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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Is it a terrible idea to take my teen ds and 4 of his friends to our summer home for a few days in early July? Too risky with Covid? All the other moms are on board, guess we are all feeling sorry for them being isolated from friends since March... 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:23 PM Flag
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I wouldn't want to be responsible for this. All the moms are "on board" now, but god forbid someone there was infected and spread it during this trip, it's funny how suddenly the same moms will blame you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:28 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:30 AM Flag
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If they and their families all agree to strictly quarantine for 2 weeks in advance, it would be fine with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:37 PM Flag
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Same, but that would require that their entire families are isolating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:42 PM Flag
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Day camps are opening on 6/29, so not sure this is any different (or possibly even better because teens don't tend to cough on or touch each other as much as little kids do) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:02 PM Flag
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Just because they are opening doesn’t mean the risk is gone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:43 PM Flag
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No. It's a great idea. How are the kids going to go back to school if we are afraid to be together at all? In our house the rule is stay outside as much as possible with friends and always wear masks if you are not 6ft apart or any time you are indoors. Have them sleep head to toe because they won't want to wear masks to sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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I think it's fine. Camps are about to open and it's just 5 of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:05 PM Flag
[ - ] My very p/t assistant (not on payroll) unbeknownst to me filed a claim naming me me as a “former employee.” But I didn’t lay him off. I gave him work in both April & May—he just hasn’t invoiced me yet. Now I’m in a bind. NYS Dept of Labor sent me a form with his claim. I feel I should tell them he was never laid off, and click the box that says “voluntarily quit.” But this would mean he won’t get unemployment benefits. His main work is as a freelance musician, so most of his income comes from gigs which have all been canceled. Should I lie and let him collect UI? I haven’t technically paid him for April and May yet. But I also need continued p/t help in the coming months. So confused. What would you do? This might be the end of our relationship. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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Not appropriate that you haven't paid him for April yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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you don't understand--he invoices me to get paid. has done this every month until now. i don't keep track of his hrs--he does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:49 PM Flag
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Let him collect he needs money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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you don't understand how this work. Her insurance rates will forever be higher AND she will be lying to the government. He may be entitled to UE because of his work as a musician, but he is NOT entitled to UE because of her work -- she still employs him. It sounds like he filled out the forms wrong [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:05 PM Flag
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YOu do understand you are telling her to commit fraud, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:08 PM Flag
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If you need him, why did you not pay him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:47 PM Flag
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i need his invoice first--that's why. of course i would pay him! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:49 PM Flag
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did it not occur to you in COVID to reach out and nudge him about the check? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 05:53 PM Flag
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^^ sorry, invoice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 05:54 PM Flag
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op: ok so if i let him collect, do i ALSO remind him to invoice me for the work he did? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:50 PM Flag
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No, you cannot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:29 PM Flag
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He might be able to collect, but he filled out the forms wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:06 PM Flag
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I disagree with the other posts. If you say that he was indeed a former employee but you never paid social security etc for him, the IRS might come after you. In reality I guess he is an independent contractor, correct? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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Why don't you call him and talk about all of this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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If he's a contractor he can't collect unemployment (or at least that's how it used to work before the cares act). You should not lie. And you should fine new help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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^find new help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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You should call him and tell him you haven't received his invoices. You should pay his invoices when you get them (which is sounds like you were going to do) and, most importantly, you should NOT lie to the government. He did not quit, nor did you lay him off. He has continued to work for you and you should tell him that is what you will have to tell the DOL so he really should amend his unemployment claim. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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This last post-er is 100% correct. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:06 PM Flag
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Yes, exactly this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:49 PM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 02:09 AM Flag
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You actually don't know if he will get the benefits. You may be one of many former employers listed. The problem is you are not a former employer -- you are a current employer and you need to truthfully tell that to the DOL, or you are helping him to commit fraud [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:07 PM Flag
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I would be honest. Nobody can fault you and it's ridiculous this guy is trying to scam the government and also trying to scam you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:37 PM Flag
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FYI, the employer’s UI rate usually increases when an employee collects UI. There usually is a brief hearing when there is a disagreement about whether or not the employee is entitled to collect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:30 PM Flag
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I thought that if they were not on payroll, they cannot list you an an employer. You did not pay unemployment taxes on them. They were independent and should have filed their own income/payroll taxes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:36 PM Flag
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I was on urbanbaby a month ago asking essentially the same question about receiving a form of dol on my voluntarily quit nanny filing unemployment. I paid her on the books btw. I did some research and found out that basically if one person files for unemployment, all her former employers in the past 18months will be sent the form. I assume my former nanny was laid off by her employer after me and filed, legitimately. I was just sent the form for liability calculation. So I returned the form truthfully that she quit her job voluntarily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:56 AM Flag
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many employers don't even bother to respond. Why don't you take that route? That way you aren't lying, just say nothing and let DOL decide/figure it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 01:42 AM Flag
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so technically, you are not his employer....you are a client if he invoices you, he is a contractor....do you give him a 1099? Just be honest in case.....not worth lying over [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 02:07 AM Flag
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yes i give him a 1099 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 02:16 AM Flag
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This. I would not lie. Just be truthful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:54 PM Flag
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Sounds like a 1099 independent contractor given that payment is via invoice - not a W2 employee. If this wasn't your employee it isn't in your interest to lie and say this was an employee. You should speak with a lawyer if you need counsel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] This online schooling is killing our family - HS level and kept grading. So much work piled on. All final projects instead of exams which would actually be less work. Insane. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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I understand, but parents who are experiencing the flip side of that are also complaining. I think remote learning just sucks in general whether it's project-based, exam-heavy, synchronous, asynchronous, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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This x 100. It's a shitty situation, nobody wanted it, and most schools are trying their best. At HS level, where credit is important for graduation and (some) parents/students would complain if classes went pass/fail and they missed a chance to boost their GPA, I can see why they make the decision to try to maintain the rigour of the class. I can also see the argument for going pass/fail and making it easier. Some people will be unhappy either way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:06 PM Flag
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It' an impossible situation. Everyone is suffering right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:25 PM Flag
[ - ] My 9yo is doing everything in his power to irritate the F out of me today and my work is busy. Serenity now! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:50 PM Flag
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Mine just unenrolled himself from all of his google classes. Ugh. Not sure how to get them back or whether he knew what he was doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:04 PM Flag
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FFS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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My 9 yo refuses to do his school work . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:20 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:30 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:02 PM Flag
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YUP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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No screens until he does. Every morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:28 PM Flag
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Put him in a big hoodie or sweatshirt, have him cross his arms and tie the sleeves behind him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Spinoff of housecleaner post. I'm an ER doctor who had a fairly new-to-us (just a couple of months) house keeper come by once every two weeks. She stopped coming around mid-March when Covid hit. I knew cleaning was her only source of income, so I have been paying her. She told me she was grateful and that no one else had offered to do this. She contacted me about a month ago saying, "Let me know when you think it's safe for me to come back." I indicated as much (our ER is in a rural area and we have not had a Covid case in weeks) but did not hear back. I'm fairly sure she has gone back to work for others. If she has income again, and she's cleaning for others, I'd rather not continue paying her if she has made the choice to not return to clean for me yet. Does that sound reasonable? How would you phrase this? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Just how are you sure she has gone to work for others? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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Not 100%- just an educated guess based off the fact she mentioned coming back for us, and she has expressed extra concern given my line of work. That’s part of what I’d like to know, actually! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:57 PM Flag
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Decide if you want to keep her or not. If yes, ask her to come back and see what she says. No point to continue paying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:59 PM Flag
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based on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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is this a grammar correction? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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i would have stopped paying a week after her not responding to you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:44 PM Flag
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THis [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:24 PM Flag
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Yes it does - especially if you were the only one to pay her through all of it. "Hi XX, I just wanted to follow up. It is ok to come back to work. Let me know when you will be starting at our house again." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:45 PM Flag
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But change the last sentence to. “I would like you back starting x date.” See how she responds! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:59 PM Flag
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Did you contact her again? Shoot her a text right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:48 PM Flag
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No, was looking on suggestions on how to best phrase. The above is good, and simple! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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Sort of similar situation. I asked the cleaner to come back and it turns out she cannot come on our regular day for 2 weeks. So that means I have been paying but she has been working for someone else. The difference is, I really like her and don't want to fire her. But I feel like a total loser. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:53 PM Flag
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So no pay for next 2 weeks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:07 PM Flag
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Frankly I would be open about it and express how I feel. As long at conversations remain considerate, I feel that I've move beyond tiptoeing around people's feelings. When I have a question or concern, I ask - not bluntly but directly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:34 PM Flag
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Yes, I think I will say something, just to close that chapter. We didn't discuss whether she permanently has someone new on my day or just those 2 weeks. I want to have that conversation in person. Our income has been seriously reduced but I wanted to make sure she stays with us, so that's probably adding to the negative feelings too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:19 PM Flag
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Maybe she has a childcare issue? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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She doesn't have kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:45 PM Flag
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I paid our housekeeper for what ended up being 7 weeks without her working for us at all. I wanted to hold on to her for her regular hours (she works for us 25 hours/week). I couldn't guarantee that she wasn't working for someone else during that time, but the way I thought of it was that it wasn't safe for her to be working at that time and I didn't want to be the one responsible for making her go out to work and possibly getting sick. So it relieved my conscience. But I would be upset if she said she couldn't come for her regular hours now--I was paying her to hold the time! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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Give her a day you need her to come back [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:21 PM Flag
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Mine is back already started last week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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Hijack, I am in CA and I asked our cleaner (whom I have been paying) to let me know when she feels comfortable returning. Found out she is cleaning for a neighbor. I want to be fair to her but don't know how to navigate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:59 PM Flag
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Stop paying her! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:35 AM Flag
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Tell her you understand she's gone back to working and you'd like to know what day you can expect her to be at your place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:41 AM Flag
[ - ] As the end of the school year approaches I’m starting to panic a bit as to what my 12 and 14 yr old ds’s will do all summer long. Sure, there will be the odd day here and there where we will go to the beach or vent out to other parts of the city, but on a day to day basis I fear it will be a daily nagging for them to get up and get some exercise outdoors. And the 12 yr old is not as independent when he isn’t actively engaged in schoolwork or playing outside, and gets bored easily and starts complaining. What are other city kids doing this summer? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:27 PM Flag
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Get them a pull up bar and some weights, Duolingo accounts and help them find some hobbies. My boys have been playing Dungeons and Dragons on crummy days, spending lots more time practicing instruments, one has decided to focus on his 3D illusion drawing and the other has been coding Minecraft stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:34 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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Op: yep, we have a chinup bar, they play d&d, older ds plays piano, they both like to draw, are allowed to do fun online stuff and have a Nintendo switch that they play on....I’m just thinking of filling up each day for two and a half months. Also I guess all the projects, cooking/baking and family games and movie watching have gotten pretty played out over the past two and a half months of quarantine. It’s just going to feel like an extension of what we’ve already been doing, except now with no schoolwork. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:48 PM Flag
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np. Give them more chores, it will make their fun time seem sweeter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:55 PM Flag
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Op: plenty of that too. They do dishes, empty dishwasher, take out garbage, clean the bathroom, put their laundry away. I guess I’m just hitting a wall today with all the monotony. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:43 PM Flag
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Don't be afraid of some boredom, they will eventually figure out something as long as you stick to the allocated screen time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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my 14 year old will be playing baseball, hanging out with friends and volunteering with Food Bank NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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Op: I’ll have to look into the food bank volunteering, that’s a great idea! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:49 PM Flag
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They are not currently taking new volunteers (the logistics were getting out of hand with all the new need) but there are other organizations [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:14 PM Flag
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Try this link. These are all volunteer opportunities that kids can do. There are a lot more if you select "teen" instead of "kids" https://www.volunteermatch.org/search#k=&v=false&isKid=true&s=1&o=distanceBand&l=New+York%2C+NY%2C+USA&r=20&sk=&specialGroupsData.groupSize=&na=&partner= [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:19 PM Flag
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Op: thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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where do you have baseball in the city? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:31 PM Flag
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Now that Cuomo said camps can open June 29th, youth sports will run as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Maybe for baseball and soccer but not for most indoor sports. No hockey in NYS this summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:47 PM Flag
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many coaches started doing small group clinics once Cuomo allowed groups of no more than 10 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:42 PM Flag
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NP: Where? The ballfields near us are closed, and it's hard to really get a good practice in in the grassy area of a park where people are sunbathing and toddlers are blowing bubbles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:16 PM Flag
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same question, I have seen a few dads in corners of parks, but what organized programs will be open for summer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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The ball-fields in Prospect park are open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Randall's Island ball fields are all open. There is a sign that says they are closed, but they are not. There are no team practices yet, but lots of informal, small groups and also lots of cops who don't seem to have any problem with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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I teach/tutor students that age in the fine arts and aviation. It's a combined summer program that has been cancelled at one site and up in the air at another. Your two Ds would be perfect for it, especially if they like planes and flying. Email me at summerarts2020@gmail.com for more info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Am I crazy for thinking I will send my kids to camp? Waiting to confirm the safety details, but feel like between the choice of being trapped inside a small apt all summer long or taking a risk and doing camp, camp sounds like a better choice since my kids are going CRAZY without interaction from others. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:13 PM Flag
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Same. Older ds’s sleep away camp is saying they’re open, and I will send him (it’s for two weeks). He desperately needs to be spending entire days in nature and kayaking on a lake and being around other kids his age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:23 PM Flag
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We are in the same boat and I am totally sending my kids. Judge away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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If we had income (we don't right now), I would also send DCs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:35 PM Flag
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My doctor said if his kids camps were open, he would have sent them. this is sleep away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:47 PM Flag
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my doctor said the opposite - not a risk worth taking she said [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:53 PM Flag
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Mine too! They go to the same camp as us and she said she was keeping fingers crossed for opening [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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Our doctor was a firm no. We decided not to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:13 PM Flag
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One of my kids' day camps might still run, but I am also actively looking for outdoor camps for my kids--horseback riding, tennis, farm camp, etc.--I don't see many safety issues with those kinds of programs. I am also considering joining with 1 or 2 other families and hiring someone for a backyard camp type thing, maybe for my younger child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know where I can find the Summer Day Camp safety guides issued for camps to follow for CT and NJ? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:00 PM Flag
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Did NJ post them? Thought they were still being hashed out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:32 PM Flag
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Our camp says they are still discussing with the NY Health Dept. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:40 PM Flag
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All of our CT camps are closed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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I thought that they were all opening now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Hi, I'm a data moron. Can someone tell me or point me to a source where I can easily find current cases/100,000 for NYS? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:50 PM Flag
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The Johns Hopkins COVID-19 dashboard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:51 PM Flag
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https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/usa/new-york/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:04 PM Flag
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thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:07 PM Flag
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This is the NY State site that shows by county: https://covid19tracker.health.ny.gov/views/NYS-COVID19-Tracker/NYSDOHCOVID-19Tracker-Map?%3Aembed=yes&%3Atoolbar=no&%3Atabs=n [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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I read this as “I’m dating a moron” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Would it be worth it to break my lease and move to a different apartment for 1 year to save $12K total? Or should I stay in my current place and then move next summer when lease is up? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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How much would the move cost you? Would you stay in the new apartment indefinitely or just a year? How much would your landlord charge you to break the lease? What are the pros/cons of each apartment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:23 PM Flag
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op: the move would cost $1-2k. I would stay there just a year. The landlord would work with me because it's in the same building. The new apartment is same square footage, but is divided into 3 real bedrooms so DCs would each have their own smallish rooms, instead of sharing one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:47 PM Flag
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And it's $1k cheaper per month. Just not sure whether it's worth the hassle of moving. They would raise the rent on either place after 1 year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:48 PM Flag
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I would move! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:59 PM Flag
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seems like there's a lot in favor of moving: saving money AND kids getting their own rooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:50 PM Flag
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np. This, do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:08 PM Flag
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I guess it depends on how much $10K means to you. It would mean a lot to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:05 PM Flag
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Are you guaranteed your original place back after the year? Do you know if you will eat any security/deposit money doing this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:23 PM Flag
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Not sure about security- need to check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:30 PM Flag
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You need to get that sorted in writing from your landlord before you agree to anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:51 PM Flag
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np. She is in the same building, it will probably be OK. We've done this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:01 PM Flag
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Are you the one from the other night who wants to move in the same building? If so, then YES, do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:24 PM Flag
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yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:28 PM Flag
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Yes, move. It will force you to kondo your things as you pack. You’ll feel so much lighter figuratively and literally in terms of possessions and the burden they carry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 03:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Considering an account in Instagram (I know. I'm behind the curve a bit.)--- why is this a good thing? thanks! 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:47 PM Flag
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For me, a very shy person who is better with visuals than words, it was a way to "put my self out there" rather than always shrinking away from interaction. It's also an album of moments that I can quickly scroll through to remember the past 5 years. Also a way to be supportive of friends with whom you would otherwise lose contact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:51 PM Flag
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Good summary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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OP: interesting. Is it less overtly braggy than FB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:05 PM Flag
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np yes I think it is, though there is inherent bragging in people sharing pics of certain aspects of life, vacations etc. All social media has that trap to some degree. IMO there is less arguing/fighting on IG than on Facebook. Lately I'm seeing a lot of negativity on FB but the tone is more positive/supportive on IG. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:07 PM Flag
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Depends on your friend group. Most of my friends won't post an album of dozens of pictures of their vacations (like some do on FB), but maybe one pretty sunset here or their kid playing in the beach. It's definitely a perfect forum for "showing off" though, even if it's not intentional. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:54 PM Flag
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FB will be even more abandoned soon and we need to move somewhere else. Employees are staging a virtual walk out and there is an initiative to "sign out" Thursday and Friday this week to protest Mark Z. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:51 PM Flag
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Instagram is owned by FB. I can see moving there if you like the features more or if it's more popular, but if you object to FB on general principal then Instagram is not any better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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So where to next? I do like following friends on SM. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:05 PM Flag
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I don't post too much, but love the IG feed so much more than Facebook. I follow more celebs than friends, so it's informative like Twitter, but easier/cleaner to follow (and without all of the back-and-forth convos and hot takes). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:30 PM Flag
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*celebs and public figures, I should say - it's entertaining and informative. Also, the temporary stories are fun and a much better way to show off your dinner, banana bread and cat pictures than filling up your feed with those things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:32 PM Flag
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OP: which celebs and public figures? I just followed Carolyn Murphy because I'm oddly obsessed with her. But, scrolling through her Instagram: maybe I don't like her after all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:53 PM Flag
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OP: OK! I now have an account. Who do you suggest I should follow? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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Trevor Noah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:49 PM Flag
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op: done! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:52 PM Flag
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Museums are great - the Louvre, the Met, British Museum, etc. Atlas Obsura is great, interesting places around the world. NYT had an article last week in the arts section about good accounts to follow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:54 PM Flag
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^^Atlas Obscura [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:55 PM Flag
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OP: oh, excellent. I had no idea these had Instagram accounts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:56 PM Flag
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I don't know what you like or are into, but I follow a lot of actors, musicians and directors whose work I really like. Agree with PP about museums - they have all been upping their daily content during the pandemic. A lot of celebs and orgs don't post a lot in their feeds, but will do a LOT in stories, so be sure to check those out. Chrissy Teigan is funny - always posting stuff with her kids, John and her food line. I like Amy Sedaris, Tracee Ellis Ross, Andy Cohen, Roxanne Gay, Dan Levy, Pete Souza, Billy Porter. And I follow local politicians (AOC, Corey Johnson, Cuomo), as well as both Obamas. I also follow way to many meme accounts (like Shitheadsteve, Fuck Jerry, Tank Sinatra), because I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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I like Andy Cohen and I follow some of (not most) the "housewives" for kicks. For Others- favorite magazines and websites have IG feeds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:01 PM Flag
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OP: oh my God the Kim K boob and butt photos! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:56 PM Flag
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Have fun in your new rabbit hole! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:15 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:33 PM Flag
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OP: oh my God. You guys did not mention this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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It’s created opportunities for me. I was cast in a tv show (hasn’t yet aired) after being discovered. In my real life, I work in the corporate world. My son was also booked in a commercial from a post I had on there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:16 PM Flag
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OP: so I've basically arrived at the conclusion that celebrities do this all day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:59 PM Flag
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In the COVID-era, you are 100% correct. For a lot of them, this is their lifeline to relevancy. A LOT of them have started doing "IG Lives" during the pandemic which are live videos that stream in the stories. Check out Questlove and DJ Dnice - they do awesome live DJ sets every night that are a blast! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:51 PM Flag
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watch Quest Love live - the best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Need help with setting boundaries. DH and I are getting divorced and are isolating together with kids as we finalize the paperwork. I asked for the divorce because he treats me terribly and constantly calls me names. Last night he wanted to talk about how he was feeling sad and anxious, and I said I was sorry, but I didn't have the bandwidth to provide emotional support to him right now. He responded, "you're going to be sorry when I either murder someone or jump out the window!" He is always saying stuff like this. He does see a psychiatrist once per week. Today I feel extremely guilty for not talking to him. What should I do? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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For a start, stop feeling guilty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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x a million. He is manipulative. Just get out of there as fast as you can, then use email or an app as a form of communication. People like him always try to rope you in one more time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:02 PM Flag
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op: thank you for the perspective. It's hard not to get sucked into his drama. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:12 PM Flag
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Once you move to online communication, it will be hard to mess with you like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:14 PM Flag
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op: yes. My lawyer put in the agreement that all communication would be done through a special family app, and he completely freaked out about it and said, "I thought we were trying to be friends?!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:16 PM Flag
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Say sure, we are trying to be friends, but communication is still through the app. Then stick to the app and ignore all else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:18 PM Flag
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Say yes, and the app will help us do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:36 PM Flag
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Call the psychiatrist and let him know he’s making these threats. They’re like a manipulation, but you never know. He could act on them. Not your job to provide emotional support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:14 PM Flag
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Someone will likely yell “HIPPA!” But that only means the doc can’t talk to you. You can tell the doc anything you need to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 08:15 PM Flag
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op: I have thought about this, thank you. I would like to call his psychiatrist and leave a message, but would the dr be obligated to tell him I called? If so, I wouldn't feel safe because he would be very angry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:21 PM Flag
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100% say that he is making definite statements indicating that he is a danger to himself and others. That is the gold standard for him getting a visit at least if not a ride to the ER for an evaluations. While his is there, change the locks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 11:29 PM Flag
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Wow. OP, please run. Remind him that comments like those are exactly why you're divorcing him, because him doing either of those things would ruin his childrens' lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:03 PM Flag
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op: yes, I know that logically. It's just messing with my head and then makes me feel like a terrible person. Per our agreement, he is supposed to move out and I am supposed to stay in our current home with the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:12 PM Flag
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np: unrelated but: how was that decided? My concern in a divorce would be that the kids and I would have to move, as has been the case with many of the divorces I've witnessed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:48 PM Flag
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op: he had his eye on a different place anyway, but I also argued that as the primary caregiver I should be able to stay with the kids to provide consistency. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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or: interesting. And true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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Ignore that stupid crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:13 PM Flag
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You are not responsible for his actions. Nothing that happens will be because of something you DID or some thing you DIDN’T DO. he is manipulating you. He is aunt being it up because you were not responding the way he has programmed you to respond. Do not engage. When he makes accusations, do not respond. Imagine that there is a Teflon coating surrounding your spirit, and don’t let the words that he says penetrate your emotions. Sending you warm wishes. Good for you for getting out of this terrible toxic situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:48 PM Flag
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op: thank you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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Pp- you’re welcome. He is “amping” it up. Was using voice text... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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Very accurate...especially "responding the way he has programmed you to" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:13 PM Flag
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Oh hell no. That's right out of the abuser textbook. Do NOT feel guilty, he is manipulating you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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op: thanks- been dealing with this for so long, it really helps to get a reality check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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Can you start to make a plan to have separate residences now that restrictions are lifting? It may be best to do it now because there is a likelihood that things could shut down again in the fall. I am divorced and my ex DH moved out as soon as we decided to separate. I can not imagine having boundaries without the ability to physically distance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:33 PM Flag
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op: yes, I am waiting for him to move out per our agreement. I am hoping it will be this summer (ideally next month). That's exactly it- he has so much access to me and can harass me at any time since we live together. Once we are in separate residences, I will be able to ignore some of his texts, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:44 PM Flag
[ - ] I live in a middle class to upper middle class Connecticut suburb and am stunned at how few people care/know proper grammar or how to spell. I'm a complete pedantic word nerd and know what a freak that makes me, so I can only share here. Thanks for listening. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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We see it here everyday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:48 PM Flag
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Doctors, Attorneys , and people in Finance tend to be poor spellers. That is what admin assistants with English degrees are for ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:33 PM Flag
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And are these the same people who claim to value education? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Our world is going to hell in so many ways, perhaps the least of which is grammatical correctness and spelling. Nobody cares, sadly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:51 PM Flag
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If you remove "/know" from your sentence, it would read "...how few people care proper grammar..." This is obviously incorrect phrasing. Signed, parallel construction nerd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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I'm a grammar nerd too, although I've pretty much given up online. But years ago, I was in charge of organizing a protest to our school board, and collected a bunch of emails from other people in the community that I would review and summarize. Lots of professionals and educators. The grammar, spelling, and lack of ability to write a coherent paragraph--much less structure a multi-paragraph argument--was just appalling. I was truly shocked. These were allegedly well-educated people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:18 PM Flag
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I am often shocked at how few seemingly smart people can do basic mental math, like quickly calculate a tip. I think you are a math person or a verbal/English person. It is rare to be both. - Signed Math Person [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:52 PM Flag
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- *can't do basic mental math [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Cuomo just said day camps can open 6/29 in NYC - how is that less dangerous than schools!? 58 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:50 PM Flag
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wait - how did i miss that?! rewinding now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:51 PM Flag
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Just saw... was that NY State or NYC too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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It will be good to see how camp works out before they decide reg schools in the fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:51 PM Flag
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school ends in NYC on 6/26 and we're not even in phase 1 yet. what do you want him to do, open the schools for 3 weeks? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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For everyone or essential workers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:54 PM Flag
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everyone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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Everyone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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much lower numbers of kids attend camp and many camps are outside. Also, school is over end of June, a lot of the problem with opening schools was that there just wasn't enough time to implement safety measures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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This. They knew that the level of infection was likely to be low enough by June to open schools with safety measures in place, but there just wasn't enough time left in the year. UK opened schools because they go until mid-July so it was worth it as far as having a significant amount of learning time left [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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Yo opened only 3 grades, not all schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:03 PM Flag
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Day camps won't have the same numbers as schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:11 PM Flag
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Did he share the guidelines they will have to follow? Will kids need to wear masks? Are buses ok? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:57 PM Flag
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It was literally one bullet point on a slide... watching Q&A now to see if anyone asks/clarifies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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I think the CDC had released guidelines. They are thorough and expensive to implement, so it's unlikely that every day camp will be willing or able to do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:02 PM Flag
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we've had 11 weeks to teach the kids to wear masks and distance from each other. It's not risk-free, but it's better than schools were in March. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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op- i just want schools to open in the fall - distance learning is not working for little kids! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:03 PM Flag
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Our private said they would be open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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The reality is that schools will be no safer in Sept than camps will be in June/July. So either we leave "confinement" and try to live our lives with a new normal or we commit to staying inside for a very, very long time. I will likely send my kids to camp and will definitely send them back to school in September. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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Hello. Are you living in this world? COVID IS OVER [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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go back under the bridge and be quiet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:31 PM Flag
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np: how is COVID over?? 1,812,742 confirmed cases in the US as of today, up 1,465 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:39 PM Flag
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what about sleep away?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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no decision yet. My dcs go to camp in Maine and they are open - I am torn on what to do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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When does it start? How long do you have to decide? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:26 PM Flag
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July 10 and this week to decide [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:41 PM Flag
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Our NH one is still opening but in mid July for only 5 weeks. I will be sending. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:40 PM Flag
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what made you comfortable to send? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:43 PM Flag
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I think it would be safer than staying in the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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we will not be in the city but in country home in CT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:29 PM Flag
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That’s great but we don’t have a country home so if sleep away camp is open, my kids are going. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:31 PM Flag
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np: we are in our country home too and my kids are going. I figure it sounds safer than school in the fall and if that is open, I'm sending them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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I heard that! But he just said it in passing. I was like, Um, details please?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:28 PM Flag
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Problem was there are so many more issues going on that talking about camps seems frivolous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:41 PM Flag
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important for mental health [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:43 PM Flag
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agree with this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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I understand that but he only has so much time at these press conferences so the protests and Covid rank higher on the priority list for discussion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:01 PM Flag
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pp - True. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 11:36 AM Flag
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Yes I took a screenshot. It was right around the 6 min mark or a little past it, if anyone wants to go watch it online. The slide says that summer day camps can open June 29, and no decision yet on a sleepaway camps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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That’s sweet. Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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only in Manhattan or in Westchester as well?... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:07 PM Flag
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His slide just said "NY" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 07:20 PM Flag
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Well, it's after schools close, so it's not relevant. But it will be a real test of whether in-person school will work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:25 PM Flag
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It's relevant for people who need childcare during the summer. Actually very important! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:31 PM Flag
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This. Not to mention kids living in 900sf with no outdoor space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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Not really if you think about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:31 PM Flag
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I think I read it wrong, apologies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:59 PM Flag
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I think the difference is that a lot of camp is outdoors which is much safer and easier to space kids out. He also said that while day camp is approved, they are still reviewing the guidelines. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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He realizes it’s June 2nd right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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many camps decided to close. and a number have been making plans per CDC guidelines and discussions with experts, shared those plans, and were waiting for the OK. it will be a very different experience with many restrictions, sounds like more staff. plenty of HS and College students around to fill those jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:54 PM Flag
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oops wrong post [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:55 PM Flag
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»many camps decided to close. and a number have been making plans per CDC guidelines and discussions with experts, shared those plans, and were waiting for the OK. it will be a very different experience with many restrictions, sounds like more staff. plenty of HS and College students around to fill those jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 05:56 PM Flag
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hopefully schools will open in sep!! i dont think they had time to open the schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:00 PM Flag
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our day camp sent out 20 page handbook last week. masks and temperature checks on bus. handwashing before every activity. no backpacks. camp laundry service for bathsuits. everyone has a cubby where their stuff goes. all staff wears maks all day- type depends on how many different groups they interact with. kids stay in a pod of 8 campers and 2 counselors. and they have a huge outdoor space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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oh and will cancel if going to rain all day. and no instructional swim. they have 40 acres in westchester. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:27 PM Flag
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Mohawk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 04:32 PM Flag
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JCC Day Camp and Camp Settoga announced today they will not open this summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:14 AM Flag
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The issue is that there are so many regulations in place that camps can't meet those standards because it's not cost effective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.20, 12:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Smart moms, I ask here for your advice. I stupidly dated and then got dumped by/dumped a guy at work (not traditional work but a group of tech entrepreneurs with a physical space in Brooklyn). The group has moved online. The office will open likely this summer/fall. I have avoided the online chat even though I desperately miss the companionship. He made it clear in the breakup he was going to make my life miserable there. He is super insecure, thinks he owns this group, is quiet, socially awkward, manipulative, and I believe very angry at me for having the gall to dump him. He seems to be making it clear that I am on the outs w/the tech crew. Question: Should I go back? I don't want to be intimidated but if so I don't know how to behave. I am super social and chatty and he is quiet and controlling and when I'm nervous I go into extra chatty/social overdrive. I do not want to reappear in either online or physical form until I can get a handle on the tone of my behavior and get some control over my nervousness. Please advise. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:46 PM Flag
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That's tough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:47 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t take his word for the tech crew’s feelings right now. Can you dip your toe in the online chat? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:51 PM Flag
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I can stalk there (I am signed up) but I haven't because I am trying to get a handle on my emotions. By next week I'll be ready. I am nervous about posting anything but I think I should soon. He is just all over the chat channels. The other option is to avoid it until the physical space reopens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:52 PM Flag
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I think you have more control over typing than in person conversations as far as being nervous. It could help ease the awkwardness to not let too much time go by before you jump back in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:56 PM Flag
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I think you are making it worse by focusing on your feelings. I get it that you don't want to embarrass yourself, but allow yourself to feel whatever you feel for now, it's absolutely normal. Give yourself some time. Start joining online. Do you have a level-headed friend to help you refrain from posting something you may regret later? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:56 PM Flag
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Yes I have friends who have the patience to help me with this -- but no close friends there. I am just embarrassed because all of hist posts are getting tons of adulation I'm sure and if I post I don't know if anyone will acknowledge them. And this will give him more of a sense of power. In person I have the upper hand as I'm social and dynamic. But he seem to dominate the online space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:02 PM Flag
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Just don't look at it as a battle for likes, you continue your life and ignore him as much as possible. If he starts purposefully attacking, then you reconsider. I know it is tough, but at least try. Leaving is always an option, no shame in that. But try to resume normal group relations first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:05 PM Flag
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OK will do. Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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We are here for you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:11 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:21 PM Flag
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I would absolutely stake my ground. I would not let someone who is my equal dominate or intimidate me. You have just as much of a right to be part of this group as he does, and it's likely people sense/know his personality. I would rise above this nonsense, rejoin the group, ignore him or limit my interaction to cold professionalism, and act as if nothing happened. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:51 PM Flag
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OK. I had no idea he was such a misogynist until the breakup and he was incredibly hurtful in a super misogynistic way. I feel like I have to stake my ground. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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OR: you absolutely f*cking do. All of this behavior renders him a pathetic sociopath who should not be taking another moment of your time or energy. Move on an treat him as if he does not exist, kill him with cool politeness- particularly in front of any group. It makes me downright angry that he's intimidating your like some third grader, and that you might let him get away with it. He needs to grow up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:56 PM Flag
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^^^separately--- an online chat format is a perfect way to start, as you can have complete control of your tone and demeanor, and carefully review and edit all interactions. I predict your cool, aloof tone with him will infuriate him. I predict he will then either be rude to you in person (which will out him publicly) or one on one, which you can ignore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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Yes and I need to grow up too because I feel like I am quietly slipping away to avoid the intimidation. My reluctance is that since I am an exuberant person especially when nervous I will be over the top. I need to get a handle on my emotions before I make my appearance and fight off the intimidation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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np. What's the worse to happen if you are OTT chatty? Really, chalk it up to being in quarantine for so long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:03 PM Flag
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Yeah this is my normal personality anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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^ and yes I feel like he's sociopathic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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Do you believe him? If he's insecure and controlling, he could easily be saying you're on the outs just to intimidate you. He sounds like a total child!! What kind of adult can't just move on, has to scorch the earth too? (Unless you did something awful to him you're not mentioning) If he's like this all the time, you can't be the only person who notices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:52 PM Flag
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He comes off as this quiet, sensitive, semi awkward guy. He's a total child! He has a ton of online friends on the socials but weirdly few or no close friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 04:07 PM Flag
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Is the group predominantly male? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.20, 03:52 PM Flag
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Yes. Gay and straight. And young. He and I are only ones in our mid 40s. [ Reply | More
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