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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] if you eat kosher, does your produce also have to be kosher, or is it just for packaged food and animal products? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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produce is produce. doesn't have to be kosher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:05 AM Flag
[ - ] at what age did your db start using fork and sppon to eat? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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15 months consistantly at 19 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Q: how does it "Help" with development to fuss with a fork at this age? does it really matter at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Any of the G&T parents planning teaching kids some stuff over the summer , to make transition into K easier? If so what are you going to be working on. Helicopter mom freaks me out. 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.08.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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I'm a G&T mom and dd is just about to finish K this year - not necessary for you to 'teach' them anything - the transition to K is the same regardless of whether it's G&T - just enjoy the time with your dc this summer and let the teachers do the teaching.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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hahahahahahahaha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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kids deserve a break. having said that, we did a lot of reading over the summer. we took about 30 books out a wk from the library-dc picked most of them out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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freak [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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you are the freak...or just clueless. well, both really. this means the dc is reading 4-5 books a day, which is pretty normal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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np. Are these Ready-to-Read type books? Sounds normal to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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huh?my kids would read 30 books per week if we would get that many from the library also. I always have to stop them at 15 because more is just not possible to carry home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:02 PM Flag
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DD 5, knows all letters and and can count with mistakes up to 100. By end of summer want her to count up to 100 with out mistakes. Asked her to read Snowy days. At first, she said: that is not a ready to read book 1. I told her not all books say ready to read. We should try different books. She bought it and read about 60% of it without help. Her motivation. A mcdonald's bracelet. Afterwards she said she felt proud and excited she could read the whole book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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i hope you aren't serious. if yes, you are nuts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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why nuts? I have her read one book a little more challenging then others and that makes me nuts? I wish people on UB would not resort to labels and explain themselves a little more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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it makes you nuts because you bribed her with a bracelet from a disgusting fast food place so her colon dies a little bit but you get to feel like you are a great mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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Well just so that you know I don't take her to Mcdonald because she is allergic to like 20 things, including gluten which means no happy meals. I go after work and just buy the toys that are being promoted. We did not go to Mcdonalds. This week I had about 4 toys in my drawer. She hates to eat her gluten free, nut free, milk free, soy free food ..so sometimes a $2 toy gets that accomplished. She did not eat the bracelet, she wore it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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oh i see. you are a complete hyper nutty mom. I get it now. i have never heard of anything so friggin bizarre as keeping a drawer full of cheap mcd's toys in case you need a bribe. and i don't believe for one second that your kid is really allergic to so many things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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Consider yourself lucky, that you don't know kids with lots of allergies. As enlightment you should join http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/parentswithallergykids/ and http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/TerrificKidsWFA/ . It is heart breaking what some parents with severe allergies go thru. My DD has eczema triggered by her food allergies. I acutally did not include her egg white and pollen and the fact that I have to carry an Epi pen for her. Hey, you obviously like name calling. So I will leave it at that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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np: Eczema does not require an epi-pen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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nnp. She posted before her dd is allergic to nuts and other things. An epi-pen is standard for that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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OMG.. you are one of those freak moms whose dc are diagnosed by yourself as 'allergic' to all types of food... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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McDonald's is not disgusting. It's great. You wish you could cook like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:38 PM Flag
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bwhahahahahahaha you are a stage mom and school is your stage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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ITA. This is crazy. And a McDonald's bracelet??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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you sound like a really awesome mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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I think above poster may being facetious. You sound a little over the top. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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If she is counting to 100 aloud, that is just rote memory and is useless. Can she count objects to 100 without loosing track? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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losing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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I know a dc with a perfect OLSAT score that can't write his name and can't count past 20. My dc has a 99 too (although many more wrong) and she can read and do simple math. I wouldn't worry about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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This is a total brag. My dc is reading and doing more advanced stuff, so I'm not doing anything. I don't think it's fun for a kid to be able to do stuff they'll be teaching at school already. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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no kidding -- boredom can get ugly in a kindy classroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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just read a book that teaches you how to teach your chld through play. You're always teaching. Make it fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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The summer between K and first grade matters more. This is where you want to reinforce the skills introduced in K and expected in first grade. If your child is in a more relaxed school (like many private schools), I would say the summer between first and second grades is more critical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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^^^ Helicopter mom's child was behind in mid first grade--he was OK in K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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do you all realize that in some countries the kids don't go to school until they are 6 or 7? and no formal sit down teaching until then? and these are the countries where kids score the highest on international exams! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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Lord, no. In fact we're not doing camp or anything this summer. I want her to have some unscheduled time to just be a kid! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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I've always done work with my dcs in the summer. So the summer before K will be no different for my dd. Continuing to read will be important and I want my dd to know addition facts by September. Other than that - just general "stuff". And fwiw - my dcs will have plenty of time for just relaxing and having fun or doing nothing at all..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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Your dd doesn't know addition yet and shes going into K? You def should do some work. Not G&T, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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^^ Okay, I'm being a little facetious. Although my dd does know addition, and is going to be entering K in the fall. Maybe if she didn't I'd feel like we need to do all sorts of psycho "extra work" in the summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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OR: My dd knows how "to do addition" but I want her to know the facts cold. I'm actually pretty balanced. My dcs do work but I'm not over the top. They have plenty of time to play. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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Really now? That's some big imagination you have!!! Tell me, what countries are you speaking of and what are these so-called "international exams"? Who is the testing facility or association who gives these exams? And where do you get this fairy tale information? Stop inventing. Live here now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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^^^^That was in response to the "Do you all realize that in some countries" poster. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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np--I think the poster is referring to Finland, a country with one of the highest literacy rates in the world, where formal reading is not taught until age 7. There are no international exams (how would you compare different languages?) and Finland is a very homogeneous country . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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nnp. This is why statements like that OR's make me nuts. You can't compare what happens in a country like Finland to what happens in the US. TOTALLY different populations. It's foolish to argue their way is better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:14 PM Flag
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NP: I think she means the Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study (TIMSS) study. They test kids in different countries for math. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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From my experience peoples idea of what reading is differs. My Daughter has memorized numberous books eg. "Katie No Pockets" verbatim... but is not able to read. But you would think she could read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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I find it extremeley annoying when I mention my dc knows how to read that people suggest my dc might not be really reading at all (e.g. has book memorized). Some kids really learn how to read well early. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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np. Is this in response to something, or just a non sequitur? Same question to the OR right above. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Where is a great place to send a gift of chocolates from, to a new mom, major chocolate lover? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.08.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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vosges or sees [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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Heidiandarthur [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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call "the chocolate room" in park slope. great chocolate. will deliver. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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jacques torres [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:46 AM Flag
[ - ] Where can I buy a cute tankini for a 2-3yo girl on the UWS today, besides Children's Place and Gymboree? Thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.08.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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Try babygap or Old Navy baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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is there an old navy on the uws? i forgot about the gap in the w80s, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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The only Old Navy's I know of is on 18th & 6th Ave. & 34th St. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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z baby maybe? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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op: thanks, guys [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:52 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone buy a home that was in foreclosure? we are about to and im very nervous about it- anything i should know going into it? the house is new (build in 2006) but its in really bad condition...thanks. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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well, you have bad karma attached. and who the hell knows if it was built well to begin with -- then what they broke or sabotaged on their way out.... good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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Why nervous? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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my parents did, it was a mess. they spent a long time renovating it them selves and now have a beautiful home with an awesome pool that they would never ahve been able to afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:40 AM Flag
[ - ] Is being a SAHM mother the hardest job in the world? I'm writing an article and want to hear from you. 101 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.08.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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I don't agree with you, but go ahead and write your book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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I'm actually neutral. Why don't you think it's the hardest job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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Sometimes it can be emotionally isolating, but it is much hard to get up go to work and then still have to care for a child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:33 AM Flag
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my dh would disagree with you. he says he'd never be able to stick in there on the weekends when I'm away if he didn't know that he could go back to work on monday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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it's different for men. I have done both and WOHM is way harder ---in every way. But as a SAHM i was more tired at the end of the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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newsflash: that's YOUR opinion. not true for every woman. I would find SAH much harder [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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np: Isn't this about opinions? How is someone supposed to weigh in on this subject with anything other than their opinion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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a dh here. Men are no more hommogeneous than women. I'd be a SAHD in a heartbeat if I could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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np- i also think that it's fun and super easy compared to every otehr job that i ever had. it can be a bit isolating to be home at times but so are many jobs that are not in big, social, young offices. and i worked as a wall street attorney and changed careers into a more common industry outside law. broad internships behind me also. SAHM is not at all hardest job and it makes someone sounds so dysfunctional and pathetic to say that. how could anyone think it's hard? did they never really have a challenging true career? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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Someone is actually publishing a story with that hoary conceit? Well, they hired a lazy journo, so it makes sense they're pretty lazy themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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Why hoary conceit? FYI: I'm neutral on the subject. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:31 AM Flag
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you are lazy though, doing your research here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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it's so unoriginal. it's a hallmark greeting card for chrissakes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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I'm not saying it is the hardest job or not. I think it's interesting to explore exactly b/c it is a hallmark greeting. So, do you think it is the hardest job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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veeeery lazy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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it's definitely a hard job ... but i am sure there are much harder... what defines making it the hardest job in the WORLD? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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Good question. Among other reasons I've heard are the 24 hour nature of the job and the isolation. Do these make sense to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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the 24 hour nature of the job is there whether you WOHM or SAHM [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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np. It is a 24hr job but you have the freedom to go out and meet up with other Moms so probably less isolating than working all day and then having to come home to care for kids. It is also one of the most rewarding jobs imo. To be honest I think this would be a pretty boring topic for a book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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nnp: why does everyone keep calling it a book? didn't OP say article? also, i find woh f/t FAR less isolating than i'd find sah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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By the looks of the social circle of SAHMs at dc's pre-K. I would say isolation is not the major issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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ITA. isolation was working from home before having kids. i had zero chance to make friends. now, i'm surrounded by chipper, chatty women my age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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Yep me too and still have to be up at 6am the next day to go to a job where my boss is an arrogant and condescending pr#(k. I consider SAHMs very luck, they don't HAVE to do both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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Ok, here's my two cents. and i've done both. When you are earning your living doing something you have financial reward, positive feedback from your employer and respect from your peers. It's not the day itself that's so "hard". It's draining and repetitive and the truth is NO matter what you did in your former life, that doesn't carry over. No one even asks what you used to do. It levels the playing field and not in the best way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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it's not the hardest (whatever that means), but just very tedious and people tend to overparent, which is why you hear so many complaints. an intelligent adult isn't meant to spend all day, everyday doing activities meant for a toddler. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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wow. that's really insulting to teachers who work with toddlers. Dumb ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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np. only if you think all teachers do is play with toddlers all day. I think there might be slightly more to their jobs than that. So who is the DA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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yeah, they also prepare to do work with the toddlers. Seriously -- you are so condescending. I'm sure your kids really love you and appreciate all the time you spend with them. Oh, and I repeat -- YOU are the dumb ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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np- teachers of pre-school do not do any more than i do with DB other than they juggle a bunch of db's at once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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You are an idiot. PreK teachers have to have a lesson plan. They have to ensure that each child is learning and progressing. It is not just play time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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the mentally ill who need meds and verbally abuse should be at therapy and not hurling crude names on UB. that said, i do have lesson plans for DB also. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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New to this thread but must concur and add more. As someone who works in a preschool and has 3 DCs, I can tell you that working at school is much harder and requires preparation, patience (it's one thing to deal with your DC, another to deal with 6 others who aren't yours), manage unruly behavior that is all over the map (wide range of normal), neurotic parents, and agency demands. You are kidding yourself if you think it is the same as being with one, just multiplied a bit. With one, you can zone out or answer the phone and watch him/her play. You cannot do that in preschool/toddler program. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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teachers get off work at a reasonable time, sahm folks don't. Dumb ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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It's hard when you are trying to live on one low income. I imagine it's easier if you have a higher HHI [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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we have a high HHI and it's still hard. money doesn't make the tantrums, the mindless conversation, the constant attention giving, the never having time to yourself even if you have help go away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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True, but you can probably afford clothes, vacations and classes and don't have a sheriff knocking at your door with an eviction notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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Why do you SAH if it is that tough on you financially [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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np to some of us, the sacrifice is worth it. I can'r imagine not having thses first 3 years with DD. I know sometimes there is no choice, but we made it work. Worth it to us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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I don't anymore. We wanted to try to make it work, I had lost my job when DD was 9 months. It was ok for a year or so, but got real hard. I finally found a job when DD was 3 1/2 yo. Life is much better now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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I agree. Being a SAM and stressing about money sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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I think this topic has been done to death, frankly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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ITTTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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from ME? You want to hear from little ol' ME? Wow. This is my first interview with a real journalist, so I'm a little nervous.... Will my picture be in the article? Do you want pictures of my kids? We went to glamour shots last week so I could email you some darling ones... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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lmao [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I would only know that had I worked every job there is in the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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How about in comparison to the other bobs you have held? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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The thing that makes it hard to me is the fact that you have so little time to do what you want. I was older when I had DD so had a good 20 years or so of basically doing what I wanted in my off time. When I had DD, suddenly there was no "off" time. The 24/7 ness of it is the hard part, and that is there whether you WOH or SAH. If you SAH however, you don't get lunch breaks etc. If you WOH you at least get a little time here and there where you aren't focused on DB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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IDA, when you WOHM you don't get nap breaks and other breaks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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I understand but naptime is always tentative. It's not like I can say "I have 30 mintues to do what I want - listen to loud music in the car, go to a cafe and have lunch, go to the park, run errands" etc. I have to sit quietly and UB or read etc. You are right that I get breaks, but it's not the same as having an hour lunch break. I can sleep though! ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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Lunch is pretty tentative for us working folks. The only time I have taken an hour lunch is when it is a working lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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Very true, from another working mom. Any down time at work is usually checking up with nanny. Planning things for the kids, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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Very few WOHM's have a regular, scheduled lunch break to do what we want. I can't remember the last time I actually left my office for lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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But WOH mom's don't get that either. We don't have "off time" and we don't get time to ddo what we want. And lunch breaks? Does a yogurt at my desk during a conference call really count as "me time"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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That's only when the kids are little though. When they are in school SAHM's have tons of free time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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WOM mom here, what part of my day (any day) do I do what I want? oh and I do not get lunch breaks at work and am surrounded by others 24/7. I do not get time to myself when the baby is napping. Can you honestly tell me you NEVER sit and watch tv? I haven't watched tv in 5mth since my return to work. I'm so sick and tired of hearing SAHMs argue that WOH moms get time to themselves. You have the luxury of closing your eyes and not thing about finances. Just say thank you and STFU [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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Totally depends on the kids, age of kids, wealth of mom, level of dedication and involvement of mom. Support and respect from the DH is key too. I see SAHMs I think are Mother Theresa. I see SAHMs that are nothing more than pampered princesses with a gym addiction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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EXACTLY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 03:20 PM Flag
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Great answer- even though I'm the latter, and totally OK w/it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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I think it's very easy to do badly, very hard to do well. The relentlessness of it gets to me. I think it gets better as your kids get older. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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I feel like SAHM is challenging because it's a circle of catch 22s. The judgment, the judging (you feel like you are being judged; you judge others). The assuming, the assumptions (everyone assumes you have all the free time in the world; you assume that other people can't possibly be as busy as you). The fatigue, the energy (you are tired yet you feel like you can't get stuff done til after kids are in bed so you stay up late. The past, present and future - your style can be a result of your past, you worry about what you are doing in the present that will impact your dcs in the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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no, being a single mother is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Nap Breaks? Nap Breaks! You must be joking. That's fine if you want/need to work, but to condescend like that to SAHM is disgusting. Staying at home is hardly all about chit-chatting with other mothers and drinking coffee. It's a job; just like everything else. Except, you keep doing the same thing all day long. When you go to work you switch tasks and get pulled in other directions — admittedly stressful when you have a child at home. Being a mom is tough whether you work or not. There's no need to be so bitchy. Find another way to make yourself feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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yes. having worked really hard on my career for many years and now sah, yes it is the hardest job I've ever had in every way. some of us have it a lot easier than others though--resources, dh's, support, etc. I can't complain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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right but you can't possibly compare your working before you had kids to being a WOH mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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How completely perspective-free. Being an SAHM if you have the privileges that most UB moms have? Please. How about living in a war-zone, not having enough to eat, for God's sake, read the front page of the NYT if you need any clue on what the hardest jobs in the world are. Really. Such self-congratulation and utter lack of perspective on what you have is almost a parody. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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Writing for who? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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Am a SAHM and find it to be one of the easier jobs I've done. I'm in control (usually, anyway!). Hard jobs: 911 operator; house cleaner; agricultural worker. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 03:47 PM Flag
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Depends on the kid you get. For me, it was challenging but most rewarding, and I loved taking a break from career. I have a friend with a special needs kid, for her, it was really, really hard, and not that rewarding, but much more important. My kid would've been fine in daycare or with a nanny, hers really needed her, and she got much less positive reinforcement than I did (her child is progressing, but not in a typical way; things I took for granted are hard fought for her child). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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as a sn mom I cringed a little when I read this. I hear what you are saying and my sn dc is more work with less reward in the sense you talk about but he is more rewarding in other ways. My sn dc has more paperwork, doc visits ect than my nt dcs but I worry just as much about all my kids sn or nt. There also are some good parts to being a sn sah - there is a wonderful community, I have a team of great therapists to help with any parenting issue. I guess I don't want someone to feel sorry for me or my dc. He has a great life + is happy and so am I. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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Harder than say laying bricks or drilling for oil offshore? Given the choice between backbreaking labor in a dangerous environment (like commercial fishing or being a roustabout), pass me the diaper bag. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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Mom who said nap break mom was condescending - it was a response to someone who insinuated that WOHMs had so much more time to themselves because they get lunch breaks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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np: I haven't had a "lunch break" since i worked for an hourly wage. And if I did get a lunch break now, I would be working through it to get home to db earlier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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NP - the only thing that makes being a SAHM situation bearable is looking at it as if it is a job, just as we did when we were in an office. While of course a Mom is emotional and loves her children, the fact is that childcare is a job and if you're steady and reliable at it, it's the most rewarding job there is because you're rearing beautiful individuals for the world. At least, that's the fairytale I told myself every night after I worked at taking care of my dd all day and then all night if she woke up sick. It's hard, but if a Mom commits to being at home, then you do it, and often with more than one, and with no help, just as Moms have been doing it for ages. I stayed home with dd and raised a lovely young woman and I know I was responsible for it, and I'm proud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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^^^ responsible for it, and I'm proud of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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Every post here seems to assume "hard" = "more virtuous"... I LOVE being a SAHM and yes, I consider it a privilege-- we live in Manhattan on a blue collar city worker income, so I'm not a "typical UB SAHM" in that way, but we certainly have it easier than the majority, regardless. I also have a very supportive, family-oriented dh who does the cooking and grocery shopping. I do find being a SAHM in my situation easier in many ways than working outside the home-- it's also *infinitely* more fulfilling, literally a joy every day, and I am filled with gratitude that my dd is in my life. My relationship with her is paramount, and I feel the best way for me to nurture that relationship is to know her and understand her intimately the way I do as the person who sees her go through her days. I don't need points for doing the "hardest job in the world" and I couldn't care less who thinks I'm lazy. Just my 2 cents... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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...the person who sees her through her days. I don't need to be recognized as having the "hardest job in the world", and I actually think that's condescending. It doesn't have to be "the hardest" to be the most rewarding... Call me lazy, I really don't care... Not everyone wants to do it, nor should they have to. If we really valued motherhood as a "profession", we'd make it easier as a society for women to stay home if they wanted to. Maybe because its undervalued, the correction is to overstate how "hard" it is. It isn't "hard" (or harder than a job), it *is* important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 10:33 PM Flag
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Define "hard." I think brain surgeon is probably harder. How about medic in a war zone? Socal worker dealing with child abuse cases? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Of course not, what other job do you get hugs and kisses all day? Where do you get to directly see the fruits of your labor grow in front of your eyes? What other job requires you to take time out each day and just play and goof around? Of course it has its issues but there are millions of worse jobs out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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wow you get to play and good around all day? how do you manage that? no one said "worst" job either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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I didn't say all day, but obviously I spend a good part of my day playing with my kids. I'm a SAHM, duh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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i think it is harder too if you once worked because it is a whole other set of skills and you have to approach it differently. and ultimately compared to working i think it is harder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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I think it depends on the nature of the jobs you've held. I was a wohm first with an extremely stressful, demanding job. Becoming a sahm was such a welcome break from all of that and I find it easier in many ways [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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I agree that it depends on the nature of the jobs, your kids, family dynamic. I find SAH much harder but that does not mean it is this way for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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this is the most ridiculous concept for a story. the HARDEST job in the world? so,compared to every other possible occupation staying at home (which most people who do choose to do)is the hardest? come on, and im not knocking stay at home mothers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 02:56 AM Flag
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I would not say hardest. I think a full time SAHM with little kids (not kids in school all day) requires a physical and mental toughness like an endurance athlete. I've SAH and WAH and neither are the hardest job, they are different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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^ I also think SAHM have different jobs some have 3 under 3 some have special needs kids. WOH are different too some are at McDonalds taking orders, other are doctors. There is a huge range on both sides with good and bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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No, I think a WAHM is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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WELL IT CERTIANLY IS HARDER THAN BEING A BOARD WHORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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the whole crap about SAHMs being so hard is nonesense. Its the sacrifices of being a mother that make your life difficult but don't pretend for one second that your life is more difficult than a mother who has to also work full time. I don't get to shop, get coffee w/ friends, observe a play date, but still have to do the household chores when I get home from my full time job and try to get in as much time w/ my sweet baby. If I were priveledged enough to stay home I'd say thank you to my husband and thats it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:11 AM Flag
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I think "being a mother" is the hard thing no matter you are SAHM or WOHM. Both have different ups and downs. To me, becoming a mom posed the biggest challenge in my life. It's tough, irritating, yet rewarding and worth the pain. I just have so much respect to all the moms out there :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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It depends on how much help you have. The majority of the SAHM at our preschool have huge staffs of baby sitters working around the clock and on weekends taking care of their kids so they can go to the gym, get their nails done and lead the life they had before they got married. I wouldn't compare that life to a SAHM who has to do all of the child care work herself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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Anyone who thinks taking care of a healthy child is the hardest job in the world has never had to care for some one chronically ill or dying. If you think changing a baby's diaper is gross, try changing your mother's diaper. IMO the people who work in hospice have, if not the hardest, one of the hardest jobs in the world. Taking care of small children can be difficult but the ability to watch your children develop and thrive is a blessing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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It certainly isn't the most dangerous job in the world that belongs to fisherpeople. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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I'm gonna say being a soldier stationed overseas is #1 on the shit list. My kids have been away for three days and I miss them. I can't imagine 1 year rotations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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psst. you're replying to a post that is more than a month old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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There are so many backbreaking jobs in this world, it seems insane to ask this question. It's not even the hardest job I've ever had (and like you, I'm a journalist) and still, it's utterly draining at times. I think for some people it's excruciating to parent all day. You really can't compare it to a real job. Real jobs can't make you happy the way being a parent can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 09:13 PM Flag
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I think it's hard on SAH parents who also have freelance lives - it's a mistake to think you can do that kind of work when taking care of a child and the home. It's either done at 5am or 10pm and hence an exhausting life. Or you have to pay a sitter so that you can work. Or squeeze it into tiny pockets of time. Forget about any time for yourself - like the gym or other personal needs. Or, doing that with the child in tow requires twice the effort. So, a SAH parent who has nothing else going on in their lives except maybe a bookclub or church group, can handle focusing their energy only on family, but for someone with a life in the world, being home all day is a challenge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 03:08 AM Flag
[ - ] how legit do you think this news story is? It makes me nervous. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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http://jacksonville.injuryboard.com/head-and-brain-injuries/dry-drowning-warning-for-parents.aspx?googleid=241268 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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that is a very scary thought. did you google it elsewhere, web md, wikipedia? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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Is that the dry drowning kid in SC? Scared me too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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it's true, it was all over tv a few days ago. and it's been proven to happen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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What happened? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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kid went swimming, had an incident in the pool where he got really scared (had an accident and everything) mom walked home with him and everytign put him to bed and when she checked on him he had passed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:29 AM Flag
[ - ] So disgusted and saddened to hear about the death of the 3 yo boy in Bedford Stuy who was abandoned by his drug addict mother only to be beaten to death by his godmother and her boyfriend..they discovered child had been sodomized by object prior to death and burned with cigarrettes. I hope they torture those vermin. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/06/07/2008-06-07_couple_held_in_brooklyn_tots_torture_sla.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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they said that it was the worst case of child abuse they've seen. horrid. they should be hung [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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What charges will be filed vs the sick "godmother" and her depraved, a--hole bf? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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hopefully murder 1. they are f-d in prison. that's the great thing about jail- there's a hierarchy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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Yes, please elaborate...b/c I wish them the worst they inflicted on that innocent child multiplied horrifically by 100x. These are the cases which should be subjected to prolonged torture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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in prison hierarchy, child molesters and child abusers are seen as the worst of the worst. once other prisoners know their crime, they will receive the worst type of punishment from other prisoners with little protection from the guards. it still, however, doesn't bring back this little boy or change the past treatment of this little boy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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Bless him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Have a 7 mo and so worried about the heat when she's in her stroller - just stay indoors on days like this? Want to go to a playdate but it's so hot outside! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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take a taxi [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:40 AM Flag
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Indoor playdate would be a good idea. I wouldn't walk around outside for a long time today with my dcs but I don't like the heat myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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She will be fine. Believe it or not, some people do not have a/c!!! Egads!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] doi want sort by recency? someone once told me the way to set these new buttons and i forgot, tell me again how to do it, tia 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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I would think everyone has their own way of creating their settings. How do we know what you want? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:49 AM Flag
[ - ] i have to try again today to teach my dd to use tampons, she bleeds soo heavy and is leaving for camp in a month, she wants to use them but she is so scared. any suggestions, i am at a loss 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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what is she scared about? i don't remember being scared about tampons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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the actual part of it going in, she freezes, i rem being this way but i learned from friends not my mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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ky on the tip of tampon so it goes in really easily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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that's got to be embarassing for het to learn from mom. My mom refused to teach me as in her view it would break my hyman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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start with the slimmest tampons, and i'd use the tampax pearl (or whatever it's called) that's rounded and smooth. also, if you have her squat, it'll go in easier. have her use a liner as well. good for you--i wish my mom had taught me how to use them! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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i learned from the package insert. what's the big deal? if she wants to use them at camp she'll learn. I would suggest you walk away from her and let her figure it out without mom hovering over her. i don't think I could get a tampon in with someone watching, quite frankly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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