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06.12.20, 02:16 AM General Topics
57 replies
Since private schools counsel out those with ADHD, where do all the kids with ADHD attend private? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.12.20, 02:16 AM Flag
 

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Is this a logic puzzle? The private where I teach has a million kids with ADHD. And teachers too. Look for schools that people talk about as being supportive or gentle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:40 AM Flag
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Thanks. Do you know if Dwight Englewood would fall into that category? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:07 AM Flag
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Current parents can speak to it better than I can, but we have definitely had kids with ADD transfer or graduate to Dwight. Mostly very bright and presenting as either hyper or scattered. My sense is that DE is pretty academic so ADD kids will need strong support and a lot of strategies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:25 AM Flag
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Thanks. Why did they need to transfer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:30 AM Flag
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We're N-8 so wanting to be at a K-12 or joining sibs there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:23 PM Flag
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You are talking about Dwight-Englewood, right? Not Dwight? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:48 PM Flag
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Yes, sorry- Dwight Englewood, the one in NJ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:12 PM Flag
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The lower tiers, of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:13 AM Flag
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I'm only looking at lowers. The parents say they counsel out anyone who needs individual attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:30 AM Flag
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ADHD does not require individual attention. I have a child with ADHD. With a daily dose of ritalin, she doesn't need anything different than all the other kids. Either you refuse to medicate your child, or something other than ADHD is going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:14 PM Flag
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Well aren't you unreasonably judgy? I have medicated my child. Ritalin doesn't work on him, nor do any other drugs we've tried. Drugs only work on about 60-70% of the population. Therefore, some days, he zones out on the lesson and needs a lunch meeting with the teacher to catch up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:29 PM Flag
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I am sorry. You are right. I sounded awful. I am defensive. BTW, I don't think of what you are describing as "individual attention." I was thinking the OP meant more like a SEIT. Every kid needs access to teachers for one reason or another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:41 PM Flag
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Forgiven. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:57 PM Flag
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If the ADHD is mild and medicated, the child might be able to make it through. Otherwise schools like York Prep, BWL and may be Dwight. Dwight will counsel some out to York Prep - owned by members of the same family). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:56 AM Flag
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Know a kid at York in the upper grades, ADHD, has been a good fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:07 PM Flag
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I heard from an education consultant that York is half filled with kids with behavioral problems. More like juvenile delinquency than learning issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 12:46 PM Flag
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If "behavioral problems" means ADHD to you, then yes. Juvenile delinquency: no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:08 PM Flag
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What? Most high school kids with ADHD do not have behavioral problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:30 PM Flag
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It depends on how well the ADHD is being handled by the family. This notion that all the ADHD kids are counseled out is BS. I know ADHD kids at every private, including several at HM. The kids who get counseled out aren't properly medicated and supported. A high IQ kid with properly managed ADHD can thrive at any school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:12 PM Flag
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My son doesn't respond to drugs. Does that mean it's not "properly managed?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:31 PM Flag
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I apologize for my wording. I should not have said that you are doing all you can. what I should have said is that his disease is not being properly managed, which may mean that his health professionals haven't figure it out yet for him. For example, my DH has a chronic GI issue. No doctor has been able to figure out how to treat it. He is doing all he can in terms of seeking solutions, but his medical issue is not properly managed yet so he can't eat most foods. A child with ADHD that isn't controlled (like many chronic health issues, it can't be cured, only controlled) will have a very difficult time thriving in a mainstream private school. But most kids with ADHD do respond to medication and those kids can be found thriving in every private school in NYC. So I don't accept the premise of OP's question that "private schools counsel out those with ADHD." Instead, private schools counsel out those whose ADHD isn't responding to meds (or, frankly, those whose parents refuse to medicate or refuse to even acknowledge the issue, and I have seen plenty of parents like that at our school) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:17 PM Flag
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If the ADHD is easily controlled it was mild to begin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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Severity is unrelated to responsiveness to meds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:45 PM Flag
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This is not the case for us. Our DC’s ADHD was really bad. The right combination of medication and proper accommodations worked really well and really helped ease a lot of his suffering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:43 AM Flag
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you are actually agreeing with the poster above you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 10:19 PM Flag
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That is simply untrue. That is like saying "if chemo cured your cancer it was mild cancer to begin with." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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NP- IME the kids who thrive at TT with ADHD are not just high IQ. They have very mild ADHD. Remember that ADHD is a spectrum. I have 2 kids with ADHD. One is doing great in high school at a TT and the other one is doing well at York. The one who is at York could have stayed at TT but would have needed very extensive tutoring (and I don't think that is "properly" supporting a child). They both have IQ over 130 and have seen the best psychiatrists for medication management etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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Do you recommend a particular psychiatrist that can help treat and prescribed the appropriate medication for a child with ADHD? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:33 PM Flag
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ITTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:20 AM Flag
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If you can afford private anyway (and therefore don't need to worry about DOE reimbursement) there are great school for kids with LD issues, including ADHD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:52 PM Flag
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Can you give examples? He doesn't need a SN school, just accommodations like sitting in front and extra check-ins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 01:57 PM Flag
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most private schools accommodate in those ways. What private schools have you looked at? What grade? Does he have standardized test scores to give you an idea of which schools are appropriate academically? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:18 PM Flag
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Why wouldn't you look at the SN schools? They offer all the accommodations very matter of factly and many of them look / feel pretty much like other private schools. School plays, class trips, all the classes you'd expect, prom, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:44 PM Flag
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Because he has been in similar situations before, and not having as severe of difficulties as the other kids, he feels like an outsider there, too. He feels like he fits better, and also does better academically, with similarly abled peers. He is closer to mainstream peers than non. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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My son has ADHD and attends a TT private, he gets loads of support, extra time on tests, has weekly sessions with learning specialist to help him organize and plan his week, his advisor is on top of him, etc. We moved him from public, because we couldn't get any help or support there. I know plenty of kids with ADHD at all levels of private schools, a few at Dalton, Ethical Culture - Fieldston, etc (DS is not in one of those). Every school we applied to discussed the support they provide to kids who need it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:16 PM Flag
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How did you get him into a tt private if he was having learning difficulties? My son gets support at his ms but he's not a 100% student. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 02:22 PM Flag
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then maybe those schools aren't the right group for you to be looking at academically. Look at Trevor and CGPS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 03:20 PM Flag
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I happen to know that Trevor does not tolerate learning outside the norm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:01 PM Flag
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Can you give an example? If this child is only ADHD, this is not "learning outside the norm." She says her child has no SN, she says nothing about a LD, just ADHD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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ADHD is a learning disability. My friend has a child at Trevor and they have been trying to get rid of her but she has a sibling at the school and the parents are very involved. She has no behavioral issues but a learning difficulty and anxiety. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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I respectfully disagree. My child has ADHD, anxiety and a processing disorder. She also has no behavioral issues because her ADHD is inattentive type. The processing disorder is a LD, the anxiety is a mental health issue and the ADHD is a medical issue (specifically, neurological). ADHD is NOT a LD. But your friend's child may well have a separate LD. Many people with ADHD also have a mental health dx and/or a LD dx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:48 PM Flag
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Your friend's child has other issues besides ADHD. There are lots of kids at Trevor as well as CGPS with ADHD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:41 PM Flag
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Your friend is in denial about the other things going on with their child. ADHD is not a learning disability. It is not classified as such. It is typically comorbid with other diagnoses including learning disabilities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:48 AM Flag
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I didn't get him in, he got himself in (high school, parents don't matter as much): he aced the interview and did very well on ISEE (8999). His grades were in A-/low 90s average. Agree with poster below, ADHD is not LD. DS has an inattentive type and zero executive functioning skills, but does well with proper supports and extra time on tests. He is now A-/B+ student at TT private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:40 PM Flag
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Did you disclose your son's ADHD diagnosis during the interview? How do you bring up the subject without alarming the school? We are applying and while my son doesn't have any behavioral problems, he does have ADHD and tends to zone out once in a while. He's very bright academically but the ADHD gets in the way. We were hesitant to do medication, but now we see that it works well, and plan keep him on meds throughout the school year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:12 PM Flag
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NP whose child also goes to a TT and also has adhd inattentive type, which sounds like what you are describing -- I see no reason to disclose. This is a medical issue and just like you don't need to disclose diabetes or any other chronic medical condition, you don't have to disclose this. They will see his grades, they will see his test scores and they will interview him. And now that you have him on a medication that works well, the ADHD should no longer interfere with his learning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Thank you - your post was very helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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OP: What about me, though? Meds haven't worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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If your child's ADHD isn't under control in the classroom, then you have a completely different issue. First, you need to figure out if the diagnosis is correct. Maybe the meds aren't working because the doctor is treating the wrong disease. I am assuming here that you have already tried a number of different ADHD meds. If not, then actually the first thing to do is try different meds and the second would be to examine whether the diagnosis is correct. Assuming you have tried various meds and assuming the diagnosis is correct, then I would look to see if there is an additional issue. Many kids with ADHD also have anxiety and executive function issues that each need to be separately treated. In the meantime, I would look at Steiner and BWL. Both small schools on the UES, but very different schools. One very unstructured, one very structured. Without knowing your child, I don't know which is better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:12 PM Flag
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can you recommend a new doctor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:37 PM Flag
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Who have you seen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:37 AM Flag
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^^^ both for meds and for the neuropsych [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:38 AM Flag
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OR whose son is at TT school with ADHD: we didn't disclose anything during admissions process either. The availability of support services was openly discussed at the schools admissions events and there is a section on this topic on DS's school's website describing what support is available. As soon as he was accepted and we made a deposit, we emailed learning specialist and set up a meeting to discuss how to meet DS's needs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:34 PM Flag
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^^ to add to that, our DS sounds just like yours, very bright but zones out and we started meds in middle school which have been very helpful. So good luck with the admissions, there are plenty of kids like him at privates, you'll be happy with the support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:45 PM Flag
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I went to a TT school and had undiagnosed ADHD. I struggled in school, but they just offered more help. They never tried to counsel me out. My family wasn't a big donor, not wealthy in the least. I wasnt a legacy, etc. I think its a myth that they counsel so many kids out. I can only think of 1 that was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:58 PM Flag
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I am the OR whose kid with ADHD is at TT private and totally agree with this. The reason we chose private is for all the extra support. Kids are open about their condition and my son told me there are a few kids who have it as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:42 PM Flag
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I don’t think it is a myth at all but my observation is that it varies with supply and demand. Post 9/11 baby boom, a number of privates, including some with historically so-so reps, became more demanding of students, intolerant of issues and aggressive in pushing some kids out (counseling them out or putting pressure on the families). I hope things will change in the next few years and they will be more supportive of the kids they accepted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:18 AM Flag
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