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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Moms - need advice badly. I had severe PPD and would love one more baby BUT I am so terrified. I really think I have Post Traumatic Stress from the experience. I'm on meds and terrified of withdrawal and relapse. I refuse to take meds while pg (I just can't bring myself to do it) so I am in a lose lose situation. Anyone else in this predicament? And I am 38 yrs old so I don't have tons of time. 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.16.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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what are you taking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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I am taking 175mgs of Zoloft [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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are you in therapy too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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Yes. Been doing it on and off. helps but not 100%. believe me I've done it all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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my first thought on reading your post is that your depression/anxiety is still not in FULL remission. because lose/lose thinking is characteristic of depressive cognitive distortions. (i'm a psychotherapist mom, btw, and also deal with managing my own depressive/anxiety d/o issues...) do you think that you are actually out of your depression fully? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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No. You are right. I am probably not 100% recovered. I also say that because I still get very very bad PMS although taking meds. I honestly don't know if I ever will be 100%. I think part of it has to really come from within and I am not at that place yet - not sure why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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Jewish? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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no- catholic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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prozac is MUCH more helpful, in my experience, with the PMS related increase in symptoms. have you taken prozac before? either way, you might want to ask your MD about augmenting with it during your cycle. they market it under the name serafim, or something like that, just for this purpose. prozac also has the most study of use during pg. but, in the meanwhile, if you're not there, you're not there. it's not about the medication. when i wanted to get pg - and this is true of many women - i would have done ANYTHING to make it happen, you know? it's okay not to want to do that right now. or ever. be gentle on yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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THANK YOU - I really appreciate your advice and nice words. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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no prob - best wishes to you and yours! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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ITA, this mom needs more space before she can try again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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i'm on effexor, and don't feel like it's doing anything for me anymore. only 75 mg. i've heard the weaning off process is horrible, do you feel the zoloft is helping? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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Hi, you are me. I have a 6 year space between #1 and #2 because #1 was so hard. I call it my "Vietnam experience". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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YES - exactly. It really felt like I was in a different world. such a scary experience [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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The side effects of any meds are less substantial imo then the effect of anxiety and depression on children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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do you mean in utero?? I get scared becuase I feel like drs. will say that a certain med is ok then 3 yrs later you'll hear that it may have effects on fetus' heart etc (paxil for ex) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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The risks of a depressed and anxious mom during infancy/childhood are very well documented. Everything in life has its risks but I think substantial #s of women are requiring meds during and after pregnancy now. If it is helpful I take Lexapro and was on it during and after the birth of my second child and I nurse him as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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np: psychotherapist mom from above: the pp is right though. the harmful impact of stress hormones upon fetal development are well documented. in other words, they are not a risk, they are a given. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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Do you think if my baby was negatively affected by my severe stress during pregnancy that the effects would have shown by now? He is 19 months and so far is above avg intelligence and healthy (I pray he stays this way) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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oh gosh. i worried about this as soon as i hit reply. please don't take my post as a reason to begin to feel guilty or worried without cause. it's very hard to define what constitutes stress that is the type to cause the significant hormonal shifts. when they've done the studies, they typically study women who meet the diagnostic criteria for depressive disorders versus those who do not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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Effexor post - sorry the system won't let me reply to you. YES the zoloft helped so much which is great but makes me wonder if I can do without it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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i'd just stop them. you'll make it, and start up again on whatever you need to do after dc is born (and don't BF if you can't). your mental health is most important, but if you want to have a baby you'll need to get through the 9 mos. but did you ahve depression during the pregnancy? if not, then maybe you can cope with the post traumatic during that, then take drugs again when PPD might set in. and get into therapy if your'e not already [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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yes - I had anxiety during the pregnancy and developed OCD at about 8 months (horrible) BUT thank god so far my db is ok. I worried how that would have affected him. I'm just scared that my anxiety will be more like the ppd than the pg anxiety. the ppd was much much worse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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if you know anything about depression meds, you would know you can't "just stop them" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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I've been on meds for years and both my primary doc and ob suggested i stay on during pregnancy, b/c the hormones could really do a number on you during pregnancy -- especially if you're already susceptible to an imbalance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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How old is #1? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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19 months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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take 6 more months to stabilize. You have plenty of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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Thank You - just hearing this made me feel better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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I had this with #2, a little with #1. I've been on Wellbutrin and Zoloft since stopping the breastfeeding and feel much better. Just want to say I feel for you. Hang in there. Just work very closely with your OB and psychiatrist on what meds you can take. Have them talk to each other. My psychiatrist put me on Prozac while bfing. Maybe you can take that during pregnancy. Hang in and good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I am in the same exact boat. I finally made an appt. with my ob to ask her opinion. Also have heard talking to a psych, rather than your general doctor, is a better choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.17.08, 10:23 PM Flag
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Placenta-your own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.17.08, 10:24 PM Flag
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that's pp of course and increased therapy, perhaps nutritional counseling, pre-natal yoga, meditation. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.17.08, 10:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Fill me in, please. The current principal at LL is leaving? Some Anderson vice principal is going to take her job? What's the source? It's nowhere to be found on LL's website. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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I'm an Anderson parent. A letter came home from our administration congratulating our Assistant Principal on becoming the new Principal at LL. Search Anderson on UB and you'll learn more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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That's good for LL, isn't it? I am a new LL parent for this fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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yes, the Anderson Asst Principal is wonderful! Anderson's loss, LL's gain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Yes, we at LL got a letter introducing the new principal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:05 AM Flag
[ - ] 2 friends and I got pregnant at the same time, all due this week. DF and I had miscarriages. I got preg again right away, she is still ttc. Spoke to her today, and mentioned it. She got upset, I appologized profusely. She still seemed upset. I honestly did not mean to be insensitive. Anything else I can do? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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i'm confused, what did you mention? that she's trying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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no, that our friend is being induced tomorrow, and that it would have been me (really us) soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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ohhhh. yeah, that seems like a totally innocent mistake on your part but i see why she felt bad. I think there's probbably nothing you can do if you already apologized, though if you wanted to email once more and just briefly say you've thought bout it mor eand feel like you erred, that's proabably ok. she might say something like "drop it" which you shoul djus say ok to, if she does. she'll get over it, but no harm in reiterating that you are sorry. but NOT that you feel bad for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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ok, I'll do that later today. She is having a hard time w/ secondary infertility, and I got pregnant, then preg again really fast. I wouldn't have intentionally hurt her feelings for the world [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 AM Flag
[ - ] NY Schools Moms, newbie here. I am not zoned for a good ps and am not financially healthy enough to send dd to private. I have a few years, but should we look to move to good zoned area or is there a good chance she'll get into some program? What do you do if you're not accepted?? All of the recent posts have gotten me thinking. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 06.16.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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how old is your child? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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op, going on 1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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Then it is WAY too early for you to move anywhere if you are basing the decision on schools. The zones may be redrawn by the time your dc is set to go to K. FWIW, D2 seems to have the best schools. But wait until its closer to make move. Just enjoy your wee one for now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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thanks! can't help but feel the anxiety, it's viral on this board! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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you should unsubscribe the NY School Boards and enjoy the toddler or New York City board for a while instead. Tune in when your kid turns 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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honestly, you shouldn't even be on this board. You would enjoy your life much more! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:38 AM Flag
[ - ] For kids trying to get into a school out of zone & have to do a Placement Exception Request do they consider in-district kids first? This is new, so not public anywhere &, of course, I can't get through DOE. Had to do this for PS 10 in Brooklyn, while last year they just let school let in whomever. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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The rules definately changed from last year. As I understand it, they don't allow children to cross district lines anymore. But, call to verify and get someones name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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the rules change from one year to the next. Insideschools.org usually has very good information on this sort of stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I feel bad that I am going to call up PS150 and withdraw my DC from next year's Kindergarten? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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Not at all. You are going to make a family on the waitlist really, really happy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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np: this is what i figure when I call 234 and tell them my dc isn't coming - the school will be thrilled; we still have mixed feelings but we will got g/t route [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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234 is a different beast. it is a neighborhood school. for 150 we explicitly applied, accepted, and registered. we even attended the orientation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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i know exactly what 150 is as we applied there too - just saying a lot of these schools expect this and will be happy when the dust settles and they know who is really coming [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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We will be doing that with PS87 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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They don't care. There are plenty of wonderful kids who want the spot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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they will get ticked off, but who cares? you're done. you got Nest...just hope Nest works out for your DC, casue won't be welcomed back at 150 unless it is in your zone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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wow. somebody put my old post back in front. I have nothing to do with the other PS150 poster here. We decided to keep PS150. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 10:16 AM Flag
[ - ] we moved into our house in january, and i like it but don't love it so i'm always keeping my eye out for others. crazy to even thinking about selling & buying a new one so quickly? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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I am a broker but I would always rent before buying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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what do you mean? you mean when moving one house to another? you'd rent in between buyings? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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yes esp if I were moving to a new community. I want to learn the lay of the land and the variables of each micro-neighborhood before I commit - plus I have a core list of items I cannot settle on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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i'm totally interested that a broker would say this? i always think of brokers as selling the advantages of buying. but i agree, we bought in this new community before i think we were ready. though it also seemed weird to go from owning in nyc to renting again, don't really know why. we just felt tied to the idea of owning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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Broker here: when I bought I didn't trust anything my realtor told me so I know most people need on-the-ground experience to get the best results. Since happy people who trust me are the best customers it works out for everyone that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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i feel the same, been here a little over a year & want to move in 2 yrs, but it is what we could afford at the time.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Best for a week family vacation with 3 dcs? Nantucket, Marthas Vineyard or the Cape? Which town specifically? Thanks! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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def. Cape - much more to do. A little more honkytonk but many kids activities in Yarmouth area - beautiful in Chatham too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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How about Brewster? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:40 AM Flag
[ - ] for those of you in NYC who are hating the heat, i just want to give you some perspective from someone who moved from ny to no. calif, with cool summers. imagine walking outside right now and it being 50 degrees. sounds nice but only for about a minute and then it just seems wrong. it's summer for god sakes. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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Sounds good to me! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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actually, it is still Spring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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ohhh someone paid attention during science. june 21 right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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that is what I thought too but Wikipedia says June 20th. -or [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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But wont it be warm in a few hours? We lived East Bay and mornings and evenings were cool, afternoons were hot. 3 seemed to be the hottest time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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yeah, it will be .but still, i have to wear sweaters all summer. in some ways i know it's nice, but i also miss balmy warm mornings and nights [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 AM Flag
[ - ] where to stay in tuscany? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:20 AM Flag
[ - ] websites you visit every single day? me: gmail, nytimes.com, craigslist, UB 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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oh, and google, of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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ub, ub, ub, ub. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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what are you looking for on CL? Me? p/t jobs and furniture - looking for that elusive deal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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yep, same, exactly. and free stuff. i could sit there and hit refresh on that page for hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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there's something similar i think about CL and UB- the feeling that if you refresh, out of the clear blue, someone might have posted something juicy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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and - I include myself here - a lot of bored mommies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:30 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you think they have done away with 116 g&t for next year? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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I doubt it. The school is fighting to keep it even for next year (depsite what the DoE blueprint says). There is only class and, according to UB, at least 5-6 eligible siblings, so there aren't that many new 116 parents to post. I'm curious too, though, as it was our third choice behind Anderson and LL. 116 is our zoned school, so it was a tough decision b/n LL and 116, especially since there were many parts of 116 that I liked better than LL. DD was placed at LL and we're happy with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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Do you know anyone irl that has been placed there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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I know 1 sibling who ranked it first, so I assume she was placed there (but I haven't heard). I don't know of anyone else and I also haven't seen anyone post about it here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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If you hear anything about the sib, can you update here? I'm starting to think they decided not to have the class this year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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or: I will do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:36 AM Flag
[ - ] I am ADDICTED to Law and Order SUV. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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svu! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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oops, you are right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:18 AM Flag
[ - ] when did you start showing with #2? when did you have to start wearing maternity clothes? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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showing, 3 mos. maternity clothes, 4-5 months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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At about 3 months. #1 I didn't show until about 6months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Oh mister van, van, van - mister courier van - please drive up to me! These little children are waiting...for our G&T placement...oh mister van, van, mister courier van - please drive up to me! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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We still haven't got it either. It's driving me crazy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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np: Do you guys have doormen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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YES! I have been stalking him all morning...he is sick of me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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ditto - my doormen think I am crazy - i'm going home after lunch to check mail and check again; have the nanny on alert - it's maddening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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^ we finally got it. delivered by a guy in a small blue car late morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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Try emailing them or calling. The time for patience is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:28 AM Flag
[ - ] I have Cystic Acne on my chin and mutilated one of my pimples. Now I have a huge scab, dry patch, swollen etc etc (I know I should n't have). What is the best thing to put on this to soothe skin and avoid a bad scar?? Thanks 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.16.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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vitamin e [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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vitamin e oil. seriously, it's like maagic. you can buy it or just cut a capsule. but it smells a little weird, so be ready for that. it reallyw orks though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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vitamin e also helped me a lot when i was early BF and having issues and soreness [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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aloe vera [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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isn't that just for burns to soothe? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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Do Accutane - totally toally worth it, it will change your life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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If you can afford it I've found that a good facial person can really help with this. Also if you have any bactiban around it works well on these. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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You need to go to your derm and get a cortisol shot in the spot. Cystic acne can leave scars. The shot will heal it quickly.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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