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Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] wwyd? i just went on vacation with my parents (without dh) and dd (2yo). On the way back home my mom and i got in a huge fight (she started it). she said that my dh and i have too many rules (like wanting dd to nap during the day and go to bed before 9 pm) and went on to call me a cold, hateful bitch. she also said that she has always hated dh and that she and my step father feel like we tell them how to do everything with dd. she has always done this to me throughout my life, making me feel like everything is ok and then blowing up at me and throwing everything in my face and calling me names. i am so mad i never want to talk to her again but i do not want to keep dd away from her. how would you handle it? tia 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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sorry so long in the subject box [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:55 AM Flag
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i would only let dd have short supervised visits with your mom. she doesn't sound like someone i would want my dd to learn from. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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ditto - sorry about that. seems horrible!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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i have similar issues with my parents. i cut down contact with them. only see them 2x a year for ds. i told my parents that they had their rules, I have mine and that child discipline changes over time and this is how it is done now. As for not liking your dh, I would say, "well it is good that you didn't marry him!" But in fairness, i would try to cut down on directing their interaction with dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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she sounds unbalanced. I'd distance myself, keep communication poite and short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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dear God. This sounds horrible. I would write her a letter telling her you love her but your relationship is toxic, and if she's not willing to seek counseling you have no choice but to limit the time she spends with dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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op: that is the exact word ("toxic") i used when telling all of this to my dh. i don't even want to go to counseling because i am so over dealing with this. she is so childish and fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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That sounds like a nightmare. All you can do is change the way you interact with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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You are not going to change your mom. Neither is a therapist. Figure out how to deal, figure out what kind of relationship you can have with her and go from there. Once I realized this my relationship with my mother got so much easier. I just tell her, "Mom, you can't speak to me like this." If she doesn't stop, I give her a final warning, "Mom, stop now or I'm PNG'ing you for three months." (PNG: persona non grata) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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I dont get all the responders here: Obviously OP got along well enough to vacation with her parents for a considerable amount of time - and I suspect OPs parents paid the bill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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op: this is true. i thought these kinds of arguments were a thing of the past. we have not had a fight in three years. i must say however, that it wasn't much of a vacation for me. i was more like the nanny. they played with her, got her all wound up, wanted to keep her out late, babysat one time the whole vacation, and then expected me to "lighten up" when she would go to sleep or woke up at 5 am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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^when she would not go to sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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Who cares who paid the bill? You read this and make OP the bad guy here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:25 AM Flag
[ - ] I am going to finish a proposal and not think about g/t for one hour and then go home and check the mail. think i can do it? proposal HAS to get out - too early to go home now and check...please let this misery end today. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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DOe will tell you if yo ucall tehm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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Just give them a call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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i tried - got vm - has anyone else gotten through? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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People have posted on Insise Schools that they have. Are you trying 212-374-4948 or 212-374-5972? Try both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:08 AM Flag
[ - ] For those who give formula - do you boil your water? What bottles do you use? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.16.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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no. I used room temp. water from the Brita pitcher. I used drop-ins from Playtex. No BPA and great if you travel a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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w/ the drop ins - do you mix your formula in a separate "bottle/pitcher"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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nope, mixed it in the bottle. filled water, added formula [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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i used poland springs or occasionally tap water [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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where are you? whats the water like there? we're in nyc where water is fine so we'd use brita (gives flouride) and bottled when travelling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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I use bottled water and a bottle warmer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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bottle warmer?! you are a nice mommy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Poll: What are you wearing? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.16.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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Navy Tory Burch polo (flame away!!), jeans, gold flip flops [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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black capri pants, turquois t-shirt, j crew flip flops [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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bamboo t shirt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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Jcrew Skorts, tank top, white cardigan, born sandals [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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my nightgown [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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lilly pulitzer polo, j crew capris and grossgrain ribbon flip flops [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:26 AM Flag
[ - ] my dh has about 125 shirts, some of them from the 80s. how do i get him to weed out some of these useless clothes? space is limited. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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hand him a garbage bag while you are holding a baseball bat. i did this with my dh as he went through all his dot.com startup t-shirts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Throw them out when he isn't around and just don't mention it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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don't think i can do that. and he always knows what is missing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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suggest throwing away any shirts not worn in the last year? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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Ask him to store some of the things he doesn't wear that often. Buy some nice underbed storage boxes from Hold Everything, and put cedar in with them to "keep them nice." In three years, "notice" the dust on the boxes and ask if you can throw them out. Or send them to MIL's house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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good idea. thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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My DH's clothes are "stored" in a hanging bag at the back of my closet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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Have him go through closet and take out ONLY those shirts he has worn in the last year. Then take trashbag to all other shirts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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can you suggest he give them to charity? since he couldn't possibly wear all of them, and someone else might be able to get good use out of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Help! Does anyone have experience with a dc with "night terrors"? My ds wakes up sometimes like he is possessed. How do I help him? (18 mo btw) 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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i found that there was nothing i could do for dc when this happened. i just stayed in dc room or brought dc to my room. it only lasted a few months (happened 1-2 times per week max) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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ok. he just had one with his nap. it is horrible. nothing helps. i go in and try to hold him but he flips out worse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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np. my ds has had a couple of these and I've found it's much better to leave him to it. If I try to touch/comfort in anyway it makes him worse. If they are happening regularly speak to a Dr. I read that they are not meant to have more than a certain number (3 I think) before it needs following up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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the best thing you can do is simply let them alone - don't try to hold or wake them. Just make sure they can't get hurt. When you try to wake them - it is worse. It will pass - is he/she going through an adjustment - new baby or new sleeping routine? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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yes, i am not going to go in anymore. no adjustment that i know of... maybe he is learning to talk? i have heard with walking and talking the brain activity causes sleep problems....? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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I babysat my niece over night and experienced what my sister goes through. Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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dd woke up screaming in the middle of the night last night. I asked her what was wrong and she says "Swiper was trying to eat me!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Yoga on the UES? Nothing too intense, evening classes... 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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yoga works, 3rd/77 around, lots of classes, have liked all teachers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:38 AM Flag
[ - ] BEST online site for bridal shower invitations? THANKS! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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google "fine stationery" - not sure of the exact address, but the site should come up... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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thanks - need something chic and don't want to look at 500 options i'll never make a decision [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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go to etsy -- they have some fabulous ones [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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paperstyle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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i love iomoi.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Help. Need inexpensive catering ideas for 100ppl. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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What kind of situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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Outdoor lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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Buffet of cold or warm-temperature self-serve foods. The outdoor suggestion might be a good one, but then you'll have to get tables & linens, which can get expensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:37 AM Flag
[ - ] What's the difference between self absorbed and selfish? I think my sister is the first but not sure about the latter 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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self absorbed for me is more about what they talk about/how much/little they listen. selfish is about action. i think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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Self absorbed = not being aware of others issues, problems, life. Selfish is not willing to do for others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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I am self-absorbed, but I try not to be selfish. Honestly, I am aware that I talk about myself too much and say thoughtless, insensitive things. But I don't think I'm entitled to, and I apologize and stop myself when I catch it. Selfish goes with entitled, IMO. People who trod over other people's feelings to serve their own desires without a scruple or second thought. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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you are selfish when you dokminate the conversation. i'd rather be selfish than self-absorbed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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I'm sure you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Matchmaker mom - did you get Anderson? I was the one who wanted to be your friend. We didn't get A - but D3 school. You? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.16.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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Posted elsewhere that we got 166--are you the one who got 9? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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She posted below - 166, 3rd choice, happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:43 AM Flag
[ - ] I watched the A-List Award show thing on Bravo. What's all this with the references of being gay and watching Bravo? Is Bravo the unofficial TV channel for gay folks? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.16.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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SERIOUSLY??? that's crazy talk, i think. or is it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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Bravo put itself on the map with Queer Eye and soon followed with Project Runway. A huge portion of its core audience in gay and its initial programming was designed to appeal to that core. It is also one of the few networks to have shows centered around gay characters (Work Out, Queer Eye, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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Gay! Clang, clang, goes the trolley--kind of gay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:40 AM Flag
[ - ] dd is 1 yr & doesn't nap in her crib - always in stroller, even when we are at home. i want her to start napping in her crib - anyone btdt? tia 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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yes, 2.5 year old same deal. so, i really have no advice for you other than try to start teh routine and see if you can get her doing it. but, if you can't, enjoy the time to yourself out in the world with he rsleeping in the stroller, have a nice lunch, etc. but you're not alone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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