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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I am that poster who has been trying to have a second child for 3 years. Multiple IVF fails, then moved on to donor eggs, couldn't chose a donor, then first FET with donor eggs failed. Second FET took - I am pregnant. I was 42 when I started - I am 45 now. And I think I made a mistake. Dont know how to do this anymore, not sure about donor eggs, the world is going insane, and I am too old. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:22 PM Flag
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Had donor egg baby at 45. I regretted it for years. Really wished I hadn't.Fast forward to now when DD is 12. It's awesome and best decision I ever made. It'snot like having a kid in your 30s ("Older mom") but it is fantastic and no more selfish than having a kid at any other age. Be kind to yourself and ask for help when you need it. It's so great to see the world thru her eyes... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:30 PM Flag
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Congratulations!!! I remember getting pregnant with my 2nd...there is a large gap between 1 and 2 and thinking wtf did I just do!!! I absolutely adore the second. Being old has it's benefits. You will be a such more relaxed parent. Remember kids don't care about your age, they care about your love and attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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Why are you having doubts now? There’s a high chance you’ll have a happy, healthy child in a few months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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I became a mom by adoption just as I turned 45. You can do this! You have years of wisdom and all of the patience and knowledge you gained from your first child. You will have the energy, despite what the ageists on this board will tell you. It’ll be wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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I think one thing to anchor on is that you're a vet now. So not being a new mom means things really will fall in line much easier. Congratulations! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:37 PM Flag
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I have been trying for 2nd for a while as well. Similar story. I’m 46 now and if I get lucky will have large gap. I wish I could talk to you irl. First off congrats. You will be okay. It’s so normal to be unsure. I think when we want something so much and try for so long we think we’re not entitled to all the feelings that everyone else has. There is also so much pent up stress and sadness that when you finally get pregnant it’s a mixed bag. You are not too old, the world has always been insane and most people seem to mostly be sorry they didn’t go to diner sooner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:39 PM Flag
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^donor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:41 PM Flag
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Will be even sweeter and more precious when it happens. Only the ones who had kids young will naysay. You will be so so so happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:44 PM Flag
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My friend was 45. Our kids are 11. She has stayed young and is one of the most active moms at the school. She still stays home and now they are easing into retirement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:22 AM Flag
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You’ve got this mama. You have been through a lot physically, emotionally, the world is upside down. Take care of yourself right now. Give yourself a minute to start to be excited about being a mama of 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:58 AM Flag
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DH became a father for the first time at 50, second time at 52. He is loving it. He's a very active primary parent to our two kids. They are keeping him young. Congratulations on achieving your goal. Enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:34 AM Flag
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I have a 6.5 year gap between my two kids and after being told I would never get pregnant again of course it happened naturally on its own. This happened the month after DH and I decided we were done and actually no longer wanted a second because we loved the much more manageable stage we were finally at with our oldest and did not want to go back to the baby stage. I was shocked and upset when I first found out and pretty ambivalent/regretful the entire pregnancy, but from the moment baby #2 was born that all faded away and we are all obsessed and could not imagine life differently. I am slightly younger (41) but you've got this and it's also ok to go through all the emotions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:27 AM Flag
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Good for you! Please don't second guess yourself and try to enjoy. What you're doing is powerful and special. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:24 AM Flag
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I have a 5 yo DE conceived DC. Long-term infertility leaves you with a form of PTSD. Also pregnancy is abnormal. I mean it's normal, but everything is screwed up, and your emotions big part. Be kind to yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:41 AM Flag
[ - ] Going out to a restaurant for the first time since early March! Woo! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:12 PM Flag
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Watcha gettin? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:20 PM Flag
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Covid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:43 PM Flag
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Ha! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:43 PM Flag
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Lookout you are going to get roasted on here! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:30 PM Flag
[ - ] My ds (13) said that he was going to ride his bike to the ice cream shop to get ice cream for his friend A's birthday. He said a friend B could not go because he was sick and getting tested for covid. My ds just got back and said Friend B showed up the ice cream place because he was feeling better. I am so angry. There have been so many instances of this mom being a mess over the years but this is out of control. Should I say something? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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I would Definitely want to know if the kid was tested and the result [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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Wow, I'd be pissed. Chances are your DC is fine because they were outdoors, but this is not OK. I would text her and ask to be informed of her son's results asap. And your son should quarantine until they're in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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I just told him. He has barely been out for months. I don't let house because the mom has done other questionable things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:19 PM Flag
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I don't let him go to this boy's house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:21 PM Flag
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Where are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:23 PM Flag
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Westchester [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:25 PM Flag
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I live in Riverdale. Half my kids friends are in Westchester, half in Manhattan. It is shocking the difference in how the families are treating covid. Manhattan -- totally on it, masks, social distancing, the kids all have strict rules that they follow (like not going inside anyone's home, wearing masks the whole time etc) while the Westchester kids act like nothing is happening. No masks, no social distancing, going inside etc. And the parents are the same -- Westchester parents are acting like they are someone immune. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:05 AM Flag
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exactly the same sort of attitude that led to that kid coming back from Florida and infecting all those kids at graduation. may end up with worse outbreaks outside the city than in because of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:10 AM Flag
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That's why the per capita number of infections is actually higher in Westchester than in NYC. And that says a lot because in NYC you have lots outbreaks in prisons, housing complexes, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:29 AM Flag
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Westchester towns with prisons and nursing homes also had higher numbers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:20 AM Flag
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I see people all over Manhattan out and not social distancing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:37 AM Flag
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What should I text "DS told me your child was taking a covid test, can you tell me the results" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:23 PM Flag
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Hey, Susan. Johnny mentioned that Billy was tested for covid recently. If you wouldn't mind, when you get the results back can you let me know if Billy is positive so I know whether to have Johnny self-isolate and/or get tested himself? Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:29 AM Flag
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np- you're good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:04 AM Flag
[ - ] I know this is stupid--but should I buy new uniforms for next year? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:10 PM Flag
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Not yet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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This. I don't buy new school clothes in June even in normal years, since you don't know what size your kid is going to be in Sept. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:34 PM Flag
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Should I buy the school supply kit for public? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:59 PM Flag
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I’d start with the hand sanitizer, tissues, and paper towels! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:54 AM Flag
[ - ] Spinoff on the backyard BBQ post. Why can't people understand it is not necessarily stay in your home and don't go out, OR go and get drunk in an indoor crowded bar? There are in between areas that are ways to SAFELY get back out into society. IMO it is this all or nothing attitude (and of course other things) that has much of this country in the trouble its in now. 72 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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I think people understand that, but think a BBQ with 20 adults plus however many kids (so, like, ten families??) is too far along that risk spectrum for right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:37 PM Flag
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This! Two or three families getting together, fine. Ten? Way too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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No. Read the responses. They do not understand that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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I have read the responses and I disagree with your interpretation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:40 PM Flag
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I responded and yes, I understand that. I also understand that 20 adults plus children could be a viral zoo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:17 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:17 PM Flag
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OP fails to recognize that most of the posters were fine with the idea of a couple of families getting together but felt that 20 adults plus kids, was too risky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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2 families is one thing. Don’t need group of 20++ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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20 adults. Probably at least as many kids again if they're families of four, on average. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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This! Adults will be drinking and chatting, the kids will be running together with no supervision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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Right? The chances of someone being exposed goes up with each new household introduced to the group. You are sharing food, almost no way to serve while social distancing, people won't wear masks while eating/drinking. This is nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:44 PM Flag
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I don’t think people who are very cautious are really the issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:40 PM Flag
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Only in the sense that they give the irresponsible people a handy straw man. "We can't all stay locked up forever!" Nobody is asking you to, calm down Susan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Lol. I think Susans are still wiping down their mail, though. Not sure what the "We're being LOCKED UP!!!!!1!!" moms are called. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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Republicans [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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I snorted tea out of my nose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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I'm friends with three sisters on Facebook - childhood friends who all still live in the suburbs where I grew up. Each of the three has a family (DW, DH and 2-3 kids per household). They are each constantly posting pictures of themselves and their kids out and about with their own individual friends... and then all three families get together every week (along with their respective grandparents/in-laws). I feel like I'm doing some sort of social media contact tracing just by following them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:40 PM Flag
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No, it's the failure to realize that the virus doesn't give a shit about special events like 4th of July that has this country in the trouble it's in. "Oh but it's graduation!" "Oh but it's Memorial Day!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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THIS! I thought the whole argument for "getting back to normal" was supposedly fiscal: open up the economy, get businesses going again. Okay, we did that. Can you all just chill a minute with the hard core social shit now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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The thing about that post is that is a totally unnecessary occasion. Agreed that there are safe in-between a but there should be a purpose for those. A 20-person bbq just screams of entitlement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:08 PM Flag
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It's a total middle finger to the rest of society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:13 PM Flag
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"Oh, but the Gunderson ALWAYS host their July 4th BBQ. Everyone's going!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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"It's fine - none of us are high risk" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:17 PM Flag
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Yes! An F you to medical workers, to anyone who has lost a loved one, and to those in economic hardship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:05 AM Flag
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Op: All of these idiotic responses have just proved my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:21 PM Flag
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?? What idiotic responses. It sounds like most everyone on this thread agrees with you - that it shouldn't be all or nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:23 PM Flag
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OP thinks that refraining from barbecuing with ten families is "nothing." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:25 PM Flag
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Incorrect. My point was that the responses in the PP were going crazy as if this was the equivalent to crowding an indoor bar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:29 PM Flag
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No, nobody thinks that they are equivalent, just that this is still too risky. The fact that crowding an indoor bar is the highest level of risk doesn't automatically make everything less than that OK. You seem to be struggling with nuance and the fact that it is a continuum of risk, which is somewhat ironic given your post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:33 PM Flag
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This is exactly the opposite [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:36 PM Flag
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No, it is not. You originally claimed that "staying in your home and not going out" was the opposite to a crowded bar. Now suddenly a barbecue with ten families is the opposite to a crowded bar, and anyone who isn't comfortable with that is a shut-in. You are suffering from the exact logic problem that you claim to be calling out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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This. OP you are on a whole other plane of reality. WTF are you drinking and can I have some? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:39 PM Flag
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Because I fully believe that the BBQ in PP is within the realms of safety. There is no reason that 10 couples cannot congregate outside and maintain social distance. I think this is a reasonable way to get out into society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:45 PM Flag
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Ok, and others disagree with your assessment of the risk of this event. That doesn't mean that they are taking an "all or nothing" approach or staying shut in their houses; it also doesn't make a forty-person barbecue "the opposite" of a crowded bar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:47 PM Flag
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I am not sure how it became 40 people, but either way its still my opinion that if people are going to beaches, and shopping in stores and eating in restaurants that an outdoor bbq would be a very reasonable way for people to be around each other and still easily be able to maintain social distance. I think splitting hairs about weather its 20 adults or 10 adults is really not the issue. Stay 6 feet away from people and how is this different from the park or a beach or a sports game which apparently kids are now playing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:52 PM Flag
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Twenty adults. Presumably as many kids, if most couples have (on average) two kids. And the significance of ten adults vs 20 adults is that each new person/household means additional risk that someone has been exposed to the virus. You're allowed to have your opinion, but most people commenting (including me) don't think that maintaining social distance in this setting is going to be practicable while sharing food, kids playing, etc etc. You still haven't explained how that equates to people having an all or nothing viewpoint, which is the apparent point of this spin-off. People just have a different level of comfort with this scenario than you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:55 PM Flag
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Ok are you sending your kids to camp? Are you going to the beach or pool or park? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:05 PM Flag
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My choices aren't the issue here, but no, kids aren't going to camp because it was canceled. We go to the beach and park as a family and stay away from other families there. We are socializing with two other families who we trust to similarly be sensible. But according to you, we are "staying locked up inside"? And you think other people are the ones with an all-or-nothing mindset? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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A. Just because people are doing it doesn't mean it's ok (as exhibited by the rise in Covid cases around the country) B. It's different in that it involves people who know each other and are more likely to take their guard down (masks down, less than 6 feet) and the touching of shared surfaces (paper plates, cups, serving utensils, condiments, balls, bats, bathroom surfaces) C. It's completely unnecessary. I am 100% of the opinion that fresh air, recreation, exercise are crucial right now and parks are essential in that regard, but a backyard BBQ is not and whoever thinks it is sounds like a selfish Ahole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:13 PM Flag
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ALL OF THIS. You are way less likely to distance with a group of friends than with strangers at a park. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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This. OP, if you are going to take a more relaxed approach to risk, you need to own it. People will disagree with you and judge you and think you are irresponsible. This is going to be going on for a while, so you need to be OK with that. You don't need to concoct an alternative reality where everyone who isn't comfortable with the exact same things as you are staying locked in their houses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:52 PM Flag
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THIS! Most people responded to the post saying they would be fine doing this with one or two families. Nobody is a hermit here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:56 PM Flag
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I do own it, and in my response in the PP I said I would go, but if I found people to be behaving in a way I though was reckless I would make an excuse and leave. BUT they way people were reacting to this as if it was completely outrageous to me is bizarre considering the behavior of so many is very far to the other extreme. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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I'll say it again. Other people have a different perception of this risk to you. That doesn't mean people have an all or nothing view on this. In fact, you seem to be the one with an all or nothing mindset: if it's not a crowded bar, it's fine? Accept that people disagree with you. It's really OK for not everyone to condone your choices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:10 PM Flag
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I am fine with that, and its not a choice I have been in the position to make, but think about what you are saying because my point is still valid according to the PP and the reactions and compared to the level of risk OTHER people (IMO recklessly) are comfortable with there is a HUGE disparity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:17 PM Flag
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I honestly have no idea what you are trying to say here ("think about what you are saying?"), but no, your point is not valid. People not being comfortable with a 20 adult plus however-many-kids barbecue, is not the same as people staying shut in their houses. It's just not. They are demonstrably very different things. Nobody has an all or nothing mindset here; they just think your particular choice is dumb and irresponsible. Are you always this upset about people disagreeing with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:21 PM Flag
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Oh for goodness sake. You are like a dog with a bone. I guess you need to argue with someone? I am not upset but you certainly seem to be riled up. You just keep proving my point, its ok. Be safe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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I haven't proved your point at all, and nobody here has but OK. And you are clearly upset or you wouldn't have needed to make a SECOND post to bitch about people disagreeing with your first post. I hope you learn to accept differing viewpoints with serenity, as you're probably going to face a lot of it while this pandemic is going on. Maybe try meditation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:26 PM Flag
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NP. Don't try to argue with OP, she's not being rational. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:27 PM Flag
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I think people should 10000 percent do what they are comfortable with as long as it does not put other people at risk and I could not care less who agrees with my personal choices. You are obtuse and its a waste to engage any further. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:29 PM Flag
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LOL. If you don't care, why did you feel the need to post about it twice, the second time to complain that anyone who disagrees with your choices "doesn't understand" the possibility of a middle ground? But you're right that one of us is obtuse and this conversation is a waste of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:31 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:45 PM Flag
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Agree - OP is a trolly dope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:43 PM Flag
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They haven't at all. Nobody here is saying "Stay inside!", which you seem to think. We just think that ten families getting together for an unnecessary social gathering where distancing will not be feasible, is a higher level of risk than is acceptable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:24 PM Flag
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You seem to really need to believe that anyone that's on board with your 20-person backyard BBQ is a crazy shut in who is still wiping down all the mail. If you want to go, just own that this is a moderately risky activity that is not worth it to most people. I don't think it's practicable for 20 adults with kids and shared food on a grill to socially distance; if they're eating, they won't be wearing masks. The graduation parties where people in Chappaqua got COVID were all outdoors too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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That's *not* on board [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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+100. It's a massive straw-man argument! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:07 AM Flag
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My duty is not to myself or to my friends but to society as a whole. We cannot responsibly gather in such large groups if everyone no is gathering in similarly-sized groups. I am hosting a Zoom 4th party in lieu of my usual Independence blowout. I will send some Snapchat filter ideas and maybe some cocktail recipes and I will be thankful that none of us has lost a parent or been hospitalized. And then I will continue to monitor European reopening guidelines because the US is an absolute disaster. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:17 AM Flag
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snapchat filter ideas, cant wait [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:38 AM Flag
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NP. I can't tell if you are being sarcastic, but if you are, shame on you. OR is trying to be a responsible citizen on the 4th. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:28 AM Flag
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To answer your question, two reasons: 1) ignorance and 2) anger. Some time ago a handful of wealthy, unscrupulous people figured out a way to steal nearly all of the nation's wealth from the majority of the populace. They did this by making false political alliances, gerrymandering and pandering to uneducated groups and, through a variety of means, ensuring that the goal of education in this country would not actually be to created a more educated population. Then, with some luck (i.e., big tech and the financial implications thereof), they were able to take business away from main street with no repercussions and they were also able to essentially eliminate the estate tax by getting people to vote against their economic self-interest due to aforementioned false alliances. They love it when the unwashed masses (= 99%) fight over the scraps that are left. Fighting and polarization over racial injustice, policy brutality, public health and other key issues are -- to them -- convenient distractions from the primary issue which is that those of us in the 99% have been left with scraps and misery. The crazy thing is -- we could actually fix just about all of this. But we're not trending in that direction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:32 AM Flag
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You, I like. Will you stay and fight or wanna move to Canada? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:03 AM Flag
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I think I'm staying, partly out of exhaustion and partly to just keep voting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Loonytunes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:26 AM Flag
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You are so on point. ILY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:48 PM Flag
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20 families is on the "all" end of the all or nothing spectrum you mention. Find a happier medium. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:56 AM Flag
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She said 20 adults, so probably ten or so families. Still too close to "all" for my comfort, though. If they're grilling and sharing food and eating, there is no fucking way they will keep masks on or keep distance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:26 AM Flag
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People understand; they just don't agree with you. Why are you so sure that those things are synonymous? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:54 AM Flag
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I think of myself as in the camp that it is time to take considered risks to balance our mental health needs against staying 100% safe from virus, but I don't think I'd go to even an outdoor party with 20 adults plus kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:10 PM Flag
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Congrats OP, you made most popular. That was your intention, correct? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:46 PM Flag
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Two most popular posts at the same time! She hit the exacta! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] What is Boulder CO like as a place to live? Total culture shock for lifelong NYers? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:05 PM Flag
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People are incredibly outdoorsy and fit there. Biking, hiking, etc is major there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:14 PM Flag
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Agree with this. VERY outdoorsy. Kids learn to ride bicycles at a very young age. Lots of healthy-eating restaurants. It's also a university town, and it has many young people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:23 PM Flag
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It's pretty white and yuppie. Lots of white rich yoga chick hippies. Big craft beer scene. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:15 PM Flag
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It is extremely nice and certainly a culture shock. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:29 PM Flag
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Went to college there and really didn't like it. 360 days of sun which felt oppressive and there was something about the vibe I really didn't like. Not sure how to say it but will think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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Lol, I like how you said 365 days of sun feels oppressive. I feel the same way, but I always thought I was the only one who felt that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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Nope. Summer-hating gal here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:31 PM Flag
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This one wasn't my response- I love summer - esp sun AND thunderstorms- not just one option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:05 PM Flag
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Pp: I love thunderstorms too. I have been so disappointed with the half sunny weather we’ve had recently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:21 PM Flag
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Me too!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:04 PM Flag
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the weather there seems crazy. I have a friend who will post photos one day ugh 80+ and humid, next day, snowstorm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:16 PM Flag
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Grew up here, moved away for school and work, and back now in my early 40’s (married, no DC). I love it because it is home. The beauty of the mountains can be breathtaking some days. Some days I wish I had more anonymity and was surrounded by more ‘reality.’ If you make enough money to afford a nice home with a Mountain View, you’ll be happier. Otherwise, you’ll be in a cookie cutter boring neighborhood, even in Boulder. The outdoors are great, but can be crowded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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I spend a lot of time there for various reasons and while it is an absolutely gorgeous area with near-unparalleled outdoor activities, there is a surprisingly aggressive undertow to their way-cool vibe. The rich yoga moms are super-competitive, for instance. It is also very white and while they sing a progressive tune, I guarantee you that half those moms would freak if a black man wearing anything other than a UPS uniform walked up their driveway. It's also getting really crowded, especially with Google there now. If you really want to move there, I'd live in one of the surrounding towns, personally. Then you get access to Boulder but don't have to be in it all the time. And I second the sun thing. It really messes with you after awhile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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Yes to the aggressive undertow- totally- and it makes no sense. NYC aggression makes sense to me somehow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:06 PM Flag
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Also yes the the racial thing- I was really bothered (a long time ago) that if you saw a black kid on campus you a) noticed and b) they were likely playing a sport at a high level. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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Because NYC doesn’t put on a façade of chillness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:36 PM Flag
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Yes, it is a real culture shock in that there really is no "culture": no theatre, no museums, no art. Limited sports culture. No fashion to look at. Restricted food scene. Very white overall. It's beautiful though, so it depends how much that matters to you and how much of the rest of it (which you have gotten used to living in NYC) you can look past. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend typing program DS 11 could use to learn? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:57 PM Flag
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Typing.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:04 PM Flag
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The only one I can get my guys to do is "typing fingers" - the letters explode or get shot down when you type them. One friend likes nitro type (or something like that) but its more pressure then my kids want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Inspired by the early dating questions. I tend to like rougher sex and a dominant partner. I was in a relationship for a long time so haven’t had ‘new’ sex in awhile. Is this something you say upfront or play by ear and gauge? Curious how other people navigate sexual compatibility 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:57 PM Flag
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I would definitely plan by ear. In the moment you may be able to steer it rougher if the guy is a dominant type, just by your responses. If not a dominant type you won't want him anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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Good point I guess partly I’m wondering if I should be open to non dominant guys bc they have other great traits even though it’s not my preferred kind of sex. Listening to all my married friends it seems like that fades anyway so maybe I should focus more on other qualities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:02 PM Flag
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I guess it depends how important sex is to you, and how big the gap is between the sex you want and the sex you're having. For me, good sex goes a long way toward smoothing out the bumps in life. It is hard enough making a life with someone and being around them every day. I've been with more beta types (ended in divorce) and my current partner is a gentle-ish alpha. He is not naturally a big spanker but he will do it when I ask. Household negotiations are a bit more difficult though ;) Its a continuum not black and white [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:26 PM Flag
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On the other hand, sex is super important. I would do best with a partner who was super dominant in bed, but more of a partner in regular life. I have the best life partner, but the sex is an issue. I need to be spanked hard, regularly, but that's not something we really do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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Wow, that's essentially how I feel too. How have you made this work? Does your partner know what you want but it's not his nature so not able to do it or what? Overall, are you glad with your choice? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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We've tried, but it isn't his nature. I love him and yes, overall I'm glad with my choice. There are multiple ways I disappoint him too. He still loves me. We each get about 80-90% of what we want and that's pretty good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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Third this. I have a pretty dominate personality but in the bedroom I kind of like to be more laid back. I can certainly take charge but I need a more aggressive partner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:35 PM Flag
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This is me too, but unfortunately for me, DH is only occasionally that way, and the rest of the time wants me to take the lead, which I don't want to do, and then he feels neglected. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:23 AM Flag
[ - ] I just started exploring dating again and I met this guy over the weekend. He is very nice but I am not sure if I am totally into him. While I love his enthusiasm and style, how do I convey that I am not ready to have frequent calls such as daily with him yet. However, I don't want to give the impression I am not interested either.. Any suggestions? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:35 PM Flag
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I totally get this I’m also in the early stages of dating and have posted here as well. People seemed to advise me to be open and see enthusiasm as a sign of availability. How often is the guy calling you? I think it’s normal not to know after one date! That’s why you’re dating to see if he’s someone you’d be into or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:50 PM Flag
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I don't know how often he wants to call me but I feel like he wants daily calls. I think I will just tell him that I am not a phone call person at this stage. It's way too early. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:27 PM Flag
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Oh god, I hate phone calls, period, whether or not I like a person. Any way to ween him onto brief text messages or something? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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You could just not pick up when he calls or pick up and say you only have a minute or text him back instead [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:13 PM Flag
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Wait you met him once and he wants frequent calls?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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Yeah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:09 AM Flag
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It sounds to me like you're just not that into him and it isn't going to change. Do him and yourself a favor and just turn down the next date and end it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:00 AM Flag
[ - ] I have been watching "Dead to Me" on Netflix... so far "meh" the first few episodes were hard to get through, some were ok, now I feel the plot is getting more interesting (ep. 11 season 1) but still not loving it. What is your opinion? Any other shows you would recommend? I can't find anything, I think I watched all the good ones. Thanks. Any recs for Prime work too. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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I could never get into either. It's OK and I like both female characters and actresses. Have you seen Broadchurch? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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Also, The Boys on Prime. It's really good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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op- no, I never heard of it... will look it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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+1 for Broadchurch. It’s not my usual genre but I watched it in the early stages of Covid and loved it. I also really liked Little Drummer Girl it’s a six part Bbc miniseries based on the John Le Carre book. The costumes were amazing as was the acting imho and it’s a bit under the radar in terms of it hasn’t been recommended a million times [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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np. Thanks, I love JLC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:56 PM Flag
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I also watched the Night Watchmen which is an Amazon six part series based on JLC too with Hugh Laurie. It got great reviews but I thought it was very so so compared to Little Drummer Girl. I also loved the Affair—either season 3 or 4 is iffy but all the others are great and I loved the character development. If you haven’t seen Big Little Lies that’s another easy one. I also watched Dare Me (based on a Megan Abbot book with the same name if anyone likes her writing I thought it was excellent and much better than Euphoria supposedly Hbo passed on Dare Me in favor of Euphoria [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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Oh Normal People on Hulu too. I loved the book as well as Sally Rooney’s other book Conversations w Friends. I know a few people who have watched Normal People and everyone has really liked it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:03 PM Flag
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I liked it. also season 2. did you watch You? The Politician? Cheer? Morning Show? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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np. Is S2 of the Politician good? I felt it lost some steam towards the end of S1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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I actually only watched season 1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:38 PM Flag
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op- thanks for all these recommendations. Unfortunately I don't have Hulu. Watched the trailer for the Politician - not crazy about the main character. Is the show good though? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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I only watched the 1st season so far and found it very entertaining. I think you are supposed to hate the main character [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:05 PM Flag
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Season 2 was really good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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I absolutely loved Younger. I think it's on Hulu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:59 PM Flag
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Godless, Wanted (an Australian series), Peaky Blinders, Bloodline [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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Have you seen Killing Eve? My DD and I loved that show. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you think the US messed up by moving to shut down everywhere at basically the same time when clearly it was premature in many places? Should we have instead monitored the spread in less dense states and shut down at a different time? They in turn would have made it easier for reopening to be staggered too, instead so many places reopened too soon because the people and they economy couldn’t sustain the shut down anymore. I’m in CA and this seems to be the case here, we did a decent job of shutting down but reopened too soon, the spread was very slow at first and we could probably have gone a few more weeks before total shutdown without a huge surge in cases 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:19 PM Flag
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Yes totally. People who were shut down in places with hardly any cases came for believe it was bullshit and now they are out in force. And I don’t think the level of shut down was necessary. It appears that the primary places it’s spreading are parties and bars now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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I agree, this is what Italy and a couple of other countries did - and they were successful in containing the virus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:30 PM Flag
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nope. The whole country should have shut down from March 14 (really sooner, but that was when it was evident). For 6 weeks. 2 weeks for the last person who had been exposed to get sick. A week for the last person to who got sick to need hospitalization needed to go. And unfortunately, 3 weeks for them to die. Then open up with: Masks everywhere, and social distance everywhere. The virus is seeded all across the country now and when the true second wave happens in the fall, it will emerge everywhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:27 PM Flag
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Sadly, this is true. I wish masks were mandatory now (even though they should have been from the beginning). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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why do people think there will be a second wave rather than one stew that we are in? Serious question. I thought the concept of second wave was based on assumption that summer heat would slow it down significantly (like flu), but as we can see from TX/FL/AZ, that does not appear to be true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:38 PM Flag
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they are all inside because of the heat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:10 AM Flag
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I think everybody should have shut down and stayed home for three months and opened on the same schedules, regardless of what anybody thought was their local risk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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this. but we have no coordinated response because we have no federal leadership. With all these variances, we have people fleeing one hotspot to somewhere less hot, and back again (e.g. NY to FL back to NY.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:35 PM Flag
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If only there were some federal effort with smart, thoughtful people working under the authority of the President to create a comprehensive centralized plan for shutdown, testing, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:47 PM Flag
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can you imagine what getting a vaccine will be like?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:03 PM Flag
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We didn't all shut down at once. It was a totally chaotic, uncoordinated response at the federal level that required a patchwork of best guesses from state and local governments. Many of those let it get political instead of administrative and opened too soon, again I put that at the federal government's door. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:49 PM Flag
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^^ edit - totally chaotic, uncoordinated NON-response from the federal level [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:49 PM Flag
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+100000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:50 PM Flag
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Exactly. This required a centralized, coordinated response with expert guidance. Instead, the federal govt. went AWOL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:57 PM Flag
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we are a dumb country and we have to accept this first before we can move forward with a plan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:03 AM Flag
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The openings have also been ass backward in CA, they still haven’t opened my town’s fields for outdoor sports but you can go to hot yoga and the nail salon and of course bars until a couple of days ago. Makes no sense to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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HOT YOGA? HOLY SH.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:53 PM Flag
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I’m in Ca. Where is hot yoga and nail salons open? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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LA. It’s ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:19 PM Flag
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I'm in LA and our hot yoga place is still closed, as it should be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:38 PM Flag
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The purpose of the shutdown was multifold - first to avoid overwhelming the healthcare system, and second to give the government time to establish a robust and reliable testing system. Ideally, we would be able to test everyone and control the spread that way. Clearly the second didn’t happen. If it had, our story would be closer to what Taiwan and s korea have experienced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Need a fun way to tell our kids we are getting the dog they have been begging for. We have to tell them before it comes because no way to hide all the stuff for the dog from them. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:14 PM Flag
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Tell them someone else is getting a dog and start buying things for a gift for them. Last thing is the dog bed. With all the “gifts” in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:21 PM Flag
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Make a treasure hunt that ends w finding a collar and leash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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Get a crate with a big ribbon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:23 AM Flag
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Hey kids I am sorry but we are never going to get you that puppy you have been hoping for. PSYCH!!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:34 PM Flag
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This will be so fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Need to change a part of a chandelier, no idea where it was bought. How do I do this? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:11 PM Flag
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Any identifying marks on it or is it vintage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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Not vintage, but no marks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:14 PM Flag
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The Lamp Surgeon is supposed to be good. No idea of prices, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Can someone recommend a mask that is very easy to breathe in? A link would be appreciated. TIA. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 07:53 PM Flag
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What's your complaint? I have masks from 4 different companies and a homemade mask and none are difficult to breathe in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 07:55 PM Flag
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Under Armor has a good one for sports [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 07:57 PM Flag
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Joah Love's gauze line is good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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Remember, if you can see light through a mask, it isn't working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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or if you can blow a candle when wearing it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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I just bought a pack of 3 from J Mclaughlin... never bought any clothes but keep getting emails. The masks looked cute and it's 18 for 3. They are good quality cotton and wide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:23 PM Flag
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This. you want a mask that is tight woven cotton, 3 layers preferred, min 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:25 PM Flag
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I can see light through those blue surgical masks does that mean they are not working ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:19 PM Flag
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Just got a bunch from Old Navy that are very comfortable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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+1. Kids masks are great too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:08 PM Flag
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Surgical masks are easiest for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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+1. I wash mine and they are fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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How do you wash them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:40 PM Flag
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In the washer. I washed a few by mistake when my kids left them in their pocket and they came out fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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I think surgical masks become ineffective when washed and wet. They lose their static, which is the property that attracts the virus to the surface of the mask - and keeps it there. That is also why they recommend you throw away the surgical mask when it gets wet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:00 PM Flag
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Surgical masks are easiest for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:27 PM Flag
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do surgical masks do a decent job? I also feel I can breathe comfortably, but sometimes wonder if they are not too thin... I bought 2 different brands at amazon, they look the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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Too thin? They're SURGICAL MASKS! Jeez. Surgeons work with their faces pointed directly at patients who's insides are exposed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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But are all those blue ones sold on amazon in packs of 50, surgical masks - or just cheap, similar ones? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:45 PM Flag
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that's what we've been using. Don't hve any antibodies so I guess they are working [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:13 AM Flag
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most of the masks on amazon or ebay are ok for most interactions. if you want better look for atsm level 2 masks, they have 99% filtration. i went on ebay looking for FDA certified masks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:19 PM Flag
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I like the KN95s. Much snugger fit and they stick out from your face so you have more breathing room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:24 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:48 PM Flag