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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I suddenly became a SAHM and I'm having a huge identity crisis (no issues with SAHM by choice but I was forced out of my job and my career has been a big part of my life) - the reality is that my head hasn't been in the game for the last yr but I honestly feel lost as SAHM...any advice on how to transition? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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Why don't you find another job? I've done sah and woh and the sah did not fulfill me (it actually drove me insanely crazy and had to go on meds - once I returned to work I was back to my old self again). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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A woman's choice in whether or not she sahm vs wohm plays such a huge role in how happy she is. Unfortunately your transition is going to be a bit rough b/c it was not a change you planned on. Can you go back to work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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I just got really beat up at my last job - serious personality conflict with boss and she's evil and my self confidence tanked - i realized i need to find something that really makes me happy and I just don't know what my next step is... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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This was one of the hardest things about becoming a SAHM. I always described myself in terms of my job. I realize now that it was kind of an insecurity for me. You need to be proud of yourself for WHO you are, not WHAT you do. Identify your personal interests. Reading? Fitness? Cooking? Gardening? Languages? History? etc. Take the chance to fulfill those aspects of yourself along with being a parent, but I don't recommend that you simply define yourself as a SAHM (didn't work for me). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:31 AM Flag
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I disagree with this. There is a difference between having a job and having a career. Many people work long and hard to establish their careers and it is an important part of their identity. I think the key is realizing that there are many different roles that go into making up our identity. If you lose one role you have to place more emphasis on the others [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:48 AM Flag
[ - ] how much weight do you gain a couple of days before your period? when does it stay until (how many days into period)? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.01.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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up to five and it usually goes away about 2 or 3 days into my period [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Help, grammar moms: "the article would lay out" or "the article would lie out"? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.01.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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lay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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people lie, things lay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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"lay out," but that's an awkward choice. I'd say the article describes, entails, elucidates, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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>> np: elucidates? wow, you really are a grammar mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:22 AM Flag
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np vocabulary mom, not grammar mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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wow, that's really helpful. thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 10:58 AM Flag
[ - ] 8yo girl sitting in front of us at the SATC movie last nite! Dh said it proably went over her head but this seemed too much. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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wrong on so many levels [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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So sex is wrong but crazy guns and gore are fine? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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I think respnder was referring to the full frontal nudity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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Full frontal and stimulated sex is too much for an 8yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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^simulated...no pun intended. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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Probably went over her head. that said, the violence in so many kids movies these days is crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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ITA. Even Indiana Jones was squeamish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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Movie sucked. she probably fell asleep (my dh did). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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We made a deal: he goes and I will sit through a kids movie (he usually takes them becuase I cannot stand that crap). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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I saw lots of R rated movies with my parents when I was young. My dd will probably not be too regulated either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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Ditto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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me too, i'm not much into censorship of books or movies regardless of age [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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or - I watched all those 70s mysteries with my mom. They were so violent. Had no effect on me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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really, really gross [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:01 AM Flag
[ - ] SO mad. alcohlic brother crashed his car. no collision insurance and now my parents are buying him a car. he lives in their second home and they are essentially supporting him. this has been going on for about three years now. i worry about how much they'll have for retirement since they are supporting him. am i right to worry about this or should i just stay out of it? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:02 AM Flag
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Talk to your parents... suggest alanon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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i have and they are still in deep denial in some ways. they want him out of their house, but he keeps needing from them. i know that eventually i might have to be the one supporting them if they run thin on their retirement funds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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Just keep talking to them... they will come around someday... It's their son, they probably think that they need to support him no matter what. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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yes, but what about their daughter? i feel completely marginalized. like anyhting i say doesn't matter. they've always given money to his kids for birthdays, etc. for college and for my db's they haven't been near as generous b/c they say "we don't need it". dh makes a million + and i think in the back of their minds they rely on this, but i still don't think it's fair and it's hurtful in some respects. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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Honestly, it wouldn't hurt you to seek some kind assistance from alanon or a therapist. I'm not suggesting, in the UB way, that you 'need therapy' but what you are dealing with is hard and finding someone to help you deal with your parents/brother might help you. Your parents are deeply involved with your brother's issues and are clearly enabling them. That must be so hard for you on so many levels. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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no, i think i do need to see a therapist, but i also have a husband that doesn't want anymore time or moeny for that matter wasted on the subject of my brother. dh is angry b/c he wants my parents to get a long term care plan. my parents say they can't afford the extra $500 a month but then they go a buy my brother a car - and so the circle goes. it's very frustrating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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np: I know it's really difficult, but I try to look at my two glorious little DC and wonder how I would act if one of them, after all my best parenting and love, ends up a fuck-up. I think many of us would end up acting just like your parents, despite what we know rationally would be best for everyone involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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yikes. Sorry. My bro is recovering now but it was sad and scary while he was drinking. My mom basically said she would not let him be homeless so she did enable somewhat (never bought him a car though) Maybe you can call alanon and see if they can give you some info to pass on to them. Not much you can really do for any of them though. Very sorry. I know how hard this is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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there's nothing you can do -- a addict will get help when he or she is ready and really wants it. as for your parents, they sound like classic enablers. Al-Anon might help, but if they're in denial, it's not... Anyhow, just MYOB and see what unfolds... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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Was he drinking when he wrecked it? How is he not in jail? How does he have a drivers license? Please convince your parents to get him help!!! We don't need another drunk driver on the road. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] I just read something that I think a lot of us need to consider. Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. Don't keep score. Just keep doing it. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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in your view maybe it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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then maybe do therapy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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huh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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maybe you think DS is only in there 50% and you are doing 100% [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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yes - so then what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:00 AM Flag
[ - ] 2mo has some diaper rash. we usually use a lot of petroleum jelly - any suggestions on what will help heal the diaper rash? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.01.08, 05:46 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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a&d ointment or desitin havee always worked well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:47 AM Flag
[ - ] my 2 yo just told me that the caregiver in the gym grabbed and pinched his arm. what do i do? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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Talk to 2yo again and make sure the story is accurate and then talk to the caregiver and his supervisor if necessary. Not good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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I noticed that when i came to get him, he was crying and he wouldn't even look at her. she also mentioned that i should bring my dcs in at 11:00 when it was slow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I'd talk to 2yo again... make sure not to lead his story. Let him tell you then I'd persue it w/ the gym. If true, I'd be very upset and make sure that caregiver is removed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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np: ditto this...also try to figure out if it was the kind of situation where he was in a spot (it could have been of his own making--such as climbing on top of a toy--or if it was just so busy and older kids were about to trample him) where she had to "save" him. (Once in a while I've had to grab one of my kids as they were about to fall, for example, and while I wasn't mad and didn't do it on purpose, it hurt their arm, kwim?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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talk to caregiver and toddler again. Kids make up things- so you don't want to jump to a quick conclusiion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I asked him several times and even asked if she patted his arm(in a friendly way) and i said "show mommy" and he squeezed my arm and gritted his teeth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Encountering a lot of failure in my job and wonder if I need to do something else. I am in sales/marketing...any suggestions? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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anyone feel like offering some career advice...? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:53 AM Flag
[ - ] My dh may lose a huge account with a big client. It's a big part of his income. I am a little worried. Anyone else gone through this and been okay? tia 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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not me -- but my best friend -- and they were totally terrified but everything was fine. yes, he lost the client, but he ended up moving to a new job and is now doing even better than he was before... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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Well by ok I can say we survived but had a lot less income - client continued to give us some smaller consulting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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does he know why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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happened to us and it actually made DH look for another line of work. So much happier now. Rough patch for awhile [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:48 AM Flag
[ - ] What is the lowest that one can score on the ERBs to be considered at the top Girls school- Brearley, Spence, Chapin? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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Why would you want to put your dc in a school where they rated the lowest on their ERB's? Find a school where they will be amongst the top scoring in the ERB's. You guys are all ridiculous! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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wasn't asking for your opinion on post -just the answers. I am not ridiculous- the system has made me this way.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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To answer your question, no one really knows. There are 99/99/99s who get shut out and there are much lower scores that get in. Everyone has a different story but there isn't any magic cut-off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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of course you know. i used to work at one and the parents that are crazy rich or famous never get "shut out" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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what do you mean: of course you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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people want to know the secret to getting into the tt schools. it's pretty simple. either you are loaded or famous - that takes about 75% of the applicants and then another 10% goes to diversity and the remainding 15% is a crapshot - hopefully you get lucky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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actually 35% of the class is diverse now at most schools- you must not have worked in one in a while... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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no, sorry. i disagree. chapin, brearley and spence do not have 35% of their incoming k classes considered diversity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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I think the statistic is maybe more that 35% of the application pool is diverse, or that the accepted pool is 35% diverse. Ultimately a school cannot control the percentage of its incoming class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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well then things must have really changed in the past two years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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np: it's more like 20-25% - plus living in brooklyn or downtown is considered "diversity" too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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well we are neither one of those.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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did you get in anywhere or were you waitlisted everywhere? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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okay, so you aren't. and most people aren't that either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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correct. and being that there are very few spots, most people aren't getting in. there are something like 500 applicants for the 46-50 spots and the schools will give preference to siblings and legacies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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right- so my question is someone gets on a 94 on the test do they bother?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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depedns on who that someone is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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that someone is the most spectacular kid in the entire world who is not loaded, a minority or loaded :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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then they are sure to get in :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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what is the birth month of this most spectacular kid? I think that a lot of parents try to buck the trend and decide that their kid 'is ready to move on' but the schools don't care what you think, the kid must be in almost every case, on the old side. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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np: if it's important to YOU, then go for it. If not, shoot for something doable for your child (educationally, socially, location, etc) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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yes, absolutely. and do your best on your parent interview--be really prepared, and make sure your DD gets a good night sleep before her visit. signed a non-famous, unloaded mom with girls at one of the schools you mentioned [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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of course they bother. The schools have lots of wealthy parents and some are famous, but I heartily disagree that it is 75% as posted by someone above. Signed, a mom who is on a private school board in NYC (boys' school though). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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We got in with 99/99/99, and I know some who got in with 99/97/98. We are not famous or wealthy. BUT I do know some kids who get in with 97 nd some with maybe 96. Depends on the interview, etc. But your NS director is the real key to the formula - if they want to sell you somewhere they can. I think that the best thing one can do is build a relationship with their director and agree with her where your daughter is best suited to be and has a chance of getting in. We were nobodies with a daughter who just fit in --- and I would not have pegged her for all girls from the start! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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My dd got into one of those with a 96 (and I think there are plenty with her score and 95s as well) and out ps director had no relationship with any of those schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 03:48 PM Flag
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brearley accepted a 95 from our ps this year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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Diversity? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Sorry if this is TMI, but we don't have "post inside" anymore (I think!). Last week I started bleeding unexpectedly. I've never had this happen (i just had my period 2 weeks ago)and I'm a bit concerned. Do I call my OB tomorrow if it's still happening? What could it be? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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^^^ACK-I meant last night, not last week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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are you on the pill? it could be breakthrough bleeding. it started to happen to me a lot after i had kids... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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I am-I'm starting my second week. I feel fine-no cramping, etc. It just surprised me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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it stinks -- i never had it after DS but after i had DD, it happens a lot. really stinks... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:35 AM Flag
[ - ] anything going on in NYC today? TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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million parades to avoid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:24 AM Flag
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Strawberry festival at the Brick church [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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PS 87 postponed their fair from yesterday until today (West 76th bet. Amst/Col. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Why is there no time stamp anymore? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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it's under options [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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np: i can't even find options [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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click on the word 'options' immediately to the right of the word reply at the end of a string. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:55 AM Flag
[ - ] My parents want to sell their house themselves (i.e. no broker). Where can they post it online other than Craig's List? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:14 AM Flag
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What state do they live in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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NY State, near NJ. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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Try Zillow? My gf is an agent and she says the other agents ignore fsbo listings so don't expect much from them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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lol, this is going to go well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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yeah what a great time for DIY. The market is in flames and her 60-year old parents are going to become real estate sharks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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