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06.12.08, 17:14 PM Toddler
34 replies
My toddler is 2 years old and falls asleep on his own no problem but wakes up at 1am and will not go back to sleep until he comes in our bed. I have tried to let him cry it out but he could cry until 6am now..Same with naps, he goes for a nap on his own and wakes up after 30 minutes and wants to finish the nap in our bed. I am torn b.c if I don't let him, he is crank and uncontrollable--any thoughts or advice for a mom needing sleep!! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 06.12.08, 05:14 PM Flag
 

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cio - your kid will get it but it can be more difficult for some parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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you can't sleep with your toddler in your bed? Good god, I've had a toddler in my bed for 6 years straight! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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I would prefer not to sleep with a toddler in my bed--he only wants to sleep on top of my husband and no one sleeps b.c he tosses and turns all night and i don't think he gets a good nights sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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your poor kid has separation anxiety. Dh needs to increase quality time spent during the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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I am with him all day everyday so I can't possibly spend more time than that but thanks for the advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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I said DH needs to spend more quality time with him. And by the way just because you're with him all day doesn't mean it's quality time. If he's got an insecure attachment, then maybe it's not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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oh yeah, blame it on the parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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get a grip [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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you're wrong actually because I am with db all day and he still wants to sleep on top of me. CIO did not work, you know what worked for us? Sleeping in the same room with db in pack n' play. he stopped waking up in middle of the night and now sleeps all night in crib with a few exceptions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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NP I hear yah. We went through the same thing and I think I just quietly kept putting ds back and eventually he got it. 3 now and sleeps through the night in his own bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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Do you think I should take him out of the crib and put him in a bed, I am wondering if that will make a difference? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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I doubt that will help. He will probably just wander out on his own. Keep putting him back in the crib. I know it's a pain, but ultimately YOU will be able to sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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NO! He'll just walk to your bed instead of your having to go get him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I wouldn't brag about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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But I tried that and he cried from 2am to 6:30am at which point I had to take him out--he then fell asleep on the couch downstairs an hour later b.c he was so tired [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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You taught him that if he cries for 4 hours, you will come. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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so how long should I let him cry, more than 4 hours? Until he finally falls back asleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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^^^^^^^^was this the first ever time you tried CIO and was that the result or have you done it, sort of in the past? How old is dc? I really belive in CIO, but you may have set some bad patterns and may have to try a different tactic with dc. I think you need to get this porblem solved before he's in a bed and can wander the house. Have you read Weisbluth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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I have done it in the past when he was younger and it worked. But now that he is a little older, he has more stamina and will just cry and cry. he is 2 now. What other tactics can I try?? I have read weisbluth but all these books address problems when they can't put themselves to sleep and he can initially, it is just when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can't until he comes in our bed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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well, he can't self soothe and puthimslef *back* to bed, so that is a problem (I did CIO for night wakings (7.5 mos)not initial bedtime, btw, for one child, and for my second child who slept through, but later decided she didn't want to go to bed, we did CIO at bedtime (19 months old).) I'm not sure what to tell you, but he has learned that you will put him in your bed eventually....and my geuss is he didn't learn this from just a few nights of problems. His crying behavior has been reinforced. Now, I'm not suggesting 4 hours of cio, but I was never in your shoes. This problem took some tome to get here and it willtake some time to solve. But solve it before he is out of the crib. He needs to learn to self sooothe. Perhps Ferber...where you repetittively go bak in and pat his back.....but *leave him in the crib*....might be an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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np: You've had interesting and positive experiences with CIO, but I don't think it works with all kids. I think if the kid cries for 4 hours it's not working, or that it is not the best most healthy method for that kid. I think OP is right to seek out other options. I also think some kids grow out of some sleep habits. Just like some kids are good eaters or good talkers or whatever, we do what we can to encourage them to become better, but you can only do so much to mold some of their natural inclinations. (I know I'm in the minority on this belief, but as a mom who's really been through the ringer trying everything and finally has a sleeping kid just due to time, I am tired of people always blaming the parent for sleep issues. BUt somehow we don't blame the parent for other issues.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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I let him sleep in our bed bc that's what worked for me and he slowly came in later and later. Now most days he does not come in until after DH leaves for work. Another option would be to go lie with him in his bed until he falls back asleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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Should I move him from the crib to a real bed then at this point?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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Oh, I didn't realize he was in a crib still. That may be it. We moved DS at 16 months because he kept waking up in his crib. He may sleep better in his bed or at worst, he may come find you rather than waking up and crying which is what DS did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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DId you switch to a small toddler bed at first or did you go right to a twin or full size bed?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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We had 2 twin beds in his room from the beginning (DH's grandma sold her house and they were her "guest room" beds). We threw out the frames and just kept mattress & box springs ont he floor (still have it that way)/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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We have a big kid bed in dd's room and if I lay with her in there for 30 minutes or so she'll often go quietly back into her crib (this only happens once every few weeks, though, so not sure it is much help). gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I feel for you. our pedi gave me some advice because our 9 mo old is like this and she wants us to stop it now. I think our db could cry all night too. have you asked your pedi? ours has seen and heard it all and has good advice I find on sleeping issues. (Ferber does address waking up in the middle of the night; that is db's issue too.) good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Do you let him cio it out all night? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:01 AM Flag
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I've done a couple of hours of sporadic crying, but that's the most I can take. it'd be a faster fix to just let her cry longer, but I can't make myself get to that point yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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Maybe he's ready to lose the nap and will be more tired at night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:05 AM Flag
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Did you try to sleep on the floor next to him? What bed does he sleep in? If it is a crib or a toddler bed throw it out, out a full size mattress on the floor and spend a few nights with him in his room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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Yes, if I lay on the floor next to his crib, then he cries that he wants to come and sleep on the floor with me?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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I don't know, but DH is anti CIO. After a vacation, DD would not go back in the crib for too long either, so we put her on a full mattress that was on the floor. Just the top part/no boxspring. She sleeps there and if she wakes I like with her for 10 minutes and she goes back to sleep. She never figured out she could come in our bed exactly - she yells for us as if she is in a crib. She rarely calls for us anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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