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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Can you suggest a good one? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
[ - ] need a rec for the best hair straightning iron. tia 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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T3 -- bought it at Sephora. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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solano sapphire -- it;s heavy but has teeth. the chi is too thin and light [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:56 PM Flag
[ - ] what is the ac temp on? is your ac even on? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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74F [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:23 PM Flag
[ - ] at what age did your dc start recognizing colors? when can you tell if he is colorblind? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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I can't remember what age but around 2yo. I was sure my ds was colorblind as he couldn't differentiate between red and green but now he can. Other friends have had the same experience with their dc's. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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that's good. mine's 18m and he has no clue right now. it kind of freaks me out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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friend has a dc that is colorblind. She started suspecting at around 3 but it wasn't 'officially' diagnosed until he was in K or early in 1st grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
[ - ] No flame please. I know Dalton is very popular school and is hard to get in. Please tell me why is this school so popular and people think it is the best? I wanted to tour but it was all booked and never got a chance to look. TIA. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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It's huge and admits many kids - around 90 for K every year. It's one of only two Top Tier coed Manhattan schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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OK. So what makes Top Tier? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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exmission, exmission, exmission [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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It's one of 7 TTs. There are 3 coeds that are TTs: Dalton, Trinity and HM. HM is in the Bronx and people increasingly don't want to ship the kids out from Manhattan. Trinity is mostly about sibs and connections (their lower school is not rigorous though HS gets smart kids). Dalton is one of the bigger schools, so anyone who wants a Manhattan coed TT - people try for it. Dalton is more score/IQ conscious (weak sib preference; they weed out sibs who don't meet criteria), so they give a little more hope to unconnected with smart kids. Fans of Single Sex will go for SS schools, of course, and Dalton is the only TT that is more progressive. Other TTs, while not totally traditional, are far more structured. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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This is an excellent answer to OP's question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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I think they have a very specific educational philosophy to which they actually adhere, they are the only private that is really and truly diverse (40% of color), and they manage to balance progressive and traditional education very well. I have to say that I was more impressed on the tour - both as to curriculum, diversity and student work than I expected to be. I could care less about "TT" and there are other non-TT schools that I really liked too. I must say though, that as impressive a school as it is, it is definitely a school that has to spcifically be a good fit for the child and it's clear that it would NOT be a good fit for every child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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This is true. The school works for kids who are self-motivated and eager to learn. Also, socially well rounded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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Manhattan Country School and St. Hilda's St. Hugh's are very diverse independent schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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I cna't reply to the post re: MCS and SHSH. Anyway, they are diverse and great schools as well, but much smaller, only go up to 8th grade, and academically not as rigorous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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OR: I'd also add that MCS is WAY more progressive and therefore does not appeal to as many people and SHSH is religiously affiliated which cuts down on it's appeal also. And they are definitely not as academically rigorous if that's what someone wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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I disagree with the previous poster. Our DB is at SHSH -- and it is academically very rigorous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.17.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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I was just responding to the statement that Dalton is the "only private that is really and truly diverse," pointing out that these schools are very diverse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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Don't worry. I tried to tour in the spring and tried to go to their open house in September but they were all booked, I couldn't go. No matter, when you tour in the fall, you will see everything anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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because they have the most chauffered suv's and the most lavish bar/bat mitzvahs? really it is because it is the only "TT" coed. Many who want "tt or bust" are unsure about single sex schools, and HM and Trinity are far more traditional. So for wealthy, progressive-minded folks, Dalton is the holy grail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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All privates will have wealthy people, but TTs give out a lot of FA to smart but no money dc's. I heard that a non-TT school's open house had all their male teachers/staff donning tuxedos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:01 PM Flag
[ - ] And also, Nightingale is a girls school. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Curious: what defines a "top tier" school. What makes it so great? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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College exmissions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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also, smarter peer group (though there are very smart kids at non-TTs, TTs have a greater % of smart kids in each class) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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yes this is true, not so much necessarily in the early elementary years but beginning in about 3rd grade and up, kids who struggle academically are counseled out....hence another reason they have good college admissions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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Every year, there are moms who come to UB and say how they sent their dc's to 2nd tier or whatever bec they loved the school even though their kids had 99erb, etc., but they realized school is catering to kids who need help and not provide what their dc's need (more advanced, faster paced curriculum)... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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Not any more or less than a district G&T program really. Maybe even less smart of a peer group as a whole in each grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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OP: I would think the exmissions are pre-determined based on the parent population that can afford the TT schools. And the ultimate view, then, is that Ivy League schools are the best colleges? So it's all based on a very narrow view of "success" and "education" then. What will a kid in a TT private school learn that a kid in public or a 2nd tier not learn? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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Well, all private schools (TT or not) are made of parents who are very wealthy. College exmission is not based on Ivy alone, they look at non-ivy but excellent schools like Stanford, MIT, small liberal arts colleges like Amherst, Wellesley, etc. 2nd tiers are good, too, of course. Not sure why but TTs attract a greater number of smart kids (however defined) and they can go more into depth/go faster with curriculum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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If you look at the exmissions, it's many of the 2nd tier schools like Fieldston who exmit to the liberal arts colleges, rather than the TT schools. The TT schools seem to be more university (pref Ivy, Stanford or Duke) oriented. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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with the TT schools, for a lot of the high society types, it's about prestige and wanting your dc around children of people in your social circle. It's not just about the education [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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Plenty of high society types (maybe more) at non-TTs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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Honestly, IMO, kids in TT schools are not any smarter nor do they "learn" more than kids at a 2nd tier or a good public school HS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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Top performers at 2nd tiers apply out to TTs for MS or HS later on, though. Not all, but many do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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In the K-8s, of course they do. As for the K-12 2nd tiers, I'm mostly thinking of Fieldston, Nightingale, St Ann's, for example, and I don't really know how many transfer to a more TT school. The families and kids I know are happy at those schools through HS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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np. What do you mean the parent population that can afford the TT schools? These schools aren't any more expensive than most of the other NYC privates; they're nearly all in the $30k ballpark now. And whether or not you think the Ivies are "the best", it's a fact they have the most competitive admissions. That a school like Collegiate can send such a huge proportion of its graduates to these ultra-competitive schools is impressive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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generally it's the schools that send the highest % of kids to ivy colleges...it has less to do with the actually education thought then the 'connection' factor of the high society blue blooded NYers who have been sending their dcs to those particular schools for generations (and then to ivies for generations). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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Of course both Dalton and HM were decades ago more known for the more newly wealthy, rather than the blue bloods. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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yes because the blue bloods were sending their dcs to single sex schools back then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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no, it was because dalton and hm were the 2 schools that accepted jews; the blue blood schools did not (or had very strict quotas to limit jewish students). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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there were plenty of jews and blue bloods at brearley back in the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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brearly was the only single-sex school that sort of welcomed jews, that's how they got the rep of having the brainy girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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20 years ago it was school with a good reputation for teaching and for getting kids into desirable universities. Today is a different story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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In what way? I think it's still about colleges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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Not all parents and children are only concerned about what college they get into. Some actually enjoy the process of learning and being educated. Moreover, not everyone desires to go to Harvard. From what I have seen, all of the privates actually teach children exceedingly well - though some stress testing more than others. "Good college placement" depends on where the child wanted to go - which may be very different than your choice or your choice for your child - or even your child's choice if she should be so lucky as to be allowed to choose. Not meaning you personally there . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Oh, I agree. I'm saying that the UB TT 7 are those 7 schools because they have the best college exmissions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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^^^Best exmissions to the Ivies of course + other top schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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"Best" how? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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This is in reply to the "Best how?" question above. By percentage of senior class who goes to the 7 Ivies + whatever other schools. The WSJ published a list of the top schools, as did Worth Magazine (many years ago). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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^^^Oops - 8 Ivies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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You seem to be missing the point that not every child wishes to go to an Ivy. My highschool girls do not even like college football. And Brown, etc. is not really going to get my eldest an engineer job. The point of the original post, I believe and original poster please correct me if I am wrong, is that 20 years ago the college choices were rather different than they are today. 20 years ago the entree into the market place was much narrrower than it is today. It takes a bit more than a Harvard history degree or a Yale English lit degree to land job without connections. Further, though connections will get you a job, they will not keep that job; and someone from Conn U. who majored in web-based marketing will take it. The Ivies are dead. Unless Mr. President can help bring up their reputation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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I was really just trying to make the point that just beacuse 20 years ago they were the only school choices does not mean that they are any better than any of the newer schools. Naturally, the newer schools have less history university placements but, per chance, this is not the only tesst of a school. Wild thought I know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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heresy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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Quite frankly, I think you are the one missing my point. I totally agree with you in that not everyone wants Ivy. I believe that you can get a better undergraduate education at a liberal arts college. My ONLY point is that those 7 schools are called Top Tier only because of their exmissions to the Ivies & other top ranked colleges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 10:11 PM Flag
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there's a little bride couple on the roof. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Poll: How much per is your dc's class collecting for end of year teacher gift, and what is the gift? Also private or public? For us, $130 for private preschool (three classroom teachers and three enrichment teachers) 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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public, 2nd grade, the ask is $25 to cover head teacher, assistant teacher and student teacher plus specials teachers. The gifts are cash, which is always welcome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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Private nursery school. Collected $30 per family (14 DC in class) for 3 classroom teachers. Gave cash gift and craft by DC. (It's an affluent school and many people -- including me -- would have liked to give more, but $30 is the school rule.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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class parent won't tell anyone how much she has decided to give, mostly because she doesn't want to give very much. takes from class fund, but doesn't say how much. have never heard of such a thing before. very crazy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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I think I know who you mean. all of the parents were talking about his at dropoff recently. agree that its crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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^^^about this... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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Private, 3rd grade, none. Against school policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
[ - ] My toddler is 2 years old and falls asleep on his own no problem but wakes up at 1am and will not go back to sleep until he comes in our bed. I have tried to let him cry it out but he could cry until 6am now..Same with naps, he goes for a nap on his own and wakes up after 30 minutes and wants to finish the nap in our bed. I am torn b.c if I don't let him, he is crank and uncontrollable--any thoughts or advice for a mom needing sleep!! 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.12.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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cio - your kid will get it but it can be more difficult for some parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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you can't sleep with your toddler in your bed? Good god, I've had a toddler in my bed for 6 years straight! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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I would prefer not to sleep with a toddler in my bed--he only wants to sleep on top of my husband and no one sleeps b.c he tosses and turns all night and i don't think he gets a good nights sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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your poor kid has separation anxiety. Dh needs to increase quality time spent during the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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I am with him all day everyday so I can't possibly spend more time than that but thanks for the advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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I said DH needs to spend more quality time with him. And by the way just because you're with him all day doesn't mean it's quality time. If he's got an insecure attachment, then maybe it's not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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oh yeah, blame it on the parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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get a grip [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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you're wrong actually because I am with db all day and he still wants to sleep on top of me. CIO did not work, you know what worked for us? Sleeping in the same room with db in pack n' play. he stopped waking up in middle of the night and now sleeps all night in crib with a few exceptions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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NP I hear yah. We went through the same thing and I think I just quietly kept putting ds back and eventually he got it. 3 now and sleeps through the night in his own bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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Do you think I should take him out of the crib and put him in a bed, I am wondering if that will make a difference? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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I doubt that will help. He will probably just wander out on his own. Keep putting him back in the crib. I know it's a pain, but ultimately YOU will be able to sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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NO! He'll just walk to your bed instead of your having to go get him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I wouldn't brag about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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But I tried that and he cried from 2am to 6:30am at which point I had to take him out--he then fell asleep on the couch downstairs an hour later b.c he was so tired [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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You taught him that if he cries for 4 hours, you will come. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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so how long should I let him cry, more than 4 hours? Until he finally falls back asleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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^^^^^^^^was this the first ever time you tried CIO and was that the result or have you done it, sort of in the past? How old is dc? I really belive in CIO, but you may have set some bad patterns and may have to try a different tactic with dc. I think you need to get this porblem solved before he's in a bed and can wander the house. Have you read Weisbluth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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I have done it in the past when he was younger and it worked. But now that he is a little older, he has more stamina and will just cry and cry. he is 2 now. What other tactics can I try?? I have read weisbluth but all these books address problems when they can't put themselves to sleep and he can initially, it is just when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can't until he comes in our bed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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well, he can't self soothe and puthimslef *back* to bed, so that is a problem (I did CIO for night wakings (7.5 mos)not initial bedtime, btw, for one child, and for my second child who slept through, but later decided she didn't want to go to bed, we did CIO at bedtime (19 months old).) I'm not sure what to tell you, but he has learned that you will put him in your bed eventually....and my geuss is he didn't learn this from just a few nights of problems. His crying behavior has been reinforced. Now, I'm not suggesting 4 hours of cio, but I was never in your shoes. This problem took some tome to get here and it willtake some time to solve. But solve it before he is out of the crib. He needs to learn to self sooothe. Perhps Ferber...where you repetittively go bak in and pat his back.....but *leave him in the crib*....might be an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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np: You've had interesting and positive experiences with CIO, but I don't think it works with all kids. I think if the kid cries for 4 hours it's not working, or that it is not the best most healthy method for that kid. I think OP is right to seek out other options. I also think some kids grow out of some sleep habits. Just like some kids are good eaters or good talkers or whatever, we do what we can to encourage them to become better, but you can only do so much to mold some of their natural inclinations. (I know I'm in the minority on this belief, but as a mom who's really been through the ringer trying everything and finally has a sleeping kid just due to time, I am tired of people always blaming the parent for sleep issues. BUt somehow we don't blame the parent for other issues.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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I let him sleep in our bed bc that's what worked for me and he slowly came in later and later. Now most days he does not come in until after DH leaves for work. Another option would be to go lie with him in his bed until he falls back asleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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Should I move him from the crib to a real bed then at this point?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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Oh, I didn't realize he was in a crib still. That may be it. We moved DS at 16 months because he kept waking up in his crib. He may sleep better in his bed or at worst, he may come find you rather than waking up and crying which is what DS did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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DId you switch to a small toddler bed at first or did you go right to a twin or full size bed?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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We had 2 twin beds in his room from the beginning (DH's grandma sold her house and they were her "guest room" beds). We threw out the frames and just kept mattress & box springs ont he floor (still have it that way)/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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We have a big kid bed in dd's room and if I lay with her in there for 30 minutes or so she'll often go quietly back into her crib (this only happens once every few weeks, though, so not sure it is much help). gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I feel for you. our pedi gave me some advice because our 9 mo old is like this and she wants us to stop it now. I think our db could cry all night too. have you asked your pedi? ours has seen and heard it all and has good advice I find on sleeping issues. (Ferber does address waking up in the middle of the night; that is db's issue too.) good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Do you let him cio it out all night? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:01 AM Flag
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I've done a couple of hours of sporadic crying, but that's the most I can take. it'd be a faster fix to just let her cry longer, but I can't make myself get to that point yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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Maybe he's ready to lose the nap and will be more tired at night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:05 AM Flag
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Did you try to sleep on the floor next to him? What bed does he sleep in? If it is a crib or a toddler bed throw it out, out a full size mattress on the floor and spend a few nights with him in his room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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Yes, if I lay on the floor next to his crib, then he cries that he wants to come and sleep on the floor with me?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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I don't know, but DH is anti CIO. After a vacation, DD would not go back in the crib for too long either, so we put her on a full mattress that was on the floor. Just the top part/no boxspring. She sleeps there and if she wakes I like with her for 10 minutes and she goes back to sleep. She never figured out she could come in our bed exactly - she yells for us as if she is in a crib. She rarely calls for us anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 10:51 AM Flag
[ - ] urea is working 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:11 PM Flag
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what's her shift ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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