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06.30.20, 23:57 PM General Topics
11 replies
Please! I need to know how to cure my son's negative litany. He criticizes ev-er-y-thing. Tonight he criticized the Simpsons as only being ha ha funny, not laugh out loud funny, the pasta being too peppery, everything! He had a playdate and I could tell he was boring his rather upbeat friend with his tirades about the teachers and Fortnite. Truth be told, he gets it from his father, me and my mother. I've consciously stopped complaining but how do I turn it around for him? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.30.20, 11:57 PM Flag
 

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I think you have to treat it like dog training -- praise and reward anything he does that you approve of, and ignore/remove attention from any behavior you want to stop. So, if he says something nice about anyone or anything, you notice it and tell him and how happy you are to hear him say that. If he complains, you just ignore and walk away. Don't engage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 12:18 AM Flag
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1. The simpsons havent been funny in a long time. Your kid is probably brighter than his age group so getting bored more easily. 2. Cut all internet since its just a huge pool of negativity. Instead buy anything he needs for productive interests. Baseball bat, guitar, electronics set, summer camp, whatever that is not video games, internet or tv. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 12:43 AM Flag
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You are right. It has been 2 weeks straight of this. Next three weeks we will be traveling and he has a camp. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 01:11 AM Flag
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Tell him nobody likes a complainer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 12:58 AM Flag
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I say this constantly. I tell him how he is setting negative grooves in his brain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 01:12 AM Flag
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Have him do some cognitive behavioral therapy to rewire his neural pathways (or whatever!). And he should change is habits/schedule if life is so boring to him. He should create a new daily schedule and lose certain things that he doesn't like and add a few things that will get him out of his mental rut. I highly recommend sleeping with the shades open to wake with the sun (or sleeping outside on balcony or in yard) and going for a long early morning walk if possible. Reframes one's thinking for the whole day. I also highly recommend camping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 01:39 AM Flag
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That's so odd. I've heard sleeping in a dark room is important. I've never heard to wake with the sun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 01:48 AM Flag
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It's natural. The trick is to start really winding down when the sun goes down and preferably no blue light (TV, phone) thereafter. Can work or read by yellow light for a bit but should turn in by 10ish and the get up by 6ish. We are happier this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 02:00 AM Flag
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maybe be honest with him and tell him that it gets really tiring to be around and that it’s not a trait you’re proud of in yourself. If you have an example of a time when it caused problems for you, tell him about it. I feel like this is sort of a common thing and people think they’re being quirky or funny but it does get old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 03:34 AM Flag
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Point out the behavior you’ve noticed, tell him that you realize that you also do it and that it’s not a positive equality. That finding fault w everything steals joy and nobody wants to hear it. Also, If he complains about everything, you don’t know when there is something really wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 03:56 AM Flag
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model positive behavior and try to either praise things, or say nothing. At first it will be strange and feel fake, but after a while, it will come more naturally. You could say, "ah, I put too much pepper in this pasta. Next time I'll know better, but I'm glad the noodles turned out al dente" etc. It will take a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.01.20, 05:34 AM Flag
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