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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Assuming NYC schools are doing this hybrid-remote thing next year, specials teachers should have to tutor kids 1-1 in academic subjects. I think some of our classroom teachers worked hard these past months, but art, music, library, PE - what a waste. And it sounds like those things won't exist in-person in the hybrid model anyway. Why should we pay those teachers? Make them do something useful to keep their jobs. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:02 PM Flag
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think they will exist. they will just be teaching smaller groups. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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I was told that kids won't be able to leave their classrooms. hallways are too small for 6 feet apart. They'll eat lunch in class, no recess. So they won't really be able to have library or gym. Art, maybe, in a limited way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:48 PM Flag
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There’s no reason kids can’t do art and music. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:06 PM Flag
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I think kids need tutoring more than a teacher strumming their guitar in front of the class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:10 PM Flag
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they cannot sing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:10 PM Flag
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Our music and gym teachers have posted a handful of videos - like one every 3 weeks - this entire time. I'd be happy to fire them, personally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:11 PM Flag
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My kid’s music teacher was the most active. She posted several videos a day and made a fool of herself but my kid loved it. I give her credit because standing alone in your living room singing and dancing would be my nightmare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:29 PM Flag
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Librarians are also working on non-student facing stuff supporting teachers with materials and tech. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:42 PM Flag
[ - ] 10-year-old DD developed a habit of touching her eyes--almost like a tic at the beginning of the school year. Her dad and I divorced a year ago but are on very good terms, in general, we have a low-stress household. She came back from two days at ex DH's house and has no eyelashes--she picked them all out. Any BTDT or what would you do? She doesn't want to go to therapy and is generally a happy, well-adjusted kid. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:56 PM Flag
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Wow! I did the exact same thing at that age and my parents are divorced also. I didn't realize other did it too. I had some anxiety about living with my stepmom and developed this bad habit as a coping method. Sounds like you have talked to her, but may want to probe a little deeper if she will open up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:03 PM Flag
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So funny you say that because ex DH said to me that he thought it might have to do with his gf. She's not a stepmom yet, but she lives with him and DD is around the gf a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:09 PM Flag
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pp: interesting! I think this could be it. I will share that the experience of having someone live with you who is not your parent, can be challenging, even they are the nicest person. She probably knows that her dad loves her unconditionally, but kids can feel that a non-parent does not necessarily feel the same way about them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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Did you get therapy or anything or naturally outgrew the hair pulling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:10 PM Flag
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pp: I did not get therapy. I naturally outgrew it. It lasted for 6-12 months. Growing my confidence helped. And joining a sport. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:19 PM Flag
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She has trichotillomania. It is a lot more common than you would think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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+1. My cousin has it, started at 8 with eyebrows. She is 30 now, and has been bald for most of her life-- as you can imagine, the hair loss led to a host of issues in school she might not of otherwise had. I would advise you to find a therapist NOW who deals with hair pulling. There are behavioral therapies to help stop. Think of it like smoking- it's an impulsive/compulsive act and it could have very dire consequences down the road. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:13 PM Flag
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I know someone whose DD did this, it was at a time when there was a lot of stress and anxiety in the family. I would say that therapy is the best route, she needs help developing healthier ways to manage the anxiety, I would not leave the choice up to her although obviously she can decide who is the right fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:11 PM Flag
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This. It happens. Divorce is a huge stressor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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Find a therapist trained in OCD. Trichotillomania is a subset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Advice please? I have a cousin who is more like a sister/close friend. She is very wealthy and generous and built a beach house with part of the intent to have regular guests, which she loves. Things are going as normal so far, everyone but me going and staying as usual. I am an anxious, cautious person, won't be going this summer. What is a polite, gracious way of saying that? We are on different pages and I do not want to offend her or get in an argument, she has already told me it's just a flu, only old people get really sick etc etc, pushing me to come. Meanwhile some of her guests have been sick before or after, luckily no one seriously, she has been fine, so she just doesn't think it's an issue. I don't want to argue or offend her, just need a diplomatic, unoffensive way of saying I am not traveling, staying in other houses this summer while being appreciative of her invitation. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:32 PM Flag
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Unless specifically questioned on the spot, I don't think you need to say anything. And if questioned with a specific date, "I'll have to check, we have a few things going on with the kids this year". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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Why lie? Why can't she just say, "I'm too anxious. I don't know if it's rational, but I'm scared and wouldn't be able to enjoy myself." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:41 PM Flag
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This. Just tell her the truth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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Also, think it’s freeing especially for an anxious person to be open. Really good for everyone to be this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:45 PM Flag
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"Thank you so much for inviting us. We are just not comfortable yet traveling or going out this summer, hope next year will be different." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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Just own your anxiety. Why do you feel the need to avoid that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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I agree. If you are very close you can say, I know you think I am crazy but I won't be able to relax. We love coming out but are going to skip this year. We would LOVE to come next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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NP. The bigger issue here is that you have an unbalanced power in your relationship with your cousin. She gets her way, acts as she wants and expects you to comply. On the other hand, you can't say what you feel and think directly and feel like you don't have a right to act in a way you want. Start becoming more assertive by saying to her smthg like 'as much as I'd like you and spend time with you at your house, I really don't feel comfortable under the circumstances so I'll take a rain check for now until things get normal'. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:37 PM Flag
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You don't need to say anything unless directly asked, and even then "we're just not ready to start traveling again yet" will do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] A friend texted me yesterday asking why don't we meet for a happy hour somewhere where there is a patio... I don't know what to reply. I am so nervous. Here where I live (midwest) very few people are taking precautions (masks etc) and the tables at restaurants even outside, always look packed. What should I do? Would love to chat w an adult friend, but I am still scared... 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:08 PM Flag
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Why don't you tell her you're still nervous going out in public but would love to have her over for patio drinks in your backyard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:15 PM Flag
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+1 There is no shame in saying you're not comfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:32 PM Flag
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Do you have outdoor space? Invite her over instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:16 PM Flag
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op- Thanks. Unfortunately I do not have an outdoor space... I would not want to go to her house (they have yard) as her older teen kids have been out and about and don't really social distance. Will ask if maybe she wants to go for a walk somewhere... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:40 PM Flag
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Walk in a park and put your wine in insulated cups. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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FWIW, I'm not an MD or scientist. But for me personally, I would be okay with this as long as you're mostly outdoors and everyone is maintaining a few feet of personal space. Also, you can still wear a mask even if others don't. I would be direct with her that you'd like to see her but want it to be in an area that isn't too crowded. If you can't find a restaurant that you feel okay with, then in another open-air setting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:18 PM Flag
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op- thanks, this makes sense [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:41 PM Flag
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Does the waitstaff wear masks and gloves and is there distance between tables? If yes, I would go. If not, hard pass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:19 PM Flag
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MD Mom. I am OK with an outdoor picnic or backyard BBQ while maintaining social distance. I am not OK with restaurants as it involves touching doorknobs, public restrooms, waitstaff standing close to you. You do not know if the person handling your food in the restaurant is sick, they may have no choice but to come to work. Not going to restaurants until there is a vaccine or a pill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:30 PM Flag
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op- thank you... this is exactly how I feel. We have a restaurant near where we live and I can always see crowded tables on the patio and although wait staff wear masks, everyone else is just too close... like one big party. And I also agree about the food handling. Not going to a restaurant any time soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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NP: Can you suggest a park & a bottle of wine? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:27 PM Flag
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MD mom, genuinely curious why do you feel this way about doorknobs when research is now showing that transmission from surfaces is extremely rare/nonissue? What am I missing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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np -- no one said it was a non issue, just less likely than person to person contact. In a public place with lots of different people who may be sick touching things there is a concern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:50 PM Flag
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https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-coronavirus-last-on-surfaces#different-surfaces [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:43 AM Flag
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Weird. Where are you in the midwest? In Chicago, every single person I know is wearing a mask when they go out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 11:43 PM Flag
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Suggest you meet up at a park instead, bring your own wine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] The one time I go throw out the garbage without a mask last night, and walking back to my door, two neighbors are standing outside their doors, just chatting, They saw me and I waited far for a few minutes, but totally did not get my drift... finally they said "just go ahead" I walked by as fast as I could - but the one woman started asking the other a question, just as I walked through... made me so angry. What's wrong with people?? I am not in NYC (where I am sure this would not have happened) but it is totally disrespectful. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:04 PM Flag
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YTA here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:05 PM Flag
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The mask protects them from you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:05 PM Flag
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op- I get it. But they were chatting! Could have at least kept quiet as I walked by... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:09 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:13 PM Flag
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And held their breath too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:16 PM Flag
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Since you weren't wearing one, either, they might have just assumed you don't care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:11 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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THIS! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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You forgot your mask and you are mad ? Get real, crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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+1. If you weren't wearing a mask, you don't really have a leg to stand on here. Also, btw, NYC is somewhat better in this regard but not that much better, it totally could have happened here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:30 PM Flag
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Waiting there "for a few minutes" in a passive aggressive huff probably exposed you more vs if you just simply walked by. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:28 PM Flag
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This. Good lord. People have gone crazy with this thing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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PP: I think for some people it's more important to them that they police others vs protecting themselves. OP doesn't care about herself, this is just an excuse for her to "get so mad" and tsk people. This has been a wet dream for control freaks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:41 PM Flag
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Lol. ITA. Gives the nervous nellies license to confront. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:49 PM Flag
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You're not going to get sick by walking past a person. It is my understanding that you need to spend a significant amount of time (>10 mins) in close contact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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you are nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Oh the fear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:43 PM Flag
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You seem to look for reasons to get mad at people for mask- related issues. Try to accept that people generally are being careful, but not everyone is exercising the same degree of care. Don’t judge them because they don’t meet your standards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:16 PM Flag
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OP isn't even meeting her own standards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Any Mexican moms on? Family of 5 (DCs 8, 6, and a baby) would like to spend a month in Mexico this summer. Where should we go (prefer to stay put in one or two places). We speak Spanish fairly well but not fluently. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:54 PM Flag
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Cabo San Lucas is probably one of the safest places right now. Look at the Cape hotel. Child friendly and wonderful place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:56 PM Flag
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Stay away from Mexico City right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:29 PM Flag
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Any particular reason? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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COVID? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:32 PM Flag
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OR: yes, COVID. I work with Mexico City based clients, it's a mess. Really most of the country but if you take a direct flight to a remote area you're fine. The government data is completely corrupted and inaccurate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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Mexico is becoming a hot spot. Also our governmentAnd Mexico’s has forbidden non-essential travel to Mexico, which it sounds like yours is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:25 PM Flag
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Mexican mom here. COVID is rampant in Mexico now, I would definitely not travel there this summer. Hopefully if things get better next summer you can visit, and I would recommend spending time in Mexico City and surround cities (Cuernavaca, Valle de Bravo, etc), and then some time at a beach, east or west coast depending what you are looking for, Oaxaca beaches and villages are amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:37 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you! I figured this summer was probably not happening. To dream! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:42 PM Flag
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np. Try Hawaii, it must be cheaper now. We went in 2009 and flights and hotels were 1/2 of regular prices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Do any of you have a very low carb tolerance? Meaning, if you eat any carbs (even too much fruit or potatoes) you gain weight? I think this is me now at age 40. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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Yes. I didn't used to believe that any of that was true, at least for me; but if I want to lose any weight I need to drop simple carbs, and have to limit them just to maintain. Started at about 40. This is regardless of total calorie intake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:48 PM Flag
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op: thank you! I didn't want to believe it either, but I have been dieting for 7 weeks and I think I'm going to need to drop all carbs to kick weight loss into gear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:58 PM Flag
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Are you using an app like MyFitnessPal to truly monitor your caloric intake? I dieted for weeks with no success and really saw the stuff I was eating wasn't as low calorie as I thought until I used the app. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:59 PM Flag
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Yes! MFP plus I weigh and measure all food. And wear a Fitbit. It's crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:01 PM Flag
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What do you mean by "as you thought?" Read the label. It's written right there. If you're out, look it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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I cook a lot, so not everything is from a box. Sometimes, it's a handful of pasta I made with some cut up veggies and cheese. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:01 PM Flag
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I don't eat anything from a box, but if I make something I don't know about, I just look it up. Lots of apps now, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:08 PM Flag
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Boy, you sure sound nasty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:48 PM Flag
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I know a lot of people argue this (and it probably does vary by individual) but for me, weight loss and maintenance is at least 90% calorie counting. That is, I could eat 1200 calories of a carb-heavy diet a day and still lose weight, and conversely, eat too many calories of a carb-free diet and gain weight (especially incorporating a lot of foods with "good fats"). The issue, of course, is that carb-heavy foods are usually highly caloric as well, so if you are counting calories and don't want to starve, it's easiest to cut way back on carbs and have larger portions of more filling lower calorie foods. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:51 PM Flag
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Does not work for me. I gain weight on calorie-restricted diet, below 1200, if I eat carbs. On the other hand, I can eat protein and non-starchy vegetables in unlimited quantities and lose weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:59 PM Flag
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I think this is me too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:02 PM Flag
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Do you think you might have insulin resistance or prediabetes? have you been tested? I only ask because I'm the same and I am wondering this about myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:09 PM Flag
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Yes, I think I have pre-diabetes. I need to get tested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:33 PM Flag
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ITA with this. It's just that carbs have a lot of calories and don't really keep you full. So 2 eggs for breakfast = 170 calories and I'm full vs. pumpkin pie for breakfast = 700 calories and I'm starving an hour later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:45 PM Flag
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Yes, me. Potatoes need to go ASAP, if you want to lose weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:54 PM Flag
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33 year old woman here-- I so don't want to turn 40. :: clutches my bag of potatoes:: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:58 PM Flag
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op: lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:02 PM Flag
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I'm almost 50 and eat carbs all the time. Size 4. It may not happen to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:45 PM Flag
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op: yes, I think it's very personal. I know friends who don't have this issue. I have a family history of obesity and type 2 diabetes, so may have lower carb tolerance than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:49 PM Flag
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Yes. Carb restriction is the only way I lose weight. I'm 34 but I have PCOS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:16 PM Flag
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op: how many grams per day can you have? I think I have to limit to 50 grams of carbs per day. Just some veggies and berries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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Np: you can certainly have a couple of pieces of fruit per day, but it’s better to have them in the morning than at night [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:03 PM Flag
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For some people, they really can't. It raises their insulin levels to an unhealthy degree, even though fruit is a healthy type of carbohydrate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:13 PM Flag
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Yes. The few times I've been really strict - as in NO carbs (other than alcohol, little sweetener in coffee), I notice a difference right away. Drop a few pounds, probably just water but who cares - less bloated, boobs shrink, more energy, feel great. But I've learned that just limiting carbs doesn't work for me, I have to totally cut them out which is so hard. I'm about to try again now though. Hope it still works at age 45. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:38 PM Flag
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Definitely less bloated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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This. There is a reason diets rarely work. It’s hard yo eliminate carbs completely for an extended petiole of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Going out to buy a mattress in a few minutes. If you like your mattress, what brand is it? thanks! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:36 PM Flag
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Saatva. Super comfortable and not expensive. Plus they guarantee it (or money back) and they remove your old mattress for free. I am now buying one for dd's bed as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:59 PM Flag
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np -- which one do you have? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:03 PM Flag
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Avocado [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:17 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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Purple [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:04 PM Flag
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Leesa [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:09 PM Flag
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McCroskey [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:28 PM Flag
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McRoskey [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] what would you make of a couple where the DH postponed proposal, eventually proposed under ultimatum, then postponed the wedding, then eventually wed? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:34 PM Flag
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The obvious. Sounds like trouble and won’t last. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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it's been 10+ years so apparently you're wrong! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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Are you writing about your marriage in the OP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:37 PM Flag
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no I am not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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He sounds like a jerk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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Why? He sounds like he's trying to make her happy but in his heart may not really love her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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I know someone like this and they divorced a few years later. He admitted he was not in love so it was for the best. I think you can't give someone an ultimatum to propose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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OP: that sounds like the most upstanding outcome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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Why would you propose under ultimatum anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:40 PM Flag
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I know of 2 ultimatum scenario marriages and as far as I know they are solid. One woman didn't want to move in unless they were engaged, one was on again, off again and wanted a commitment. Both have kids now and together a long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:41 PM Flag
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The moving in one sounds fine. She didn't say she was going to completely break it off with him if he didn't propose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:43 PM Flag
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same. 2.5 years in my then bf now husband still was saying "soon, soon". i told him either we move forward i move on. still together (6 years later) and about to have 3rd baby. some men just procrastinate. i spent 6 years with previous bf and swore i wouldnt waste that kind of time again for any man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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Because men are stupid and need to be pushed, tbh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:43 PM Flag
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I did. Married 25 years this fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:22 PM Flag
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I think almost all the married couples I know well enough to have insight into this had some element of significant pressure on the part of the woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:51 PM Flag
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Same here. Men are cool w dating forever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:29 PM Flag
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DH was young [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:53 PM Flag
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Of all of those things "proposing under ultimatum" is the biggest concern [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:24 PM Flag
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Nervous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:27 PM Flag
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+1. It might work out, but then again it might not. And you can never say you weren't warned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:49 PM Flag
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It really depends. Could be a bad indicator that the DH is not fully into it enough to last through a long marriage with all of life's ups and downs. Or could be that the guy was didn't feel fully ready to be married but was crazy about the woman and eventually went against his nerves to make sure he locked her down and then they live happily ever after. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:48 PM Flag
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my DH was close to this (did not actually postpone the wedding , did have a panic attack getting the license) -- in 1991. we're still together, 2 kids, committed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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I would guess without knowing them, that the marriage has a lower chance of success. But my BFF and her DH broke up several times over the marriage issue and when they were broken up, she realized she was pregnant. They didn't get married right away- just right before the baby was born. She was full on pregnant at the wedding. 20 plus years later they re happily married. He always had trouble making decisions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:36 PM Flag
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Sounds like my AP. (Puts on flame resistant suit). He had to be prodded into marriage but he loves his wife but he also loves clinging to a bit of his single days. He was cheating before the proposal, stopped for a bit before the wedding and then picked back up after the birth of their first kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:06 PM Flag
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I would say less chance of success, but I would also say who knows. At my age, I've seen plenty of couples where the DH was absolutely head over heels and obsessed before proposing, and 5 years in, completely lost all interest, had an affair, and coolly dumped his wife. You don't know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 10:47 PM Flag
[ - ] just got an email from someone in our building that they - and folks who came in from out of town to stay with them so they could all attend the protests - all tested now positive for covid. if you went to a protest, prob worth getting a test now even if asymptomatic! (side note, fully support the protests but just a suggestion) 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:01 PM Flag
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Or if you went up to the corner to get a to-go drink and ended up talking for a while, or if you went for a run and didn't wear a mask and ended up running through a group of people, or if you went grocery shopping and leaned over someone to grab something out of a case or if you caved and brought the kids over to see your mom because she was lonely or if you went for a walk with a friend and didn't "really" stay socially distant, or ....... I support all of that, but just as a suggestion, maybe get a test. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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if you walked packed with people shouting, which is how covid gets passed, then yes - get a test. pretending it's the same as going for a walk by yourself is stupid and helps no one. if you get tested then you can help prevent further spread. read ANY news. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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This. What was even the point of the OR? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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+1 You're not negating the value of the protests by acknowledging that they come with a significant COVID risk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:48 PM Flag
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THIS! A lot of organizers are encouraging people to get tested. Weighing the risks and deciding that the need to be heard right now took precedent is not shameful. I grappled hard with it myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:15 PM Flag
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The city is encouraging folks who protested to get tested - and set up some specific sites for that purpose [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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Protests were valuable but to pretend it didn't increase viral load is BS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:20 PM Flag
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This is not what viral load means. Viral load refers to the amount of virus within a person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:53 PM Flag
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no kidding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:04 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the nicest beauty gift you've received or best item you've ever tried? BFF's milestone bday trip was canceled due to covid - sending her a basket of some nice things instead! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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Anything from La Mer or SKinMedica TNS serum if you are able to really splurge [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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I love TNS serum! have been using it for 2 years and my skin looks so much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:06 PM Flag
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Diptyque shower oil [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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Diptyque candles also wonderful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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Agent Nateur has really nice beauty items. Necessaire is nice too and really well priced, so you can get her a bunch of different stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:07 PM Flag
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SK II Gift set. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:23 PM Flag
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Some cosmetics and fragrance lines have limited editions for summertime -- something like that could be nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:49 PM Flag
[ - ] How would you respond if you had tentative plans w a friend (she said sounds good let me check my schedule) and you were texting yesterday morning and afternoon but once you said let me know if it works to come over later she didn't reply? Annoyed or NBD? In general, when you have semi plans and people go dark? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:47 PM Flag
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I find that annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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I agree it's annoying but how would you respond the next day when the friend resurfaces? Would you say something or keep it to yourself and move forward? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:54 PM Flag
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is it a one-off or a pattern? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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somewhere in between a one-off and a pattern--this friend is generally inconsistent, and I have told her as much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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I would say "What happened to you yesterday? I thought we had tentative plans?" Keep it light but let. her know you expect more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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I would be fine with her canceling the plans or not being free--what I find annoying is saying nothing and leaving it hanging after I asked and we'd talked about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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Depends on the friend and type of get together. If it's a friend I only see every couple of months and we're trying to plan a meal at someone's house or restaurant or an outing that requires rearranging schedules/meal plans or setting aside a significant portion of a day, it's terrible. But I have a friend/neighbor who I get together with several times a week for a walk or a cup of coffee and we sometimes leave one another hanging like this as we're both busy and it doesn't bother me at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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I would stop initiating plans and let her do the driving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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Basically an unreliable friend who will continue to be this way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:37 PM Flag
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Yes exactly so how would you handle? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:54 PM Flag
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I know someone like this who I consider a little better than an acquaintance and I try not to initiate any sort of conversation unless absolutely necessary. I think she’s this way to other people so I try not to take it personally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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NP: if a close friend, I would tell her. if not, I wouldn't try to make plans with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] My birthday is next week. My boyfriend's clues for my gift are "It'll rock your socks" and "It will dazzle you". I don't want to get my hopes up about a proposal because I have so many times before. Could this be anything else? I feel like it can't be anything but a ring, but I also know I have a one-track mind right now. 56 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:45 PM Flag
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Sparkly socks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:48 PM Flag
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OP: Literally what I said to him! Ha! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:49 PM Flag
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GL! I hope he proposes! How old are you? How long dating? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:49 PM Flag
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OP: 30! Been dating 2 years! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:49 PM Flag
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Let us know! It sounds promising. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:51 PM Flag
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OP: We had a big argument last week about he wasn't ready to move in with me, so I don't know. I don't know if it scared him straight. That's why I was wondering what else it could be since I'm so unsure about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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NP: Is it possible he just said he didn't want to move in because he didn't want it to upstage his planned proposal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:07 PM Flag
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OP: I don't think so. He said some things that were quite cruel that day. It was a bad argument. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:10 PM Flag
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What did he say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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I don't think he would give that much away. he sounds like he is being an ass because he knows you expect. it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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OP: Right? It seems like it's too obvious. He definitely wouldn't be an ass and tease me just to be cruel though-- he's not that type. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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Well. you know him best. A lot of guys think it is funny to shock the finance will a bs fake out proposal followed later by a real one. If he does give you dazzling socks, I would keep it light.;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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OP: I'll give him a beauty pageant smile while wanting to crush his balls with my bare hands. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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You sound like you have a good sense of humor. Im sure you guys will get engaged soon. Good luck and Happy Birthday! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:16 PM Flag
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OP: Aw, thank you so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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Np. I kind of agree. "it will dazzle you" isn't something that sounds like a proposal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:43 PM Flag
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What else dazzles besides diamonds? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:47 PM Flag
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But it's so obvious. What guy wants to ruin the element of surprise? I'm guessing earrings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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or a beadazzler. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 02:50 PM Flag
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Do not expect a ring. It is very rare, and sort of cheesy to ask for your hand on your birthday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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I disagree. And don’t spoil OP’s fun. A proposal anytime is always exciting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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+1. I literally handed the package with my ring off to my now husband the night we "got engaged" (after wearing it around all day because I knew it was coming in and had to sign for it) just for him to get down on his knee and offer it back to me, and it was still exciting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:09 PM Flag
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np- Oddly enough, I've had a lot of friends get proposals on their birthdays lately. Maybe it's a younger generation thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:01 PM Flag
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NP. DH proposed on my birthday 20+ years ago. I think he thought it had to be a big thing, I would have been ok with hey, it's Tuesday, what do you say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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I was going to say an indoor rock climbing membership, but I don't know how that's dazzling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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SWOOOOON! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 05:45 PM Flag
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If it's not a proposal after those clues, I'd say he's messing with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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Same. If it's not a ring, I'd kind of be pissed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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Np. Clues? "It will dazzle you" - I don't know a guy who would ever drop hints like this about a proposal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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"Rock" and "dazzle" would make me think diamonds! When my dh of 25 years proposed, I had a weird feeling all day leading up to it. But I didn't want to get my hopes up so I kept telling myself it wasn't going to happen. We had just had "the talk" a few weeks before, and it didn't go well. So I was completely shocked (even thought I had this feeling) when he did propose. GL! [ Reply |