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06.30.20, 22:22 PM General Topics
14 replies
I am that poster who has been trying to have a second child for 3 years. Multiple IVF fails, then moved on to donor eggs, couldn't chose a donor, then first FET with donor eggs failed. Second FET took - I am pregnant. I was 42 when I started - I am 45 now. And I think I made a mistake. Dont know how to do this anymore, not sure about donor eggs, the world is going insane, and I am too old. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.30.20, 10:22 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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Had donor egg baby at 45. I regretted it for years. Really wished I hadn't.Fast forward to now when DD is 12. It's awesome and best decision I ever made. It'snot like having a kid in your 30s ("Older mom") but it is fantastic and no more selfish than having a kid at any other age. Be kind to yourself and ask for help when you need it. It's so great to see the world thru her eyes... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:30 PM Flag
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Congratulations!!! I remember getting pregnant with my 2nd...there is a large gap between 1 and 2 and thinking wtf did I just do!!! I absolutely adore the second. Being old has it's benefits. You will be a such more relaxed parent. Remember kids don't care about your age, they care about your love and attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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Why are you having doubts now? There’s a high chance you’ll have a happy, healthy child in a few months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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I became a mom by adoption just as I turned 45. You can do this! You have years of wisdom and all of the patience and knowledge you gained from your first child. You will have the energy, despite what the ageists on this board will tell you. It’ll be wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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I think one thing to anchor on is that you're a vet now. So not being a new mom means things really will fall in line much easier. Congratulations! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:37 PM Flag
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I have been trying for 2nd for a while as well. Similar story. I’m 46 now and if I get lucky will have large gap. I wish I could talk to you irl. First off congrats. You will be okay. It’s so normal to be unsure. I think when we want something so much and try for so long we think we’re not entitled to all the feelings that everyone else has. There is also so much pent up stress and sadness that when you finally get pregnant it’s a mixed bag. You are not too old, the world has always been insane and most people seem to mostly be sorry they didn’t go to diner sooner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:39 PM Flag
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^donor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:41 PM Flag
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Will be even sweeter and more precious when it happens. Only the ones who had kids young will naysay. You will be so so so happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:44 PM Flag
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My friend was 45. Our kids are 11. She has stayed young and is one of the most active moms at the school. She still stays home and now they are easing into retirement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:22 AM Flag
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You’ve got this mama. You have been through a lot physically, emotionally, the world is upside down. Take care of yourself right now. Give yourself a minute to start to be excited about being a mama of 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 12:58 AM Flag
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DH became a father for the first time at 50, second time at 52. He is loving it. He's a very active primary parent to our two kids. They are keeping him young. Congratulations on achieving your goal. Enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:34 AM Flag
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I have a 6.5 year gap between my two kids and after being told I would never get pregnant again of course it happened naturally on its own. This happened the month after DH and I decided we were done and actually no longer wanted a second because we loved the much more manageable stage we were finally at with our oldest and did not want to go back to the baby stage. I was shocked and upset when I first found out and pretty ambivalent/regretful the entire pregnancy, but from the moment baby #2 was born that all faded away and we are all obsessed and could not imagine life differently. I am slightly younger (41) but you've got this and it's also ok to go through all the emotions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 02:27 AM Flag
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Good for you! Please don't second guess yourself and try to enjoy. What you're doing is powerful and special. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:24 AM Flag
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I have a 5 yo DE conceived DC. Long-term infertility leaves you with a form of PTSD. Also pregnancy is abnormal. I mean it's normal, but everything is screwed up, and your emotions big part. Be kind to yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:41 AM Flag
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