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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Anyone hear from their ds/dd’s boarding school about what (tentatively) school might look like in fall? On campus or distance learning? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:27 AM Flag
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Yes, my kids go to two different ones. One will make a final decision on 7/31, the other has said they will have kids on campus, but don't yet know what that will look like. How about you? What did you hear? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:44 AM Flag
[ - ] New first home buyer - friends recommended a friend who is a RE, she sent us listings that were exclusive with her realty co but nothing else and told us we needed to move fast as everything is going quickly. There are a lot of other listings that seem more attractive. Is this normal? or should we seek out an agent who is able to send us the full scope of listings? What is the point of an agent when you can find better listings online? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:16 AM Flag
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Do not go with this lady because she's a friend of a friend. Find other agents and interview them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:24 AM Flag
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Where are you looking? I am an agent in Westchester. Happy to answer any questions but my first response is (1) she should be showing listings of other offices not just hers (2) When we send listings, they can often look like they are “our” listings as everything on our MLS shows up on our website. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:26 AM Flag
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You don't really need your own agent as a buyer. All the listing are online these days. Just contact the seller agents for whichever homes you want to see and they will be happy to do a showing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:30 AM Flag
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We did this and found the perfect home for us in Westport. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:32 AM Flag
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Op: what is the negative for this if you are not represented? Assuming an RE would be able to negotiate the most competitive price and show you ALL listings? What does the selling agent make? and how does this affect the buyer? Apologies for the newbie questions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:50 AM Flag
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It's really not the kind of a negotiation. It's not a merger or a divorce where there are two parties who have already decided they need to do a transaction and now you're negotiating the terms. You're only negotiating against other potential buyers and the seller will take the best offer they can get. You don't need an agent to tell you what you can offer. That is based on how much money you have and how much you think the house is worth after doing your own research. You're likely to get a better deal without an agent because there's no extra fee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:20 AM Flag
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np -- I did it on my own and was fine but of course the seller's agent is going to have their best interests at heart and I was on my own. that's the only thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:41 AM Flag
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This comment is clearly from the agent who doesn’t want to have to split the fee with a buyer’s agent, so always posts this suggestion here when anyone raises the question. Having an agent as a buyer is the usual choice, as she represents your interests, not those of the seller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:54 AM Flag
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That's ironic. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around and you're the RE agent trying to justify your job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:21 AM Flag
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Does the buyer's agent get a financial benefit from showing only their realty listings? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:44 AM Flag
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This is false. The agent is being paid by the seller, therefore, always has the interests of the seller in their minds. That's how they get paid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:47 AM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:04 PM Flag
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I doubt that. Having bought and sold a few times, I 100% agree with this advice. Your offer is much more likely to get accepted if you are coming in without a buyer's agent because the sellers agent doesn't have to share the commission and will do what it takes to make your offer the winning bid. It is unethical, but true and I don't think any agent would confess to the practice. In a competitive market, it makes sense to go in without someone representing you. Most of what they have access to is now available to the general public online. You need to be savvy and careful, but you are in a better position without a broker working for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:42 PM Flag
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100% agree and BTDT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:45 PM Flag
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I found having a buyer's agent very helpful. We were moving from out of state, and this person knew the market and helped us find the right streets for what we wanted, knew tradespeople to contact during and after. And he was paid by the seller, not us! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:17 AM Flag
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ITA. In fact, seller's agents will bend over backward to advocate for you when you work without a buyer's agent because it means they do not have to split their fee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:47 AM Flag
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This is bad advice. The seller pays the agents commission. If you don’t use an agent you are not saving money—the buyers agent simply gets the full 6 percent. The buyers agent is working for the buyer—not you—and will be biased. Your agent should work for you to get you the best price and alert you of any potential cautions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:28 PM Flag
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IME people who work in real estate, e.g. brokers, contractors, interior designers are largely untrustworthy, and I am being kind and sensitive with my word choice here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:12 AM Flag
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np -- agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:42 AM Flag
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+2 Don't work with a buyer's agent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Since private schools counsel out those with ADHD, where do all the kids with ADHD attend private? 57 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:16 AM Flag
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Is this a logic puzzle? The private where I teach has a million kids with ADHD. And teachers too. Look for schools that people talk about as being supportive or gentle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:40 AM Flag
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Thanks. Do you know if Dwight Englewood would fall into that category? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:07 AM Flag
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Current parents can speak to it better than I can, but we have definitely had kids with ADD transfer or graduate to Dwight. Mostly very bright and presenting as either hyper or scattered. My sense is that DE is pretty academic so ADD kids will need strong support and a lot of strategies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:25 AM Flag
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Thanks. Why did they need to transfer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:30 AM Flag
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We're N-8 so wanting to be at a K-12 or joining sibs there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:23 PM Flag
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You are talking about Dwight-Englewood, right? Not Dwight? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:48 PM Flag
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Yes, sorry- Dwight Englewood, the one in NJ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:12 PM Flag
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The lower tiers, of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:13 AM Flag
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I'm only looking at lowers. The parents say they counsel out anyone who needs individual attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:30 AM Flag
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ADHD does not require individual attention. I have a child with ADHD. With a daily dose of ritalin, she doesn't need anything different than all the other kids. Either you refuse to medicate your child, or something other than ADHD is going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:14 PM Flag
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Well aren't you unreasonably judgy? I have medicated my child. Ritalin doesn't work on him, nor do any other drugs we've tried. Drugs only work on about 60-70% of the population. Therefore, some days, he zones out on the lesson and needs a lunch meeting with the teacher to catch up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:29 PM Flag
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I am sorry. You are right. I sounded awful. I am defensive. BTW, I don't think of what you are describing as "individual attention." I was thinking the OP meant more like a SEIT. Every kid needs access to teachers for one reason or another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:41 PM Flag
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Forgiven. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:57 PM Flag
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If the ADHD is mild and medicated, the child might be able to make it through. Otherwise schools like York Prep, BWL and may be Dwight. Dwight will counsel some out to York Prep - owned by members of the same family). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:56 AM Flag
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Know a kid at York in the upper grades, ADHD, has been a good fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:07 PM Flag
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I heard from an education consultant that York is half filled with kids with behavioral problems. More like juvenile delinquency than learning issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:46 PM Flag
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If "behavioral problems" means ADHD to you, then yes. Juvenile delinquency: no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:08 PM Flag
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What? Most high school kids with ADHD do not have behavioral problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:30 PM Flag
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It depends on how well the ADHD is being handled by the family. This notion that all the ADHD kids are counseled out is BS. I know ADHD kids at every private, including several at HM. The kids who get counseled out aren't properly medicated and supported. A high IQ kid with properly managed ADHD can thrive at any school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:12 PM Flag
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My son doesn't respond to drugs. Does that mean it's not "properly managed?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:31 PM Flag
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I apologize for my wording. I should not have said that you are doing all you can. what I should have said is that his disease is not being properly managed, which may mean that his health professionals haven't figure it out yet for him. For example, my DH has a chronic GI issue. No doctor has been able to figure out how to treat it. He is doing all he can in terms of seeking solutions, but his medical issue is not properly managed yet so he can't eat most foods. A child with ADHD that isn't controlled (like many chronic health issues, it can't be cured, only controlled) will have a very difficult time thriving in a mainstream private school. But most kids with ADHD do respond to medication and those kids can be found thriving in every private school in NYC. So I don't accept the premise of OP's question that "private schools counsel out those with ADHD." Instead, private schools counsel out those whose ADHD isn't responding to meds (or, frankly, those whose parents refuse to medicate or refuse to even acknowledge the issue, and I have seen plenty of parents like that at our school) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:17 PM Flag
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If the ADHD is easily controlled it was mild to begin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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Severity is unrelated to responsiveness to meds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:45 PM Flag
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This is not the case for us. Our DC’s ADHD was really bad. The right combination of medication and proper accommodations worked really well and really helped ease a lot of his suffering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:43 AM Flag
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you are actually agreeing with the poster above you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 10:19 PM Flag
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That is simply untrue. That is like saying "if chemo cured your cancer it was mild cancer to begin with." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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NP- IME the kids who thrive at TT with ADHD are not just high IQ. They have very mild ADHD. Remember that ADHD is a spectrum. I have 2 kids with ADHD. One is doing great in high school at a TT and the other one is doing well at York. The one who is at York could have stayed at TT but would have needed very extensive tutoring (and I don't think that is "properly" supporting a child). They both have IQ over 130 and have seen the best psychiatrists for medication management etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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Do you recommend a particular psychiatrist that can help treat and prescribed the appropriate medication for a child with ADHD? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:33 PM Flag
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ITTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:20 AM Flag
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If you can afford private anyway (and therefore don't need to worry about DOE reimbursement) there are great school for kids with LD issues, including ADHD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:52 PM Flag
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Can you give examples? He doesn't need a SN school, just accommodations like sitting in front and extra check-ins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:57 PM Flag
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most private schools accommodate in those ways. What private schools have you looked at? What grade? Does he have standardized test scores to give you an idea of which schools are appropriate academically? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:18 PM Flag
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Why wouldn't you look at the SN schools? They offer all the accommodations very matter of factly and many of them look / feel pretty much like other private schools. School plays, class trips, all the classes you'd expect, prom, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:44 PM Flag
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Because he has been in similar situations before, and not having as severe of difficulties as the other kids, he feels like an outsider there, too. He feels like he fits better, and also does better academically, with similarly abled peers. He is closer to mainstream peers than non. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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My son has ADHD and attends a TT private, he gets loads of support, extra time on tests, has weekly sessions with learning specialist to help him organize and plan his week, his advisor is on top of him, etc. We moved him from public, because we couldn't get any help or support there. I know plenty of kids with ADHD at all levels of private schools, a few at Dalton, Ethical Culture - Fieldston, etc (DS is not in one of those). Every school we applied to discussed the support they provide to kids who need it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:16 PM Flag
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How did you get him into a tt private if he was having learning difficulties? My son gets support at his ms but he's not a 100% student. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:22 PM Flag
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then maybe those schools aren't the right group for you to be looking at academically. Look at Trevor and CGPS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:20 PM Flag
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I happen to know that Trevor does not tolerate learning outside the norm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:01 PM Flag
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Can you give an example? If this child is only ADHD, this is not "learning outside the norm." She says her child has no SN, she says nothing about a LD, just ADHD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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ADHD is a learning disability. My friend has a child at Trevor and they have been trying to get rid of her but she has a sibling at the school and the parents are very involved. She has no behavioral issues but a learning difficulty and anxiety. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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I respectfully disagree. My child has ADHD, anxiety and a processing disorder. She also has no behavioral issues because her ADHD is inattentive type. The processing disorder is a LD, the anxiety is a mental health issue and the ADHD is a medical issue (specifically, neurological). ADHD is NOT a LD. But your friend's child may well have a separate LD. Many people with ADHD also have a mental health dx and/or a LD dx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:48 PM Flag
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Your friend's child has other issues besides ADHD. There are lots of kids at Trevor as well as CGPS with ADHD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:41 PM Flag
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Your friend is in denial about the other things going on with their child. ADHD is not a learning disability. It is not classified as such. It is typically comorbid with other diagnoses including learning disabilities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:48 AM Flag
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I didn't get him in, he got himself in (high school, parents don't matter as much): he aced the interview and did very well on ISEE (8999). His grades were in A-/low 90s average. Agree with poster below, ADHD is not LD. DS has an inattentive type and zero executive functioning skills, but does well with proper supports and extra time on tests. He is now A-/B+ student at TT private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:40 PM Flag
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Did you disclose your son's ADHD diagnosis during the interview? How do you bring up the subject without alarming the school? We are applying and while my son doesn't have any behavioral problems, he does have ADHD and tends to zone out once in a while. He's very bright academically but the ADHD gets in the way. We were hesitant to do medication, but now we see that it works well, and plan keep him on meds throughout the school year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:12 PM Flag
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NP whose child also goes to a TT and also has adhd inattentive type, which sounds like what you are describing -- I see no reason to disclose. This is a medical issue and just like you don't need to disclose diabetes or any other chronic medical condition, you don't have to disclose this. They will see his grades, they will see his test scores and they will interview him. And now that you have him on a medication that works well, the ADHD should no longer interfere with his learning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Thank you - your post was very helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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OP: What about me, though? Meds haven't worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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If your child's ADHD isn't under control in the classroom, then you have a completely different issue. First, you need to figure out if the diagnosis is correct. Maybe the meds aren't working because the doctor is treating the wrong disease. I am assuming here that you have already tried a number of different ADHD meds. If not, then actually the first thing to do is try different meds and the second would be to examine whether the diagnosis is correct. Assuming you have tried various meds and assuming the diagnosis is correct, then I would look to see if there is an additional issue. Many kids with ADHD also have anxiety and executive function issues that each need to be separately treated. In the meantime, I would look at Steiner and BWL. Both small schools on the UES, but very different schools. One very unstructured, one very structured. Without knowing your child, I don't know which is better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:12 PM Flag
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can you recommend a new doctor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:37 PM Flag
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Who have you seen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:37 AM Flag
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^^^ both for meds and for the neuropsych [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:38 AM Flag
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OR whose son is at TT school with ADHD: we didn't disclose anything during admissions process either. The availability of support services was openly discussed at the schools admissions events and there is a section on this topic on DS's school's website describing what support is available. As soon as he was accepted and we made a deposit, we emailed learning specialist and set up a meeting to discuss how to meet DS's needs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:34 PM Flag
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^^ to add to that, our DS sounds just like yours, very bright but zones out and we started meds in middle school which have been very helpful. So good luck with the admissions, there are plenty of kids like him at privates, you'll be happy with the support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:45 PM Flag
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I went to a TT school and had undiagnosed ADHD. I struggled in school, but they just offered more help. They never tried to counsel me out. My family wasn't a big donor, not wealthy in the least. I wasnt a legacy, etc. I think its a myth that they counsel so many kids out. I can only think of 1 that was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:58 PM Flag
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I am the OR whose kid with ADHD is at TT private and totally agree with this. The reason we chose private is for all the extra support. Kids are open about their condition and my son told me there are a few kids who have it as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:42 PM Flag
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I don’t think it is a myth at all but my observation is that it varies with supply and demand. Post 9/11 baby boom, a number of privates, including some with historically so-so reps, became more demanding of students, intolerant of issues and aggressive in pushing some kids out (counseling them out or putting pressure on the families). I hope things will change in the next few years and they will be more supportive of the kids they accepted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend a virtual summer school program (academic camp?) for middle schoolers? Twins going to 7th grade. I need to keep them busy during the mornings so DH and I can focus on work. Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:00 AM Flag
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They could benefit with some extra math and writing, which was good until school moved virtually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:02 AM Flag
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Florentine in Chinatown. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:16 AM Flag
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This is not academic, but it's a virtual filmmaking camp for middle schoolers: https://theautomaticstudios.com/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:13 PM Flag
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Similar question, but for rising 6th grader. I've been looking at one-off classes at www.outschool.com. Any other ideas like this? I also know of idtech.com. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:29 PM Flag
[ - ] I would like to compare black and hispanic kids at SHS back when they were diverse compared to today but INCLUDE the selective charters, prep for prep, teak, Oliver, etc kids. I think there are just as many high achieving black and hispanic kids, they have just opted out of the public system when they were given an option 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:37 AM Flag
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There is a group of families who now spend thousands and 12months prepping their 7 th grader for the test. Back when, it was based more on merit - which would be more diverse, and not who spent most private tutors! We know several who paid $200+ for per hour for private tutoring! It not opting out, it’s about not spending $5000 and tons of hours on prep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:42 AM Flag
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It is also about having access and knowing about programs. Prep for Prep is an amazing program but many parents don't know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:56 AM Flag
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I’m not sure if it depends on the school but for my DS we were contacted by the school counselor. He was selected to go through the process because of his test scores and grades so even if you didn’t know you’d be informed if your DC qualifies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:18 AM Flag
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I’m not sure if it depends on the school but for my DS we were contacted by the school counselor. He was selected to go through the process because of his test scores and grades so even if you didn’t know you’d be informed if your DC qualifies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:18 AM Flag
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There is definitely a large cohort of kids at these schools who were just prepped to death and are not all that bright - no creativity, no spark, no deep thoughts, no writing skills. Just very conscientious, very hardworking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:01 AM Flag
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^^but not necessarily the rich kids fyi. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:02 AM Flag
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On the contrary, it's often children of working class and/or immigrant families. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:51 PM Flag
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DH and I were literally just talking about this. He went to an SHS in the 80s and most of his friends were POC (he is biracial). Back then you went to your local public elementary and middle, then took the test (nobody prepped as crazy as they do now so it was a more even playing field). Now there is more school choice and you're seeing more and more black and hispanic families opt into charters or parochial schools rather than send their kids to subpar neighborhood schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:56 AM Flag
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Kids didn't need to prep, every single ES and MS was tracked with an SP program, and that fed the SHS high schools. When those were removed from minority neighborhoods, the pipeline disappeared too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:02 AM Flag
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This. I was in G&T. Hunter for MS - I didn’t go because of distance and testing with no prep for SHSAT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:12 AM Flag
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If they still had SP in our district, we wouldn't have sent kids to SHS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:46 AM Flag
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+1000. And even in elementary school when classes were tracked, each year kids went in and out of the top class - your fate wasn't decided by one G&T test at age 4. Studies showed that when kids in every single school even in minority and poor neighborhoods were tracked, SHS were much more diverse. There is a direct correlation between removing tracking and the SHS becoming segregated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:49 AM Flag
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So much THIS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:51 PM Flag
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very true, I've seen many examples of high achieving black and Hispanic students choosing full ride at private and boarding schools over SHS. Prep for Prep website boasts about their results: https://www.prepforprep.org/program/placement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:20 AM Flag
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I agree. I wasn't even planning on taking the test for SHS bc I wasn't a very good test taker, but I was a very good student so my school counselor recommended these programs to my mom. We applied to 3 and I was accepted by one of them and was able to secure a scholarship to boarding school, which was great bc my then zoned high-school was horrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Received an email today the my kids sleep away camp in NH is definitely opening for 4 weeks. So happy! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:26 AM Flag
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Not worried they’ll come back with the virus? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:17 AM Flag
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I will a little but i think they will be fine. I read all their policies and procedures. They also have to be tested before they arrive, the first day they arrive and one week after they are there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:35 AM Flag
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Camp Cody? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:03 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a crush on Jim Acosta at CNN 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:17 AM Flag
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+1 Not going to lie, I love when he gets frustrated on air. It's kind of a turn on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:19 AM Flag
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I like Cuomo. Did you see the naked pic?? HAWT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:21 AM Flag
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So many women in love with Cuomo. I am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:33 AM Flag
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Oh pun-lease. He is full of himself and will eventually look like his butt ugly brother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:40 AM Flag
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I don’t think he’s ugly. He looks like a distinguished older man and he’s in decent shape. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:44 AM Flag
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Andrew is in his 60s. How would he start looking like his much younger brother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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are you saying Andrew is the better looking Cuomo? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:58 AM Flag
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Not me. I am more of a young Brad Pitt kind of gal ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:35 AM Flag
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Agree. I also find Jake Tapper appealing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:36 AM Flag
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David Muir is hot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:43 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:43 AM Flag
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Is he gay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:05 PM Flag
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Love, Love Anderson [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:25 AM Flag
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yikes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Who should we be lobbying for childcare reform? None of the current DOE plans are going to address the elephant in the room of who is going to do the actual labor of childcare if half to all of the kids are going to be at home and everybody is supposed to go back to work. Any governmental body that's serious about healing the economy should see subsidizing affordable, safe childcare as necessary, no? And any solution would be way above the DOE's pay grade. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.12.20, 12:52 AM Flag
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i agree. i just CANNOT understand how the government thinks this is going to work. like literally i cannot conceptualize it. i am very lucky in that i have a nanny however none of my colleagues do. what on earth are they supposed to do in September? our office will be open. they cannot afford a nanny or fulltime child care. their kids are not old enough to be home alone. does noone else see this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:44 AM Flag
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Me neither. Many parents In my school will drop their kids off on the wrong day and run off because they have to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:47 AM Flag
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That’s exactly what will happen. I’m in the burbs but my kids went to a title 1 elementary. There was a morning program that started at 7:30 but you had to pay for it. Every day kids were dropped off and had to sit in the office while they tried to call the parents and never reached them. Sad for the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:35 AM Flag
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I can't afford a nanny and I am a single mom with a FT job. The usual school vacations are already difficult. The proposed DOE plans are IMPOSSIBLE for me. Not inconvenient. Not challenging. Not a stumbling block. IMPOSSIBLE!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:58 AM Flag
[ - ] HM or someone else--did schools close for polio? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:28 AM Flag
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Sure did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:35 AM Flag
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They had school over the radio from what my father says. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:47 AM Flag
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Polio was more a summer phenomenon, in general. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:56 AM Flag
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HM - occasionally yes, they did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:52 PM Flag
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I was just talking to my uncle about this. He said that my grandparents sent him and my dad to sleep away camp at the height of the polio outbreak. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:12 PM Flag
[ - ] DH are on the brink of divorce. One last shot at couples therapy. What type of therapy is preferred? Imago or EFT. Deciding between two therapists who specialize in each. Does type of therapy matter or is it more about fit? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:28 AM Flag
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I don't know what either of those are but DH and I did Gottman therapy and really like it (after trying a few others that didn't work for us at all) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:08 AM Flag
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EFT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:37 AM Flag
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^but fit is critical [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:37 AM Flag
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I think therapy can makes things worse, actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Two hairstylists working at Great Clips exposed 140 people to COVID and guess what? None of the people exposed got COVID! CNN just reported. Masks work. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:15 AM Flag
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Then why did it spread to rapidly in countries where wearing a mask has always been the norm? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:01 AM Flag
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Not everyone is wearing masks all the time in Asia. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:35 AM Flag
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The only place where it was ‘normal’ was Japan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:20 AM Flag
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Also south Korea. Very common there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:10 PM Flag
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It is great news, but it is also mind-boggling to me that two people with symptoms went to work with the public during a pandemic, knowing full well it was possible they were spreading something lethal. I know they probably need money but wtf? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:05 AM Flag
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blame the employer. i bet they were told to come in or get fired, and then they'd also lose unemployment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:11 PM Flag
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yeah this just spells LAWSUIT to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you know someone who is unable to be happy for other people? What caused them to be like this to your knowledge? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:56 PM Flag
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Yes. Jealousy, competitiveness and the need to always be the best and in a superior position to others. It must be an awful way to live internally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:06 AM Flag
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think she's asking how they became that way though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:16 AM Flag
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Inability to understand what they actually brought to the table so expectations were too high. Eventually everyone passed them by. Now unmarried, no kids and approaching the point of no return. Once we understood the unhappiness from that point, we all chilled out when they were overly critical on personal life decisions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:23 AM Flag
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Yes, my sister. Ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:48 AM Flag
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Two of my friends have reacted like this to me when I got a raise or promotion and it really hurt because I realized they both thought their more "elite" educations made them better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:57 AM Flag
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Ugh, that stinks. I'm sorry. Good for you on the promotions! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:26 AM Flag
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Yes. My mom. Criticizing me about every move I make and never praising me but simultaneously bragging about me to others about the same thing she criticized. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:31 AM Flag
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Pp- buying a new house, getting a better position for work, buying a vacation home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:31 AM Flag
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That's classic narcissism [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:38 AM Flag
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Insecurity is the base of it always. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:58 AM Flag
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This - although I'd add self-loathing, unhappiness [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:05 AM Flag
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Yes. Me, and now my daughter. Some things bring me joy for other people but a lot of times I am internally grumbling. I guess insecurity but also I swear...now that I see it in my daughter, it feels more like a chemical thing. I worry for my 9 yo dd that she might be depressed. It is like looking in a mirror at times. She hates birthdays, hates christmas, always disappointed. She is not bratty or spoiled, she is just a downer (like me). I hope that i haven't taught her that as I am MOST happy about being a mom to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:43 AM Flag
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for a long time I had a hard time being happy for other people. I haven't been through any direct experiences that could explain it. I have dealt with a lot of insecurity, a feeling of scarcity, an inability to really take care of myself leading to resentment of others. I have worked on myself and used DBT to raise awareness of my thinking patterns. I make a conscious decision every night and day to have gratitude for my life and to not deny myself happiness. It makes it much easier to be happy for others. Oh and I work on making real connections with people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:57 AM Flag
[ - ] I lost 8 lbs of the 18 I gained during quarantine! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:14 PM Flag
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Congrats! How?? I need advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:19 PM Flag
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I started quarantine with really rich meals and a LOT of alcohol. I would say about 2 months in, I started going back to the healthier meals I usually eat, and 3 weeks ago I stopped drinking at all during the week and really cut down my weekend drinking. I think a lot of the weight was bloat, not fat, but it came off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:23 PM Flag
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Great job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:13 AM Flag
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Ugh I don’t know if I can stop drinking during the week. It’s my downfall [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:37 AM Flag
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Very nice! Pretty soon and you'll be wearing your DD's clothes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:58 PM Flag
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You may be joking but in all seriousness it doesn't seem healthy for the dd involved to have a mom who is directly comparing their bodies like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:15 AM Flag
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It's UB...They all would love to post on their Instagram feeds they fit into their daughter pj aka Bethany Frankel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:27 AM Flag
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It's not, I have an ED and I've lost about 15 pounds over the last couple of months. Wearing DD's overalls & t-shirt now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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Yay! That's awesome. I'm trying to lose the 8 I've gained but I just stated 2 days ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Can parents have a day where we don't work to protest the way we are being treated by companies ... I am not making an equivalence here. I am just pointing out that we need to stand up for our rights and say that it is unfair we are being expected to work, school our children, figure out how to deal with the summer, and now probably not have full time school in the fall. We need to organize. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:12 PM Flag
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https://finance.yahoo.com/news/jeffrey-gundlach-sees-unemployment-wave-hitting-white-collar-jobs-224443437.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:48 PM Flag
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We have no rights as worker bees. Productivity is being measured and guess who’ll lose out ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:49 PM Flag
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it doesn't seem legal to me that they can make us work without child care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:03 AM Flag
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HR suggested I put my 11 yo in daycare and suggested a center that was open! He is too young for me to be gone 9-10 hours a day, too old for daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:01 AM Flag
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I sympathize, but at the end of the day workplaces have money to pay workers because workers produce things that other people value/purchase. If you stop producing, how do they have money to pay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:26 AM Flag
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I'm all for making the workplace and society better for everyone and expanding universal pre-K, nationalized healthcare, afterschool programs, etc, but if you just sell it as a 'parents' rights' thing it will go over like a lead balloon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:30 AM Flag
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Agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:38 AM Flag
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This is what I think big companies should do -- hire a group of college kids who are taking a gap year and use a couple of conference rooms as a virtual school rooms with the college kids as the tutors/teachers to help the kids with their virtual school and do art projects and board games etc in the afternoon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:20 PM Flag
[ - ] At this point, I feel sorry for all the public school parents with unionized teachers. It is very clear to me that this is the reason they won't have school in the fall. 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:01 PM Flag
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Stop. The teachers are doing their best under very difficult circumstances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:04 PM Flag
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Come on. They don't want to go back in the fall. That's a fact! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:04 PM Flag
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That is not a fact. Where did you even get that. Every teacher I know wants to go back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:25 PM Flag
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Many teachers I know are saying it's not safe to go back and they didn't sign up to take that kind of risk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:28 PM Flag
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Right, there are teachers all over the spectrum. They are not a monolith and that it is not a fact that they all want to stay home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:30 PM Flag
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Oh please. The Gristede's clerk signed up for this risk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:38 PM Flag
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But they are going back? What are you talking about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:48 PM Flag
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I do live therapy all day...parents/kids don't show despite reminders daily. I am tired of this. The ones that do show are in their underwear with the TV blasting, no table, in bed it s awful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:05 PM Flag
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My kid signs in to work his specialist teacher 3x a week. 80% of the time she isn't there. He sits waiting for 15-20 minutes and then I tell him he can just close the computer. I wish he had you to help him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:06 PM Flag
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work *with*, sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:06 PM Flag
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So you would agree, then, that in person school and therapy is better than online, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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I don't think anyone is doubting that. But full time in person school is not feasible right now. Blended is the best we can do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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My friend's son is a at a Park Slope middle school THe social studies teacher disappeared, and there's been nothing much happening in the other courses. maybe some teachers are doing the best they can. Most not. No learning, I'm told, by a mom who cares. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:55 PM Flag
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which school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:52 PM Flag
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do you think the private schools are going to do something different? what kind of liability would they carry if they did? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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Yes, I think they will be able to open. Not full day, not full classes. But something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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i would just think if publics can only do 2 days a week, and privates open more than publics, and someone gets sick, it is a lawsuit waiting to happen... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:19 PM Flag
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I am sure they will offer the virtual learning route so if you send, you have to sign a waiver. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:23 PM Flag
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true. how many people will actually send their kids when they look at that in black and white though.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:28 PM Flag
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I will! I have 3 dc in private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:36 PM Flag
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I would sign that waiver. TOmorrow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:56 PM Flag
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i would def send!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:45 AM Flag
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I will send my kids to real life school in a heartbeat. I don't care what the public schools do -- it is completely irrelevant to me though I have sympathy for the parents and hope their kids can go to school too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:50 AM Flag
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Why not full day? What if there are fewer than 15 in a class???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:56 PM Flag
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There are many private schools that have said they are committed to opening. They are not situated at all the same as private schools in crowded facilities with no outdoor space and 32 kids in a class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:20 AM Flag
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Correct. Our private school has plenty of sinks, hot water, and space. Its unfortunate that not every school has that. But why should EVERY school fail to open, simply because some are not equipped to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:04 PM Flag
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troll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:16 PM Flag
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Why do you call everyone troll who has an opinion different from yours? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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I don't. Why do you troll this board? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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See. There you go again. Give me a counter argument instead of calling me a troll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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I don't debate trolls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:04 AM Flag
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It's interesting to me that people who are pro union are now anti teachers and police unions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:27 AM Flag
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I'm pro union. I'm not pro any organization that defends its sometimes incompetent (teachers) or misbehaving (cops) and wants payraises and overtime in this kind of situation. As someone wrote earlier, Gristedes workers (and my super, and my porters) have worked thorughout covid. Teachers must too. And police have to be reported and ID"d if they behave badly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:58 AM Flag
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Can you clarify how you are pro union. Obviously everyone who criticizes unions is that they hide incompetence [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:13 AM Flag
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THEY DO! RUBBER ROOMS -- GOOGLE IT. AT FULL PAY! That's been done away with but there are still awful teachers with job security. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:00 AM Flag
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I hate this about the union and I work in the DOE, but honestly my dh tells me about incompetent employees at his work as well. He says there needs to be a paper trail for firing people.. but what do I know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:06 PM Flag
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Paper trail is one thing. The UFT has a much greater sphere of protection than just an average company's incompetent employer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:06 PM Flag
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this. i don’t blame them but someone has to stand up and say school is opening take it or leave it. we all have some risks in this post corona world but the world has to go on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:59 AM Flag
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And... that is what is happening? Schools are opening. With alternate schedules so distancing can happen. All teachers will be back full time, just with fewer bodies in a classroom at once to spread germs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:48 PM Flag
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stop - get a grip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:00 AM Flag
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Im a speech therapist in the public schools. I have had no say in the fall schedule. . I believe that the powers that be are following guidelines and are forced to because many people, parents and teachers will sue if they get sick. Instead of complaining work on lobbying to have the guidelines removed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:04 PM Flag