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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Supposed to take 9 yo DD to summer camp this morning. Last night she defecated in her sleep! Of course, she'd had a HUGE day, running around, etc. but -- pooping the bed? She's never done that! I don't think she's pooped in her sleep since she was a newborn. WWYD: take her to summer camp or no? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:39 AM Flag
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I'd take her to camp. The accident may be due to nerves, the heat, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:41 AM Flag
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that's what I'm hoping. she has been SO excited about camp -- talking about it since last year actually. I can't imagine telling her she's not going. But then I wonder if she's not as excited as she's appeared. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:46 AM Flag
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I think I would too but it is disturbing. Day camp or sleep away? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:08 PM Flag
[ - ] wow. i just read the suicide article in the nyt mag. last night i felt so overwhelmed by the suicide demons. those thoughts that loom up, ever since i was a teenager. article was timely. i don't want to die. but i'm tired of the inner pain. perhaps i do need to investigate medication. scared i'll b a lab rat until i find right combo. where do i start? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.05.08, 04:10 AM Flag
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You will be ok while they find the right combo! GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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I have been in your shoes and medication was so helpful for me. I felt like (once I got right prescription) it helped me be the best version of myself -- you know, me on a great day, every day. You should see a psychiatrist I think because they know the most about meds. Am not currently on, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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It's all just chemicals ! Please find a good Psychiatrist who can help you get the right prescription for you. This is something you can get help with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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see a psych for meds and talk to a therapist as well-a team that can work tog. imho, meds don't work as well without the talk therapy. gl to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 08:43 AM Flag
[ - ] is food a priority in your household? if so, why? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:05 AM Flag
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um. because we have to eat? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:10 AM Flag
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i know it sounds weird, i guess is good food and making sure its around impt to you? and if so, how do you implement it into your household routine? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:30 AM Flag
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oh, sorry for being so snarky. i understand the good food issue. i just try to make the best choice of options and relax when i can't find organic. otherwise i was driving myself crazy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:31 AM Flag
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Yes! I think it's one of the things I do well (I SAH). I plan meals for the week so I have everything I need on hand, and then cooking is a pleasure. We go to the pool in late afternoon, so I do a lot of prep while dc eat lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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YES ! I love food... eating it, reading about it, learniing about it, cooking it, and my family enjoying it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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For my husband and me, cooking is our big entertainment post-kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:09 AM Flag
[ - ] i have a few friends married to men who aren't working. these are women who are doctors, college professors, etc. the men do NOTHING during the day -- won't even make a bed, cook anything, etc. one said (as told by his wife) that he wasn't a woman so he wasn't going to do anything in the house. i just listen and try to be supportive to be friends, and not say anything about their husbands. but this seems very stressful to the woman. anyone know if similar stories? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.05.08, 03:54 AM Flag
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writing an article? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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LOL. no. my ex was also a non-worker. it just surprised me that i found myself in that situation. i kept thinking that i would want someone to do the same for me should i find myself looking for a job. but at least my ex did loads of stuff around the house. these guys do nothing at all. and the women are very pretty, professionally successful. but they hve to treat the men's egos as if they were june cleaver. i'm just surprised by how many there are out there like this... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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I have a colleague like this. She was 37 and wanted a family so she married an "artist" who basically sits around all day. I think she chose to over look the giant red flags so she could have kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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I'm sure there are men who are married to women like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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op: do the women do nada around the house though? quite honestly, i would have no problem at all if i had a husband where we had a team arrangement -- where i ran the house and kids and he worked outside the home. i just find myself getting peeved to see one person doing nothing at all for the team. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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Sure. Some do. Think SAHMs with FT nannies and cleaning ladies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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i know some SAHMs who do nothing around the house. the husband works and has to help with laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. the wife does nothing but sit in front of the computer and shuffle the kids to and from lessons and classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 11:22 PM Flag
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do they care for the kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 10:14 PM Flag
[ - ] no no hair remover 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 10:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend where I should look for leather chairs for my living room? Around $1,000 each tops. TIA! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:27 PM Flag
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I'm so over leather [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:31 PM Flag
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i never had any so i am going this way, leather. any suggestions? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:33 PM Flag
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traditional or modern. for that price Ethan Allen has very good quality [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:35 PM Flag
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traditional. i'll look but they i think they might be way more than what i want to pay. thx though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:39 PM Flag
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I just bought leather furniture today.... consider double for a quality leather, comfy chair [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 12:55 AM Flag
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dh bought one at crate & barrel, which i thought would be awful and cheesy. but we've had it for three years and it looks great and is super comfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 02:54 AM Flag
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NP: My parents have a leather chair from C&B and it has held up well (although it's in a corner of the room and doesn't get a ton of use). For them, this was a "cheap" buy -- but they've been pleasantly surprised by how nice it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 04:21 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm an Obama Mama 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:02 PM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:27 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the best school on UES -- PS 290 or PS 6? I don't want sugary responses that say they're both good. Which is better and why? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.04.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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290. Better more creative teachers. Better spirit. Has had the benefit of many truly excellent and committed administrators. Still has the founding spirit of D2 - progressive, creative, happy. My friend sent her child to 6 and he was not challenged and did not learn that much. Her child was bright but not brilliant, so that's pretty much a condemnation of the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:19 PM Flag
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can one child's experience tell all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:27 PM Flag
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I would say 290, based on what I've heard from friends. My dd goes to 158 and I'd send her to 290 in a heartbeat if I could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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The question is which is better for YOUR child! 6 is more traditional; 290 more progressive. Different locations, populations. In general, 6 seems to have more kids who were shut out of private, while 290 parents seem more committed to public at the start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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reasonable minds will differ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 09:38 AM Flag
[ - ] I feel such sorrow for my pdd-nos daughter, now 8. I made so many mistakes, the main one being that I gave her mercury vaccines and the next one being that I constantly lost my cool with her. She has had a miserable childhood. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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The vaccines aren't the cause. Stop beating yourself up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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Yes, they were a cause. Mercury is a neurotoxin. Millions of moms are not wrong about what they experienced with their children. Either way, my dc's life has been ruined. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:45 PM Flag
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It's not the cause. And stop blaming yourself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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How do you know it's not the cause? Do you believe everything the government tells you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:53 PM Flag
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After mercury was taken out of the shots, the cases of autism and kids on the spectrum didn't go down, they spiked. Also, my ped (aka not the government) told me the mercury in all of the shots kids got combined in their lives added up to the mercury in one can of tuna. Mercury in shots is not the reason. Sorry about your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:57 PM Flag
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My kid is older than yours. When she got her vaccines, there were MUCH higher levels of mercury. It's the damage that was done to our kids that convinced government to recommend removal of mercury from vaccines. There have not been any comprehensive studies done that show a spike or significant reduction in autism since removal of mercury. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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it's not the government telling people. there's very extensive research on the topic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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The research in US to date is government controlled research. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:00 PM Flag
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I don't know what pdd-nos is, but you need to give yourself a break. You love your dd and it is not your fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:47 PM Flag
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I do love her, it's true, but I don't think I mothered her well. I was so despondent and impatient to see improvements, I constantly yelled at her, engaged in strict behavior in the name of Applied Behavior Analysis, etc. It's been an unimaginably difficult experience. We're all bruised and damaged, but especially this poor helpless child who remains in my care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:50 PM Flag
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We all make mistakes (or think we do) with our children. I have lost my cool with dd and dh had to, we feel terrible when this happens, but we are human. I am sure that your feelings are intensified due to your situation, but try to see it is just that and give yourself a break. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:54 PM Flag
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thanks yes -- things are pretty intensified for us because of her relentless tantruming and rigidity. But I should have known better -- it's just that after so many years, day in day out -- it becomes overwhelming. Still, my dd deserved better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:57 PM Flag
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why don't you get therapy to deal with your frustration etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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I do :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 09:02 PM Flag
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sorry to be clueless. what is pdd-nos? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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pervasive developmental disorder -- not otherwise specified. People have some but not all the symptoms of autism. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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she's only 8! she has a lot more of her childhood to go -- you sound defeated. she doesn't have to have any more of a miserable childhood. you recognize stuff you havne't liked that you've done; you have time to change. Get parenting support if you have to. She's lucky to have such a thoughtful mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 01:19 AM Flag
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I gave my child vaccines (dc is 12), ignoring the warnings I had heard. And.. nothing happened. Millions of moms gave their kids vaccines and nothing happened. You got unlucky. YOu have to let that one go adn move on. I also made many mistakes with dc - didn't get dc evaluated, didn't get dc OT when dc was informally diagnosed with various things (not as serious as yours), wrong babysitter, wrong preschool, wrong elementary school. DC was a basket case by 3rd grade who needed psychiatric intervention. DC has definitely suffered some trauma that will be with DC in one way or another whole life. All because mom was stupid, in denial, lacking in insight, etc. BUT I eventually figured out I was screwing up and changed what I could change about situation and myself and my parenting and DC much much better now. Kids are very responsive. 8 is not very old. You can stop feeling guilty which is self indulgent and get on the case to do better. SN kids are very hard; we are nto all saints like in Lifetime movies. Your guilt is more meaningful if you redeem it by change. It's not too late for your child, regardless of her issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 09:52 AM Flag
[ - ] dc is 10mo. he used to sleeep 10-11 hours, now he wakes every night. he's getting his 2 front teeth. how long does this go on for? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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2 teeth in, 12 more to go! good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 01:22 AM Flag
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teething never made my kids wake up in the middle of the night. are you sure that's what it is? are you using orajel or something? maybe when the numbness wears off, he wakes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 02:53 AM Flag
[ - ] ugh, dh, in response to my criticism on a letter he's writing, said that i was bossy, and that that's why no one likes me. why is he such a petty idiot? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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he probably was when you married him, but you managed to overlook it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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he's always been. but now the question is do i actually do anything about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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ha! and what would you do? He isn't going to change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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find another shmuck who has as many issues, but in another department [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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stick with the devil you know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:23 PM Flag
[ - ] need to vent. sister and bil have behaved inappropriately. i called them on it. sister started crying and now the whole freakin family is in an uproar bc i "made" my 38 week pregnant sister cry 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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why on earth would you pick on a pregnant lady [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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op: i did not pick on her. it's a long story, but she lied about something and now i'm taking the heat for it. she's denying it and i believe, she started crying to end the conversation. she is an extremely manipulative person and i'm not going to turn a blind eye when she's lying to my face...pregnant or not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Then why are you complaining on UB. You made your choice, sleep well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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op: because i've no one else to complain to right now. i will go along to get along, but i will never pretend that she didn't lie to me. i've been pregnant too, and if i lied i'd want someone to confront me at any point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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that's the silliest thing - no one lies and wants to be caught. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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well, i'm all about confronting. good for you. who cares if she's pregnant or not? she did something wrong. she's not a child, even though she's more emotional right now, what difference does that make?! kudos to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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op: thank you! we grew up in an alcoholic family, so the boundaries are all skewed. siblings are focused on this and don't seem to care that she lied about something important. thank god there is alanon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:24 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you do about a smart aleck 3.10 y/o? Here was our dinner conversation, at a friend's house. Her (dinner half-eaten, attracted by someone else's toys): I'm full. Me: You know the rule. If you want dessert, you have to eat your dinner. Her (emphatically): I'm FULL. Me: Ok, so what will you say when dessert comes out and you haven't finished your dinner? Her (thinking, then smiling 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.04.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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you know you are setting her up for an eating disorder, right? make eating a power issue -- good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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so how do you handle the whole dinner dessert issue? I certainly don't demand the clean plate club-but I will tell my ds (3yo)that he has to eat some before he gets dessert. I just can't fathom doing ice cream only for dinner. How do you draw the line between issue and nutrition? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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np: Dessert and dinner are separate. If ds doesn't eat dinner, he still gets his dessert, but isn't eating again until breakfast. Dessert isn't huge, just a few m&ms or 2 cookies or an ice cream sandwich. As for nutrition, I don't worry about any one meal but look at food intake over the day or over the course of a few days. One missed meal or poor meal isn't going to kill them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:44 PM Flag
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Your response is slightly bizarre. You look at food intake over the course of a few days? And, desert isn't a neccessitly, dinner is. If he isn't able to finish dinner, I don't see the logic in him eating more food that provides zero nutritional value. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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I'm not sure what she said that was "smart aleck" since your post got cut off, but I personally am fine with the no dinner, no dessert rule. But I wouldn't throw out her dinner so if she changes her mind once she sees dessert coming out, she can still sit down, finish her dinner (at least enough of it) and get dessert. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 08:56 PM Flag
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That's setting up for multiple meals. When my DDs say they're full, I say that's fine, but to get a treat (tiny), they have to finish their vegetables or whatever is healthiest on their plate. I remind them that the treat won't fill them up, so if they don't eat enough they will be hungry. I don't want them to be hungry. But once they firmly announce they're done, that's it for dinner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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Since when did dessert become an essential follow-up to dinner? Stay firm with your resolve--no dinner, no dessert. She leaves the room when everyone else is eating it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 06:10 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone on who is in recovery? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Starting toilet training my 3 yr. old asd boy today. He used the potty four times, has many, many accidents. Will continue over the weekend. Is this a good start? Should I be optimistic? Many sensory issues, motor planning difficulties. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Special Needs 07.04.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Sounds like you are off to a great start. Our 4 yr old developmentally delayed child was not trained until this year. Best advice we got was to let him run around the house for the weekend with no clothes or underwear. He naturally went to the bathroom/potty each time and accidents (minimal) were near the potty. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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Good Luck !!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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He used it successfully four times? If so, I think that is excellent and you should be very optimistic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 07:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Give Kira a middle name. One syllable - can't end in i, y or ie. Do the same for Gavin. We have been going over and over and can't decide. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.04.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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Kira Lynn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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Kira Jean. Gavin Scott [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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Kira Jane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Kira Jane! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 10:18 PM Flag
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kira grace. gavin cole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Kira Eve, Gavin James [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Kira Mae, Gavin Leif [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Kira Beth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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