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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I love him very much and he is wonderful with my children. We are scheduled to move in together at summer's end and get married next spring. I am very worried about this bec no, I am not willing to live with a problem drinker who gets angry and acts unpredictably. He is not actively in AA- quit on his own. He says he is not an alcoholic. I have seen flashes of intense anger from him recently that have scared me, and that's when he's sober. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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Run [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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I really would not have someone who I knew to be unpredicatable and angry around my kids. You need to look after yourself and protect your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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i am sorry you are in such a difficult situation. it is lucky that you see problems now. i think you should see a professional b ecause it is a really tricky situation. i had a relationship where i noticed things were not so good. in fact, his family asked how i dealt with his anger. that should have been a clue that i should have not married him. i did and it was over pretty quickly but i got very depressed because of it. not saying this will happen to you, but read your own waring signs. there are people out there that do not have these problmes. was your relationship with you children's father like this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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work this out now, before you get married. if you really want to try to make it work, go to couples therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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get out now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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how many red flags do you need? he's an angry alcoholic in denial--is that good for your kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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sorry to say that I'd also walk away from this guy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] help i am so angry with dh lately. but i miss being close to him. dont know how to stop being angry at dh. am upset that he is so passive never plans anything, is not very communicative and makes the effort to plan things with his family but never with us. any advice 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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Can you talk to him about how you feel? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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he says i am bitchy , always n a bad mood, etc. i have tried but he doesnt get it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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stop initiating the plans and just let it slide off your back. tell him how you feel and then step back and act happy and friendly. he'll change if you do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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Make the plans yourself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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same sitch here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:58 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone else suddenly develop facial hair? i never had any and now i have this crazy upper lip hair situation. what to do?? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.08.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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bleach, wax or laser. It's just the way it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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I'm a beast. Want to go for laser, but it's pricey and what if it doesn't work?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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Be very careful who you choose. I went to laser (bikini area) and I swear I have more hair than before. It was a lot of $$$ wasted. Part of the problem is the appts are so close together that I didn't realize it was not working until three appts had passed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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That's exactly why I haven't gone anywhere yet! Have tried electrolysis, but I always lose patience and don't stick with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:53 AM Flag
[ - ] normal for on a rental agreement that the renter takes caree of all costs for fixing the washer and dryer? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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Doesn't seem unreasonable, since washer/dryer is not part of standard lease [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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I've rented a few places with w/d and owners paid for repairs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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not normal, unless the renters bought and installed the machines [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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i signed the lease. now what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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you pay for repairs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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oops. make them change it before you sign another one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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another one? there is only this one! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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I mean when/if you renew. I don't think you can do anything about the one you already signed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:50 AM Flag
[ - ] how is it i am 40 and all of the sudden am totally wrinkled and my face is SO filled with creases and weird huge pores and such. none of my other friends seem to look like this. i am trying to accept it but it's so hard to look so ugly! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.08.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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it's all in the mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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no, people really do look that way! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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drink more water [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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stand further back from the mirror [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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most people look like this close up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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Sun? Stress? Genes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 10:32 AM Flag
[ - ] no 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you force dc#1 to share his/her toys with #2? 3 y/o doesn't want db to play with some of his baby toys, beach ball, stuffed animals, etc. So far I haven't forced. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.08.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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let them figure it out themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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db is 6 months so I need to be involved! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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yes, DS knows that the stuff he doesn't want the baby to play with needs to stay in his room. Anything out in the living room is fair game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:39 AM Flag
[ - ] any information about last year's registration for G&T? When is the due date? in July or August? I must schedule a three-week trip(for my work) in Summer, but could not know how I can do this if I do not know DOE's schedule. any information is highly appreciated!!!!!! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.08.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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It's not during the summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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thanks a lot. what do you mean? not during the summer? in Fall? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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For 1st grade I think the deadline was early January. I'm not sure what it was for K, but I doubt it would be before late fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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thanks. but for G&T K, the school start from September, so I am sure it will be before September. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant it to register for the test. I don't know when you have to register for the schools if you get in. I think the date is still up in the air. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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That's ok. thanks. anyway. I mean when should we register with the G&T school? what is the deadline? How can I get this information? It really sucks. I must decide the trip time next week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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i'm sure the turnaround will be fast. offers in a few days, acceptance deadline in a couple weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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I am still hoping that they are timing it to match the lottery response deadline of 6/13 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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Because I need to know if I should take the trip first,then come back for registration? Or registration first then take the trip? Did DOE give long time for registration last year? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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no one knows? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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You're probably safe if you schedule your trip anytime from July 15 onward. Don't you already know which school you would choose anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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thanks. I donot know which school my DC can go, of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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so you think everything should be finished before July 15? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 07:19 PM Flag
[ - ] what are some good father day present ideas? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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Children! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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365 days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:43 AM Flag
[ - ] just one sip is one sip too many 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:19 AM Flag
[ - ] How often and how much do you drink now that you have kid(s)? I think I drink more than I did pre-dcs. I drink 4 nights a week, a couple of glasses of wine each night. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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You should go to AA, seriously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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That is rather extreme. There is nothing wrong with drinking in moderation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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Doesn't sound like moderation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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Seriously, AA? She didn't say she couldn't not drink. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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That is fine. One or two glasses is totally fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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yeah, but 4 nights a week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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I drink most nights sometimes a glass sometimes more. I don't feel like its a problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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Much less, but I'm mostly a social drinker and I hardly ever go out. I will have a bottle of beer or a glass of wine at home on occasion, but probably not more than a few times a month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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^^^4 nights a week does not seem excessive to me. It of course depends on how you handle it, if it affects your ability to deal with dc, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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drank 1 glass (or so) every night pre-db, now the same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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I am from Europe where it is normal to drink with dinner so many people drink every night in moderation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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i've never wanted to drink more than I do now w/dcs. pitiful, huh? I really try and limit myself to having no more than 2 beers and then only on sat/sun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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I rarely drink at all. Maybe a few times a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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how old are dcs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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Enjoy your drinks and don't worry about it!that's perfectly fine..there are def days when the kids are in bed and a glass of vino helps me unwind! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 12:30 PM Flag
[ - ] How worried would you be in my situation? A man I just got engaged to after a year of dating has a history as a heavy drinker and drug user- he is a musician. When we first met he had been sober for three years and told me he would "never drink a drop of alcohol again"- his sobriety was a major aspect of his presentation. He told me he got "hotheaded" and "emotionally" abusive" when he drank and that he made bad decisions about sexuality- ie cheating on girlfriends and casual sex with near-strangers. It was of passionate importance to him never to drink again. Last night, at just about the only party he's been to without me since we got together, he drank a "few sips" of tequila- he told me when he got home. This has really freaked me out mainly because it is so odd, so out of character for him, so in violation of his stated principles. I used to drink a bit socially but have stopped since we started dating in solidarity with him. my friends have warmed me that his "wild past" might resurface. what do you guys think? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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I think I'd stay away from him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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is he actively in AA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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it seems like you know the answer. go with the way that you feel. or put off the wedding, make ultimatums. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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how do you feel about him? you must love him if you are engaged to him. willing to work through this? it may become a problem. are you willing to work through difficult problems in the future? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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Run, Forrest, RUN! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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You have dc, right? I think you need to consider breaking off the engagement. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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talk to a professional about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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I would put any plans you have on hold. It sounds bad to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:47 AM Flag
[ - ] My mom is sick and I am really worried. Any tips for not worrying about things out of one's control? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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It is normal to feel worried in this situation. Do what you can to help out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone had their hair cut at John Barrett in Bergdorfs? ANy good? Looking for a stylist who is good with long thick hair adn layering without chopping. Anyone know how much they charge? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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I have hair like yours and had a few terrible haircuts (do NOT go to Red at Mark Garrison). I highly recommend Maria at Valery Jospeh salon. She is amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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Where is it? What do they charge? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 03:58 PM Flag
[ - ] gastric bypass for dh. not hugely obese but needs to lose 100 lbs. big surgery or lap band? big surgery supposedly more effective. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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I lost over 100 lbs without surgery or lap band. I think he should really think about surgery, it isn't a miracle cure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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lap band is way safer though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:27 AM Flag
[ - ] DH bickers in a hostile voice all day on saturday. backtalks to me. i don't like this in front of DS but how can i get him to stop? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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op- i guess it's only if i correct him. and it comes and goes on sat. sun. is alwys nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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DH snips at me in a hostile (loud) voice on saturdays. not good for DS to see this. can't get him to stop. he has a hard time transitioning from office and tired? WWYD? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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