And where it will leave the Love of your Life and the Kids You Would Never Hurt? And where it will leave YOU? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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^^haven't [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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these posts are interesting. so many angry women out there, i'd be too i guess if it were my dh. i recognize dh's sexual needs are greater than mine, we have sex about once a week when there is time and i'm not too tired(7 mo ds & 3yo dd, sahm w/no help at all). i know i have to ramp it up for both of us, but these children just don't seem to sleep so i feel badly sometimes for dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 07:35 PM Flag
[ - ] My 4 yo DD is a bit of a brat. At times, she is wonderfully empathetic and sensitive. Other times, especially w/ certain friends, she can be quite mean. If she is out with a friend, she may refuse to sit next to her at lunch or hold her hand, even though the friend wants her to do that. The friend usually dissolves into tears b/c my DD refuses, and that seems to have no effect on my DD. I have spoken to her about being nice and mindful of people's feelings, but she is 4 years old and I don't know how much is sinking in. Is there something I should be doing? Thanks! 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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not sure but it sounds like she'll be a great lawyer someday... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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dah dum dum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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it wasn't meant to be a joke. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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op: Oh, I hope not. I'm a lawyer and really don't want DD to become one. I think I'm a friendly lawyer, though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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my dd is the same way some times. but it usually happens with kids she has zero chemistry with. I am trying to limit her exposure to those kids not to hurt their feelings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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op: Thanks. This usually happens with her two "best friends," so it's extra frustrating b/c they ask to be together all the time and then they fight all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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I am going through the same exact thing w/ my dd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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I talk to my 2 1/2 yr old about compassion. If she snaps at someone I tell her to use her sweet voice, to be nice. I think that you can only just keep repeating this kind of talk, demonstrating kindness... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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I try to just push the golden rule on a regular basis (in kid terms of course). I figure it will sink in eventually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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I think 4yo can be notorious for this sort of thing. Ds is now 5 and he is starting to get it, but at four--it was meaningless to him. Now, he initiates a lot of talk about what's nice, what might hurt someone's feelings, etc. If, I can just get the bragging under control . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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is she in school? does she have older siblings? it's very hard once they are with other kids...they pick up bad behaviors and build on it. i tell dcs that they must speak to and treat everyone with respect. i find that saying it like that has more of an impact than "be nice". e.g. she doesn't have to hold hands but she has to decline politely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Whenever I listen to my recorded voice, I hear a slight lisp. Not a lisp really, but a sloppy S sound. I've asked DH, my sister and a close friend and they swear I don't have a lisp, but I hear it. Can I get speech therapy for something like that, or is it too late to do anything about it? I'm 40 and bothered by it. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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try therapy for your brain. signed, a mom with a ds who gets speech therapy 5x a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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ITA. Try dealing with real problems and not fake ones, OP. I have a few you could work on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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give the poster a break -- she didn't post to hear your woes. she wanted to know if she could get speech therapy for her lisp. maybe she does a lot of public speaking and it bothers her... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:29 PM Flag
[ - ] 6wk old has been up for 3 hrs, so fussy. i'm going to have a breakdown 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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go into the bathroom, run the shower, and scream or cry -- it really helps... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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have you tried a sling? if all else fails, put db in crib or other safe place and take a break- take a shower, lie down with your ears plugged, whatever. 5 minutes of screaming never hurt any kid, and you need a sanity break [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Remove yourself from the room for a bit... just change your view for a bit and come to it knowing that it is just a fussy baby, everyone has them at some point, and it will change... DB will sleep soon... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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just went thru this w. my 3rd who's 8wks now---trust me, 6-8 wks is when most babies are the fussiest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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i always took my kids outside when they were really fussy. just a walk around the block. i don't know why, but it seemed to calm them down. even when they were infants. good luck. sometimes music helps too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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good time to call a friend, family member, helper [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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vibrating chair does wonders [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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**** see, we've all been there... you'll be fine... and crying for a bit never hurt any baby... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Anderson Moms: They're finalizing the process, but it looks like there will be a couple of things with the kids on 6/23 (registration/picnic) and adults only on 6/25. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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So, 2 separate events on both days? Do you know timing for Monday? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Where are you getting this information? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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I'd like to know too. are they emailing or calling people. we were just told that donna is out and something is being set up for next week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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have to say that although i am not in this process yet, I am surprised that the top doe G&T school did not have a plan for registration after notification, and maybe a welcoming party [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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NP: They couldn't plan anything definitive until the DOE sent the letters out. Which only just happened over the weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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nnp: other schools apparently had things planned...also no dog in this fight. just odd. seems like they would be clued in and ready to go. seems kind of passive aggressive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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Donna said they had planned to do it this Thursday, but scrapped that when it became clear that families had until Friday to decide and because as of Monday morning, some people had not yet rec'd their letters. I don't have any reason to doubt what she told me, but just putting it out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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do you know if they are planning to notify families of the events, or do we have to contact them and give them our contact info. I called and was told things were in the works, but didn't leave an email address or anything. don't want to be a pita, and felt they were a bit frazzled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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Donna: you need to come back to UB and let everyone know what is going on over there. these new anderson moms are driving us nuts!!! Please notify everyone asap!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Maybe they will call everyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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The schools all have different processes and had to wait for the DOE to finally get those placements out. There is nothing the schools could have done in advance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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who the f*** is Donna [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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do a search. she is an anderson mom hired by anderson as some sort of administrator. she is either revered (if you got in) or hated (if you didn't, or you did, but ran into problems with her) here on UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 02:09 PM Flag
[ - ] hol many weeks does db need to be to use baby bjorn facing out? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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old enough to have good head and neck control [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Long shot but is the mom who's relocating to the Amherst/Northampton area on right now? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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Boy, I wish I was relocating to Northhampton. It has everything I'm looking for right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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OP: yup - it's a pretty cool area ... we love it here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:01 PM Flag
[ - ] If you went to an all girls private school in Manhattan, where did you go and what do you do for a career? Me - Spence/Full Time Slut - HAHAHA! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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Are you 12? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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Gee... loosen up a bit! Was actually serious about the first part... and did you see post about the Spence stereotype below? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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I had a sangria at lunch, so I am loose. But, guess I don't get the joke [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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You don't? You obviously didn't go to an all girls Manhattan school then... JUST KIDDING!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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I did go to a private all girls high school, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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You're not necessarily a slut if you went to Spence, but you probably skew slutty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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and I screw sluttily [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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op: interesting point... I may just do that too! Will ask my husband what he thinks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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Chapin -- education (admin) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
[ - ] is it too early to establish a bedtime w. 9wk old? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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I had a loose routine from birth with my ds. I found it helpful and ds now 2.5yo goes to bed really easily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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I think it's good to start working on a loose routine - don't expect it to be perfect for awhile though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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we had a loose routine/time by that age, but it was dictated by db. He was totally ready for bed by 6pm at that point, so that's when he went to bed. It very gradually moved later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Any advice on best way to start teaching my dd how to read? 59 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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let a real teacher do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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aren't the parents the primary teachers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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yes, and i think encouraging reading by reading together is the best thing for parents to do. when the kid expresses curiousity about words, explore that together. read alphabet books. read all sorts of books together. but the real business of learing to read is hard and it probably is better left to professionals. your kid doesn't want you to nag or prod, your kid just wants to enjoy being with you and reading with you. reading together is the very best thing you can do for your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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no reason you can't do both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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some would say there is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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well, BTDT and you can do both. Both of my children adore, adore reading (and being) and I taught them at home how to read instead of waiting for our slow school sytems to catch up with their desire. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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ita- i see it as my job not someone else's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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I would think that the teachers could do their work better if the parents are involved. You can't just send your toddler to school and say "potty train him!" and expect the job to be done [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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so is it your job or the teacher's job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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Both! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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that's not an appropriate analogy. learning to read is part of the education process, which is the teacher's job. You should support it, not replace or subvert it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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Yes, why would I try to replace or subvert what a teacher does? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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then you should be seeking guidance from the teacher, not from UB. that's the only legitimate source [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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then homeschool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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I don't want to or have the skills... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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I sort of see myself as a professional [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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You find a problem with me wanting to teach my kids to read? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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your school will have a particular curriculum and style of teaching reading. if you try to "teach," you may just end up confusing dd. just read to her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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this is bs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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maybe in your experience, but when dd was learning to read her school taught whole language. I learned to read by phonics, so whenever I tried to help her it was very counterproductive in the long run and ended up upsetting and frustrating her. I say leave it to the teachers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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any school that is teaching whole language (alone) is school that would spur me to homeschool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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total bs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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how old is she? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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five [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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She'll learn on her own through school. There's no reason to push it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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Read together and run your finger along the words as you read. Point out certain words but don't make it a chore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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She is going to k next year and we are attending a school where most of the kids read somewhat at the start of k. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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it is completely normal for kids to be able to read anywhere from 5 to 7. if reading is a problem at 7, then it should be addressed. otherwise it falls within the norm. it's developmental...has nothing to do with intelligence and if you push too hard, you'll risk turning dc off to reading and learning in general [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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I hear you but want to have her on par with her new classmates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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you'll be putting unnecessary pressure on her. this is more about you than it is her. if she's fueling this, that's different. but that's not how I'm reading it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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She wants to read too. try not to jump to judgment so quickly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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if she is ready to read, she will. trust me, my first grader struggled in k - but about halfway through first grade it just clicked - and when it does you will be amazed! Just encourage it and stay positive. Those early reader paperbacks form scholastic are great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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that's what I keep repeating. it's developmental. when they're brains are ready, they latch onto it like nobody's business. early readers are not better or smarter, they're just earlier. like early walkers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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get some letter flashcards (lower case) with a picture on them.....take 2-3 a night at reading time and say "ahhh" apple and "B" ball (whatever the picture is). When she really relaly knows them cold (this will take 6 -12 mos), teach her how to string sounds together with 3 letter words. Garden House School has a great set of flashcards for this and you can buy them on the website for the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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just saw that she is five.....do 5 or so per night, and kep repeatig until hse really knows her sounds...this s a great way to start phonics learning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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I did a mild variation of this. I started out by sounding out each letter. They will learn consonant sounds faster than vowels. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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If you aren't opposed to tv, my 5 yo has learned a ton from watching SuperWhy on PBS. I think you can buy the dvds from their website. Otherwise, rhyme games are really good, looking at signs when you are out and about and asking her to sound it out with you, get some early reader books and go slowly through those. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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All very good advice. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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My 5.5 yo has been able to read for the past 5-6 mos, but she's very shy about it and hesitant. I have decided to leave it alone. I feel like she would LOVE reading, once she gets the hang of it. But every time I suggest it, she does not want to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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How did she start reading? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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She started sounding out words on her own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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keys words "on her own." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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key words "bitchy ub mom" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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no, the point is learning to read is developmental. if the child is started to sound out words on her own, then clearly she is ready developmentally, although for whatever reason OR's dd doesn't seem ready emotionally. and OR is right. there is no good reason to push it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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yes - this is so true. I am the poster above whose dd struggled in k and blossomed in first - she is a YOUNG first grader. Will not be 7 until Nov of 2nd garde. It is clearly developmental. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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I put the CC (closed captioning) on the TV the moment that my son started watching tv. It got him to think about letters/writen words = sounds/spoken words. We also read a lot and made games out of reading things. Like playing I spy as we walked along... He is a great reader now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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There is a great book called "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons" it worked for both my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Cool! Will get a copy. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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Leap Frog videos were amazing for my ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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DS got Bob books for bday. That's how he learned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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Sorry that so many people are being weird about this question. There's absolutely no problem teaching your dd to read. Obviously it's no good for anyone to push her, but nothing wrong at all with teaching her at the level she's comfortable. First step is generally to teach letters and sounds. Then the rest comes pretty naturally. I'd read those very basic books like hop on pop and some of the phonics level 1 books. Also I second the Leap Frog suggestion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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get the explode the code work books. It's what most schools use. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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Headsprouts.com. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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first, wait until she's 7 like they do in Scandinavia. that is the age when their brain really is developmentally ready for reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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np: yeah, that is why my 6 yo was reading Narnia, Eddie Eager and Harry Potter. Totally not ready for reading, just wish someone had told her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 04:44 PM Flag
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You might love www.starfall.com (free early reading website). Also - does your DD know the sounds letters make? Try the dvd from Leap Frog: Word Factory. All of this is based on phonics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 05:12 PM Flag
[ - ] DH sister is uber rich. She is sometimes generous, but not often. This annoys me. DH is a public servant. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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I say enjoy it while you can. Esp if the gifts are for DC! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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get over it... make yourself some cash and you can use it as you want. she has the right to use what she has in the way she wants... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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Don't let it annoy you. Live your life and be content. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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your dh is a public servant and is compensated by the public. he should not be compensated by individuals, whether they are uber rich or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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plus- he chose that position for a reason. If he wanted to make $, or if OP wanted more $, they could chose to earn it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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meaning generous with you guys or generous as in, donates money to good causes? She doesn't owe you guys a penny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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She is generous to good causes. If it were me, I would make sure my sister was well taken care of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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But it isn't you. So let it go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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huh, I make a ton of dough and my sister doesn't. But she continues, into her early thirties, to be semi-supported by my dad. She also chose the job she chose, knowing the $$. I did the same. I don't owe her anything, and to be totally honest, neither does my dad but supports her anyway! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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His choice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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or: this is my point. It annoys me but its not my choice. Same for OP's SIL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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If there is nothing you can do about it, I dont see the benefit in thinking about it/letting it annoy you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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OP - Nobody helps us and I wouldn't expect anyone to hand us money. But she sees her brother drives a clunker. Why not surprise him. She is probably a billionaire. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Sounds like you do expect someone to hand you money. If he really wants a new car and wants her to help, why not ask her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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OP - He never would. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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and she's smart not to, because, clearly, if she ever did, you'd just want more later [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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ita - it's her money to do what she likes with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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it's your SIL's choice whether she wants to be generous or not. also, your DH could have been an IBer or a Big Law-yer. His choice. If you want a lot of money, make sure your second husband is rich. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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or- she could be a big lawyer. Women can earn their own these days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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I am a SAHM. DH sister married WELL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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good for her. wish i could be that lucky... (got a great guy, though) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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isn't that marrying well? I'd take a great relationship and happy life over marrying for money anyday- wait, actually I did! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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alright, well good for her then. I'm sure you married well, too, I'm sure your dh is a great guy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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i'm thinking she's not because it seems as though money is an issue for her or otherwise, she wouldn't care if her SIL was rich or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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OP - I think her DH is odd, though a nice enough guy. My Dh is a nice guy. I do wish I could hop on my private jet and fly around the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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let's just put it out there- she's jealous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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you think that she should just give her brother money? why? i don't get this attitude. everyone makes choices in life. and maybe your husband doesn't need to feel emasculated by his sister (which is how i would feel if she were "taking care of" me). maybe you should have married her husband (or, if she's the one earning the money, her) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:06 PM Flag
[ - ] My 5 1/2 month old db always holds his arms straight out to his sides (like a T). That is his preferred position, even while sleeping (always on his back). Did your db do this? It's been like this for at least 3-4 weeks. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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ha! my db was like that, it used to crack us up. My parents thought it was bizarre. He's 9mo now and somewhere along the way he stopped. Never really worried about it though... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Well - thanks. You made me feel better. He came one month early so I am on the lookout for little things. But in my heart, I think everything will be great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 12:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Pilates Moms: How many times a week do you do, and what other exercize do you do? How long until you saw results? tia! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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REPOST: Pilates Moms: How many times a week do you do it, and what other exercise do you do? How long until you saw results when you started?? Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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^whoops! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 01:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay, I need some ivf success stories. Anyone in their early 40's? Need encouragement 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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hi you, my name is rosanna, im in los angeles, any hooots just wanted to wish you the best of luck..... Im 39 and just started my IVF shots so Im there with you, just hoping and praying just like you. Just wanted to let you know your'e not alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 08:42 PM Flag
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np: Did I put in the wrong url? Is this Babycenter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:57 PM Flag
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huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:09 AM Flag
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yes, you must of, keep movin.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:16 AM Flag
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I don't know of anyone in your situation, but I wanted to wish you luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 08:57 PM Flag
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Had twins at 41 but used donor eggs. I'd recommend that route [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 09:04 PM Flag
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itta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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I have to ask and IVF question, I myself is going through my IVF #1 Im 39, egg retrieval is almost here, and I'm starting to stress about how my eggs I should be producing, does anybody out there know how many eggs are condidered to be normal ?????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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you asked this already. At 39 you'll be lucky to get 3-4 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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I got 6 - so there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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You will probably not succeed. Try donor. At least the baby will have dh's genes. It really is of little consequence in the larger scheme of things. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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not op but what a really bad response. so negative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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What are you arguing with? The facts are what they are. You asume have not been through years and over $100k in fertility treatments. I learned a lot about the stats and I am not negative - OP's probability of conceiving with her own eggs is slim. I went through a complete change in thinking through years of suffering and now i have abeautiful third dc. I would want to spare anyone what I experienced. Love and children is not so much about your genes as you initially think - that's all. I did wish her gl so I think your response is ill informed and extremely superficial. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:57 PM Flag
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pay no mind to np she wants someone to be a cheerleader on the titanic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:59 PM Flag
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lol - thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 04:59 PM Flag
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np: It's really hard to say either way what OP's experience will be, since we know none of her stats. She could produce lots of eggs, but poor quality. She could just have production issues but what she does produce are great eggs. Only her doctor will know how good her chances are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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No that's not true. Anyone with access to an RE or the internet knows what her chances are. It has little to do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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^^ with OP and lots to do with age. She may succeed but it's not likely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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You are quoting statistics. HER doctor knows where she will most likely fall in the statistics. I was young when I did my treatments, but I was had issues that put me in a category very unlikely to conceive and stay pregnant - other women my age had much better odds than I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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Very few women in their early 40's conceive using their own eggs. There is absolutely nothing debatable about that. OP may be one of the few. I really don't know why you keep up this ridiculous back and forth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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What kind of encouragement do you need? Are you reluctant to spend the money? Whether or not you feel "encouraged" will not change the success rate. There are other options such as donor egg or adoption. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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I'm 39 and 4 months pregnant with 3rd IVF attempt. My RE recommended donor egg after #2 but decided to try up to #5 with my own eggs. Also switched REs for #3. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:21 AM Flag
[ - ] is it too early to establish bedtime for a 9wk old? ds goes to bed around 9pm, sometimes later--doesn 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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Way too early. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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too soon. an early bedtime will probably emerge between 3 and 4 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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months & months too soon. At least until 3 months, please just work around his natural rhythm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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