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06.30.20, 20:57 PM General Topics
8 replies
Inspired by the early dating questions. I tend to like rougher sex and a dominant partner. I was in a relationship for a long time so haven’t had ‘new’ sex in awhile. Is this something you say upfront or play by ear and gauge? Curious how other people navigate sexual compatibility [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.30.20, 08:57 PM Flag
 

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I would definitely plan by ear. In the moment you may be able to steer it rougher if the guy is a dominant type, just by your responses. If not a dominant type you won't want him anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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Good point I guess partly I’m wondering if I should be open to non dominant guys bc they have other great traits even though it’s not my preferred kind of sex. Listening to all my married friends it seems like that fades anyway so maybe I should focus more on other qualities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:02 PM Flag
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I guess it depends how important sex is to you, and how big the gap is between the sex you want and the sex you're having. For me, good sex goes a long way toward smoothing out the bumps in life. It is hard enough making a life with someone and being around them every day. I've been with more beta types (ended in divorce) and my current partner is a gentle-ish alpha. He is not naturally a big spanker but he will do it when I ask. Household negotiations are a bit more difficult though ;) Its a continuum not black and white [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:26 PM Flag
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On the other hand, sex is super important. I would do best with a partner who was super dominant in bed, but more of a partner in regular life. I have the best life partner, but the sex is an issue. I need to be spanked hard, regularly, but that's not something we really do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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Wow, that's essentially how I feel too. How have you made this work? Does your partner know what you want but it's not his nature so not able to do it or what? Overall, are you glad with your choice? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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We've tried, but it isn't his nature. I love him and yes, overall I'm glad with my choice. There are multiple ways I disappoint him too. He still loves me. We each get about 80-90% of what we want and that's pretty good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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Third this. I have a pretty dominate personality but in the bedroom I kind of like to be more laid back. I can certainly take charge but I need a more aggressive partner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.20, 10:35 PM Flag
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This is me too, but unfortunately for me, DH is only occasionally that way, and the rest of the time wants me to take the lead, which I don't want to do, and then he feels neglected. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 01:23 AM Flag
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