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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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think therefore I am [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:38 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:39 PM Flag
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came, I saw, I conquered [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:41 PM Flag
[ - ] I know how dumb this is going to sound - but what's the difference between genes and chromosomes? I mean, if you had (or lost) a baby w/ chomosomal defects, is that better/worse or more/less likely to happen again than if you had (or lost) one w/ genetic defects? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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the genes are on the chromosomes. but in the example you are giving, you are using them interchangebly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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omg google [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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that's always the reply from someone who doesn't know enough to articulate an answer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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i think it's confusing b/c genetic diseases are used in two ways. a disease where there's something wrong with the genetic material (e.g. down syndrome is an extra chromosome, trisomy is extra material on a chromosome i think) is called a genetic problem. but people also talk about genetic problems when they are referring to hereditary issues (like tay-sachs, sickle cell anemia, etc). The genetic problems like chromosomal defects are random (fate? predetermined? sent from God?) but aren't more likely to recur in someone who has experienced it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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this is not true. chromosomal defects are likely to reoccur in people with balanced translocations, for example [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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meant as a reply to the "this is not true" poster (there's no reply button there). balanced translocations have some sort of hereditary component. i don't know that much about it but i know that after i miscarried my ob wanted to test both me adn dh, so obviously there's a hereditary issue. and in any case, my point was really to address the op's confusion. some genetic problems are hereditary and have a higher likelihood of recurring. other genetic defects are "random" and someone who has had it isn't more likely to have it again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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A chromosomal defect is a type of genetic defect. Hundreds of thousands of genes are located on each chromosome, of which there are 22 different ones, plus the X and Y. Chromosomal defects are more likely with advanced maternal age, and there are rare chromosomal defects that can be in many but not all cells of your body and could therefore show up repeatedly in embryos, even though you (or dh) have no symptoms of the defect yourself. Otherwise, the term 'genetic defects' usually refers to abnormalities caused by a problem in a single gene, such as cystic fibrosis. In this case, it is much more likely that the same problem could recur in another pregnancy. It is not at all a stupid question. Unfortunately, we all took high school biology a long time ago and before the central importance of this information in education was fully appreciated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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technically there are 23 pairs of chromosomes in a human. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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That's why I said 22 different PLUS X and Y. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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its not clear in your answer that there are 46 intotal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:36 PM Flag
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Well, thanks for clarifying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:38 PM Flag
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you sound quite informed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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to answer your question, i think having a chromosomal defect in a baby is a totally random thing, so if it happened to you, on your next pregnancy you are essentially just like any other pg woman. But with genetic defects, it could be that 1/4 of your babies would be affected, or whatever the odds are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:34 PM Flag
[ - ] psychic mom? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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she knew you were coming and ran away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] How long did you wait after birth to start having sex again? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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still waiting ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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six weeks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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6mos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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1 day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] OMG I hate this new website..bring back the old urban baby...it's hard to follow :( 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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go to the new forum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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on urbanbaby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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no the other one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Settle an argument between DH and I: How long does the average BJ take? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.02.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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forever. way too long [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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15 minutes = tooo long [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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OP: that's my limit, too. He is thinking I am unreasonable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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My dh is same way - says he can "cum faster" w/ reg sex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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6-8 minutes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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sometimes it feels like 50! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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I find its quicker the more "rough"/ fast/ into it I am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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average would be about 10 min, but with slow teasing/spacing it out with other stuff can be much longer, of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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OP: Maybe my problem is that when he gets a BJ, DH is usually drunk. I am going to start refusing if he has had more than one glass of wine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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Good thinking. Any kind of alcohol acts as a retardant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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i thought marriage ended this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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Until the woman throws up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:25 PM Flag
[ - ] When did your ds stop wearing a pull up at night? My ds is 4yo and still wakes up with a wet pullup every night. Ped says not to even think about it until he's consistently dry and that it's not a big deal, but he just seems so old to be wearing a pullup. He doesn't want to wear it anymore. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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dd is almost five and still wears a diaper at night. she's dry about 85% of the time. for the past six months dh has been saying she's too old. but i'm glad we didn't push it. i see she's doing it at her own pace. 3yo ds is still having a wet diaper at night most nights. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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mine just stopped - he's 3. I tried putting him in underpants before he had dry diapers at night, and he wet the bed pretty much every night for a week. when I asked the ped she said not to give him the experience of failure, but to put back the diapers until he was ready. she said I could try every few weeks, but I didn't again. DS started keeping diapers dry on his own a few weeks later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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my dd wore one until she was 7 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:50 PM Flag
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My ds did, I think he was 5 when he stopped. he just turned 6, and if he doesnt go just before bed he will wet himself. DD was dry at night by 2. Ped says wait until he's 7, no treatment until then. Your ds is normal, I agree with your ped. You can try to stop drinks an hour before bed, wake him when you go to bed, but all of that is not going to help. just have to wait until he outgrows is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] dh comes back from overseas TOMORROW. it's been SIX MONTHS! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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that's great! are you excited or nervous? or both? how old is/are dc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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not nervous, think he'll have to majorly readjust though. dd is 3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:48 PM Flag
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does she remember him? that has to be fantastic for you. is he home to stay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:56 PM Flag
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yeah, she knows daddy, been talking to him on the phone, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:10 PM Flag
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I cannot even imagine. Enjoy having him home!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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yay! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:51 PM Flag
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congrats! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:27 AM Flag
[ - ] i've seen others tell this in the past -- now it's actually my turn, to my surprise: had anal the other night. was amazing and not painful (though we totally eased into it). wow. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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dh would like to do this, and i'm open to the idea, esp now that scar tissue post-partum has made regular old sex painful, but he's so big! it worries me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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we'll, we've had a dismal sex life for close to three years because my libido is so low after having dc and still nursing a couple of times a day. when we do it, it's great, but i have a hard time getting into it. this time, i had already come several times, and so i was really relaxed, and i actually asked him to do it. my advice is to use lots of lube, go very slowly, and, if you can, have lots of foreplay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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Nassssty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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I herd that doing anal regularly helps with bowel movements. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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I'm betting a guy told you this. LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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A gay man told me this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:42 PM Flag
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ok, a guy who wants to stick his dick in someone's ass told you this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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No, someone who has had a dick stuck up in him for a while now. From experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:44 PM Flag
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'wow' indeed. i am you. it has really helped spice things up. while not a frequent thing, it's our secret weapon when things get boring. both work up to it really slowly and love it, usually it seems to kick start a really hot phase in our marriage that can last weeks/months! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:36 PM Flag
[ - ] early pg. signs: anyone's cm increase post-conception/ovulation? only 5 dpo so probably not related, right? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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mine did and i'm 6 dpo today. wondering same... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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oooo! good luck! i hope we are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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me too! keep us posted [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Prek debacle is making me want to finally pack it up and move family out of NY (I've toyed with idea before, I think this may be last straw). Where should we go. Love Park Slope. small, artsy, pretty, liberal towns, great/innovative schools ala brooklyn New School most important on the agenda, not pricey-we're tired of feeling like the poor neighbors. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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Hastings on Hudson - house might be too $$ but co-ops, condo might work for you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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I grew up in H-O-H :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.09.08, 10:11 PM Flag
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I went to college in Providence and loved it there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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Prov is AWESOME. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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same here. I'd love to move back now that I have a family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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we moved somewhere completely off the radar. nice, pretty houses. people are laid back, kids are nice and normal, it's such a pleasure. i called a local private school and was prepared for all sorts of jumping through hoops (i kept reading the posts here) and it was just "sure, fill out the form. ok. school starts in september. we'll see you then. there are nice towns out there. just keep looking till you find what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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why not a public school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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we wanted something more parochial. we could've done public and then separate schooling but we ended up finding something we liked that combined everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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Maplewood, NJ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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np: Schools are not innovative. OP's list is a tough one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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np: maplewood and south orange have a magnet school which might fit the bill (seth boyden). if not there's a great coop school in montclair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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Didn't know about the coop in Montclair, but friends have been complaining it's really hard to get into the magnet school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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so you want out of nyc because you didnt get you kid into free pre-k. AFAIK, in the past, people had to camp overnight on line to guarantee prek registration in parkslope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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uh, no-not the point really. We didn't expect to get in for prek, but the way the DOE handled it-not following it's own criteria, etc. It makes me scared for the process next year and then middle school, high schools. Not sure I want that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] names in a media list I'm looking at that seem cool - 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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What does this mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:16 PM Flag
[ - ] work at home moms - what is your best staying focused tip? I have so much to do - then get sidetracked with laundry or something house related or a snack! How do I keep at it for long stretches at time? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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leave tv off. do your chores before and after work. Go out for a walk at lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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agree. also, always always be dressed and at your desk by 8 or 9. It helps me too to get out and get coffee before working [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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op - I usually go to gym in am - back by 9:30 - would it be better to take a break at lunchtime and go then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:07 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have experience with trisomy 18? my good friend's baby (fetus?) was just diagnosed. i don't know what to say to her. ihaven't spoken to her, only heard through her mom (family friend). i'm so sad for her. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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i don't. how sad for your friend... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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yes. i can't imagine... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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Me. My 2nd pg ended in mc at 8 wks. Genetic testing showed Trisomy 18. It rarely survives to birth. if it does, I don;t think the baby survives very long. Severe issues. Sorry for your friend. How many wks is she? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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22. maybe 23 already. i don't know what they plan on doing. it's such a horrible thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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How did she find out? Amnio? Yeah, that woudl be very hard. No real choice though. Odds are, it won't even make it to term anyways. What did her ob say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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i don't know what her doctor is telling her. i'm not sure if it was an amnio. i think they saw something odd on the the ultrasound and then did an amnio. but again, i'm not really sure. i'm hearing everything through her mother (and some through my mother that got it through her mother) so most of it is pretty vague. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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hopefully the child will just die in utero. i think an abortion that late term will be grueling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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what a nightmare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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oh dear, so sorry. trisomy 18 (I think it's called Edwards Syndrome) has a more severe retardation associated with it than trisomy21 (Downs). Many fetuses don't survive to birth. So sorry for your friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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i shouldn't do or say or send anything, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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I guess I'd wait to see if she's going to terminate or what. But IMHO you can always send a card that just says "thinking of you" . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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tell her you're there for her and ask if you can do anything. Keep in touch and make sure she has someone to talk to. But I wouldn't send anything until you know what's going to happen. You wouldn't want to be sending condolences when there is still a live baby involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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thank you (and the OR above you). i guess i'll call or send a card. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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does anyone know of someone terminating a baby with trisomy 18 and then going on to having a healthy baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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or from above. Of course people do -- this is a chromosomal defect, not og genetic origin and has nothing to do with future pregnancy,. It's a random even like most miscarriages.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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yes, my friend has two beautiful healthy dds after losing her son to trisomy 18. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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