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07.01.20, 16:16 PM General Topics
95 replies
If you are middle class two parent working family with young school age kids n HCOL area, you have been SCREWED by COVID-19. No stimulus check, extra work with remote learning, stress of trying to do your job remotely. No wonder we all have been drinking so heavily. And yes, I understand life has been stressful for everyone else as well but the government has at least put a small helping hand out to you. You have my sympathy even more if you are essential worker. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 04:16 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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We have not ALL been drinking heavily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:22 PM Flag
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Calm down Debbie Downer!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:25 PM Flag
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np- It's a sign of the times that the person saying we haven't all been drinking heavily is the downer. (signed a heavy drinker) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:32 PM Flag
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OP: I meant it tongue in cheek but there is always one that has to take it literally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:46 PM Flag
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But how has it impacted you financially that a stimulus check would help? I bet you’ve saved money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:25 PM Flag
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np -- when you are middle class, of course it helps! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:28 PM Flag
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Or. Ok I guess I worded that poorly, of course money is always good. My point is that the op was not harmed financially by the current situation and probably has benefited financially even without a stimulus check [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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OP: I worded my original post poorly because I wasn't actually talking about me personally. But the fact people can't understand there a middle class people out there struggling are the same people wondering why parents want to send their kids to an "unsafe" school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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But couples with HHI under $199K DID get checks. If you're making $200K+, you're not middle class. You may have to do things like nix the fancy private ballet lessons and not eat out as much, but it's not like you're not going to be able to make rent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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OP: Its not just money. It's the day to day quality of life. 2 working parent family with kids is not in the same situation as unemployed, SAHP, single household. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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Of course - we're all struggling with that. But take it from me, the stim check didn't help that one bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:22 PM Flag
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So one of you quit your job, you will still be better off than the majority of the population. Cry me a river when you have a real problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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At the start of Covid we had a HHI of 45k once DH lost his job. No check because of previous years income. Unemployment supplement will soon run out and he still has found a job, and he isn’t sitting back and taking the money instead of working as Republicans would have you believe! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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That SUCKS. Hope he finds something soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:23 PM Flag
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You are us. DH lost his job immediately (March 10) and he was the breadwinner, so we are now down to my salary of 55k and have just about run through our savings, so once the unemployment supplement runs out we will have to explain to our landlord why we can't pay rent and hope for a lease renewal anyway. I get we can't be evicted *yet* but it's a pretty shitty feeling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 03:15 AM Flag
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My family makes about 160K a year and we got checks. Socked it away for college for our kids. We're doing better during Covid than we normally do. Our costs have been cut in half, our kids are thriving, and we're enjoying our life. And honestly I think we shouldn't have qualified for that money. People with incomes under about 75KHHI should be the only ones getting that money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:49 PM Flag
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I disagree. It should be for people who lost their jobs or people making small amounts of money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 03:59 AM Flag
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OP: Did we? Because I kept paying my daycare, ballet classes, hairstylist, eating out to help restraunts. We saved some money but my quarantine hasn't been Netflix and Chill. It's been the exact opposite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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You paid your hairstylist? If you spent the same eating out to “help” that’s on you and pretty ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:30 PM Flag
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This - eating out to help is a wonderful thought, but it's not a middle class behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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OP: You didn't order from a local restaurant to help make sure they can stay in business. I'm not talking every night but we do order occasionally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:54 PM Flag
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Did you order in less than you normally eat out? I’m guessing yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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OP: No, we probably order the same. It's more...do you feel like cooking dinner/yes/no. I'm not talking expensive meals. I have two kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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Well maybe that’s why you are staying middle class if making choices like that. I don’t know anyone whose spending on eating “out” stayed the same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: I don't think ordering Chinese every two weeks is breaking the bank but okay... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:07 PM Flag
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But that’s all you do normally? You don’t grab lunch, get coffee, popcorn are the movies? You’re being evasive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:09 PM Flag
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OP: Actually no for me personally. My husbands expenses have gone down however...Not being evasive. Usually bring lunch...(on diet)...office has coffee and I have two kids...last movie I saw were kiddy movies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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NP: I ordered out occasionally during lockdown, but maybe once every other week tops. Still massive savings versus "normal times" where we're out grabbing coffees here and there on our way to work, snacks after practices, etc. and eating out/getting takeout more regularly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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This. Op is absurd. Should be grateful she was able to stay home without financial repercussions and stay safe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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OP: Again, not necessarily personally for me. I doubt a nurse married to a police officer is getting a stimulus check...Add in small kids and tell me again how grateful they should feel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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Who is saying anyone should feel grateful?! This pandemic SUCKS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:24 PM Flag
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OP: Yes it does suck and I was saying hey people in this particular situation...I see you and think people have kind of ignored you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:29 PM Flag
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But they are both still fully employed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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We lost income so yes, we did not order. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:47 PM Flag
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Exactly. That's the problem with people today - they think they are entitled to a kind of lifestyle they cannot actually afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:03 PM Flag
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OP: First of all I'm NOT middle class. I wasn't actually talking about myself in terms of finances but I can see how a family on the cusp of 200k would be sitting around like...what about me. I can afford my lifestyle...Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:08 PM Flag
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BS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:01 AM Flag
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Why would you do this? I hope you didn't believe the fake UB "I keep paying everyone"...I paid my housekeeper 3 weeks, and that's about three weeks more than most people I know. And if you are feeling so screwed as to post here, your first priority is to your family, not to restaurants or your hairstylist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:34 PM Flag
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OP: I don't feel "screwed". I have zero regrets to continue paying daycare and ballet etc because it was the right thing to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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So stop whining [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:32 PM Flag
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Maybe you didn't need ballet classes, hairstylists or eating out to begin with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: LOL, you do understand I'm not taking ballet lessons. And yes, I actually need a hairstylist and I'm pretty low maintenance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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You're not low maintenance if you need a hairstylist [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:25 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you white lady for telling me I don't need a hairstylist... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:30 PM Flag
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Who said I'm white? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:24 PM Flag
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No, of course the ballet classes aren't for you. Your KID doesn't need ballet classes. That's my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:58 PM Flag
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+1. In lockdown we haven't had to pay for any of the basics like transit fares, new clothes/shoes, field trips, etc., and have done virtually none of the "extras" (dining out, going to plays, movies, buying birthday presents for random kids' parties, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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This! I got over $1,000 in refunds just from shows being canceled that I had already bought tickets to. Plus the camp refund. We did get a streaming service, but it is less than one night out at the movies. Colored my own hair for $20. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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Same! I saved money on commuting, activities, housekeeping, Camps. I spent on a new printer and ink and paper but we saved a lot of money. I also had tickets to two Broadway shows and the NCAA tournament which were all cancelled [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:36 PM Flag
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I agree and relate 100% with what you're saying, but FYI - truly middle class parents got stimulus checks (we live in Brooklyn, HHI $149K). If you make more than $199K, sorry, but you are not middle class, even in a high COL city. But I get that your life is no less stressful in this time, and sucks for those in that income bracket who just recently lost income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:27 PM Flag
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OP: Fair point but a lot of people at 200k with two small kids, mortgage, daycare aren't rolling in the money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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Of course they aren't... but if you're paying for daycare and ballet, you're still "stimulating" the economy (vs. trying to decide between groceries or rent) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:13 PM Flag
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OP: You do understand that essential workers (and two in the same household) didn't get a break from daycare. They had still find ways to make sure their kids were watched. The only reason I made the point of ballet, daycare, hairstylist is because those places still need an influx of cash while the government sorted itself out. People are taking it as a sign that I personally feel like I'm middle class. I'm not but I have sympathy for those who are in the weird middle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:20 PM Flag
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Are you in NYC and in public school? You'll be at least getting $420 per kid in the next month or two for groceries, regardless of income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:32 PM Flag
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OP: No, not in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:02 PM Flag
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You keep saying this but no where have I read or heard anything about this plan in the news. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:11 PM Flag
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This is the first time "I" have posted this, but if you google "NYC DOE EBT" you'll find plenty of links to details, like this one: www.nysenate.gov/newsroom/articles/2020/julia-salazar/money-groceries-coming-all-nyc-families [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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Ok, just googled. this benefit is only for kids whose family would qualify for free/reduced lunch. People are making it sound like it is going to every NYC public school child. Not true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:29 PM Flag
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Everyone in NYC is getting it because everyone gets free lunch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:42 PM Flag
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Exactly - everyone in NYC public schools gets free lunch. Some kids in Charters and Privates do too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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It's been all over. Our 2 schools email a few times about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:57 PM Flag
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I have barely been drinking. Feels too weird/gross when I'm sitting around all day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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I get what you are saying--I don't make a high salary, but because I file jointly with DH, I didn't get a check (even though I have DCs). My coworker with an identical salary lives with a high paying DH, and no children, but because she files separately got a check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:34 PM Flag
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So true. I have gone back to the office which has been great for my sanity but DH is not coping well with being the one at home [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:35 PM Flag
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A lot of companies got govt money, so that may have helped people keep their jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:36 PM Flag
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I work for the government and they may run out of money to pay me my middle class salary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:39 PM Flag
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OP: I can assure you my company got exactly zero dollars from the government. This isn't about money. It's about this silent group who has been shouldering a lot of the work to keep this country going quietly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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Oh oh the silent majority lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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I would not describe middle-class parents who are wfh while kids learn online as having been silent about their struggles [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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how are we defining middle class? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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OP: UB middle class. (I'm kidding) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:04 PM Flag
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You're not though - stimulus checks were sent to married-filing-jointly couples who earn $199K or less (full amount to those under $150K, smaller amounts were given to those earning $150-199K). So in this case, while $200K in NYC might not feel particularly "wealthy" most folks in that bracket probably aren't worried about deciding between paying housing costs and buying groceries this month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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You're not though - stimulus checks were sent to married-filing-jointly couples who earn $199K or less (full amount to those under $150K, smaller amounts were given to those earning $150-199K). So in this case, while $200K in NYC might not feel particularly "wealthy" most folks in that bracket probably aren't worried about deciding between paying housing costs and buying groceries this month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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So you're thinking those with joint income of $200k and below? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:41 PM Flag
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See, you have ballet classes, dining out, and hairstylist among your regular expenses. When you see this, it's hard to sympathize that you "have" to work two incomes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:04 PM Flag
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+1000 Needs and wants get conflated quite a bit. This is what leads people to feel "poor" on 600K incomes or cry that they want to SAH for a couple years but "can't". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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OP: No one is poor on 600K...That's some old school UB thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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OP: I'm not middle class but I can have empathy to those that are middle class. And when is ballet classes and dining out some sign of great wealth. If you can't afford those things...you probably aren't middle class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:14 PM Flag
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Ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:05 PM Flag
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If you run the numbers and it's not in affordability after normal expenses, but you think you should have them, it's entitlement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:59 PM Flag
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Ummm, since wages stagnated, college costs and housing got ridiculously expense -- that's when. Welcome to 2020. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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I agree w OP.... People keep stretching what middle class means, but a few activities should fit in a middle class budget. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 10:07 PM Flag
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+100000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:20 PM Flag
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Agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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I don't agree. If you kept your job, you are lucky. Heck, I lost my job, and my DH's income was cut in half, so we went from $360k last year to $120k this year, and I still feel lucky. And we have 2 kids and live in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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We are in the very slim gap where we are just above the cut off for the stimulus check, so if we had a lower income, we would have made more money. We're still so fortunate, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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It phased out from $150-200k, so it’s not like you would’ve got the full amount. Not that it reallly helps but at least you didn’t miss getting the full amount because you made $100 too much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:05 AM Flag
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Oh, exactly, and it is on that scale. Like we would have been a couple hundred ahead if we made slightly less. Certainly wouldn't have affected anything. It is just amused me that we were in that tiny sliver. I know how fortunate we are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:20 PM Flag
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They used last year's taxes if you hadn't filed this year's at that point, but DH filed early. We would have qualified with last year's, but didn't with this year's. So we were penalize for being on top of things (for once in our lives!) It is all fine, and clearly we're OK. But that will teach us to be on the ball! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:22 PM Flag
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