UrbanBaby

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Expecting DC 1 at the end of summer. I really want to stay home with DB for the early years, but I also want to earn an income. The ideal solution would be to take a few years off and go back, but it’s easier said that done (in house lawyer, there are always plenty of hungry new biglaw associates fighting for these positions and I have no special skill set). DH is the breadwinner and supportive of me quitting but my compensation is good and I can’t imagine it going to zero. But I also truly believe that having one parent at home is best in the first couple of years. How do I reconcile these feelings and make a decision? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 PM Flag

Do you have the option to go part time? That is the best of both worlds, particularly if finances aren't a concern. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:48 PM Flag

I could ask but it’s not big in my company and the role likely works best for a full timer [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:57 PM Flag

This isn’t a knock against SAHMs, but that life wasn’t really for me. It’s boring and exhausting at the same time. Plus I like working. I agree with other poster to maybe try to stay part time if you can. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:00 PM Flag

I would go back to work initially and wait to see how you feel. The early years are taxing physically, but later years are harder emotionally. For me it worked better to work the first few years and then step back later when my kids were older. If I were you I would go back at least for 3-5 months and then reassess. That way you have an informed opinion. It can be kind of nice to hand your baby over to a nanny or daycare and spend 8 hours with no spit up on you talking to adults. If you realize after a few months that you really belong at home, no harm, no foul. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:01 PM Flag

+++++ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:05 PM Flag

Totally agree! I did this - your newborn does not care who is taking care of him or her but your first grader will want you to pick him/her up from school, etc. Be careful though that you hire a great caregiver. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:12 PM Flag

agree with this! as long as baby is loved thats all they need when theyre so young. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:40 PM Flag

I agree 1000%. Keep working and try to work youself into a part time position so that when the kids go to school you can work their hours. In some ways it's harder to work when they are older. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:15 PM Flag

I found it so much harder when my kids were in K and the lower grades [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 PM Flag

I was going to respond the same. How I thought I would be and feel before my baby cake was not at all how it was. I ended up being grateful for work when I went back. It definitely helped pull me out some post partum anxiety I was having and helped me balance out. Better for my baby too (I was obsessing about everything all the time - how much he ate, how much he pooped, how much he slept) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 PM Flag

Another person chiming in to agree. I was really happy to be working (and still am, though it's harder now) when my kids were babies. And I loved the baby stage, but the day to day is just a lot of diaper changing, and repetitive housework while they spend much of it sleeping. Now with elementary school kids, I think it's more important to be more available. I don't have a life affirming job either (I'm a lawyer too) but I really appreciate the routine, getting dressed, socializing with peers, and sense of accomplishment, along with the paycheck. See how you feel. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:03 PM Flag

I also liked going to work because I could talk to people about things other than being a mom. When you are home, it feels like you only socialize with other moms and you just talk about mom stuff. I like talking with men and women who have kids and don’t and feeling like more of a person that just a mom. That really got me through those baby years where it wasn’t easy to get out of the house with a crazy toddler [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:18 PM Flag

PP: ITA, and I also feel that it has helped me get perspective which is important for raising kids. Specifically, when I was home, I found that the people I interacted with were all people demographically similar to me -- a group of Upper East Side upper class women all with young kids. It ends up being a self reinforcing unhealthy bubble. I don't exactly work in a bastion of diversity, but it is MUCH better than my home life was, if only for the fact that it includes men, people without kids, and people who have perspective of having older kids. When I was home, I found that would obsess over things like two-year old classes. That was unhealthy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:24 PM Flag

As a mom of two teenagers who stayed home when they were younger and went back when youngest was in 1st grade -- I agree with this. I did it all wrong. You stay home when they are young for you. You stay home when they are older for them. I ended up leaving 5 years later. I wish I had worked f/t when they were younger and saved all that money and then stopped working when the oldest hit 4th grade. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 10:27 PM Flag

dont make any decisions yet. take your leave (dont quit) and see how it goes. you may be surprised at how you feel (might hate it might love it). you will have at least 4 months id guess to see how you feel. and in the meantime look for nannies / daycares ..again see how you feel. its easy to quit a job much harder to find one. i had a lot of anxiety about going back to work after my 1st. we had found a great nanny and the thought of going back was much harder than the reality. i love working and am still working FT with 3. anyways long response but wait to make a decision. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:02 PM Flag

I'm not going to make a decision right now but I doubt my opinion would change. Work is great for the paycheck but I've never found it fulfilling or enjoyable. Sounds terrible but it really comes down to whether I value the extra money more or bringing up DB myself more. Sounds awful when I put it that way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:15 PM Flag

I don’t find my job fulfilling or enjoyable but you are assuming that you will find being a SAHM fulfilling and enjoyable. It can be as much of a grind as working but no paycheck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:50 PM Flag

NP: WAHM with one DC. Babies may be snuggly but are super boring. If there's fulfillment to being at home with kids, it starts a wee bit at 18 months and then really kicks in at 4. If you're really set on SAHM, then do it, but I wouldn't start for the baby years. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:12 PM Flag

Babies are boring and demanding. I remember reading all these books when I was pregnant and I just knew I was getting my baby on a schedule. My baby had not read those books and was uninterested in the napping schedule they recommended! Haha [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:20 PM Flag

Don't make it a contest between the money and bringing up the baby. Many people do both. You are still raising your child even if you work. Non-kid time during the day is something to value. You think your opinion won't change now because you don't know what the slog is like. Also, don't underestimate starting out routines where you are doing 99% of things because your husband never had to be the one to get home in time to break the nanny. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:58 PM Flag

ITA with this. It's very hard if you have a 60 hour per week job, but it doesn't sound like you have that. I am home with my kids now and it just brings to light what the job of being a SAHM involves -- either you are cooking, cleaning, and doing housework/organizing all day or you are outsourcing those things and not doing much at all. You don't need to quit working to spend quality time with your kids (that being said two parents both working very high stress/demanding jobs is very tough). Best of all worlds is a flexible job. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:16 PM Flag

One other random tip. If you go back to work after maternity leave, don't make your first day a Monday. Make it a Wednesday. Easier adjustment. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:32 PM Flag

One thing I would add is that benefit of SAHM really goes up with number of kids. If you have 4 kids, it's hard to balance that (just the appointments alone!) with working -- the mental load becomes overwhelming. You really don't need to SAH to spend quality time with one child, and if you do, you need to be very careful and conscientious to find outlets and not take out a lot of energy and ambition on that child, or you will become a smothering mother. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:27 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:34 PM Flag

+2 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:18 PM Flag

I took years off and transitioned back in just fine. My only regret is that I felt like I needed to contribute and dabbled in some small business stuff that really made me only half-in both the work stuff and half-in the mom stuff. That's a miserable place to be. If you decide to stay home, own it! Keep your contacts very active - check in, send Christmas cards, be willing to help out for a day or two if someone needs an extra set of eyes or something. But don't make the mistake I did to try to do it halfway - Type A, successful women end up miserable when they try to do that (at least in my experience). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:36 PM Flag

i like reading all these replies. i also was advised by a mentor if im going to stop working to stop when kids are older. not that it doesnt matter if youre the one feeding your toddler but as long as you have a great caregiver (nanny, grandparent) and theyre safe and loved thats enough for them. once they are older they need you (mom) in such a real and different way. think middle school and high school and all that entails. i think most SAHM are totally burned out by the time their kids are 5 or 6 and ready to go back to work. i see my friends they are over it and counting the months until school starts (being a total slave to your children , in the house etc gets old). i really appreciated hearing that the opposite timeline would benefit the kids more. had never heard that from anyone else, everyone thinks to syay home with a baby and go back to work when theyre in school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:39 PM Flag

I think this is true to some extent, but having watched two different moms take this path (both made insane money and then "retired" early to be with their kids, who were elementary and middle school at the time), it wasn't as easy as that. This view is from the parent perspective, where the mom can shut off work and focus on the kids. The issue in both cases was that the kids had gotten very "parent-independent" and didn't really put value on having the parent around more. It ended up leading to more angst and probably worse relationships because the moms both wanted very close relationships with their older kids, but those are the sort of relationships that you start to build when a kid is 8 or 10. They aren't built through a few (granted, amazing!) vacations/experiences each year. The seeds of that sort of relationship - where a child looks to their parent as their main "true north"/confidante and such - begin much earlier. This is not to say that parents who work long hours can't have a close relationship with their kids, but it's not the same as if you have been developing it from the earlier years, and it's sort of weird for the kids (at least in the two cases I saw, both of which involved amazing women and a total of six kids). In both cases, the moms went back to work and hired a nanny again. Everyone was much happier, but the moms are still sort of wounded by it all. That said, I don't think either would go back and make different choices. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:18 PM Flag

np. that's interesting. it does seem like in these cases the moms weren't around much before they "retired" -- you said insane money which usually means insane hours. That would be very disconcerting to kid to never have mom around then mom is always around, wanting to "hang out" with you all the time just when the kid begins that process of separation. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:28 PM Flag

or: Yes, you said much more concisely what I was trying to say! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:29 PM Flag

pp: thanks, well i found your post to provide a lot of food for thought, as I have a 9 yo DD. I can already see her pulling away preferring to spend time with friends. I think this is an age where parents seem to find their kids more fun to hang with, but kids start finding their peers more fun. Now I'm feeling guilty for all those times I didn't want to play when she was younger. I have always worked but I hope that we have a good foundation to keep a close relationship. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:40 PM Flag

or: Those AREN'T the kind of relationships you start build when a kid is 8 or 10. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:31 PM Flag

thats interesting. happend to a friend of mine (not making insane money but needed to work). her daughter drew a family pictures when she was like 13 and the mom wasnt in it. ouch. 7 years later shes still heartbroken over it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:59 AM Flag

[ - ] OK guys, this is getting ridiculous. I have two small kids 18 months apart. My hair seems to have not come back after my second pregnancy (youngest is 21 months). It fell out for a long time after the second pregnancy (at least a year). It is so thin that even when it is clean if looks greasy on Zoom calls because it so thin it separates. What can I do? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:37 PM Flag

Have your thyroid checked. And do bloodwork. I had a lot of hair loss and was super deficient in various vitamins. I had to go to an integrative Dr. to get the real, in depth blood work though. Changed my life (other things were going on too that regular Dr. totally missed) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:53 PM Flag

What’s an integrative dr and how do I find one? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:54 PM Flag

It's (usually) a regular Dr. who looks at the whole body instead of just treating things symptom by symptom. Mine was a GP for years and then went this route. I think you can google either integrative or functional dr. (same thing) and see who comes up and what the ratings are etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:58 PM Flag

Thanks! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:10 PM Flag

Same. I was very low iron ands fixing that helped. Now I use Rogaine too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:15 PM Flag

np. Biotin too. My hair recovered. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:35 PM Flag

[ - ] Boden is basically glorified Target wear. That is all. 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:30 PM Flag

I can see that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:31 PM Flag

I'm ready to get some flames/disagreements, but IME, unless you're buying the top tier of the top tier most clothes are just the same. Paying more doesn't usually seem to translate to quality/fabric/construction. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:33 PM Flag

I agree, when I splurge on J.Crew or banana, I really feel like what the hell did I bother. Some stuff okay is made a bit better, but its all factory crap made cheaply for the most profit [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:35 PM Flag

PP: Ha, I stopped shopping at J Crew for this reason. Unless I really want the item and there's a deep discount it's just the same as the cheaper stuff elsewhere. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:41 PM Flag

I think of JCrew, Banana and Boden as the same. Vince is a step up in fabrics and style. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:58 PM Flag

I agree with that [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:40 PM Flag

I think there are some differences, but overall, quality has come down across the board (though prices for clothing have come down too) due to the influence of fast fashion. There are some middle designers like Cuyana where you can buy decent quality natural fiber clothes made of wool and silk, but everything at Banana Republic will be polyester. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:44 PM Flag

+1. It is so sad that mid-range, good-quality designers all got squeezed by fast fashion. I like to shop Cuyana and Everlane. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:23 PM Flag

Everlane has been horrible since COVID, not responding to customers who need returns or refunds, not delivering orders. Used to be my go-to but after reading comments on their social media I'm wary. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:15 PM Flag

+2. I still have some clothes from J. Crew and Banana from decades ago and the difference in quality and construction is ridiculous. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:41 PM Flag

PP: Agree. You used to be able to buy work places from J Crew and Ann Taylor. Both stores went downhill though they did get a lot cheaper. Now I feel like if I want a decent suit, I need to pay $$$$. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 PM Flag

Work staples, not places. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 PM Flag

I'm old but Ann Taylor used to be very nice (late 80s? maybe) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:15 PM Flag

PP: I agree with you. I'm old too and still have some Ann Taylor dresses that I bought in college during the 90s. They are 100% silk and really well made. Suits used to be 100% wool. Now, there is nothing like that. But the clothes also used to be much more expensive. When I was in college, I could only afford to buy on major sales. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:24 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:20 AM Flag

They did get a lot cheaper, but now there is that missing "middle" retail segment between cheap and super expensive. The middle range that used to be J. Crew is now the same quality as cheap, so no point in paying the slight markup. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:03 PM Flag

Hannah Andersson pjs and unders really do last longer. I'm glad they are finally doing sales, it used to be very rare. I also splurge on the land's end iron knee pants for uniform pants. Children's place is 1/2 the price and lasts 1/4 as long. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:14 PM Flag

ITA on HA, DD doesn't like the undies any more, but when she was younger, I loved buying them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:09 PM Flag

I actually think Target has more talented designers. I HATE Boden clothes. They look like children's clothes for grown women-- the fit, colors, etc. is all off. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:42 PM Flag

But the quality is very poor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:54 PM Flag

I don't know as I've never purchased the women's clothing since I find it hideous. But yes, looks like a bunch of synthetic garbage. The kids clothes are cute, though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:05 PM Flag

I used to buy Boden maybe 15 years ago. Now the prints are just weird and the fit is off. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:16 PM Flag

This! The fit is so bad. Target has good styles, the problem is they are rarely 100% cotton. But last year they had some great cotton dresses. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:21 PM Flag

the creep of modal and polyester into previously 100% cotton clothes infuriates me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:41 PM Flag

pp. Absolutely. For that treason I like Yoox and Nordstrom, they have a filter by fabric. But most sites don't, because it is all crap. Even higher priced items are now made of synthetic material. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:08 PM Flag

they are trying to hide that they're cheaping out. It's almost amusing trying to find the materials list on a clothin item site. It used to be very visible. Now you have to click around and it's buried in a small tab in the corner. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:05 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:55 PM Flag

i agree about the fit! I have seen things in the catalogue that look nice on the models that fit very strangely on me. I thought I just had the wrong body type for their clothes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:20 PM Flag

their kids stuff is super cute [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:02 PM Flag

I like Boden dresses. They fit well, are inexpensive (there is always a sale on) and fun. Hate away UB! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:13 PM Flag

I'm with you. I love their wrap dresses. Simple, wear well, fit perfectly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:39 PM Flag

Serious question: where do you wear these dresses? Also, do you like cap sleeves? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:47 PM Flag

Wrap dress poster above: Cap sleeves are great on me--they visually create an hourglass more than a short sleeve (which just widens my top) or sleeveless (which emphasizes the worst part of my arms and makes me look too straight down.) And I wear the dresses everywhere. Around the house, out and about with flat sandals, dinner out with heeled sandals. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:24 PM Flag

Thanks for answering. We likely have very different body type which informs style as cap sleeves are so vile on me. I cannot imagine wearing these dresses to work as they are not professional enough, but my casual wear is mostly jeans so lifestyle is also different. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:05 PM Flag

Some I wear around all summer, some I wear to work with a blazer or cardigan. And I do like the cap sleeves in summer over sleeveless. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:31 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:13 PM Flag

agree. I buy a few every yr to rotate them into my work attire. some are cuter than others but they come in handy [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:21 PM Flag

Or Old Navy, but so what. It's cute for kids. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:21 PM Flag

Recently became a Hanna Anderson underwear devotee for my daughter. They are truly better. Thicker, softer etc...Could just be they tick all the boxes for her. I haven't tried any adult versions yet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:26 PM Flag

I recently gave my daughter two of my Boden dresses because she needed material to make masks. After only a few wears they looked terrible. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:50 PM Flag

i like a lot of their stuff in part because it fits me, but i don't think its fashion. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:27 PM Flag

I bought things for my DS c.2005 and it was really nice. He had a pair of leather basketball shoes that were especially excellent. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:56 PM Flag

Disagree. I love their kids clothes and they have great wear to work clothes (shirts, dresses). Also bathing suits are good too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:31 PM Flag

I love target's stuff. My teens still pick out clothes from there, and we live in a very OTT materialistic town. They try not to be flashy, except for a few random things they have. In terms of quality, who knows. People have given us clothing gifts, and I think designed clothes are much more fragile. They require more care for wearing and washing, but the fit is much better. Just not necessarily $500 better for a top or $300 better for track pants. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:32 PM Flag

MiniBoden is adorable and I love it. Bought a ton of it for my 2 girls. Boden for women is hit or miss. Lots of it looks like something a kindergarten teacher would wear. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:56 PM Flag

[ - ] Currently in MA where playgrounds just reopened. Surprisingly, they are all packed. My kids are dying to go to one but just not sure it's worth the risk. I can't imagine they ever get cleaned, at least not throughout the day, and my kids definitely touch everything and their faces a ton. How do others feel about this? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:24 PM Flag

hard pass [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:26 PM Flag

Maybe 830 am? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:52 PM Flag

That’s what I thought, go to playground first thing in the morning, more like 7 am and maybe spray or wipe down a bit if it too much to do [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:57 PM Flag

How old are your kids? If over the phase where they put everything in their mouth, I wouldn't bother wiping. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:28 PM Flag

Are you in an apartment with no outdoor space? If so, go for it with precaution. Do you have a backyard and/or easy access to woods/hiking trails/other outdoor spaces for kids to run and climb? If so, playground isn't necessary. I'm in NYC and dying for our playgrounds to open not so my kids can go on the swings or slides, but just to have an open space nearby to play catch and run. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:10 PM Flag

I'm ok with the playground (wash hands after) but not the crowds. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:15 PM Flag

[ - ] Anyone else profoundly sad? I am so over the bubble my family is living in. I am sad for all my dcs are missing (although i cant bring myself to send dc to sleepaway camp) and feel sick when I think about school being virtual in the fall 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:09 PM Flag

I am profoundly sad about the number of Black men and women killed by cops in this country. I feel sick when I think about Trump possibly winning in November [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:20 PM Flag

op - i feel sick about the trump thing too and I am sad about the racial state of our country. But I am mostly sad about my little crew. Call me selfish but that is my world [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:25 PM Flag

Not a conspiracy theorist, but honestly is Pelosi just making so much money and all of the top republicans and democrats that they want Trump to win again.. I mean why else would they be running Biden? Why did they beat up that GAbby from Hawaii? She had some potential. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:37 PM Flag

I admit the pickens are slim but Biden is a moderate Democrat and will get more votes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:41 PM Flag

Rich people are definelty making a lot of money right now. I am only moderately rich (UB lmc) and I paid 45K less in taxes after the tax cuts. And stocks have been on a tare. If Biden cancel's the tax cuts it will be a setback. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:58 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:08 PM Flag

I am very sad for my kids but I am absolutely loving not having to interact with other adults. I guess I don't really like any of the people I deal with on a regular basis. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:22 PM Flag

this this this [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:23 PM Flag

I can't decide if this means I need to find friends or that I should move ahead and just find solo activities that fulfill me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:24 PM Flag

I'm in the same camp. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:38 PM Flag

+2 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:23 PM Flag

Yes, often feeling really sad. And the worst is trying to see friends and getting little or no response. Found this article helpful. (misery loves company) https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2020/05/depression-coronavirus/611986/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:23 PM Flag

Me. So much. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:24 PM Flag

Yes but I agree with the comment above that the macro elements worry me more. At the end of the day, the way our leaders run things has a tremendous impact on our little bubbles (such as how the COVID response is run) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:34 PM Flag

Shake it off, step up and be the leader for your family. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:37 PM Flag

This is a very harmful response. It’s ok to have these feelings and it’s healthy that OP is venting somewhere. A little support for her would be nice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:44 PM Flag

Eye roll. You can do everything you need to get done in life and still have feelings. Our society has pathologized sadness. It's ok to be sad sometimes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 PM Flag

I'm very concerned/upset for tween dc. I still have my work and my adult relationships and i have more time for myself. Sure, I miss grabbing a meal with friends. But it's not the end of the world. But for dc, everything is upside down and it's like that last day of Christmas break when you're over just sitting around in pj's eating cookies and watching Netflix except it's that day every day over and over and over and now it's hot outside to boot. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 PM Flag

op - exactly. I am most sad for my 12 yr old dd. I wish i could get comfortable sending her to sleepaway camp but that feels irresponsible. SO she is doing a ton of nothing and working out like crazy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:51 PM Flag

I respect you decision about camp but this is exactly the reason we are sending my 12 year old dd to sleep away camp. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:55 PM Flag

which camp? and how did you get comfortable? Help me - I want to say yes! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:56 PM Flag

A camp in NH. They have an excellent plan laid out. All staff and campers have to get tested before coming to camp and once during camp. Staff has to arrive to camp 14 days before camp starts. No one can leave camp. No parents visit. There are a bunch of other rules/protocols that I’m too lazy to type but I was comfortable with their plan. Am I still going to worry - sure, but she really needs to get out of the city and see friends. We do not have a second home like so many others. I totally get it if you don’t feel comfortable though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:08 PM Flag

dds camp in Maine has a similar plan. ANd i get the risk is low. We rented a house for the summer so not in the city for now so there is an out and I am ok with her seeing some friends now BUT i feel like a paranoid nervous nelly not sending her. I have a pit in my stomach either way [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:12 PM Flag

^^ also how many weeks? Dds camp in 4 weeks and that felt a bit long. I feel like I would have done 2 - irrational I know! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:13 PM Flag

It’s 4 weeks also. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:17 PM Flag

it's awful. just take it one day at a time. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:16 PM Flag

[ - ] NY Times article about NYC admissions screens in light of Covid and BLM protests ----> 111 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:02 PM Flag

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/11/nyregion/coronavirus-nyc-schools-admissions.html [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:02 PM Flag

love the C. Jama Adams comment on that piece [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:36 PM Flag

I observe a lot of white UMC NYC parents want their kids to be segregated in public school from lower performing kids (the majority of whom just happen to be minority). They employ nannies who are minority and who subsist in a very different and more precarious economic level, sometimes with their own children in a home country. Meanwhile these same UMC parents post black squares on Instagram and have progressive values. The city is brutal (attaining schooling, attaining salary) but we can also be honest that individuals and not just corporations perpetuate systemic injustice through choices that can seem strictly personal. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:11 PM Flag

this will cause the collapse of the city. There will be a 70s style flight to the burbs again. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:08 PM Flag

I dunno but reading this and knowing what many of us have gone through trying to educate our kids in this city for years, hindsight 20/20, a nice burb where you can go to the age of 17 never worrying and working toward the next year’s admission sounds like nirvana. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:19 PM Flag

NP:I totally agree with this. If I could do it over, I would have headed for the burbs when my oldest was 5. The years of effort and stress over schools have not been worth staying in NYC. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:35 PM Flag

So true. I often tell people that if I could turn back time I would have moved before K. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 PM Flag

If you have navigated the middle school or high school admissions process, then you know that the system was very broken and totally maddening. It's not just racial segregation (which I agree is shameful), but all of the inequities that are built in. I'm an educated professional who is fluent in English, and I struggled. This is a chance for a complete overhaul. On the other hand, I have no faith in the Mayor or the DOE to carry that out in a fair and thoughtful way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:25 PM Flag

+ 1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:31 PM Flag

+2 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:46 PM Flag

+3 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:57 PM Flag

+4 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:14 PM Flag

+5 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 10:11 PM Flag

i dont disagree, but BDB and Carranza will only screw it up and dilute the elite public HS causing the middle class to leave the city. Our dcs are set for now BUT if budgets suffer I would pull and send them to private school or leave NYC [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:32 PM Flag

Agree. My struggle that I can't answer is what makes a school "good"? Is it the high achieving cohort that attends? My kids in v. selective schools certainly have had their share of terrible teachers, and the kids basically tech themselves the work. Is it the teachers- selective schools certainly have their pick of quality teachers wanting to tech there. I agree the system is broken, but I also think ny high school, it's too late for so many kids who missed out on better education earlier on. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:38 PM Flag

I think that’s a good point. There are so many differing opinions of what makes a good school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:49 PM Flag

And that is the question isn't it? What makes a school "good"? Some very very low performing schools receive a ton of $ (Renewal), so its not money. Is it the teachers - maybe- but its a lot easier to teach a room of kids who are on or above grade level, focused, well fed, read to ad home, etc. Is it the kids/parents - maybe - if mom and dad have books in the house and read to the child daily, the kid hears high level of vocab since birth, etc. Alina Adams writes a lot about this. http://newyorkschooltalk.org/2020/06/an-inconvenient-truth-the-nyc-schools-math-problem-nobody-talks-about/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:00 PM Flag

Thanks [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:13 PM Flag

No, most people think a good schools is a school with kids of educated parents. That is it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:19 PM Flag

I know many people think this, but having had kids at schools with a cross section of demographics, I disagree. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:06 PM Flag

i attended schools with some cross-section of demographics from K onwards. In the beginning, the school was largely but not exclusively white working/middle class. After third grade, I attended schools with ratios of 30-50% URM. The 4-6 and 10-12 schools were mainly working and middle class - high school had the most middle class African Americans of all the schools I attended. The middle school was more divided by class with a large concentration of affluent whites. Think this reflects the times, but most working class white kids @ my high school did not aspire to attend college, but assumed they would work in one of the good-paying manufacturing jobs in the area (sadly that evaporated 2-3 years after we graduated). Greater percentage of working and middle African American students aiming for college - may also be related that there were more African American teachers encouraging them to do so, while many white teachers were content with the scene. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:41 PM Flag

Meh, I disagree. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:25 PM Flag

You disagree that most people think that. If so, you are incorrect. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:57 PM Flag

LOL! I'm sorry where is all of your research or is it your little group of friends? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:36 AM Flag

I love this question and struggle with it. Having had kids in both unscreened schools and selective schools, parent engagement can carry a school through a crisis of leadership (and that's a real advantage over a school without highly engaged, resourced parents because all DOE schools have crises!), but over the long haul (1) real leadership from a strong principal, (2) teachers who have time and ability to work together and be thoughtful about educational progress across grades, (3) a plan for differentiation, (4) not too high a concentration of high needs and "too high" can vary based on factors out of the control of the school itself. But in my NYC experience, 40-70% "high needs" can work, depending on a bunch of factors. My son is at a school with 75% of families qualifying for free and reduced lunch, but it is screened so that changes everything. There are more, but I think those are foundational. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:05 PM Flag

Whatever one's opinion on screen may be, there is no discussion at all on addressing the poor quality of the education the bulk of the schools claim to provide. Moving bodies around won't change the fact that more than 50% of NYC children are below grade level for ELA/Math. What will be done differently to education children? Nothing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:57 PM Flag

If schools were diverse, resources could go to poor kids or kids who have had trauma. Now, there are schools with tons of need and schools with little. My kids go to a public that was doing very well. The doe decided to transfer every kid with issues into one school and now the school is "bad." The doe does not offer extra resources for these kids that have a ton of need. If the kids were spread throughout the district it would have been so much better. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:22 PM Flag

Fair Student Funding Formula. Needy schools get more money. Renewal poured in a billion and while there were non academic benefits, there was no improvement academically. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:48 PM Flag

PP: In NYC all schools are funded centrally by the DOE. This is not like the suburbs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 PM Flag

NP: Spreading around PTA money has to be a part of the solution. Schools are centrally funded by the DOE, but "good" schools have an extra revenue stream from their wealthy parent PTAs, which sets them apart. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:38 PM Flag

Even with PTA money, schools serving more high needs students almost always get much more funding per student (both FSF + Title 1) than the schools serving wealthy parent bodies with the big PTA $$. In my experience, the hardest hit schools are those that are diverse, serving 40-60% families who qualify for free and reduced lunch -- so no Title 1 funds in NYC (except Staten Island apparently) but don't really have the parent wealth to raise big $$ to replace the loss of $300K (about what schools of decent size would have received in Title 1 funds), and then many of those schools also have higher performing students -- and FSF directs more money to lower performing students, so schools that have success with their students' performance are rewarded with less money. I get the motivtion behind the funding formula, but it can have perverse results in these situations. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:43 PM Flag

My kids school has a tiny PTA budget (many low income families) and is top performing in the state. They don't have the extras like 2nd teachers or all that other stuff, but the education is top notch. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:55 PM Flag

What is working at your school? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:27 PM Flag

its a screened school, kids are all high achievers. teachers are free to teach to highest levels, parents demand accountability. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:00 PM Flag

Screen schools should never count as “good schools” [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:00 PM Flag

when 100% of the kids are proficient in ELA/MATH and 90% get 4s, yeah its a good school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:31 AM Flag

Not true. If you have lots of kids in poverty, you need more money than schools with kids that do not have the trauma associated with poverty. Title 1 is nothing compared to what PTAs raise. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:59 PM Flag

but this is just to say, most kids in a lottery won't get any of their ranked 12. the numbers dont work [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:30 AM Flag

hyperbole much? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:20 PM Flag

And the responses here will show that most UMC people do not want to integrate the schools because they would rather keep to themselves, minorities be dammed; there needs to be a total overhaul, schools should be open to all children, you all want to move to the suburbs, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, you will be perpetuating segregation in your own way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:40 PM Flag

i will admit it - i do not. I do not need children that need a ton for support or are disruptive in my dcs class. I do not want to worry about violence in the MS/HS for my older dc. They need to fix the elementary schools instead of going straight to changing the elite HS [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 PM Flag

See this is a blatantly racist comment. Yes you are racist. You are automatically equating all kids of color as trouble makers and stupid. Shame on you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:58 PM Flag

+845,000,000 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:07 PM Flag

She didn't mention colour. White can be violent as well [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:16 AM Flag

I agree with this. They need to keep the elite schools, but also improve struggling schools. By removing the elite schools, you don’t do anything but dumb down the entire population by focusing only on slower learners. It’s not about race or minorities. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:13 PM Flag

Redistricting and sending some wealthier students to struggling schools, where the parents can get more involved and raise more as a PTA and then make the school stronger, would make a big difference, but parents are in uproar every time they mention even considering that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:32 PM Flag

so you send 10% MC/UMC parents to a low income school - who is it they will fund raise from? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:01 PM Flag

Exactly!! And in reality, those families would just leave the system. The weight of the entire school would be on a few families’ shoulders? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:52 PM Flag

yeah, go ahead - not my kids thank you very much [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:01 PM Flag

I’m a wealthy non white with kids in a public because I prefer public over private and I contribute heavily to PTA. I’ll pull my kids out of Nyc public the minute they are “sent” to a struggling school because 1. I want decent education for my kids and 2. I don’t want any unnecessary commute. If I were a mc non white who cannot afford private school, I’ll stop donating to PTA and use that money for tutoring/enrichment outside the school. It baffles me that you are surprised that those wealthy/umm/mc parents are in uproar. Have you even thought your plan through? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 10:16 PM Flag

ITA so sick of smug White people who are proud of sending their kids to public schools when they really only want segregated public schools. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:46 PM Flag

No one wants segregated schools, stop with stirring the pot. We want high-performing, challenging schools, minorities or not it does not matter. The problem is the city and DOE doesn't know how to fix education on elementary level, so that by the time kids apply for MS, some of them have not fallen behind. It also is very hard to desegregate ES because the city itself is segregated and that is because of RE prices mostly. If we had stronger ES, those students would make the MS and HS stronger, and they won't be fighting for the few limited SHS. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:28 PM Flag

THIS. They need to fix the schools starting with kindergarten on up. Don't dismantle the SHS, fix the elementary schools so all kids can learn. Bottom line. And the current elementary G&T screening needs to go. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:21 PM Flag

You want segregation. The mental gymnastics you have to do to justify your beliefs is ridiculous. Just admit it to yourself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:03 PM Flag

Troll somewhere else. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 10:12 PM Flag

Exactly. That's what I've been saying for days, fix the system starting at K and elementary. Bottom-up approach. Not patching the middle. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:26 AM Flag

This is simply not true. I would love for schools to be integrated and my DS goes to Beacon, which is one of the most integrated schools in the city. No one wants to look at the real problems, which are complex and hard to solve. The inequities start in K. In poorer neighborhoods, families have multiple stressors that often prevent parents from advocating for better schools and meeting their families needs. The schools in the Bronx are all terrible. ok So intergrate earlier. But many parents don't want their K child going from walking to school to taking a bus or traveling. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:50 PM Flag

Beacon is NOT one of the most integrated schools in the city. There are websites that track this, and make it clear that Beacon is not a good actor on this front. Beacon is, in my mind, worse than the SHSAT schools because it is disproportionately white and wealthy, while SHSAT schools are disproportionate Asian and either not at all or just a little disproportionately wealthy (compared to the city as a while). Beacon's PTA fundraising pretty much dwarfs every public high school in NYC, even much bigger schools. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:10 PM Flag

How can you say Beacon is one of the most integrated schools in the city? Beacon is nearly half white even though white students make up about 15% of overall DOE enrollment. Beacon may be more diverse than most NYC high schools but it is certainly not equitable. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:05 PM Flag

My dd and her friends visited elementary schools with AA kids to try to get more diversity at Beacon. They helped kids with their essays and picked the essays up and brought them in. Not one kid got in. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:05 PM Flag

wasn't Beacon a group interview with select current students at one point? though i believe that dropped. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:32 AM Flag

Beacon is also very low on lunch-free kids, in stark contrast to most schools in the city. And don't even start me on D2 schools that are only open to D2 students, which is appalling. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:20 PM Flag

LOL [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:23 PM Flag

beacon is one of the whitest schools in the city. cmon. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:34 AM Flag

Beacon has one of the worst reps for being selective and allowing preferences with wealthier alum. Their admission process is murky at best [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:58 AM Flag

AGREED - I teach in the Consortium BTW - Beacon is the school that every single school administrator weasels their kids into who can't do well on the SHSAT - Deblasio's daughter went there - my former principal's kid went there. It's much like the Center School - miraculously every single celebrity's kid who lived in District 3 got in there - hmmmmm - Beacon needs to shut up and sit down. East Side Community School is one we should emulate. Google that one people! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:44 PM Flag

I don't think this is fair. Most UMC people (of all races) want high quality, safe schools for their kids, and less privileged parents want the same thing. The difference is that only UMC parents can navigate the tortured, dysfunctional NYC system to get their kids into those schools. The problem is the shitty NYC schools, not the families trying to work within this broken system. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:53 PM Flag

This! Charters are full of minority families who are trying to find something better for their kids than the local, failing school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:29 PM Flag

Agree, and why I support charter schools even though I think they way they operate in NYC -- with separate admission systems and crowding out traditional publics in buildings -- is a real problem. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:50 PM Flag

ITA. And being able to cherry pick. They should be forced to educate anyone who applies and not counsel out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:12 PM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:28 PM Flag

I feel very frustrated because I feel like the city is responsible for their terrible job integrating housing and now their solution is to destroy the few functioning schools. I would love to see G&T in every school, the citywide system dismantled, all kids given g&t placement tests in school on an opt-out basis. I want the top percentage of elementary students from each school (don't know the number, probable too 5%) to be guaranteed admission to the MS of their choice. I want high schools to be bigger so that there is less administrator budget and more high level course options. I want all placement and admissions to occur during the school day and to be opt out. I do not want the system to be lottery. I have a 7th grader and have spent hours pouring over the high school options. There are over 1000 high schools and maybe 50 of them are acceptable for someone planning on attending a selective university. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:02 PM Flag

So basically go back to the model around in the 1980's? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:07 PM Flag

I don't know that well enough to compare. I just look at the "good" schools and think about ways to get that structure into more places. You attract or retain highly qualified students through rigorous classes and well-funded "extras" like libraries and bands and science labs. When I think about moving to the suburbs for school it is solely for advanced classes. My kids will not attend a high school that does not offer either AP or I course and no one should have to attend a school that can't offer those programs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:16 PM Flag

*IB [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:17 PM Flag

What should a good education (or at least educational choice) be allocated first to the most successful students? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:11 PM Flag

I think that all schools should offer these classes. If that means larger schools that offer opportunity to move up, so be it. But putting a kid who is going to fail AP Chem into an honors program and putting a kid who loves advanced science in a school with no labs doesn't make any sense. All schools track and they should because not all people are equally smart or driven. The DOE should focus on fixing and funding elementary schools so that minority students aren't so far behind. The city is failing and rather than change their structure or teaching methods they are simply removing any way to gauge progress. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:57 PM Flag

I agree that AP and IB course are VERY important to college bound kids. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:19 PM Flag

+1 -- and honestly, even many smaller, strong NYC public schools have limited offerings in these areas. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:22 PM Flag

agree. It's very frustrating. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:24 PM Flag

But without a strong PTA, which many struggling schools don't have, they can't afford to fund those things. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:34 PM Flag

Which is a problem. It should not depend on the PTAs to fund. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:27 PM Flag

PTAs dont fund classes and teachers (aides are different). that has to come from school budget. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:27 PM Flag

Correct, but what happens is that a PTA gives the principal a chunk a money and he uses that for other budget items which frees up his money to spend on teachers. That is what every school we have been at does. My kids NYC public elementary PTA was taking in 1 million a year by the time my kids moved on to middle school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:53 PM Flag

My kids schools have tiny PTA budgets (less than 25/30K) relative to the #s being thrown around here. All good schools. Parents on top of the kids. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:34 AM Flag

Oh, I'm not trying to say that schools can't do great things with small PTA budgets. I was explaining to another poster how schools can get certain classes and teachers in a round about way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:38 AM Flag

the problem is way bigger than AP classes. There are kids with behavior problems that destroy the learning environment for the other kids. Our ES public is generally good, but a couple of unruly kids have made school really difficult. Its the nature of a public school that doesnt screen. I went to private, and if anyone was a problem, they were counseled out. So a screened public is not just about the academic ability. Its for kids that know how to behave in a classroom. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:32 PM Flag

some of the really great college prep high schools here in west coast are opting out of AP classes while offering some course above AP level. APs might not be a good indicator for the overall quality. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:30 AM Flag

I’m an UMC minority. I can assure you that most UMC people don’t care if their school is 60% minority, but they will not send their kids to a school that is 60% free lunch and non selective. It’s not a race thing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 10:23 PM Flag

I'm the OR, UMC and I don't care about race % or free lunch %. I care about SAT scores, state test scores and availability of advanced classes. In fact, I consider a school with high scores and high % of free lunch to be better than a school with high scores and few free lunch students. That's why I prefer SHS to Beacon or Clinton. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:08 PM Flag

But it is a race thing when non-selective and free lunch correlates so closely with race. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:17 PM Flag

Did anyone notice that the author went to public and private schools? I don't need to hear from someone who is a privileged private schooler shaming public school parents of today. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:09 PM Flag

THIS!!!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:15 PM Flag

she does not have children either. no skin in the game whatsoever [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:57 PM Flag

she once tweeted since tried to get into an SHS, took the SHSAT but missed the cut off [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:38 AM Flag

NYC does not prioritize education, it's not reasonable to expect that they will. If education is priority for you, you have to pay up for private or move. This is not going to change. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:45 PM Flag

I hope that's not true. So depressing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:28 PM Flag

It'll be like California, where public schools are, for the most part, horrible. Sadly, most families that I know of (San Fran and LA) parents send kids to private. I'm afraid NYC is heading that direction, if not already. There will be no real equality in education until we address fundamental issues in housing, income/wealth gap, healthcare, etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:42 PM Flag

Agree [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:52 PM Flag

thats were it was in the 80s and 90s. The last 20 years it changed but we might be headed back to private school or burbs. The problem is privates are SO expensive now. In the 80s upper middle class folks could still afford private [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:02 PM Flag

this. i grew up UMC, and only went to private because apts were so cheap in the 1970s. You could live on a single professional income in prime UWS, UES. My friends parents werent investment bankers. An eye Dr, and a stay at home mom, but could afford an apt on Mad ave and a TT school for 2. That was typical. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:35 PM Flag

now, you'd struggle to live in Windsor terrace in 1000 sq ft on that salary, so forget private [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 08:36 PM Flag

Yup. Same here. Dr. and sahm. 2 kids to private in 80s [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:32 AM Flag

Look at San Fran after Carranza was done with it - no algebra in MS. Disaster. https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2018/01/02/naacp-san-francisco-schools-black-students/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:05 PM Flag

yes, in SF bay area and sent DC to private K-12. although, we have many friends with kids happily going to public schools. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:33 AM Flag

It seems the NYC DOE's mission is not education but social services. So much talk about diversity and keeping schools running so parents can work. The need for academic rigor and health of students is obviously not a priority. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:18 PM Flag

Agree. It comes off as racist to want rigorous public school education. I would gladly send my children to private if we could afford it here on the east coast. NYC privates are so expensive compared to California privates. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:33 PM Flag

+1 advocating for a merit-based system suddenly became racist. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:34 AM Flag

read the comments on the authors twitter (Eliza Shapiro). Lots of criticism since she completely mischaracterized the Zoom meeting with Queens parents who are vehemently opposed to removing screens. People claiming that her reporting is more op-ed than the reporting of facts. I completely agree with that. Her articles are always biased towards her agenda. She wrote the article about how rich white families who pay $200 for a "school tips" newsletter were warned that the lines for the Beacon tour were long, so to come early. Meanwhile, you could be last on line and still tour the school, and touring gives you ZERO benefit in the admission process. But her article was based on this HUGE ADVANTAGE for people who could afford the newsletter. She does this with every education article and its awful reporting. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 10:20 PM Flag

Ita [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:19 AM Flag

This author is the worst it’s always the same thing with her - so biased [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:30 AM Flag

[ - ] Things I'm irrationally annoyed about 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:57 PM Flag

Packaging - like how the lift and peels NEVER lift or peel (those are the WORST), and the pop ups on lotion bottles often don't work either. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:58 PM Flag

DH saying last night at 5pm - "I'll make dinner" then at 6:30 after he's armorall'd the tires on our cars and stared at his F*cking phone for god knows how long, he comes outside where I'm doing yard work and I say "are you making dinner" and he said "oh, yeah I will but I don't know what we have". I f*cking quit [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:21 PM Flag

This is not irrational. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:28 PM Flag

thank you. I was furious. he was clueless [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:39 PM Flag

Next time he says, "I'll make dinner," you say: "great! There are chicken cutlets in the right hand drawer that you can fry and some romaine lettuce on the bottom for salad and you can either do rice or pasta on the side. Let me know if you need a recipe. I told the kids we'd be eating at 6:15." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:48 PM Flag

Funny thing is that any other day that's exactly what I do. But last night I was just so sick of being in charge and just wanted him to figure it out w/out having his hand held. I am so tired of being in charge of every damn thing in this house. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:55 PM Flag

^all he had to do was open the fridge and see that I'd shopped. And part of it was that he took 90 minutes to get to this point. WTF [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:56 PM Flag

NP sounds like my DH. Why are so many men like this? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:02 PM Flag

this is my complaint. I am always in charge of cooking, what to watch, vacations, how to handle the kids. I mean it's nice that he's on board, but everything is my decision I have no idea what he really thinks, it's like he's along for the ride [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:22 PM Flag

Same here, it’s caused many fights. He calls it “division of labor” [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:15 PM Flag

np. the other day my DH said he would make dinner because i had work to get out ASAP. He said he would make salmon, I said fine, cook it however you like. He proceeds to interrupt me every 5 minutes asking "is this the right pan?" "how high should the stove be?" "what should I put on it"? until I finally snapped "can you just look it up? I need to concentrate." and then he said I never appreciate when he helps. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:37 PM Flag

Omggg, what is wrong with people? I’d be so annoyed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:15 PM Flag

This is what’s difficult about dealing with people who aren’t self starters or intuitive. Like why do I have to explain every damn thing [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:37 PM Flag

Then she's just stuck doing the worst work of the whole deal to get dinner on the table. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:08 PM Flag

yep. lots of DHs like to mentally check out of any household duties. they will only execute what someone else plans down to every last detail. Two adults, but only one brain between the two. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:39 PM Flag

the gigantic boxes that target and amazon send with one tiny item in them and tons of plastic bubbles [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:04 PM Flag

I like the big boxes to put ll of my boxes in for recycling. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:29 PM Flag

The only upside is that my youngest makes amazing forts out of these. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:29 PM Flag

The construction noise that starts every morning at 800 on the UWS. It was so nice for ten weeks without any of that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:15 PM Flag

My DH's chewing. It's always bugged me and now it drives me right up the wall because he's always around. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:28 PM Flag

[ - ] We are planning a major renovation/addition to our country house next year and one of the rooms that will be redone is currently falling apart--literally, the plaster is cracking and falling off the walls. This will be a very expensive repair only to be torn out in 6-12 months. I'm thinking of simply covering things with a peel and stick wallpaper. Has anyone used any and did it work? Obviously longevity is not a huge issue but I need something that can handle moisture from daily showers. Also, I'm looking for a brand that has more traditional designs if anyone has any recommendations. Thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:55 PM Flag

I don’t think the peel and stick will be heavy enough to cover. I covered a bad wall with some heavy wall covering that had a texture and was paintable designed for such surfaces. They do them in a lot of different motifs. Kind of like This: https://www.familyhandyman.com/diy-advice/cover-cracks-with-wall-liner/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:43 PM Flag

If you are renovating why not take advantage and do that room the right way, it seems wasteful not to and it will come back to haunt you [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:44 PM Flag

We are renovating next year and the room will be gutted. I need something right now that will hopefully get us through the summer and maybe fall if school doesn't start in September. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:18 PM Flag

Just leave it alone. Why waste time and energy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:38 PM Flag

Because the plaster is falling on the floor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:59 PM Flag

[ - ] What’s for breakfast? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:25 PM Flag

Smoothie blueberries, almond milk, 2 pitted dates for sweetness. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:26 PM Flag

Smoothie blueberries, almond milk, 2 pitted dates for sweetness. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:26 PM Flag

Oop, sorry [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:26 PM Flag

np: you eat enough for two ;-) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:28 PM Flag

Or-Ha! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:31 PM Flag

This is called a 'Sharjah' milkshake, btw. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:27 PM Flag

I’ve never heard of that. I googled it but I’m getting a lot of results. I still don’t understand what it means. Feel free to clarify. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:29 PM Flag

+1 it is my favorite, though I have a tablespoon of natural PB with seeds in my smoothie [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:44 PM Flag

What is this? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:23 PM Flag

Just a shake with banana and a special name [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 06:53 PM Flag

All bran cereal with skim milk [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:26 PM Flag

cashew-gurt with walnuts, raisins, cinnamon. v8 green juice. coffee. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:28 PM Flag

coffee, fruit salad, spoonful of peanut butter [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:33 PM Flag

Egg and fruit salad [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:35 PM Flag

Coffee and a sausage patty. Kids had breakfast sandwiches. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:47 PM Flag

Coffee and toast with almond butter [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:50 PM Flag

English muffin with peanut butter, coffee. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:51 PM Flag

Toast with a fried egg and hot sauce on it [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:13 PM Flag

egg bites [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:29 PM Flag

Oatmeal and a smoothie - mango, raspberry, milk, protein powder and spinach. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:11 PM Flag

coffee. just coffee. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 07:09 PM Flag

[ - ] Can anyone suggest a gift card (not Amazon) that can be sent electronically. It’s for a 10 year old boy. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:04 PM Flag

Barnes and Noble [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:08 PM Flag

Lego - and why not Amazon? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:27 PM Flag

OP: just wanted something different. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:41 PM Flag

Amazon is the worst. How about giving someone else some business? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:51 PM Flag

Our local bookstore doesn't have electronic gift cards but they will give you a gift card number that you can send along with a note - works the same way. I bet almost any small local business will do something like that for you, and they need the support. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:42 PM Flag

gamestop [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:50 PM Flag

+1 If the kids is a gamer (check with parents!!) a platform-specific gift card like Nintendo, Xbox, Playstation, etc. will be loved [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:39 PM Flag

target [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:05 PM Flag

Walmart [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:17 PM Flag

[ - ] First time homebuyer here. Can someone explain what a mortgage broker does? Also - if you had a friend who did this would you use them or is it a bad idea? Thank you. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:02 PM Flag

They shop and secure mortgage rates [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:08 PM Flag

Right. But can’t you do this on your own? Or is it too much? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:16 PM Flag

Before you start looking at homes you will want a pre-qualification letter from the broker. This tells the seller that you can afford the home. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:54 PM Flag

You don't have to use a broker, you could go directly to a bank. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:57 PM Flag

A good one will seer you to the best product, and a bad one will steer you to his company's. You can easily shop for a mortgage yourself the same way you would shop for a car. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:16 PM Flag

[ - ] Morning vent....I wish there were a standard set of screen time rules that apply to all kids (whatever that might be). I know everyone has different views and tolerance but there is so much haggling on what other kids do and don't do. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:33 AM Flag

Oh yes! We've come to realize that one of our kids seems to be quite popular. Several friends beg him everyday to play with them on Minecraft and the poor fellow feels that he has the moral duty to be there for them (eye roll). We try to push back but it's complicated because those other kids are online all day long. DS can log in at anytime and will find them. Some parents seem to have completely given up with screen time. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:50 AM Flag

NR: We're in that camp. If you don't have childcare, what else are you supposed to do? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:18 PM Flag

Yes, I used to be very strict and now I have given up on limiting screentime. My kids are probably the ones distracting kids whose parents are more strict. Asking the chat while they are trying to do schoolwork etc. But my kids are getting their work done so I feel like they are managing it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:58 PM Flag

Poster above - dh and I both work long hours. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:59 PM Flag

We don’t compare our choices with others. Our view is “you do you” [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:58 AM Flag

Same. We don't limit screen time but respect others who do. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:29 PM Flag

Yes we often find our 10yo DS was being interrupted during his home schooling sessions by friends in other schools who wanted to play games [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:26 PM Flag

I have been posting about this! I wish the same thing for phones for us adults too.lol. I am getting my kids fitness trackers and saying they need to get x amount of exercise everyday. we are in the suburbs with plenty of opportunities for safe exercise options (trampoline,pool, bike riding) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:46 PM Flag

plus I don't want to be crazy strict as that is how the kids socialize, but too much of a good thing... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:47 PM Flag

I'm shocked by how much time some kids seem to be online. Good students, play a sport and an instrument and yet they are constantly calling and texting ds to ask for a gaming session. Half the time ds is at either sports practice or instrument lesson. I can't figure out how these kids have so much free time. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:50 PM Flag

Maybe your DS could use a bit MORE free time. Everyone needs some time to unwind and just chill. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:03 PM Flag

I think a couple of hours a day is plenty. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:23 PM Flag

Before pandemic, I was very strict. My kids (9 + 12) got 1 hr of screentime Saturday and Sunday, usually watching a show or movie. Post pandemic, all their work is online and they are on screens for hours every day. Here's what they are allowed to do without checking w me: schoolwork, zoom calls for school or activities (dance, bookclub, theatre group, girl scouts, music lessons), listen to music, chat with friends, and email friends. They have to ask me before zooming with friends, playing an online game, or watching a show. They mostly like zooming with friends and aren't too interested in games and shows. At first it made me sad that they were always staring at a screen, but it is kind of their whole world right now. Also, dh and I both work ft and can't possibly monitor them all the time. I do think dds may be easier than boys bc they are generally less interested in video games which can be somewhat addictive. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:55 PM Flag

I heard from a colleague that he just lets his kids play on device screens until they run out... only one recharge a day. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:05 PM Flag

I have completely thrown out screen time limits for my DCs (age 12 and 14). They've done a great job with remote school, and they have literally no other way to connect with friends. Obviously I'll dial this back when life goes back to semi-normal, whenever that may be. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:06 PM Flag

I have 19 yo twins who both say they're so glad they didn't grow up w/ screens and that they got to have a real childhood. (only bc they weren't really a thing until they were in middle school, not bc I'm some amazing mom - ha - I'm sure would've been in the trenches battling w/ them about it) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:26 PM Flag

[ - ] Pandemic or not, I think I like the idea of a hybrid model for school 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:16 AM Flag

Your job is not in jeopardy? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:30 AM Flag

This first part is embarrassing to admit but I belong to Mensa and although I haven't read much of their material in recent years for many years I did read their newsletters and one of the most common themes was bringing in a certain amount of video learning to classrooms across the county. The idea is that for a small amount of money you can bring TO ALL STUDENTS pre-recorded (or live) lessons presented by experts in their fields who are engaging and/or high energy. Students all across the country would benefit from learning from experts who love their fields and who are bright and well spoken and who can make learning cool. It would take a nice amount of pressure off of our teachers if they could rely on this for an hour per day, it would break things up for the students, and it would ensure that all kids get some top quality education. I am very tempted to bail on my (kind of lame) career and make a run at this initiative. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:32 AM Flag

np: do it. Distance learning has been the best thing ever for my DC who is gifted [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:34 AM Flag

OR: thank you, internet stranger/friend! Your words have given me a boost. I know a few people who are involved in NYC politics and I think I am going to reach out tomorrow. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:37 AM Flag

Gifted as in on the spectrum? Socially inept? That's what screens do to minds, hinder EI and social development. Nothing wrong with that, but I'd rather have my smart kids who are also socially competent. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:45 AM Flag

Just stop [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:13 AM Flag

pfft lol [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:10 AM Flag

STFU [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:09 PM Flag

Well, your kids clearly have a great role model for social competency. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:18 PM Flag

Thumbs up [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:09 AM Flag

I did this with my kids and then we’d discuss whatever we watched. Lots of great programs out there beyond dolphins and monkeys, etc. like How It’s Made or Dirty Jobs or Unearthed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:11 AM Flag

I like it too, but I've been happy with remote learning for my DCs overall. Keep in mind that they're in 6th and 9th grade, so I can happily WFH and they don't need any hand-holding. I've always thought the educational model of the "flipped classroom" sounded good as well. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:51 PM Flag

The home schooling thing for my teens has me wondering about all the pressure kids have to be social all day long. I am no Mensa member and I went with the flow that it is important. Colleges like to see extracurricular activities so my kids were in school, clubs or sports, scouting, volunteer hours (from school and scouting) and you know they don't mill any of it. Maybe before it was just too much. It wasn't always this way that kids were out of the house building resumes and learning social skills/networking. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:51 PM Flag

I think school is only partially for academics. That has been fine with online learning. What is missing is the social growth and emotional development - you get none of that with a virtual model. I HATE the idea of making our dcs a bunch of bots. It works for socially inept children or children who are on the spectrum or have a hard time socially - otherwise it is terrible for mental health [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:07 PM Flag

Do you think rephrasing your earlier comment and posting it again isn't obvious? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:16 PM Flag

LOL, this. Apparently not very good at taking social cues even when they’re very obvious and direct. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 05:27 PM Flag

<3 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:50 PM Flag

The in school part is necessary for face-to-face interaction but having one or two days during the week of remote learning could be healthy. Overall less stressful so kids have days to do homework and still be productive without having to stay up so late to do hw after extracurriculars. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:08 PM Flag

[ - ] I have been working FT and childcare (dh helping obv) since march - 2 ds 4 and 6. And when I think of school not opening in fall I literally feel sick. Anyone else? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:54 AM Flag

and btw this not a post about the rights or wrongs of opening. more just how i actually feel. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:55 AM Flag

Yep, I'm the poster just below you. I can't deal with school not opening. This is wrecking me. Single parent, worried I'm going to lose my job. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:58 AM Flag

Hello Single Parent worried you will lose your job -- I'm Single Parent worried I will lose my job. Already had a pay cut. And have not had help since March. It's me and kiddo 24/7. Worried too I will lose my freaking MIND. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:11 AM Flag

my mind keeps going to like - there must be a way to fix this. Like there must be enough buildings and space and responsible human adults to somehow make this work. I literally cannot mentally accept this is a thing that may happen. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:12 AM Flag

OR: Hello twin! I don't have to worry I will lose my mind because it's already gone. I'm a total mess. I hope you're hanging in there. I'm the type of person who cries once a year whether I need it or not. These days...it's daily. Complete shitshow. I keep trying to make it better somehow, create a better schedule, let things go...nothing works. I hate covid. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:19 AM Flag

I feel like a shitty parent every single day. 100% of all days. it's making me lose it. and i am a shitty parent! bc kids should not be parented by a person who is on always on zoom. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:25 AM Flag

yes me too - i cant deal. This is not good for any of us [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:12 AM Flag

yes me too - I cannot deal at all. They need to go back to school [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:13 AM Flag

I am ok to take my chances. Under 50, all healthy in my household. I think at-risk groups should continue to isolate, but I am at the end of my wits and willing to go back at this point. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:52 AM Flag

But the other people that your kid will interact with may have elderly or other factors that make the exposure unsafe. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:53 PM Flag

yes. same here (kids are younger). i just keep thinking schools will open there is no WAY they can do this to so many working parents. i literally cry in the bathroom every other day its just too much. single parents out there you are heroes. this is just an impossible task. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:59 AM Flag

I'm with you. I'm the only person on my team with kids & the last one hired. It will absolutely be my head on the chopping block if my company has layoffs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:14 AM Flag

I am frantically worried about this on so many levels. From our jobs to the safety of little kids who are stuck at home, with no supervision (which is what will happen for so many). Did you read that horrifying article in the Times about the surge of child abuse during the pandemic? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:28 PM Flag

[ - ] Just doing a s/o of the post right below. I was on a zoom call with a few DOE staff tonight and some other parents, school administrators. No one has a solid answer. From what I gleaned, there's no way schools are going back 100% in September. There's just no way to sort all the safety/distance requirements necessary. I believe schools are planning for the following a) fully back in b) half virtual/half back in c) all virtual. I think they will attempt b. But I think it will end up c. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 AM Flag

They just don't know yet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:54 AM Flag

DOE ny? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:56 AM Flag

OP: Yep [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:56 AM Flag

I think it’s possible. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:59 AM Flag

I just talk to tons of parents who say school HAS to open -- this has been a nightmare. It's unsustainable. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:12 AM Flag

OP: Yes, agree. Everyone is at their wits end. But just because it's unsustainable and a nightmare doesn't mean the DOE will find a way to make it happen. There are so many rules and regulations to consider. We've just hit phase 1. What phase are schools...4? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:15 AM Flag

People saying that school HAS to open doesn't make it possible. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:06 AM Flag

The virus hasn't become less dangerous just because the situation has gotten annoying. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:52 PM Flag

what is possible? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:13 AM Flag

all c makes me want to vomit. HOw long can we live like this? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:14 AM Flag

[ - ] Wednesday Mom here: People asked last week when the protests would start to die down and I said Wednesday. I wasn't kidding, look around. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:48 AM Flag

LOL i remember that! you called it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:54 AM Flag

Thank you. Some people thought it was a joke but I was serious. It's hard to maintain protests like that. There'll be a few more large protests this weekend peaking on Sunday but by this time next week it'll be over except for a handful of people in Foley Square or Fort Greene or wherever. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:01 AM Flag

I thought it was a good prediction at the time and I tip my cap to you. That said, I am also hoping that something else (not deadly but) upsetting happens so that we can keep this movement going. We've got to keep going this time. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:34 AM Flag

No joke. Deadly mosquito borne illness brewing in the northeast. In the medium.com [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:16 AM Flag

Causes EEE virus, 400x deadlier than the flu [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:18 AM Flag

I don't think that's the kind of upsettting she meant. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 09:54 AM Flag

[ - ] What if private schools can meet the safety/distancing standards to open in person by fall but publics can’t? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:01 AM Flag

Then I’m thankful my kids are at private [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:14 AM Flag

Then private schools resume and public schools do not, I assume. It is not an even playing field - private schools tend to have smaller class sizes, more teacher per student, and the financial means (and space) to make safety/distancing possible with some changes/upgrades, while public schools have larger classes, fewer teachers per student, and they lack the financial means, especially in low-income areas. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:19 AM Flag

Simple. Private schools reopen. That's only 5% of the total student population in NYC. Public schools continue with distance learning. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:30 AM Flag

Sucks for us public school families. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:49 AM Flag

I think the way it is supposed to work is that each school or school district submits plans to the governor's office and those plans need to be approved. I'm sure some will be approved and some will not. It may even be building by building. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:13 AM Flag

I don't think this will happen en masse. It would be a huge outcry. I say this as a mom with kids in private. Would be super super not fair. IN other news, I dont get why we can't put our kids in some kind of daily all in one disposable suit and mask. I get that is insane but everything is insane. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:15 AM Flag

Why is it super super super not fair? It's not a matter of privilege. Plenty of people on FA in private. It's a matter of having the least number of children have to suffer from all remote. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 04:19 AM Flag

It is definitely a matter of privilege. There is a small minority of FA kids in private schools and the rest are wealthy (and my kids are in private schools). But that being said, if private schools can open safely, then there is no point keeping kids home out of some kid of misguided "solidarity." I personally hope all schools can open but you need to do it safely. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:15 PM Flag

Privates are much better equipped for remote. I think they'll lean that way for safety reasons. [ Reply | More

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