UrbanBaby

07.04.20, 13:15 PM General Topics
10 replies

Found out this week that I am unexpectedly pregnant with our first DC. We weren’t intending to try for at least another 2 years since we got married just last fall (We are both 30). I’m kind of in shock and DH is freaking out. He says he wishes we had more time when it was just us and that he doesn’t feel ready to be a parent yet. Any advice? Am worried that he will resent DC and that we never had those first golden pre-kid marriage years to look back on- it will just be diapers and sleep deprivation from the get go. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.04.20, 01:15 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

I don't have the perfect advice- but I hope you come to peace with it. Sending hugs and support. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 01:25 PM Flag

I was married for 2 yrs before getting pregnant and that time is really a blur. it wasn't an amazing time filled w travel and adventure. we were working and it was really the same as when we were dating (pre marriage). and think of it this way: it isn't like you and DH can travel the world right now before having a baby so it really is a good time to have a baby. stay hunkered down and nest etc. PS I too was 30 when pregnant w first and it was a nice age to have a baby. you won't feel rushed to have a second one since you are still young and can wait a few yrs. Your DH will feel very differently once baby arrives. Most DH act that way when there is a major change like new baby. My DH wasn't ready either bit then it just happens and you go w it [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 01:27 PM Flag

This happened to us, except I was the one who wasn't ready. PG 6 months from our wedding. We were a little older than you (33) but DH was very eager and feared fertility problems because his sister had issues. I was miserable and sick being pregnant and very resentful but now I have an amazing 11 year old and wonderful 8 year old and wouldn't change anything. It was really hard at first though, both the pregnancy and caring for an infant. The truth is we may have had a third if we started earlier. It will be a blessing and you'll have more years with your child. It just takes some getting used to. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 02:04 PM Flag

a nice thing is you could then wait for a while before having more if you wanted. kids are a lot of work but ones spaced out are less. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 02:17 PM Flag

I got pregnant on our honeymoon but we were going to start trying as I was 35 and my husband was 41. It would have been nice to have some more time but we had already been attached at the hip For three years prior. More than likely, if he wanted kids ultimately, he will get over it and get on bored. Point out that it will be great to be hitting 50 and getting a shot at another fun stage in your life. Also, it’s easier to deal w young kids when you have more energy. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 02:18 PM Flag

It will be hard for a few years but depending on how many kids you plan on having, you’ll get somewhat of a life back by the time you’re in your late 30s/early 40s. Still lots of youth left to enjoy. I had mine at 35 and wish I would have started a couple years sooner. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 03:47 PM Flag

Having children is an amazing journey. Don't fret, DH has 9 months to get used to it. It will sink in. Remember, you will not be sleep deprived for long. In the grand scheme of things, it's a temporary thing. Enjoy the bliss that comes with having children. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 04:12 PM Flag

I became pregnant years earlier than planned and it was the best thing that ever happened to us. Give it a few more weeks. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 06:11 PM Flag

-> to get used to the idea! Not give the pregnancy a few more weeks- sorry! [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.04.20, 06:12 PM Flag

The earlier you start, the earlier you can kick them out. [ Reply | More

]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:07 AM Flag