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06.30.20, 21:33 PM General Topics
72 replies
Spinoff on the backyard BBQ post. Why can't people understand it is not necessarily stay in your home and don't go out, OR go and get drunk in an indoor crowded bar? There are in between areas that are ways to SAFELY get back out into society. IMO it is this all or nothing attitude (and of course other things) that has much of this country in the trouble its in now. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.30.20, 09:33 PM Flag
 

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I think people understand that, but think a BBQ with 20 adults plus however many kids (so, like, ten families??) is too far along that risk spectrum for right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:37 PM Flag
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This! Two or three families getting together, fine. Ten? Way too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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No. Read the responses. They do not understand that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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I have read the responses and I disagree with your interpretation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:40 PM Flag
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I responded and yes, I understand that. I also understand that 20 adults plus children could be a viral zoo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:17 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:17 PM Flag
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OP fails to recognize that most of the posters were fine with the idea of a couple of families getting together but felt that 20 adults plus kids, was too risky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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2 families is one thing. Don’t need group of 20++ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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20 adults. Probably at least as many kids again if they're families of four, on average. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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This! Adults will be drinking and chatting, the kids will be running together with no supervision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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Right? The chances of someone being exposed goes up with each new household introduced to the group. You are sharing food, almost no way to serve while social distancing, people won't wear masks while eating/drinking. This is nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:44 PM Flag
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I don’t think people who are very cautious are really the issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:40 PM Flag
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Only in the sense that they give the irresponsible people a handy straw man. "We can't all stay locked up forever!" Nobody is asking you to, calm down Susan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Lol. I think Susans are still wiping down their mail, though. Not sure what the "We're being LOCKED UP!!!!!1!!" moms are called. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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Republicans [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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I snorted tea out of my nose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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I'm friends with three sisters on Facebook - childhood friends who all still live in the suburbs where I grew up. Each of the three has a family (DW, DH and 2-3 kids per household). They are each constantly posting pictures of themselves and their kids out and about with their own individual friends... and then all three families get together every week (along with their respective grandparents/in-laws). I feel like I'm doing some sort of social media contact tracing just by following them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:40 PM Flag
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No, it's the failure to realize that the virus doesn't give a shit about special events like 4th of July that has this country in the trouble it's in. "Oh but it's graduation!" "Oh but it's Memorial Day!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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THIS! I thought the whole argument for "getting back to normal" was supposedly fiscal: open up the economy, get businesses going again. Okay, we did that. Can you all just chill a minute with the hard core social shit now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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The thing about that post is that is a totally unnecessary occasion. Agreed that there are safe in-between a but there should be a purpose for those. A 20-person bbq just screams of entitlement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:08 PM Flag
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It's a total middle finger to the rest of society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:13 PM Flag
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"Oh, but the Gunderson ALWAYS host their July 4th BBQ. Everyone's going!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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"It's fine - none of us are high risk" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:17 PM Flag
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Yes! An F you to medical workers, to anyone who has lost a loved one, and to those in economic hardship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:05 AM Flag
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Op: All of these idiotic responses have just proved my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:21 PM Flag
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?? What idiotic responses. It sounds like most everyone on this thread agrees with you - that it shouldn't be all or nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:23 PM Flag
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OP thinks that refraining from barbecuing with ten families is "nothing." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:25 PM Flag
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Incorrect. My point was that the responses in the PP were going crazy as if this was the equivalent to crowding an indoor bar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:29 PM Flag
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No, nobody thinks that they are equivalent, just that this is still too risky. The fact that crowding an indoor bar is the highest level of risk doesn't automatically make everything less than that OK. You seem to be struggling with nuance and the fact that it is a continuum of risk, which is somewhat ironic given your post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:33 PM Flag
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This is exactly the opposite [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:36 PM Flag
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No, it is not. You originally claimed that "staying in your home and not going out" was the opposite to a crowded bar. Now suddenly a barbecue with ten families is the opposite to a crowded bar, and anyone who isn't comfortable with that is a shut-in. You are suffering from the exact logic problem that you claim to be calling out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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This. OP you are on a whole other plane of reality. WTF are you drinking and can I have some? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:39 PM Flag
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Because I fully believe that the BBQ in PP is within the realms of safety. There is no reason that 10 couples cannot congregate outside and maintain social distance. I think this is a reasonable way to get out into society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:45 PM Flag
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Ok, and others disagree with your assessment of the risk of this event. That doesn't mean that they are taking an "all or nothing" approach or staying shut in their houses; it also doesn't make a forty-person barbecue "the opposite" of a crowded bar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:47 PM Flag
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I am not sure how it became 40 people, but either way its still my opinion that if people are going to beaches, and shopping in stores and eating in restaurants that an outdoor bbq would be a very reasonable way for people to be around each other and still easily be able to maintain social distance. I think splitting hairs about weather its 20 adults or 10 adults is really not the issue. Stay 6 feet away from people and how is this different from the park or a beach or a sports game which apparently kids are now playing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:52 PM Flag
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Twenty adults. Presumably as many kids, if most couples have (on average) two kids. And the significance of ten adults vs 20 adults is that each new person/household means additional risk that someone has been exposed to the virus. You're allowed to have your opinion, but most people commenting (including me) don't think that maintaining social distance in this setting is going to be practicable while sharing food, kids playing, etc etc. You still haven't explained how that equates to people having an all or nothing viewpoint, which is the apparent point of this spin-off. People just have a different level of comfort with this scenario than you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:55 PM Flag
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Ok are you sending your kids to camp? Are you going to the beach or pool or park? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:05 PM Flag
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My choices aren't the issue here, but no, kids aren't going to camp because it was canceled. We go to the beach and park as a family and stay away from other families there. We are socializing with two other families who we trust to similarly be sensible. But according to you, we are "staying locked up inside"? And you think other people are the ones with an all-or-nothing mindset? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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A. Just because people are doing it doesn't mean it's ok (as exhibited by the rise in Covid cases around the country) B. It's different in that it involves people who know each other and are more likely to take their guard down (masks down, less than 6 feet) and the touching of shared surfaces (paper plates, cups, serving utensils, condiments, balls, bats, bathroom surfaces) C. It's completely unnecessary. I am 100% of the opinion that fresh air, recreation, exercise are crucial right now and parks are essential in that regard, but a backyard BBQ is not and whoever thinks it is sounds like a selfish Ahole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:13 PM Flag
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ALL OF THIS. You are way less likely to distance with a group of friends than with strangers at a park. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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This. OP, if you are going to take a more relaxed approach to risk, you need to own it. People will disagree with you and judge you and think you are irresponsible. This is going to be going on for a while, so you need to be OK with that. You don't need to concoct an alternative reality where everyone who isn't comfortable with the exact same things as you are staying locked in their houses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:52 PM Flag
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THIS! Most people responded to the post saying they would be fine doing this with one or two families. Nobody is a hermit here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:56 PM Flag
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I do own it, and in my response in the PP I said I would go, but if I found people to be behaving in a way I though was reckless I would make an excuse and leave. BUT they way people were reacting to this as if it was completely outrageous to me is bizarre considering the behavior of so many is very far to the other extreme. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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I'll say it again. Other people have a different perception of this risk to you. That doesn't mean people have an all or nothing view on this. In fact, you seem to be the one with an all or nothing mindset: if it's not a crowded bar, it's fine? Accept that people disagree with you. It's really OK for not everyone to condone your choices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:10 PM Flag
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I am fine with that, and its not a choice I have been in the position to make, but think about what you are saying because my point is still valid according to the PP and the reactions and compared to the level of risk OTHER people (IMO recklessly) are comfortable with there is a HUGE disparity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:17 PM Flag
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I honestly have no idea what you are trying to say here ("think about what you are saying?"), but no, your point is not valid. People not being comfortable with a 20 adult plus however-many-kids barbecue, is not the same as people staying shut in their houses. It's just not. They are demonstrably very different things. Nobody has an all or nothing mindset here; they just think your particular choice is dumb and irresponsible. Are you always this upset about people disagreeing with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:21 PM Flag
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Oh for goodness sake. You are like a dog with a bone. I guess you need to argue with someone? I am not upset but you certainly seem to be riled up. You just keep proving my point, its ok. Be safe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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I haven't proved your point at all, and nobody here has but OK. And you are clearly upset or you wouldn't have needed to make a SECOND post to bitch about people disagreeing with your first post. I hope you learn to accept differing viewpoints with serenity, as you're probably going to face a lot of it while this pandemic is going on. Maybe try meditation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:26 PM Flag
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NP. Don't try to argue with OP, she's not being rational. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:27 PM Flag
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I think people should 10000 percent do what they are comfortable with as long as it does not put other people at risk and I could not care less who agrees with my personal choices. You are obtuse and its a waste to engage any further. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:29 PM Flag
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LOL. If you don't care, why did you feel the need to post about it twice, the second time to complain that anyone who disagrees with your choices "doesn't understand" the possibility of a middle ground? But you're right that one of us is obtuse and this conversation is a waste of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:31 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:45 PM Flag
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Agree - OP is a trolly dope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:43 PM Flag
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They haven't at all. Nobody here is saying "Stay inside!", which you seem to think. We just think that ten families getting together for an unnecessary social gathering where distancing will not be feasible, is a higher level of risk than is acceptable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:24 PM Flag
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You seem to really need to believe that anyone that's on board with your 20-person backyard BBQ is a crazy shut in who is still wiping down all the mail. If you want to go, just own that this is a moderately risky activity that is not worth it to most people. I don't think it's practicable for 20 adults with kids and shared food on a grill to socially distance; if they're eating, they won't be wearing masks. The graduation parties where people in Chappaqua got COVID were all outdoors too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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That's *not* on board [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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+100. It's a massive straw-man argument! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:07 AM Flag
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My duty is not to myself or to my friends but to society as a whole. We cannot responsibly gather in such large groups if everyone no is gathering in similarly-sized groups. I am hosting a Zoom 4th party in lieu of my usual Independence blowout. I will send some Snapchat filter ideas and maybe some cocktail recipes and I will be thankful that none of us has lost a parent or been hospitalized. And then I will continue to monitor European reopening guidelines because the US is an absolute disaster. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:17 AM Flag
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snapchat filter ideas, cant wait [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:38 AM Flag
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NP. I can't tell if you are being sarcastic, but if you are, shame on you. OR is trying to be a responsible citizen on the 4th. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:28 AM Flag
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To answer your question, two reasons: 1) ignorance and 2) anger. Some time ago a handful of wealthy, unscrupulous people figured out a way to steal nearly all of the nation's wealth from the majority of the populace. They did this by making false political alliances, gerrymandering and pandering to uneducated groups and, through a variety of means, ensuring that the goal of education in this country would not actually be to created a more educated population. Then, with some luck (i.e., big tech and the financial implications thereof), they were able to take business away from main street with no repercussions and they were also able to essentially eliminate the estate tax by getting people to vote against their economic self-interest due to aforementioned false alliances. They love it when the unwashed masses (= 99%) fight over the scraps that are left. Fighting and polarization over racial injustice, policy brutality, public health and other key issues are -- to them -- convenient distractions from the primary issue which is that those of us in the 99% have been left with scraps and misery. The crazy thing is -- we could actually fix just about all of this. But we're not trending in that direction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:32 AM Flag
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You, I like. Will you stay and fight or wanna move to Canada? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:03 AM Flag
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I think I'm staying, partly out of exhaustion and partly to just keep voting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Loonytunes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:26 AM Flag
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You are so on point. ILY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:48 PM Flag
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20 families is on the "all" end of the all or nothing spectrum you mention. Find a happier medium. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:56 AM Flag
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She said 20 adults, so probably ten or so families. Still too close to "all" for my comfort, though. If they're grilling and sharing food and eating, there is no fucking way they will keep masks on or keep distance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:26 AM Flag
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People understand; they just don't agree with you. Why are you so sure that those things are synonymous? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:54 AM Flag
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I think of myself as in the camp that it is time to take considered risks to balance our mental health needs against staying 100% safe from virus, but I don't think I'd go to even an outdoor party with 20 adults plus kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:10 PM Flag
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Congrats OP, you made most popular. That was your intention, correct? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:46 PM Flag
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Two most popular posts at the same time! She hit the exacta! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:19 PM Flag
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