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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] REPOST: moving to NYC, i know there are two good public schools on the UES, what are they. tia. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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actually they are all good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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np really not true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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290, 6, 158, 183, 59 all good enough [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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op do you have any idea, why i was told there are only 2 good ones? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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they are the most talked about 290 and 6 but if you look on inside schools the other 3 are quite good and getting better. 59 is getting brand new facilities so I bet that school is going to be fantastic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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and then you 116 in murray hill which is very top as well - on east 33rd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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op thank you so much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:54 AM Flag
[ - ] what do you do w/pants w/holes in the knees? i feel like my ds' go through every pair. do i just chuck them? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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I iron on patches. They will give you another 6 wearings or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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where do you get the patches? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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Target sells them. They make a package with about 8 different colors - denim, khaki, black, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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I put cute patches on dd's. but that's kinda gay for boys maybe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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gay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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yeah GAY. like you know, when you say gay in an 8th grade sort of way. like as in, a little fruity for boys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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yeah I got your intention [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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i haven't seen any 7yr boys w/patches, so i might have to agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:39 AM Flag
[ - ] i really think that SATC really f'ed up some women in the city. I know so many women who thought it would be "cool" to act like these woman, and who waited and waited for their Mr. Big (to no avail). Hey, I liked the show too, but I didn't take it SERIOUSLY. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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good grief, i think women who'd base their life on a show have bigger problems [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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You know women who modeled their romantic life on a t.v. series? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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yeah, like they would say which character they are and sip cosmos and acted like idiots. they all wanted to land a rich guy. now they are 40 and still alone. stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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np: lol, reminds me of a recent post - woman in her 30s was complaining that the guy she dating wasn't "hot" enough and those of us who chided her were royally flamed. Said guy was sweet, cute, a doctor, financially stable, etc., but had a flabby middle. That's satc trickle down, isn't it? ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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I know exactly what you mean but I think it is bigger than SATC. As women earnmore $$ we seem to become as selective and downright mean as men when it comes to finding an "acceptable" partner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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good point, esp in the NE and LA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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I doubt this is the reason = the tv show. I went out to bars and drank and had a wild 30s. Guess I was living the satc lifestyle but not bc of the show [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a DH with anger issues? Tantrums, big rages, etc? Any idea on treatment options ... that is if I can get him to agree to it 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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yep, but mine's been (willingly) in therapy for many, many years - it's helpful but I don't think it will ever fully eradicate it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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Therapy for many years? Yowza. I guess I was hoping for a pill...Does he still get as angry or has he just learned how to refocus his rage so it does not result in ugly, scary meltdowns? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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There's no pill to take for anger; it generally comes from unresolved conflicts/traumas formed early in life. He definitely is less angry and has learned to channel it and use practical behavioral techniques (walking away, asking for a "calm down" time, writing, working out). He is way better and got better before we ever met and married, but like I said, there's no instant panacea. FWIW, I have a good amt of anger of my own so I cut him slack and give him credit for working on it - that's the most impt thing, imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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Thanks. Yes, I agree that the acceptance of the problem and the effort to deal with it is very powerful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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GL to you - what's your dh's story? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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Explosive anger. Recently in front of my kids. They wept and were very scared for me. I can tolerate a lot but seeing my children terrified like that is more than I can bear. Alternatively - divorce doesn't seem like a great option either. There is no upside here althoguh I am considering therapy for my children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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has he even acknowledged he has a problem? I think that has to happen if he will ever get better (and then go to therapy or at least find someone to talk to). That's scary. Not arguing in front of our dc is the #1 priority here (we both can scream). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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Well I differentiate (normal) anger from rage because his rage is uncontrolleable. he doesn't seem to be able to stop himself no matter if the kids are around etc. When we discuss it he always tells me that I am responsible for his tantrum due to whatever it was that set him off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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ITA - what I meant was that through therapy my dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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dh's uncontrollable rage has been transformed into "regular old" anger - it's a watering down of the original emotional state. We've worked towards being able to stop it in front of the dc but it's been many, many years of work. If he says you are responsible for his anger, that is NOT a good sign. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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Thank you so much, you are very helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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Divorce is an option. I was raised by this kind of father. I wish my parents had divorced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:58 AM Flag
[ - ] whats a good gift for a friends dd who is turning 7 - something from Barnes and Noble and I want to spend 50 bucks 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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OP - IS ANYONE HERE? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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I would do a gift card. $50 is a lot of money for a 7 year old to spend at Barnes and Noblr - almost overwhelming. Maybe a stationary set, a book and the rest on a card? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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are you kidding? she could buy like 4 books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Look at the Klutz line - lots of cool crafts and fun things to do. But nothing comes close to $50. Maybe a classic book with that - Wizard of Oz or Alice in Wonderland or Secret Garden... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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ita on the Klutz line of crafts very good ideas [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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american girl books, maybe their mysteries series [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:20 PM Flag
[ - ] SATC movie. I thought it was good, thought Jennifer Hudson couldn't act worth shit though. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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i thought it was pretty disappointing and i am a huge fan of the series. sure go ahead and see it if you are a die-hard but i wouldn't make it a big priority [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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lots of gratiutious nudity. thought it was unnecessary and distasteful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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who is nude? Not SJP of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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only samantha was nude? and miranda at one point... may i ask what you expected... it is called SEX and the city lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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Strangest Oscar winner ever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:17 PM Flag
[ - ] i'm literally minutes from potentially signing a lease and leaving my husband. i'm so scared that i'm immobilized, but there's no way to stay in this marriage 55 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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If there really is no way to stick it out, you have to leave. I imagine that must be so scary, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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you have to try to not do this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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op: here are the issues: ALL of our money is separate. we have an onerous pre-nup. He makes 5x more than me. Now that i have threatened to leave, he will agree to give me more money per month. However, any property we buy will still be separate. We did not have sex for almost 4 years because he was not interested. He is trying in that regard. That was extremely painful for me. Finally, for 3 years he would not "permit" playdates in apt. because too small (whether he was here or not). Now, that i have threatened to leave, he will. Everything is a negotiation. Everything. He wants to compromise. I don't even want to discuss these things which I think should be non-issues. I am having a breakdown. Please help. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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is your husband an attorney? This sounds hauntingly like my DH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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op: in fact, he is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Well this is very similar to my situation. I try to tell myself that litigators are trained to fight and want to negotiate everything - even the most basic issues that seem non negotiable. We also have v. little sex - did he tell you why he isn't interested? Also, how old is he - how old are dcs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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playdate mom - I'm glad he said he'd let you do that. fwiw I havent had sex with my dh for more years than you. IT sucks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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let me do what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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have playdates - didn't you say he is letting you now - although I never understood why you just didnt' do it when he wasn't there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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he will let them, but he doesn't want them, and if i did them when he didn't want them, he would just be mad at me. dont you see? it FEELS like i'm doing something disrespectful. it's VERY hard to deal with this. if that makes any sense. it probably doesn't to you if you have enough confidence or these things are not issues for you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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omg, he sounds like he's mentally ill (np) - are you sure he will provide for you and your dc if you go? Or are you saying he'll agree to move out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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op: he will agree to move out temporarily (it's his apt), but not agree to pay for another apt., the maintenance on his (where we live) and split day care. He will not give me another penny. Basically, until this happened, i was living like that but he has given me more money for 3 months. If he leaves temporarily, he wont. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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he is in his late 40s. my children are toddlers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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Have you seen an attorney? He really needs to fight with someone trained to deal with him - you are going to be outmaneuvered at every step. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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i have an attorney. he's very mad at me this week because i have one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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wait, so he gives you an allowance and you have to split costs? he sounds more like a roomate than a husband. this is one of the reasons why i don't get why people keep separate accounts. he sounds nuts. have you gone to counseling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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OP signed this prenup agreement so we have to move past that. I am curious how the prenup stipulates financial coverage for the kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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i wasn't even talking about a prenup. i thought a prenup only stipulates financials in case of a divorce, not how you spend your money while you are married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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OP is talking about moving out (signing a lease)so they must be discussing divorce. Since I too am married to a controlling attorney I totally get how OP needs to have a seasoned divorce attorney on her side to dealw ith this guy. I am a big-mouthed, samrt woman but I am no match for my DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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op: I am a big mouthed smart woman and no match either. OMG, can you come over and talk to me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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seriously, talk to a lawyer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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HA! You should talk to me. I am NOT leaving like I should and instead of being appropriately angry at him I have gained 40 lbs through self-directed anger and sadness. You come talk to me you are the brave one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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i'm not brave. i'm terrified. i saw an apt. today and didn't sign. i just called back the leasing agent though. why don't you leave? what is your situation? how old are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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41, two great kids, very little earning power. My chopice is to remain married or move back in with my parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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prenups don't deal with kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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op: he tried to make the prenup deal with kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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it'll never stand up in court and he knows it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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op: i know, but i spent most of the negotiating just removing that part, just in case, and the rest limiting the time frame. it ends when i'm 68. i think at this point, even if he ripped up the prenup, i'm just so freaking tired. it's awful, because i don't want to be here, but i wish he could just magically make me believe that i want to be here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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Yikes - can you return to work and earn enough to support yourself and your children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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op: i do work. full time. and take care of 99% of the kids things. and he makes 5x more than me, and we basically split costs, except NOW, he says he'll give me more money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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does he pay mortgage/rent? household expenses? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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you know that the pre-nup has no bearing on child support, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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but he can't be forced to provide it either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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Don't some states garnish wages? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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heck, women never see that stuff - she's counting on him being a good guy and from what she describes she can't count on him supporting his own children [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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Wouldn't a failure to pay court ordered payments affect his ability to be qualified to practice law. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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op: he will pay child support. he just will not pay more if HE leaves temporarily. also, we will be fighting re: what child support is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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okay so file and let him stay in the apartment while you wait it out. Meanwhile, when he finds out how much it will cost to replace you he might see things differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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Child support isn't enforceable in NY state? I am not from there but that seems shocking to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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Read Ann Crittenden's The Price of Motherhood - very scary [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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of course he can be forced to provide child support. if you're in nys, it's a percentage of his earnings. how many kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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Read this post. Please leave him. You need to be able to live again. He's a controlling creep. The money isn't worth it. You will get child support; you will get/continue your job; you will be happy again. Good luck. Don't look back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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op: the guilt is overwhelming. OVERWHELMING. have you done it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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Guilt for what? Expecting to be treated well? Your kids will be better off not living in the same house as that man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, but I've gotta ask - it sounds like his being a major control freak/jerk off was apparent since before you got married. How did you think this would go well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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NP that is an unfair question. Lots of men (and women) can diguise or minimize their pathology. Im sure you have some unpleasant surprises yourself although hopefully not as bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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First, I apologized before asking, but I'm really curious. Second, there was no masking of pathology - he tried to include future children in a pre-nup!! What kind of disgusting person does that?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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yup, good point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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op: i obviously am an idiot. does that mean i need to keep dealing with this? i'm not sure why people ask this. is it to say, well you made your bed by marrying him. now, suck it up for the next 30 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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I absolutely don't agree - you obviously need to get out. And scary and awful as that is, the sooner the better. But somewhere inside, you always knew this was how it was gonna go. You should take comfort and strength from that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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i don't take comfort and strength from it. i'm just embarrassed and mortified, and have caused him great anguish. and that upsets me tremendously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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you really shouldn't let yourself spend too much time thinking about causing him great anguish. he sounds really shitty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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Stop being concerned with what you've caused him. He's vile. And it's time to forgive yourself for whatever you've believed you need punishment for. Let go of the embarrassment, get your ass into therapy and go sign that lease. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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ITTTTTTTA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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leave him. don't look back. it will be hard, then you'll have a life again where you can be happy. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Good girl names 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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These days I am into quasi-trashy names like Cara, Tia, Daisy, Candy. I think I am just reacting to all the retro names I hear these days like Sophia, Maude, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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my dog's name is candy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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Bonnie, Stephanie, Jennifer, Judy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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let me guess. Born between 1965-1969? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Who do i call? i think haagen dasz is trying to kill me. their new flavor is caramel with sea salt, it sounds amazing and i'm trying to resist. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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that is evil. there is no better taste than salty caramel... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Any vbac moms there? Prego w/ 2nd dc and debating whether to go with vbac or schedule a c-section. Had c-section w/ first after 30 hours of labor (10 hours in transition.. got stuck at 8cm). Just wanting input. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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i had a vbac and it was great--went smoothly, no complications, so glad that i did it. gl! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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^^so good to hear positive feedback about a vbac [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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really, just schedule the c-section. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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I started a VBAC support group in Bk/Manhattan. Let me know if you're interested in joining/resources, etc. A VBAC is definitely the way to go. Lower risks, less complications, but you need to find a provider who is truly supportive of natural, physiologic birth (no time limits, no immobilizing during labor, good pushing positions, etc.), and a midwife is your best bet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.02.08, 09:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Hello? is this thing on? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know of any good Italian restaurants in the Broadway Times Square area? Like Olive Garden? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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Etcetera etcetera. And of course Becco and Esca. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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becco hands down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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i think you're in luck and there's an olive garden in times square` [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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well, there is an olive garden. or you could go to becco if you actually wanted a good meal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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Olive Garden isn't a good restaurant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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uh, yea. that is my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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carmines? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Osteria al Doge, 44th street. Really good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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In my opinion, Olive Garden sucked the one time I went. Pasta was over cooked, and it tasted like diner food. Was that just my bad luck? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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np - Of course not. It's a horrible place. Not even a restaurant. OP is having some fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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after that meal I said I would never go into that restaurant again, and I still haven't yet. I really think it is a horrible restaurant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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what is OP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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The Original Poster - the first post [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 12:58 PM Flag
[ - ] I think of Harvey Korman ever day and cry. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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You're alone on that one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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we're all going to die.I hope I get to die an octogenarian like Korman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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