UrbanBaby

06.16.08, 09:50 AM General Topics
13 replies

wwyd? i just went on vacation with my parents (without dh) and dd (2yo). On the way back home my mom and i got in a huge fight (she started it). she said that my dh and i have too many rules (like wanting dd to nap during the day and go to bed before 9 pm) and went on to call me a cold, hateful bitch. she also said that she has always hated dh and that she and my step father feel like we tell them how to do everything with dd. she has always done this to me throughout my life, making me feel like everything is ok and then blowing up at me and throwing everything in my face and calling me names. i am so mad i never want to talk to her again but i do not want to keep dd away from her. how would you handle it? tia [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.16.08, 09:50 AM Flag

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sorry so long in the subject box [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:55 AM Flag

i would only let dd have short supervised visits with your mom. she doesn't sound like someone i would want my dd to learn from. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:56 AM Flag

ditto - sorry about that. seems horrible!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:58 AM Flag

i have similar issues with my parents. i cut down contact with them. only see them 2x a year for ds. i told my parents that they had their rules, I have mine and that child discipline changes over time and this is how it is done now. As for not liking your dh, I would say, "well it is good that you didn't marry him!" But in fairness, i would try to cut down on directing their interaction with dd. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:58 AM Flag

she sounds unbalanced. I'd distance myself, keep communication poite and short. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:58 AM Flag

dear God. This sounds horrible. I would write her a letter telling her you love her but your relationship is toxic, and if she's not willing to seek counseling you have no choice but to limit the time she spends with dd. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 09:59 AM Flag

op: that is the exact word ("toxic") i used when telling all of this to my dh. i don't even want to go to counseling because i am so over dealing with this. she is so childish and fake. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:01 AM Flag

That sounds like a nightmare. All you can do is change the way you interact with her. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:02 AM Flag

You are not going to change your mom. Neither is a therapist. Figure out how to deal, figure out what kind of relationship you can have with her and go from there. Once I realized this my relationship with my mother got so much easier. I just tell her, "Mom, you can't speak to me like this." If she doesn't stop, I give her a final warning, "Mom, stop now or I'm PNG'ing you for three months." (PNG: persona non grata) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:06 AM Flag

I dont get all the responders here: Obviously OP got along well enough to vacation with her parents for a considerable amount of time - and I suspect OPs parents paid the bill. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:10 AM Flag

op: this is true. i thought these kinds of arguments were a thing of the past. we have not had a fight in three years. i must say however, that it wasn't much of a vacation for me. i was more like the nanny. they played with her, got her all wound up, wanted to keep her out late, babysat one time the whole vacation, and then expected me to "lighten up" when she would go to sleep or woke up at 5 am. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:15 AM Flag

^when she would not go to sleep [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:16 AM Flag

Who cares who paid the bill? You read this and make OP the bad guy here? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.08, 10:25 AM Flag