UrbanBaby

06.12.20, 18:32 PM General Topics
9 replies

Advice please? I have a cousin who is more like a sister/close friend. She is very wealthy and generous and built a beach house with part of the intent to have regular guests, which she loves. Things are going as normal so far, everyone but me going and staying as usual. I am an anxious, cautious person, won't be going this summer. What is a polite, gracious way of saying that? We are on different pages and I do not want to offend her or get in an argument, she has already told me it's just a flu, only old people get really sick etc etc, pushing me to come. Meanwhile some of her guests have been sick before or after, luckily no one seriously, she has been fine, so she just doesn't think it's an issue. I don't want to argue or offend her, just need a diplomatic, unoffensive way of saying I am not traveling, staying in other houses this summer while being appreciative of her invitation. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.12.20, 06:32 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

Unless specifically questioned on the spot, I don't think you need to say anything. And if questioned with a specific date, "I'll have to check, we have a few things going on with the kids this year". [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:37 PM Flag

Why lie? Why can't she just say, "I'm too anxious. I don't know if it's rational, but I'm scared and wouldn't be able to enjoy myself." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:41 PM Flag

This. Just tell her the truth [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:44 PM Flag

Also, think itâ€™s freeing especially for an anxious person to be open. Really good for everyone to be this way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:45 PM Flag

"Thank you so much for inviting us. We are just not comfortable yet traveling or going out this summer, hope next year will be different." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 06:58 PM Flag

Just own your anxiety. Why do you feel the need to avoid that? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 08:48 PM Flag

I agree. If you are very close you can say, I know you think I am crazy but I won't be able to relax. We love coming out but are going to skip this year. We would LOVE to come next year. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:32 PM Flag

NP. The bigger issue here is that you have an unbalanced power in your relationship with your cousin. She gets her way, acts as she wants and expects you to comply. On the other hand, you can't say what you feel and think directly and feel like you don't have a right to act in a way you want. Start becoming more assertive by saying to her smthg like 'as much as I'd like you and spend time with you at your house, I really don't feel comfortable under the circumstances so I'll take a rain check for now until things get normal'. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.12.20, 09:37 PM Flag

You don't need to say anything unless directly asked, and even then "we're just not ready to start traveling again yet" will do [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.20, 04:35 PM Flag