UrbanBaby

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] So the Italian doctors claim that the virus is weakening significantly has been shot down by many doctors . I was so hopeful for a fleeting moment. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:08 PM Flag

me too [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:08 PM Flag

I am still hopeful. Much of Europe has opened up and they haven't had a second wave yet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:15 PM Flag

My whole family is in Italy and they have been enjoying extended family dinners in restaurants (20 people or less per group) for a few weeks now. They're in Naples and infections have continued to decrease daily. They had only one death in the past week of a nursing home resident. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:41 PM Flag

thats great to hear [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:42 PM Flag

I am hearing the same from the friends residing in Milan. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:48 PM Flag

I read that article and there was a lne that stuck out at me- something about how their nation was terrorized by being closed-- or something to that effect. It immedietley made me doubt what he was saying [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:16 PM Flag

Who is disputing it? People have been out and about, and the infections are going down. It’s kind of hard to argue with the facts. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:35 PM Flag

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/experts-dispute-reports-coronavirus-is-becoming-less-lethal/2020/06/01/8f8ace7c-a432-11ea-b619-3f9133bbb482_story.html [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:38 PM Flag

Thank you for posting the link. To me the article’s tone is more like it’s too soon to jump to conclusions, that no one knows... more of a cautionary tone - probably to prevent people from ditching basic protection... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:47 PM Flag

[ - ] Kid is currently in 4th grade at zoned public. Remote learning sucks and am worried about this continuing into next year. Considering packing up and moving somewhere outside of city so kid can have an in-person school year. How would admissions work for middle school come 6th grade? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:55 PM Flag

op: would hope to move back to city in time for in-person 6th grade. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:56 PM Flag

Your child has to be in the city in 5th grade. That’s when middle school process begins. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:06 PM Flag

But what if you arrive in the summer? You can't just not send your kid to school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:13 PM Flag

You can, but the most desirable schools will be full. What district are you in? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:32 PM Flag

if they move back for 6th she isn't excluded from sending hr kid to public school, they will just have more limited options. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:15 PM Flag

OP: Would I not be able to get into zoned middle? In district 2. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:16 PM Flag

Sure you could get into Baruch, Wagner, etc. but maybe not their SP programs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:36 PM Flag

OP: Are those programs going to even be around if no admissions testing/grade criteria? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:45 PM Flag

Good point not sure. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:55 PM Flag

I didn’t mean kids can’t go to school, but her child will have very limited options.n [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:35 PM Flag

I'm wondering the same. We are living in CT at our place here and would consider staying next year, but I have a 4th grader and a younger one. I wouldn't want to remove the 4th grader from the system if it disadvantages her in the middle school application process. I do wonder, if there will be some provision for 5th and 8th graders next year, considering that a lot of people are probably considering this very move. Also to answer your question below, I don't believe SP will exist if there's a move to lottery admissions, it would defeat the purpose. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:57 PM Flag

I don’t think there will be a provision for moving and coming back. That wreaks of entitlement. The optics would be bad. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:14 PM Flag

Yes, all the families who had the means to move get another advantage. Hmmm [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:20 PM Flag

OR: How do you see an advantage for us here? I wouldn't be looking for special treatment in the lottery, just to enter it - I'm still an NYC taxpayer. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:03 PM Flag

If you live in the district and zone, you should be able to apply for MS and resign the ES one. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:50 PM Flag

[ - ] When people say NYC used to be more gritty, is this what they mean? 70 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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New York City 06.02.20, 02:48 PM Flag

yes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:51 PM Flag

We will wax nostalgic about these days in 20 years [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:51 PM Flag

Not even close. New York was way grittier then. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:39 AM Flag

Not really, it's more like there was a lot of regular day-to-day crime and vandalism, not huge riots. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:53 PM Flag

+1 I grew up here. You were more alert, but there weren't the riots, more every day crime was higher and things were dirtier. Graffiti everywhere. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:27 PM Flag

No. The murder rate used to 7X what it is now. Cars were stolen by the thousands. There were entire neighborhoods you wouldn't go to even during that day. This is not like that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:07 PM Flag

This! My landlord use to say the police would not go into Bed Stuy at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:33 PM Flag

bingo [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.20, 09:09 PM Flag

No. The streets were dirtier and you wouldn't flash money in public, let alone a computer. But there was a bit less of a chasm between rich and poor, and I don't remember any riots between c.1968 and 1976. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:09 PM Flag

I remember before leaving the house to go to the subway I would put one subway token in one pocket with nothing else so when I had to take it out nothing else would be in my pocket. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:11 PM Flag

i miss tokens [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.20, 09:09 PM Flag

Did rich people live here in such numbers? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:15 PM Flag

Of course there were rich people; they tended to use the private schools & boarding schools. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:27 PM Flag

^^and people lived in their Park Avenue apartments; they weren't used for foreigners to park their money. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:28 PM Flag

OP here: I phrased this a bit sarcastically, but I guess I meant the general sense of unease, that people who lived here didn't feel particularly safe. I hope the past few days are a blip and that we're not trending in the wrong direction. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:14 PM Flag

More Americans are dead than American combat deaths in WWI, and people are walking in masks looking like "Journal of the Plague Year" - of course there's unease! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:16 PM Flag

np all very true but this is not specific to NYC. I am currently in the city and do not feel unsafe (during the day) compared to how things were back before 1994. Tons of graffiti, aggressive squeegy guys, sexual harassment by strangers. .. just to name a few things from the past [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:28 PM Flag

I agree: I could go for a walk in Central Park right now and feel safe. Of course, I would avoid crowds. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:34 PM Flag

exactly. Central Park was a mess before people pumped money into cleaning and restoring it. It was so unsafe too [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:36 PM Flag

It was safe enough during the day. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:40 PM Flag

Google photos of Central Park in the 70s and 80s, you'll be shocked. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:47 PM Flag

I saw it live back then. I remember it [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:05 PM Flag

Yes, there are parts of Central Park that you should never visit. And heaven forbid if you were caught in the park too early or too late in the day. Now I love my 5am morning runs. It is by far safer. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:25 AM Flag

I still feel safe now. A lot more than 30 years ago. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:18 PM Flag

Do you not feel safe now? I do. Granted I wouldn't go out at night now bc of the looting- but this is not a sustained way of life now in the city. Growing up here, there were subways you avoided, parks (like Madison Sq park, Washington Sq park) that you never walked into, etc etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:18 PM Flag

OP: I feel safe in my immediate neighborhood right this minute, but I have no way of knowing if the looting won't spread here too. Lots of high-end stores to loot. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:22 PM Flag

OP: I feel safe in my immediate neighborhood right this minute, but I have no way of knowing if the looting won't spread here too. Lots of high-end stores to loot. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:22 PM Flag

Morningside Park, Ft Tryon Park, Central Park north of the Met. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:45 PM Flag

Or the Ramble [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:40 AM Flag

I think it was less about feeling unsafe than accepting the fact that things would happen. $10 for "mug money" in your wallet/pocket, the rest of your cash in your shoe. Carrying your keys in your fist like brass knuckles after dark. Turning rings and tucking necklaces. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:33 PM Flag

^^ it was all very casual and just part of living here [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:33 PM Flag

this is accurate [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:43 PM Flag

forgot about tthose things. true [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:31 AM Flag

Yes I still carry mug money. When I lived in a midwestern city that was very racially divided and tense I also carried pepper spray and held my keys that way. I always check inside my car and underneath it when entering it from a parking lot or the street. All learned from the 90’s. And as my parents said - if someone wants your car / wallet - whatever - just hand it over and run. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:40 PM Flag

Yes but you had to be more alert, ready to respond. These days I can still walk around thinking about my chores and be blissfulOh lost in thoughts of my To-Do list without dedicating a portion of my brain to danger. I feel far more ease despite the riots. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:30 AM Flag

I think people just had to be tougher in general. Life has gotten so much more luxury-oriented, and technology has made life easier, particularly for New Yorkers. Nobody needs to know the subway map or directions, you can just look it up; you don't have to schlep groceries or laundry if you don't want to, there is more accessible delivery services (these used to only be for the rich); nobody fights over cabs anymore, because of ride share services. And so on. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:14 PM Flag

Right but there are so many more people and families battling school competition. If my DC want to do a museum event or summer camp in the city we have to log in the second it opens and hope to sign up. This was not the case in the 70s [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:27 PM Flag

It's part and parcel - as the city became less "gritty" and safer, MC and UMC families stayed and flourished (rather than retreating to the suburbs). Also, back then middle class families could afford to live on one income, so there was less of a need to rely on summer programs for child care. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:35 PM Flag

I have been here since the 70's . 70's through mid 90's we're really gritty and tough here. Now I feel much safer in the streets compared to that time. We never went outside on Halloween because teenagers would go out and throw eggs and threaten people . and this was on the UES even. Much much much cleaner and safer now compared to the true grit of NYC. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:25 PM Flag

This. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:31 AM Flag

you know how people complain that real estate in NYC is too expensive, and they envy people who bought in the 1970s and 1980s for a song and the brownstones are now worth millions? It was times like these when they bought! So stop talking about fleeing to burbs and buy some real estate! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:30 PM Flag

We are not there yet in terms of fear of living in the city. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:41 PM Flag

LOL real estate prices are going to CRASH in the city. Once that happens, sure, let's buy some real estate. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:04 PM Flag

There was a good PBS documentary about the Bronx in the 70's and the building fires https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/films/decade-of-fire/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:16 PM Flag

No, lol, I'm a native who grew up here, UWS in the 70s and 80s was very different, and I say that as someone who was mugged last year a block from my apartment in broad daylight. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:31 PM Flag

Yikes so sorry. I hope you weren’t hurt. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:42 PM Flag

Thanks, I'm ok, some dumb kid stole my AirPods. He was caught a couple of weeks later, fortunately someone suggested a diversion program where he could get counseling, etc., parole office asked me if I was ok with it and of course said yes, I was super mad but better to have a chance of changing the kid's life than a pound of flesh. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:04 PM Flag

That's so nice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:31 PM Flag

The UWS and upper Manhattan were so different. When I was a grad student we tried to stay on Broadway and never walk up Amsterdam. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:52 PM Flag

Totally different. I lived in the 80s west of Broadway, there were hookers on the Broadway corner of our street every night as soon as it got dark. They liked to stand in the doorway of the stationery store, because it had lights on all night, we'd see them if we went to the supermarket or something. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:06 PM Flag

late 80s, early 90s? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:46 PM Flag

Yes. This. I still live on the UWS still and it so different from then. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:33 AM Flag

It was much worse. Moved here in the 1980s. Cabs wouldn't cross 96th street. I remember people being shot in Tribeca and crack houses in Park Slope. There were rapists in the subway stations, so there were certain subway stops you would just avoid. Morningside Park not safe (I know there was a high-profile crime recently, but it's generally safe now). A ton of property crime and some "wealthy" blocks had private patrols. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:07 PM Flag

Not even close. This city was flat-out dangerous in areas that are now pretty posh, even today. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:56 PM Flag

this. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:55 PM Flag

yes. the subways in the 70s & 80s. Times square was a dead zone to ANYONE who wasnt a sex worker or lookig=ng to find one. drugs offered to you on every corner of the east village. you couldnt walk on Ave B until the mid-1990s. Cracks me up because i lived there as it transitioned into a trendy avenue [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:30 AM Flag

Agreed. I was mugged, had flashers, once missed my stop and was scared because I was headed to a bad area (I was 16) , threatened with death, etc. I live in the same neighborhood and it is SO MUCH SAFER!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:37 AM Flag

When I married Dh and moved to NYC in 2000 he wouldn't leave a single item in his car. Still traumatized by past decades. Until this month, he'd leave instruments, bags, whatever in his car in broad daylight. Yes he's a weirdo who has his own car in NYC and drives it everywhere. I can't stop it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:17 PM Flag

I wouldn't do that either, to this day and in any city. You are asking for trouble. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:57 PM Flag

Does anyone remember Curtis Sliwa's Guardian Angels? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:00 PM Flag

lol yes. and his then wife lisa sliwa. the red berets they would wear. occasionally u would see them on the subway. The whole Goetz thing [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:31 AM Flag

I remember seeing them on the subway in the late 80s. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:39 AM Flag

Did you know the current Queens district attorney is the mother of Sliwa’s children? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 02:12 AM Flag

I forgot all about that. I thought she was gay but there were rumors of her with Alan Hevesi. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:41 AM Flag

Put it this way, that nice area around the 72nd St subway station now by Grey's Papaya? That was called Needle Park. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:36 PM Flag

See the movie! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:07 AM Flag

^ https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067549/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:10 AM Flag

Sherman Square [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:07 AM Flag

kind of. i grew up here in the 70s & 80s. there was the blackout of 77, there was TON of crime in central park. the pandemic is pushing this to a new level though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:28 AM Flag

It was so bad that when Tricia Meili was attached, there was another attacker who came along and made it even worse. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:31 AM Flag

[ - ] Whole grains - foundation of a healthy diet or bane of dieter's existence? What say you, UB? 54 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:31 PM Flag

the only diets that have ever worked for me are low carb diets [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:32 PM Flag

Same for me [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:49 PM Flag

I can lose weight eating them, but YMMV [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:40 PM Flag

It's the "YMMV" that I wonder about. I added more whole grains to my diet after reading "How Not to Die" but they don't seem to be doing my waistline any good. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:06 PM Flag

added them but no other dietary changes? i wouldn't expect that to work. for me its instead of white flour or white rice. I find getting a lot of fiber is important. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:20 PM Flag

What’s wrong with them? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:48 PM Flag

Some people say they gain weight while eating them. Others seem to lose weight. Just wondering what the UB moms think. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:52 PM Flag

The UB moms think you you should eat between 3p-6p, no carbs, no fruit, no alcohol [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:57 PM Flag

Don't forget animal products. No animal products. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:06 PM Flag

np. so basically eat lettuce? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:12 PM Flag

I think celery and asparagus with olive oil are fine, too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:28 PM Flag

I am one of the people who gain tons of weight from whole grains [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:50 PM Flag

I don't feel good when I eat carbs. I love them, they taste delicious. They make me lethargic and they don't help my weight. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:22 PM Flag

Just watch your caloric intake, and balance sugar and fiber. "Whole grains" are not created equal - I mean, it's now a marketing term added to Froot Loops. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:22 PM Flag

Sorry, but just watching the calorie intake does not help everyone. I lose weight on a high-calorie low-carb diet and gain weight on a restricted-calorie diet with increased amount of carbs and fruit. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:51 PM Flag

Obviously there are many other variables (activity, benefits of certain foods and nutrients to your metabolism, etc.), but broadly speaking, assuming that someone keeps their activity level the same, if they normally consumed 2000 cals per day and switch to 1200 cals a day, there will be weight loss. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:03 PM Flag

Wrong again. I have been doing intense cardio and weights and have gained weight on a diet with less than 1200 calories. I quickly lost weight when I switched to a low carb diet, while increasing my calories intake. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:27 PM Flag

Famine mode? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:35 PM Flag

I don’t understand your comment. I said when remove all carbs except for green vegetables, I lose weight. At the same time, I increase my calorie intake by eating lots of nuts and lean protein, so i am certainly not starving. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:41 PM Flag

No, you were saying that when you drop to 1200 calories you GAIN. I was asking if that was your body going into famine mode. Not trying to be aggressive, just curious and looking to learn. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:21 PM Flag

No way you gain weight eating 1200 calories a day. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:28 AM Flag

Maybe you should read Jon Gabriel. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:56 PM Flag

Thank you for your suggestion. I will take a look. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:41 PM Flag

This made me chuckle. In the question, I really meant real whole grains - plain brown rice or minimally processed oatmeal - not fruit loops. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:55 PM Flag

Neither. It doesn't really matter what you eat, so long as it is not over processed. It matters how much you eat. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:24 PM Flag

That has not proved true in my own experience, but I am not speaking in general. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:28 PM Flag

That’s like the science from the 50s. What matters is what food you eat. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:52 PM Flag

yes but people were not as obese in the 50s [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:18 PM Flag

People did not eat/drink so much junk back then [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:42 PM Flag

It's the science of the 2020's. Fad diets (gluten free, sugar free, grain free, raw food, blood type, meat free) have proven to be psychological and have nothing to do with physical weight gain. Calories in/calories out. Of course, different people can trick themselves into doing different psychological things with how many calories they consume, but if you consume a certain number of calories, your body is going to react the same, no matter where those calories come from. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:35 PM Flag

I'm a vegan who has wrestled with this a long time and think the whole grains should be largely avoided. I feel and look my best with HUGE amounts of greens, fruit, all vegetables and a spare serving of beans/seeds daily. Whole grains maybe once or twice a week. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:56 PM Flag

^ Our bodies run on glucose. Glucose is most easily digested in fruits and vegetables. I just keep eating this and keep losing weight, getting compliments on my skin (otherwise untouched), and having low brain fog in my 50s due to this diet. Oh and I'm thin for the first time in my adult life. Been doing it five years. I eat a shit-ton of food. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:57 PM Flag

What is a sample day for you? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:32 PM Flag

Breakfast: four or five frozen bananas and acai or dark cherries blended. Add maca powder. Put hemp seeds (or any seeds)and tons of fresh berries/shredded coconut on top. I drink fresh orange juice a few hours later. Lunch: huge salad of tahini and lemon dressing with fresh greens, a giant sweet potato, chick peas, roasted beets, tons of fresh spinach or greens. Snack: another sweet potato or a giant bowl of sweet cherry tomatoes. Glass of lemonade with honey and mint (blended with ice). Dinner: minestrone soup or "the stew" or any soup/salad. I also eat oysters and clams (some vegans do) -- but my go-to is simply fresh roasted vegetables like asparagus, fennel, cauliflower. Toss some seeds or tahini sauce. I try to stay 90/10. That's 90 percent plants, 10 percent oils (seeds, olive oil) for best weight loss. For maintenance I move that to 80/20. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:42 PM Flag

That sounds like a low- calorie diet. A giant bowl of sweet tomatoes fills your stomach, but barely has any calories. Also, it does not sound healthy - where is protein? A few chickpeas are not going to solve it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:09 AM Flag

+1. If you ate 3 snickers bars, your results would be the same. Your health is largely genetic. Do you roast vegetables every other day? I tried that for a while, but I felt like I was non-stop shopping for, preparing, roasting, storing, and throwing out rotting vegetables. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:39 PM Flag

Thank you SO much for this - I really needed to hear it. I don't want to hear it bc I want to keep eating oatmeal etc. But it feels right. I'm glad you have found it sustainable. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:32 PM Flag

Yes it's sustainable and I just make sure I eat a ton. I use frozen bananas as a grain/bread substitute: so instead of oatmeal do an acai and four frozen bananas bowl with some hemp seeds and fresh berries on top. It has the same fullness feeling of oatmeal. I will eat a sandwich once a week when I crave bread (or a vegan pizza) but I save it for a treat. Good luck to you! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:36 PM Flag

Thank you again! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:39 PM Flag

Good luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:44 PM Flag

Many women can't eat bananas daily due to menopause. Something to do with potassium affecting iron? You're lucky it hasn't caused you problems. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:40 PM Flag

Oatmeal is literally the healthiest food you can eat. It shouldn't "feel right" not to eat it. Ask any doctor, personal trainer, nutritionist. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:47 PM Flag

I am pre-diabetic and would literally die on this diet. 5 or 6 bananas sounds like a lot of sugar. Maybe this way of eating works for some people, but it would fail as a mainstream diet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:44 PM Flag

+1, that is a lot of sugar. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:51 PM Flag

I challenge you to get your bloodwork done. Follow this diet for six months. Get your bloodwork done again. You will have blood sugar levels of a teenager. Happens to most who do it. But don't believe me! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:44 AM Flag

^ and I was pre-diabetic five years ago and this diet made it possible for me to avoid meds [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:44 AM Flag

That's awesome! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:47 PM Flag

Too much glucose in your diet leads to diabetes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:45 PM Flag

Naturally occurring glucose DOES NOT lead to high blood sugar: the opposite. You need to do your research on this before spouting off dairy- and meat-marketing tropes. Most vegans who eat mostly raw fruits have literally perfect blood work. Google and WebMD is your friend. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:43 AM Flag

I don’t need Google or WebMd - I speak with real Drs who advise me on these issues. You clearly have no idea of basic science behind nutrition, so please stop. Speak with any diabetic about what happens to him/her after eating a couple of bananas. But wait, you have google for that!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:47 AM Flag

I eat whole grains for sure. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:29 PM Flag

I think you have to see what works for your body. Note how you feel after eating lots of grains. Some people handle it fine. Also, many breads are not 100% whole grain, so you may think you're eating whole wheat bread, but look at the ingredients, or make sure it says "100% whole grain". [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:39 AM Flag

Thanks. As I responded earlier, I really do mean "whole grain." I find them energizing in the moment, honestly, but I think they must be fattening over time or something. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:46 PM Flag

Weight gain is calories in and calories out. Get a calorie counting app and eat within the calories and you will lose weight. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:14 PM Flag

[ - ] IF moms: my weight loss has plateaued for a couple weeks after slow and steady losing and then gone back to losing? I'm in my late 40s, so I'm not expecting super fast loss, but hate to see the scale stuck for weeks. I'm still significantly overweight and feeling heavy for my frame. I'm not restricting calories/carbs in my window at all, and I have already lost a fair amount of weight this way. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:30 PM Flag

As have I. Partly due to not keeping desserts or bread in the apartment, partly due to loss of appetite due to stress and depression. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:36 PM Flag

Stress is inevitable right now, but I'm sorry to hear about the depression. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:27 PM Flag

Thank you, very kind. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:35 PM Flag

Mix it up. Switch to alternate day fasting. I think it helps to keep your body guessing. Do you have a lot to lose or a little. The closer you get to goal, the slower it comes off. I also like doing water fasts for a couple days. But that's just me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:22 PM Flag

I have lost a lot but still have a long way to go. Thank you for this advice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:27 PM Flag

Np: agree with above poster. You have to shock your body. You can either add exercise if you haven’t been or change your IF you’re or cut calories even more. Gl! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:04 PM Flag

[ - ] anyone else worried about a second wave due to the riots / protests, and/or Cuomo delaying the phase 2 in NYC (either because of fear or retribution)... 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:05 PM Flag

not really. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:06 PM Flag

yup. No doubt will happen. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:06 PM Flag

Quarantine ended when the protests began. We just have to wait and see how this plays out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:10 PM Flag

No, no matter what there was going to be a second wave. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:12 PM Flag

This! I see people in the park not SD any more, there were parties for MD weekend, beach visits. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:25 PM Flag

+2 the speed in which the masks were removed is, frankly, shocking. Meanwhile, I'll lace up my "muzzle" every time I go out. It's a respect thing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:41 PM Flag

I am very confident there will be a 2nd wave. I am not worried about it because I am not going out as SIP ends. If I'm wrong, the worst thing I've done is spent a few fewer nights getting $26 cocktails. The upside of being right far outweighs the downside of being wrong. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:13 PM Flag

+1 Me too. Just waiting and watching. Let other people experiment. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:18 PM Flag

same. let others go out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:08 PM Flag

+2 I love my craft beer, but I don't get this. Buying an expensive cocktail for the privilege of drinking it elsewhere out of a plastic cup is not relaxing or fun. I'll buy my beer and drink it on my terrace, thanks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:34 PM Flag

+3 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:34 PM Flag

No distancing, crowds of protestors without masks and worse if there's coughing and spitting due to tear gas. I'm staying the heck away from the protests and we'll check the data as it appears. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:30 PM Flag

Exactly. There is a whole piece in the times about superspreading events and how a small percentage of infected people account for a majority of the spread. This is undoing all of our hard work and sacrifice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:37 PM Flag

I saw that article: it would be a darn shame if this undid the last 2 months of flattening the curve. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:39 PM Flag

I will [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:46 PM Flag

*it will [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:47 PM Flag

I don’t think it will be as bad because so many people are still social distancing and wearing masks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:55 PM Flag

PP - With all due respect, I'm seeing fewer and fewer masks in Central Park. I'll keep my "muzzle" on and make a statement. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:11 PM Flag

Your chances of getting it in Central Park are very low. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:38 PM Flag

I know, but it's a courtesy thing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:44 PM Flag

I get that but it’s going to be harder the hotter it gets. I want people to wear them when they go into stores - outside, I can avoid people much easier. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:45 PM Flag

Not necessarily: IME cloth is more comfortable than paper and doesn't smell as bad. And you can throw it in the laundry. That's another advantage to my snug lace-on mask: not only can't I absent-mindedly slip my fingers underneath, it's harder to pull it off my face. That's why I half-jokingly call it my "muzzle". [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:48 PM Flag

many many of the protesters are wearing masks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:54 PM Flag

This - and even more now because they go into it knowing there is tear gas [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:00 PM Flag

+2. They walked on our street, I was surprised by how many were wearing masks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:39 PM Flag

Unless there is a massive spike in cases he will not do that. People are done with lockdown and all it would do is lead to more protests. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:53 PM Flag

Yes, seems inevitable [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:57 PM Flag

No. Cuomo even said that numbers are on our side here. Going into the protests, rates are WAY down, so the likelihood of having tons of asymptomatic people walking around are much less than several months ago. And even though there are thousands gathered, it's a drop in the bucket compared to the millions and millions of people who are normally out and around when subways, businesses and schools are open - a drop in the bucket, really. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:59 PM Flag

this [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:02 PM Flag

I am more worried about you know who sending us the army to contain things. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:31 PM Flag

I don't think someone has the guts to do that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:50 AM Flag

[ - ] Remote learning is killing us. Fourth grader is so distracted and bored. Help!!!! 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:03 PM Flag

Only 3 more weeks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:05 PM Flag

hopefully!!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:25 PM Flag

OP: Normally motivated kid is just phoning it in big time. When we try and intervene, WW3 breaks out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:09 PM Flag

My 4th grade DS has ADHD and has really struggled, too. Always fiddling with things around him. We are finished next week, thankfully. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:11 PM Flag

I hear ya. My high schooler is still taking it seriously because his grades count if he wants them too (and he does), but my middle schooler doesn't care. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:11 PM Flag

Same exact situation over here. Third grader begs, cries and screams to not do it. Meanwhile, when we focus and do it, it takes barely any time and is not hard. So I spend my entire day trying to convince him, without murdering him, all while juggling my work. I hate this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:15 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:23 PM Flag

Just power through. You can reevaluate in the fall. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:20 PM Flag

np: How so? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:23 PM Flag

op: yeah, what does this mean? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:24 PM Flag

Just do whatever to do to finish. Ignore, bribe, cajole. You can use the summer to figure out how to improve for next year. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:35 PM Flag

This! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:34 PM Flag

OP: Seriously thinking we SHOULD send him to private school if remote learning continues. Is private school remote learning much better? Public SUCKS. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:25 PM Flag

Private is better in every way, don't you know that? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:29 PM Flag

And Hunter! (Sorry, couldn't resist). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:32 PM Flag

LOL [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:35 PM Flag

I have no idea whether the remote learning at our private is any better than your program. I do know that my 3rd grader is not taking to it well AT ALL. He doesn't scream and cry but I spend the whole day figuring out what he's meant to do and then find out that he's either muted the class or used the chat function to speak with friends. It just seems like this age is not good for this. My 5th grader is doing a bit better but not much. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:33 PM Flag

A whole new set of rules is being written on the go; DD's public teachers were better than her private teachers, but it all depends on the individuals. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:35 PM Flag

I think it is school by school and not public vs private, but whatever. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:36 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:36 PM Flag

Depends on the private. Ours started off eh and has steadily improved to the point where if we have a mix of in and out of school this fall, I'll be OK with it. I also have a 4th grader. Fwiw, I know a teacher at another (more prestigious) private who says his school is doing an awful job. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:33 PM Flag

our private school is doing a good job. but still, I wouldn't switch just for that reason. its over 50k a yr for the kids to be on iPads [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:48 PM Flag

Every teacher knows that June is not a high impact learning time. The kids are distracted in school, too. Thus all the assemblies etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:32 PM Flag

Exactly. June was basically babysitting when kids were in school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:09 PM Flag

(DD's third grade teacher had the decorations off the walls and was ready for summer at the beginning of May). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:48 PM Flag

LOL [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:45 PM Flag

Third grade can be a rough year, not kidding! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:57 PM Flag

It can be but I thought 5th was the worst of the elementary years. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:15 PM Flag

[ - ] I've been paying our cleaner since March. She asked me to buy her plane ticket home today because she can't afford to continue living in NYC area. I paid her weekly thinking she would return. I paid her weekly plus extra when asked. I said no to the plane ticket and she said her mother is dying and I need to pay her ticket or I'm pretry much an aeful person. What would you do? 89 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:38 PM Flag

I would buy the plane ticket. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:39 PM Flag

this [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:33 PM Flag

I would say no, you have been paying an employee, you are not responsible for her entire life. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:42 PM Flag

This....wtf. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:05 PM Flag

Correct. Also, doesn't she have other clients Che can go get money from? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:17 AM Flag

That’s awful on her part. I would not pay it. You didn’t even have to pay her for the weeks she didn’t work, now she expects more? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:44 PM Flag

And this is a one way ticket. She won't be returning. I'm not a bank to her. Our nanny and cleaner we've paid and I'm just done with it. PLUS, we're away until the fall if schools open. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:47 PM Flag

Certainly if she is not returning, there is no way she can reasonably expect you to pay for a plane ticket. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:56 PM Flag

are you OP? So have you paid till now? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:20 PM Flag

I think it depends on your relationship with her. Has she been a good employee for a long time? Or do you barely know her and she has only worked for you for a short while? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:48 PM Flag

Even if it were a great relationship, why does she feel entitled to a plane ticket from her employer? Or anyone? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:51 PM Flag

She has worked for us for 7 years. I have paid her well along with many, many extras. Many. The plane ticket is over the top to me. Plus, it's one way. Had I known she was leaving I wouldn't have paid her for 3 months. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:56 PM Flag

You did right by her and owe her nothing more. Just wish her well. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:01 PM Flag

no [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:53 PM Flag

If you like her and she's leaving for good and you can afford it, just buy it for her and wish her well. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:54 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:56 PM Flag

np- I wouldn't like her after the last exchange per the op. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:18 AM Flag

I guess if I had the money and had had a good relationship with her, I would do it. If you don't have the money, you're not an awful person. GL OP. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:54 PM Flag

Any goodwill that existed between OP and the cleaner was destroyed when the cleaner attacked OP for not paying for a ticket that she should have been saving up for when she was not working and still getting paid. Even if OP could afford it, it is reasonable for this to rub OP the wrong way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:14 AM Flag

Plane tickets are reasonable right now. Am guessing 2 of the 10 weeks you already paid her for would cover the cost [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:55 PM Flag

She said 750 to her country [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:06 PM Flag

Are you sure there are even flights going? Easy to check though [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:15 PM Flag

np- this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:18 AM Flag

That would be hard no for me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:02 PM Flag

OP: I just paid her rent on Friday. Now she wants 750 for a plane ticket. I'm going to say no. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:05 PM Flag

that is insane. Say no, I paid you when not working - she is an adult [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:06 PM Flag

You keep adding things you've paid for. Starting to smell fake, but either way just don't do it if you don't want to. What's the big deal? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:07 PM Flag

+1. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:17 PM Flag

OP: exactly. I have paid for things again and again. I have increased her pay 2x in the same year, I have given her "loans" that are never repaid and have paid her rent for the past 2 months. I have hit my limit on the plane ticket. And let her know. Haven't heard back yet [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:38 PM Flag

sounds like this person has taken advantage of you [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:50 PM Flag

Sounds like you are kind of a chump. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:39 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 07:04 AM Flag

She figured you have lot of gold and it’s not her then someone else will take advantage of her. Not only I will say no I will also ask her to return payment for last time if she is not returning. Stated you assumed extra s it’s to cover for the time and paid in advance. That’s why I paid mine only 50% as retainer and told she can get rest upon after return in installments if she keeps up good work. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:08 PM Flag

The rent was not mentioned earlier... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:56 PM Flag

wait what? you have been paying her fee for the last 3 months (which is the right thing to do, she could not work thru no fault of her own). and her rent too?? and now she wants a plane ticket?? that is too much. you are not a bank or charity. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:17 PM Flag

I dont believe you unless she has compromising info about you lol [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:48 PM Flag

This. Fake post. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:16 PM Flag

Where is she from that it costs $750 one way loo [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:48 PM Flag

Say no! That is insane and would definitely piss me off. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:15 AM Flag

She has totally abused you. This is hard no! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:06 PM Flag

Thank you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:07 PM Flag

This is how it ends with every single nanny or sitter we have had: You have the money, give it to me. I'm paying above market rate for the job, a job that requires 3 hours a day of your time. If you can't give me those hours, at this rate, you are free to refuse the job. That's it. I'm not here to be flexible for your schedule, I'm not here to bankroll your impromptu life emergencies. I am not here, I have now decided, to pay you full price for a job you aren't even reporting to, so if you can't accept a reduction for the time being, we are effectively done. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:07 PM Flag

and yes I realize this sounds cruel. But consider we also have been royally screwed over. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:08 PM Flag

ITA [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:24 PM Flag

Wow- this has never happened to me- I didn't realize how lucky I was. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:19 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:46 PM Flag

This. I’m going through this exact same thing now with our long-term nanny who is asking for a huge increase (50% more) to come work for us in our second home that is an hour and a half away. She refuses to isolate with us and wants us to drive her back and forth every week even though she owns a car, and she says she can only work Wed-Sat all of a sudden. I don’t even need her on weekends, but she is telling us “I need the money badly and cannot work other days”!?! I feel taken advantage of. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:05 AM Flag

I think you should mention that you feel she is trying to take advantage of you. I'm very sorry you have to deal with this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:08 PM Flag

this x1,000. BTW we had a nanny we paid for such emergencies and she ended up suing us in the end... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:10 PM Flag

Because when you are so generous they feel you have a lot extra to share with everyone. Guilt level goes down and resentment builds up. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:11 PM Flag

I've been paying our housekeeper since March as well. If she asked for a one-way ticket to see her dying mother, I would pay it because she has worked for us for years and we have a very trusting relationship. That being said, if she were someone else, I wouldn't feel bad saying no. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:11 PM Flag

+1. OP, I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. I would feel extremely frustrated. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:21 PM Flag

First text was plane ticket. 2nd text was dying mother. Always something [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:39 PM Flag

she's lying [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:06 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:47 PM Flag

OP: thank you for responding. I really appreciate it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:11 PM Flag

Omg just reading this post made me angry. Absolutely no. I have been out of work since covid. My business may never reopen. Nobody continued to pay me and I would NEVER ask for something like this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:53 PM Flag

You’ve done a lot for her already. If she didn’t guilt trip you then I might have but it’s awful what she wrote to you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:53 PM Flag

not OP but - our sitter also tried to guilt trip us and that's when I decided to fire her. DH was straight up with her that we were facing major salary cuts. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:23 PM Flag

Just awful. I think all of you who continued to pay them went above and beyond. I can’t believe some of these people had the nerve to guilt trip you and demand any money. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 05:09 AM Flag

Of course you say no. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:59 PM Flag

of course you have no obligation and you are not a terrible person. But if you want to do it as an act of charity you get bonus points. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:10 PM Flag

Not for someone who is trying to emotionally blackmail you for calling you awful for what you have already done. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:13 PM Flag

We just ran across a similar situation, say no, remind her that you have paid her wages even though she has not worked for 3 months and you paid her rent, that you cannot give her more money and that you are terribly sorry her mother is dying, but that you will not be giving her the money and that you are also looking for a new house cleaner. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:13 PM Flag

how much were you paying her per week?If you were going to keep paying her (and her rent!) I would give her the plane ticket to be done with her completely. But would be outraged. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:17 PM Flag

Poster below: I completely disagree. What gives you the impression that "giving her the plane ticket" ends this? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:38 PM Flag

This is insane. INSANE! Why is her ability to afford living in the NYC area your fault? And why on earth has she come to believe it's your fault? She's your cleaner. I'm impressed you paid her weekly, never mind "extra when asked" !? If my cleaner told me I "need" to do anything, she'd be met with permanent radio silence. What you need to do is not utter another single word. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:37 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:14 PM Flag

We support you! You are absolutely correct in saying “no.” [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:14 PM Flag

You sound like you have guilt over employing household help. You need to get a grip and some boundaries. Signed, mom who has had the same housekeeper for 11 years and the same nanny for 9. Boundaries. Kindness. Boundaries. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:32 PM Flag

Are you paying her under the table? Are you payroll taxes and deducting unemployment? If not don’t try to be morally superior now. She would have gotten unemployment plus 600 if she was being paid legally [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:46 PM Flag

It’s not being morally superior. It’s about dealing with someone who is gaslighting you. It’s one thing to ask for money and it’s another to tell her she is awful person if she doesn’t pay. No, it’s not op who is awful it’s cleaner who is trying to emotionally blackmail her. In a case op didn’t pay unemployment taxes then cleaner also didn’t pay taxes on her earnings. This goes both ways. No one should try to guilt trip someone else for their personal advantage. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:19 PM Flag

np. Op would not have to keep paying if her cleaner could file for unemployment. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:34 PM Flag

That’s why I think she didn’t pay by books. Still cleaner should NOT be allowed to emotionally blackmail her. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:11 PM Flag

Is she full time? If so, she could have saved up her own money by now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:47 PM Flag

wow, that is terrible. You did the right thing by paying her up till now, but she is just being manipulative now. I would not give her more. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:56 PM Flag

No. I wouldn’t be paying [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:00 PM Flag

She is probably my getting money from all of her employers [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:01 PM Flag

NP: Can you afford to be kind and generous? Then do so. The world could use some kindness and generosity today. Let it be a gift. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:31 AM Flag

That would be lovely. Of course you don't have to do anything for her, but you can change her life for the better. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:51 AM Flag

I really don't like this response. It's often the blanket response. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:21 AM Flag

You should not have to pay for her inability to save. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:21 AM Flag

Forget principals right now. How much is your guilt worth? If you're going to feel twinges of guilt for years and years, maybe parting with $750 and being the bigger person in this will be entirely worth it. She isn't coming back. If you can afford $750, I'd do it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:59 AM Flag

don't be guilty op. this is ridiculous. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:21 AM Flag

Absolutely not in this situation. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:25 PM Flag

I don't think it is a matter of guilt. We're all talking about income inequality, the financial struggles of the pandemic...here's a direct way to make a difference...so just do it, and be grateful that you are in the position to do so. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:04 PM Flag

just say no to manipulation [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 07:05 AM Flag

What race is she? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:09 PM Flag

She is taking advantage of you and I would not buy the plane ticket. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 05:16 PM Flag

[ - ] Is there anywhere to get reliable numbers on the areas that reopened early? I know Georgia's numbers were not accurate for a while but dont know about now for the other areas. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:35 PM Flag

This website has lots of info. https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:58 PM Flag

[ - ] Does anyone have any thoughts/experience with Greenwich Country Day? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:32 PM Flag

We beat them in lacrosse in 1995. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:33 AM Flag

[ - ] Dds school is having a meeting with the dc to discuss the riots, but they’re doing two separate meetings - one for students of color and another for students that don’t identify as students of color. I understand why the school may want to have separate meetings, but it really shouldn’t be this way. Thoughts? This is the first time I’m feeling that the schools response is off. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:28 PM Flag

Yes, this sounds sketchy. I'd ask the school what is going to be different in these two assemblies. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:39 PM Flag

I actually think that it may make sense. White kids and white parents need to put themselves in question without the need for students or people of color to "explain" to them how bad racism is and how much the pain is. White folks need to do this on their own. Such separate meetings would protect students of color emotionally while allowing for a more explicit and forceful discussion with white kids. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:41 PM Flag

We are one of very few families of color at our school and I would not be happy if they did this. I would want to know what they were telling the white families and why they felt the need to segregate a discussion. It's the opposite of what they should be doing right now so I would definitely speak up and tell that that that is not the way to go about this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:09 PM Flag

Thank you for sharing this perspective. My (white) perspective would have been that black children in the school should not have to bear the burden of white fragility - that will surely arise - in a discussion like this. I can just imagine white students trying to "relate" or much worse. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:03 PM Flag

I don't think there's anything wrong with white student trying to "relate," even if they get it wrong. That's the point of these discussions, especially with kids who may not even understand their own prejudices or privilege yet. How will they ever learn if schools as well as parents aren't fostering these discussions. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:43 PM Flag

Op: exactly [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:35 PM Flag

Op: also one of the few families of color and that’s how I feel exactly. Now is the time to have these conversations with everyone. The kids will all learn from each other. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:33 PM Flag

I'll ask again: what school, OP??? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:57 PM Flag

Op: sorry but not outing the school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:06 PM Flag

No, that is not appropriate at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:24 PM Flag

What school is this? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:05 PM Flag

It has to be either ECF or R. Remember the "affinity groups"? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:10 PM Flag

I don't hear OP's denial. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:19 PM Flag

I am not the OP, but I wouldn’t feel right IDing the school. What does it matter, anyway? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:07 PM Flag

Because people who make things up tend to skimp on the details. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:45 PM Flag

If they are lying about other things, why wouldn’t they just make up a school? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:49 PM Flag

Actually, are you the same poster who kept asking for the MP OP’s minority status yesterday? What if they had been Rohingya? Asian? Muslim? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:49 PM Flag

I would want the school to follow the desires of the black families in the school. If they want a private discussion for their children with a black moderator, they should get it. By the way, this is a time that "people of color" does not make sense as the distinguishing feature - this is a very different situation for Black and Afro-Latinx students than it is for Asian or white Latinx students. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:09 PM Flag

Why do you see this as a problem? These two groups of kids are going to experience all this in very different ways and probably need very different support from their school this week. Later it will be time for kumbaya [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:24 PM Flag

Op: I don’t see it as a problem, but more a missed learning opportunity. Now is the time for the school to have these hard and frank discussions with the entire student body. White dc can learn from the black dc and vice versa. The school is taking the safe and easy route imo. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:45 PM Flag

The black dc have very little to learn from their white classmates in this situation and the white kids should be brought up to a basic level of understanding before they ask people to pour knowledge into them for free. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:20 PM Flag

Op: I disagree. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:34 PM Flag

I think that is perpetuating the mentality that people are different and have to be dealt with differently. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:27 PM Flag

is this a private school or public school? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:29 PM Flag

np: same question here. has to be private right? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:56 PM Flag

Has to be. Public wouldn't waste time with this nonsense. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:57 PM Flag

Op: private [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:06 PM Flag

Apalling IMO. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:44 PM Flag

Our private isn't doing a good job with this, either. They're not separating kids but they are addressing the crisis in vague terms that are leaving the younger kids very aware that the teachers are stressed but that's about it. I don't think they should tackle it remotely in lower school at all, personally. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:55 PM Flag

It make sense to me. There is one side that has been on the receiving end of discrimination and another that has been perpetuating it. These are two very different talks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:58 PM Flag

that's odd. my dc's high school had a great discussion today and all dc's were involved. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:32 PM Flag

[ - ] Are you for having all MS and HS going lottery next year? Are you against that? Email your thoughts: enrollmentfeedback@schools.nyc.gov 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:15 PM Flag

Well, a a white family we've been trying to look at all the social dynamics and personal strategies that led to both our kids being in very desirable and not very diverse Manhattan public schools. We had interesting and difficult discussions with our kids. Not sure about a lottery per se, but something has to be done, now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:45 PM Flag

"as a" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:45 PM Flag

OP that's cool. My kids have always been in title 1 schools. white kids are about 6-8%. I won't send them to a failing hs. stakes are too high [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:45 PM Flag

HOw is the DOE pushing for this when that would mean having to provide transportation to all these kids going to faraway schools? They already hate paying for busing, from what I hear. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:52 PM Flag

DOE does not need to provide transportation for this age group. HS you get a metro card. MS you get a metro card except in 6th grade some MS provide yellow bussing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:20 PM Flag

WHO, do you think, is paying for those metrocards? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:00 PM Flag

yes i realize the DOE is paying for all those metrocards. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:52 PM Flag

It should be about 1 teacher with 30 kids teaching to some who are above grade level while others need extra help. Kids should be grouped by level! Does not matter to me if it’s grouping within 1 school or across schools. But there should be some sort of tracking, and not based on the 200 lucky 4 yr olds that get g&t after much prepping while many others get nothing and are equally qualified [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:01 PM Flag

THIS [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:09 PM Flag

This. How can they not address the issues with G&T? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:35 PM Flag

x1,000. I have 2 very different kids and can see why tracking is needed. One is way ahead and needs to be challenged. The other one is behind in certain subjects and needs extra help, which I provide for now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:19 PM Flag

[ - ] Today I have heard of a few schools and businesses giving people of color a day of “pause”. So a day off to reflect on what has happened. Everyone else has to work. How do people feel about this? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:59 PM Flag

Works for me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:05 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:58 PM Flag

+2 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:33 PM Flag

May 20th was the "Day Of Pause," an annual thing for everybody to disconnect from electronics. Today is "Blackout Tuesday," which is connected to the protests but is for anybody who wants to observe it. Here's Quincy Jones: https://www.instagram.com/p/CA1l2p-hKH6 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:06 PM Flag

More details in this image (no spam or other tricks): https://imgur.com/a/1MWX2YD [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:10 PM Flag

It seems to be specifically for the music industry, not everyone. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:17 PM Flag

All of the Entertainment industry, not just music. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:19 PM Flag

i'm getting notifications about it from a much wider variety of arts institutions. not just music. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:19 PM Flag

Solidarity. So many of us profit from black culture (music and entertainment industries specifically). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:32 PM Flag

How do you feel about it? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:07 PM Flag

I think her wording made it pretty clear. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:26 PM Flag

Look, anything that will help people catch their breath around this week is good with me, but I'm not really sure what you are talking about. What schools? What businesses? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:12 PM Flag

My company is doing this (entertainment industry). We are having several informal (voluntary) breakout sessions to discuss what we can be doing better as an organization. We are also all being encouraged to do whatever we can to help the cause (solicit donations, protest, clean up, volunteer, sign petitions, shop from black owned businesses, speak with our kids about civil rights, argue with an old lady shouting "all lives matter!" on Facebook) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:29 PM Flag

Also to clarify, the day of pause is NOT for people of color - it is for ALL of us to pause and reflect on what we can do. For some it is action. For some it's working on your own internal shit. OP, sounds like you could use a day like this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:36 PM Flag

*not JUST for POC, that is [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:36 PM Flag

We are a media company, so pause for us as a company means not creating or posting any new or irreverent content EXCEPT for things that highlight or promote the current issues and BLM. As individuals, by going black on social media, we free up room for those messages as well. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:31 PM Flag

[ Removed by moderator ] [ More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:34 PM Flag

As long as it's a real day, and not just "but you still have to get everything done by the next day" kind of pause. It is not appropriate for white people to claim that space right now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:41 PM Flag

It's for all employees, not just people of color [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:42 PM Flag

at my company and school- it is ONLY POC. ALL the other kids are expected to be in class/work. This strikes me as strange. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:11 PM Flag

So strange and so DESPERATELY unfair. Can you imagine a worse disparity in treatment? Oh, wait... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:28 PM Flag

Lol [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:40 PM Flag

That's very strange and seems antithetical to the cause. Black people already know wtf is happening and what they need to do - the rest of us need to reflect and educate ourselves. Similarly, on social media, the idea is to pause the posting and sharing of frivolous content (selfies, banana bread pics, cat memes, etc.) so that black voices can be amplified and messages about the current crises can rise to the top of the algorithm. If you're recognizing the day at all, having white people be business-as-usual defeats the purpose. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:32 PM Flag

^I say 'us" assuming you're not a POC, and apologies if I misrepresented you in that regard [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:33 PM Flag

[ - ] Has anybody else used HBO Max yet? We have, and the Looney Tunes cartoons are there. A couple hundred of them. But they also have NEW Looney Tunes cartoons that are just as good as the old ones! All of us here were laughing so loud the neighbor knocked to ask if we were okay. There's also all the films from the people who make My Neighbor Totoro. Plus Cartoon Network shows like Flapjack, Dexter's Lab, Steven Universe, and Powerpuff Girls. Movies like Iron Giant. Live-action shows like Fresh Prince. So many good things for my DC. They're really enjoying it! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:55 PM Flag

I would loooooove to find the Mickey Mouse VHS tapes I watched when I was a kid! There was one with a tornado and Mickey, and one about a giant. Anyone remember that? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:57 PM Flag

Mickey Mouse and his friends are on the Disney+ service. We have that one, too! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:58 PM Flag

https://www.disneyplus.com/movies/the-little-whirlwind/1rfBhtW19hrN [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:00 PM Flag

OMGGGGGGGGGG thank you. Complete flashbacks! And my DD is the same age as I was when I watched, this is amazing. Thank you thank you! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:04 PM Flag

You are WELCOME! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:11 PM Flag

Disney+ is fabulous for families. My kids love the old school cartoons, and we've also been discovering so many random kid/family movies from the 90s that I never knew existed (I'm 46, so was in single 20-something mode then). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:38 PM Flag

We have it because it’s free when you have HBO but not finding anything that interests us so far. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:24 PM Flag

Really? NOTHING interests you so far? We've got around 100 shows and movies on our playlist. TCM classics. Modern blockbusters. Musicals. Oscar winners. Godzilla. The Hidden Fortress (it inspired George Lucas when he wrote Star Wars). Fun TV shows like Whose Line, Impractical Jokers, and Robot Chicken. Adventure Time, including a new Adv. Time special coming that's exclusive to HBO Max. Doctor Who and its spinoffs, plus other BBC shows like Luthor. Superhero stuff like Wonder Woman, Shazam, Aquaman, and the Tim Burton Batman films. Classic Sesame Street, if your DC are young enough. And everything HBO, of course. There's really something for everybody. And no, I don't work for HBO or Warner. I'm just really really impressed. Except they don't have it working on my Amazon Firestick yet in the other rooms, so I can access it in the living room using my Apple TV box. :( [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:37 PM Flag

^ ...so I can only access it... (I meant to say) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:40 PM Flag

Jesus, what are you an employee of HBO. Calm down. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:04 PM Flag

agree - calm down. it's not that great. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:22 PM Flag

"There's really something for everybody. And no, I don't work for HBO or Warner. I'm just really really impressed." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:26 PM Flag

Lol! I think you have been cooped up too long. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:41 PM Flag

[ - ] I am feeling so overwhelmed by pandemic and riots. I can’t watch the news anymore because I sit there and cry. How are you ladies coping? Tia. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:50 PM Flag

I am fortunate to be in a position where I don't need to pay attention to the news. I can keep my head down and focus on my job and family. I think a lot about my friend who is a reporter, and has to deal with the news every single day. No escape. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:56 PM Flag

There are helicopters overhead when I try to sleep at night. There is no escape. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:06 PM Flag

Op: why do you say you don’t need to pay attention to the news? These riots are nationwide. Don’t you want to know what’s happening around you? That said, I’ve stopped watching the news because it’s making me anxious. These are such scary times. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:12 PM Flag

Not the above responder, but I don’t watch the news anymore. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:25 PM Flag

Op: I’ve had to do the same because of my anxiety. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:30 PM Flag

I say this with ... not love since I don't know you from Adam, but I say this with truly no rancor. You are very lucky that you can turn away from the news in order to take care of your anxiety. There are 1,000's of women who live not 3 miles from you who have to face it every day, all day, with no break. Not because they are reporters but because they are going out in the world or sending their children, husbands and brothers out into a very scary and dangerous world. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:22 PM Flag

Op: I’m a person of color and am deeply affected by this and deeply concerned about my dc so I need to keep myself together in order to keep my dc healthy during this difficult time. I am not watching the news but am choosing to read NPR only to keep myself informed. My brother lives not too far from where the looting and fires in the Bronx. He’s also still working outside the home. You shouldn’t make assumptions about posters. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:16 PM Flag

I check a local news website that covers just news from my town, but I'm in a suburb and we don't even have peaceful protests here, yet alone riots. It depresses me that there are huge riots in all of our big cities and I choose not to watch something depressing if I don't have to. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:26 PM Flag

This is a textbook example of priviledge [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:25 PM Flag

Call it what you will, I call it maintaining sanity. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:27 PM Flag

ITA. Choosing to remain silent when there is oppression is equal to siding with the oppressor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:27 PM Flag

Technically correct, but there are ways of speaking up that don't involve dangerous behavior during a pandemic. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:28 PM Flag

If OP "does not pay attention to the news" how is she aware of what is happening and speaking up? I agree we don't all have to be on the streets, that's what social media and online contributions are for. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:36 PM Flag

Oh, I absolutely agree that it's important to remain informed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:39 PM Flag

Op: I’m reading NPR, but no longer watching the news or videos of riots online. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:17 PM Flag

Ignorance is bliss. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:53 PM Flag

I'm feeling really overwhelmed and anxious too. I cried listening to Trump speak from the Rose Garden yesterday. He's basically declared war on us. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:36 PM Flag

He's scum, can't even bring himself to try to calm things down. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:55 PM Flag

Op: exactly....he’s inciting more hatred. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:11 PM Flag

What did he say? I only saw his photo-op which was very pathetic but didn't hear him speak. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:18 PM Flag

+1 I'm not sure he said anything. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:28 PM Flag

Not one thing to help soothe anyone or anything. They tear gassed peaceful protesters so he could walk across the street to a church and take a goofy picture holding up a bible. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:42 PM Flag

Crying helps; going outside (masked) helps; listening to my friends helps, and thinking about the possibility for change helps. Also, I really liked the Trevor Noah piece if you haven't already seen it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:00 PM Flag

Op: thank you [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:17 PM Flag

I read a lot; I'm putting on my mask and going out for walks; an evening glass of beer or wine on the terrace. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:18 PM Flag

I never watch the news--I read the literal paper and check headlines throughout the day online. That alone keeps my stress somewhat under control. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:31 PM Flag

^^^helps because the visuals and constant barrage of everything on the news is designed to agitate you and keep you hooked. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:32 PM Flag

[ - ] To the person who shared the experience of her law school friend who is now a sahm being mistaken at the playground for someone else- thank you- I hope that story sticks with me. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:19 AM Flag

Aww, that was me. My sleep is a mess these days, so I came back to check if anyone replied to me and I see that the whole post must have been deleted, but I'm glad you were able to read it before it was deleted. It really did hurt my heart when we had that conversation, bc I could see her frustration, but she always tried to be so nice bc she knew they weren't trying to hurt her, but I could feel her pain at not even being able to take a walk with her new baby without people asking how the mother was doing and asking her to pass on their congrats for the beautiful baby. If they stayed for more than a passing comment, she would explain that she WAS the mom and the women would look embarrassed, say they were sorry, and quickly walk away. I have fond memories of the early days at the parks and playgrounds with my newborns, when people would stop to look and we would have quick conversations about whatever. I just can't imagine her pain at the loss of those moments, only to be reduced to "the help" over and over again, to the point where she just avoided the parks and just stuck to walks where she tried to avoid eye contact. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:11 AM Flag

Hey, how about being mistaken for the grandmother instead of the mom? Happened to a few older moms I knew. I was also mistaken for the nanny of my kids - Asian here, kids are Eurasian. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:31 AM Flag

It happens. I was once doing the laundry late, and someone in the elevator asked me how long I'd been working in the building. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:02 PM Flag

Omg that is mortifying for them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:24 PM Flag

Haha, I had no makeup or jewelry and was probably wearing some variation of sweatpants & t-shirt, but yes, they looked as though they wanted the floor to open and swallow them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:39 PM Flag

Well at least they felt bad! I look like that on a normal basis, too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:40 PM Flag

(I look like that right now!) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:43 PM Flag

Ha ha me too [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:27 PM Flag

I once introduced myself to the woman taking my coat at a work party, thinking to myself - "I might have misjudged Tom, he has a very down-to-earth black girlfriend!" Then he started ordering her around and I was shocked, then I realized she was the full time maid. Then I realized he was being a real d-head to her even in the context of employer/employee. Sigh - I had not mis-judged him at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:26 PM Flag

Say what you will about having to wear a uniform when I nannied, I wasn't mistaken for my charges' mom! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:39 PM Flag

I missed the original post and it looks like it was deleted. Can you share what happened? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:14 PM Flag

One time I made the mistake of wearing an all black dress to a cocktail school event. I was mistaken as one of the caterers. Have learned my lesson not to wear all black. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:20 PM Flag

In NYC? Everyone wears black [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:26 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:48 PM Flag

My cousin's boyfriend and father of her child was mistaken for a waiter at a wedding - repeatedly, even though he was wearing a suit (waiters were in white shirt/black bow tie) and holding his daughter while chatting with people [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:26 PM Flag

He should have held out his hand for a tip. In my uniform, I was more than once mistaken for the school nurse, LOL [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:38 PM Flag

I tried to meet DH at his office to hand him something and was mistaken for a delivery driver. Non black minority. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:36 PM Flag

my male Asian colleagues have all reported getting mistaken for delivery people delivering food. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:53 PM Flag

[ - ] just started watching Handmaid's Tale right in time for f-ing quarantine! totally freaking out about the potential for loss of rights! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:59 AM Flag

It often feels like we are headed there [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:23 AM Flag

np: We're in those early scenes where our bank accounts haven't quite been liquidated yet and we really should have gone to canada. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:02 PM Flag

nnp. Yes! I kept thinning didn't they see this coming. And now I wonder are not seeing it? Should we exit while there is time (we EU citizens) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:28 PM Flag

pp: If you're EU, I'd leave. Well, I guess I'll wait till November to see if I should look into dual canadian citizenship. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:28 PM Flag

^^typing too fast, so many typos [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:37 PM Flag

+++ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:13 PM Flag

Well, the Point of Departure is human sterility, not a pandemic, but it's still my favorite Atwood novel. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:42 PM Flag

lol. I started it 2 nights ago. 4 episodes in; I'm definitely into it but also not sure if I should continue. So eery given the current time and scenes with pain-infliction are unbearable to me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:54 PM Flag

HA! And the masks! Eerie. It's a great show though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:42 PM Flag

[ - ] i am british and i find it shocking how much food americans waste. Like if we go for dinner with american friends or to weddings or houses for events - there is at least twice as much food as people will eat. I don't understand this - is it an unspoken rule? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:55 AM Flag

No, it's just that water seeks its level. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:56 AM Flag

Yes, Americans are 1) wasteful and 2) overweight from eating a lot more food than they need to. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:13 AM Flag

Very true. Everything is in excess here. Portions are double or triple what it should be. It’s terrible. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:15 AM Flag

Even the size of soda is double the size in Europe. No wonder obesity is rampant here [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:16 AM Flag

op - i can't handle it - i feel like i always say i'll take things to go at restaurants then end up with a fridge full of to go food that i never ordered and don't want and trying to feed it to my kids bc it feels like someone should eat it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:23 AM Flag

np: I order two appetizers in most restaurants. Smaller portions and you get two tastes. Or one app, split an entree with the friend I'm eating with. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:03 PM Flag

That is a lot of drama over leftovers [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:26 PM Flag

I agree that portions are too large at restaurants and people put out tons of food at events, but what you don't see is that in many cases the food doesn't go to waste. People take the leftovers and eat them later. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 01:32 PM Flag

It is a cultural thing too. People want to have enough food and variety and to not have enough makes you seem ungracious [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:24 AM Flag

op - i think in the uk it's the same thing but alcohol. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:31 AM Flag

This, I am always astonished by all the drinking in polite society, both the frequency and the amounts consumed, when I visit friends in UK. And especially the tacit practically universal acceptance of the subsequent drunk driving in certain circles. People actually boast about how skilled they are at driving while “tiddly” [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:18 AM Flag

NP: exactly. I'm American of British descent. Growing up, for family holidays we always had light food (sandwiches, etc.) but plenty of alcohol! My generation jokes that once we started marrying people of other ethnicities the food good better and more plentiful. In many cultures that influenced American it would be a great embarrassment to run out of food, just as it would be for an English person to run out of tea or alcohol to offer guests. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:21 AM Flag

Maybe alcohol is a balm for the awful food there. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:32 AM Flag

Yes, Americans think that "big" equals "good" or "beautiful". Not to the same degree everywhere across the country, but it applies to many things, food being a prominent one. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:49 AM Flag

I've had British friends tell me that American fruits and vegetables look so good and taste so bad. Also, I've heard that we use too much ice in our drinks. So it goes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:00 PM Flag

True. Ice water is so bad for you yet the restaurants blast a/c so it’s freezing and the water is filled with ice so you’re freezing during meals. I hear other people from different cultures say the same thing about the fruit! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 12:17 PM Flag

Ice water is NOT bad for you, but if you order a drink in Europe you'll get an ice cube. Not a glass of ice with the liquid added. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:20 PM Flag

What is bad about water with Ice? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:27 PM Flag

Nothing of course, it's just liquid water and frozen water. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 02:28 PM Flag

Cold water contracts blood vessels restricting digestion among other things. Room temp is best. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:33 PM Flag

Oh, lord... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:21 PM Flag

Such an old wives tale. As in Italy, where Italians genuinely fear a/c as source of terrible illnesses. Watching Italian ladies wrapped in heavy wool sweaters in summer at grocery stores as they make a mad dash for something in the freezer aisle, grab, and mad dash away, to avoid the life- threatening chill. So ridiculous. But every society has some idiocy of this type. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:55 PM Flag

When I lived in London I noticed that people had fewer clothes and wore them more frequently, and that in NYC there is this warped pressure not to. So pathetic. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:44 PM Flag

I've noticed that European tourists don't seem to like the idea of food to go, and I believe it's considered somewhat rude in Japan, but I'll see families eating their lunch sitting on the curb. To each his own. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:46 PM Flag

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